Absent Imprint: Leah's Story
by IamKate
Summary: Leah has been hurt one too many times in the past. When she finally meets the guy who can make her forget it all, she must decide whether to let him go...or risk her heart and give their love a chance. CANON/OC
1. Sam

Disclaimer: This story is part of my Imprint Saga. While all Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, there are several characters that belong to me. Please don't take my concepts or characters without my knowledge and permission.

**FOUR THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU START READING**

**1) This story is Rated M**

This story is meant for adults. Per site rules, if you're under 16, you shouldn't be reading this story. This story has adult themes and strong language. If either offends you, please don't read. This is the only warning I'll be giving out regarding this story's content.

**2) This story is part of my Imprint Saga**

I've written several imprint stories now. In order, they are: First Imprint (Sam's Story), Early Imprint (Quil's Story), and Forbidden Imprint (Embry's Story). I'll be writing Leah's POV on things that have happened so far in my other stories, as well as showing new scenes you haven't seen yet. You don't have to read my other stories first to understand what's going on, but they'll give you a lot of filler information. To my current readers, I'm still planning on starting the story on Sam and Jake's kids as soon as I'm done with Forbidden. I'll be writing this story at the same time.

**3) The setup of this story**

To cover the different events that have happened to Leah throughout my saga, I'll be skipping over certain events and highlighting others. Think of this story as a collective group of one-shots in Leah's POV. I'll most likely have a prologue before each chapter. The prologues take place in the present; the rest of the chapter takes place in the past. My other Imprint Saga stories will continue to be my main focus, so I'll be updating this story periodically.

**4) My version of Leah**

I've always seen Leah as someone who had a lot thrown at her at once. Her dad died and she phased for the first time all around the same time. Plus, she had her heart broken by Sam. Leah was then thrown into Sam's pack and had to hear his thoughts about Emily. (I'm a huge fan of Sam & Emily, by the way. Remember there are two sides to every story. Check out Sam's side in my story, "First Imprint.") Of course Leah acted out accordingly, was angry, and the guys thought she was trying to be a bitch. But I don't see Leah as a nasty shrew, and I'm not going to write her that way. Can she be bitter sometimes? Sure. But she's also tough, strong, vulnerable, caring, and a fighter. In this story, you'll see all sides of Leah.

Now, my stories follow the SM universe, meaning that everyone stays in **CANON**. I'm a huge fan of imprinting and of Jacob and Ness, and I've kept them paired in this story. I listed Jacob as a main character because he plays a huge role in Leah's life and will have a large part in this story...but nothing remotely romantic will ever happen between them.

(I try to answer most of my reviews. However, if you write simply to argue imprinting with me, please take it somewhere else. You don't have to read this story if you don't agree with the concept. That said, I hope you'll give the story a chance anyway.)

* * *

Absent Imprint (Leah's Story)

**Prologue**

I've only had two great loves of my life and the first one was Sam Uley. I don't know if I could really classify him as a "great love." First of all, the bastard _did_ dump me for my cousin. Yeah, I know…he imprinted on her, blah, blah, blah.

But to be defined as a "great love" by me means that the person should also bear the title "soul mate"…if you believed in that kind of bullshit. And being surrounded by imprint couples half my life, I had to recognize that there was such a phenomenon as soul mates. It's kind of hard not to when you have imprint love crammed down your throat every which way you look.

I was lucky enough to find my great love though without the power of imprinting. I wasn't blessed/cursed, depending on which of my brothers you ask, with being magically connected to my husband. (And yes, you read correctly. I have two brothers…trust me, it was a surprise for me too.)

But anyway…lol, my poor husband. He certainly had his work cut out for him by the time we met. The man really did have the patience of a saint. He needed it. Because by the time he found me, I was broken almost beyond repair. To the outside world, I presented the angry bitch exterior. I was the only one who knew how utterly defeated I truly felt…well, maybe Jacob guessed. Not only was he my Alpha and I his beta, but somewhere over the years, he also became one of my closest friends. But I'll get into that later.

I was one of a few in the pack who lived with the absence of an imprint in my life. That was always the way it's been with me. I've always followed my own path. I'm Leah fucking Clearwater-Gordon. Freak wolf…the only female wolf in the entire Quileute tribal history…or so I thought. But that's another story for another time. To explain _my_ story, I need to start at the beginning. And that means I need to begin with the man who started it all.

Sam was my first everything. My first love, my first sex, my first heartbreak, and the reason for my first phase. Sam was the reason my life changed so drastically in such a short time. If it weren't for Sam, my life would have never taken the route that it did…

**Chapter 1 – Sam**

Leah's POV

I was about to head over to my boyfriend Sam's house when my mom called my name.

"Leah, I just talked to your Aunt Eva," my mom said as she walked towards where I was standing near the front door.

Eva was technically my dad's cousin, but I had always referred to her as "Aunt." Just like her kids, Emily and Ronnie, called my parents aunt and uncle.

My mom continued, "Apparently Emily isn't sure about whether she wants to go to college in the fall or not. Eva and Roger asked if we could let her work in the store for the summer. I think they're hoping a little retail experience will convince her to go to school."

My cousin Emily was like a sister to me. We were only a few months apart and though we didn't get to see each other a lot, we emailed one another all the time. I'm sure Emily was usually bored with my emails as they all pertained to Sam, but she never said anything.

"So…she'll be spending the summer here? That's great," I enthused.

If Emily wanted to experience life at my parents' _Clearwater's Supply Store_, then I was all for it. Especially if that meant I wouldn't have to spend as much time there this summer, and I could devote more time to Sam.

He had been acting so strangely lately. He had hit some freak growth spurt recently and he always seemed to have a fever anymore. He had also been complaining that his body hurt lately. And God was he cranky. Maybe if we could spend some quality time together, it would get us over this little hiccup we were currently experiencing.

"Emily will be arriving in town the day we're having your graduation party," my mom told me. I was graduating from high school in a few months and couldn't wait! "It'd be nice if you and Sam could welcome Emily. Maybe take her out to dinner once she settles in. Wouldn't it be nice if Sam could introduce her to one of his friends..."

My mom wiggled her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes in response. Emily was one of the sweetest people you could ever meet, but she was a little shy when it came to relationships. She always told me she didn't want to date a bunch of wrongs before Mr. Right came along.

"Yeah mom, that's not going to happen. I'm not fixing Em up. But I'll talk to Sam and we'll arrange to take her out, okay?"

"Thank you," my mom replied, coming over to kiss my cheek before walking down the hall.

I was out the door before I remembered I hadn't taken my birth control pill. Running back into the house, I ran into my room and grabbed my packet of pills out of my nightstand. Grabbing a cup of water from the bathroom, I quickly swallowed my pill and turned to leave, running into Seth who was coming out of his bedroom.

"Sam coming over today?" Seth asked eagerly.

Seth loved Sam. Sam didn't really have a family aside from his mother Dorothy, so my family had taken him in once we started dating. I knew that Sam considered my dad a second father to him and Seth was the little brother he always wanted. The guys would sometimes have days out where they'd go to Seattle to watch the Mariners play, or they'd have "bonding time" and watch football or baseball on TV. The whole family adored Sam.

"Sam hasn't been feeling well lately. I doubt he'll want to leave the house," I answered my brother's question, reaching up to rough his hair as I walked by him.

"Lee, stop," Seth complained, patting down his hair. He was getting so big. Already 14 and he towered over me.

"You're hogging Sam," Seth whined good-naturedly. I shook my head at him.

"If Sam's feeling up to it, then _maybe_ we'll stop by later, okay?" I said as I made my way back downstairs.

"Okay," Seth replied happily before heading into the bathroom. I chuckled in response. Nothing ever got my brother down for long.

I made my way to my car and hopped in, heading over to Sam's. His mom Dorothy was still at work, but I knew Sam would be home. I checked my hair before I got out of the car and then made my way to the front door. Sam answered my knock with a pained grimace. The dark circles under his eyes made me immediately concerned, but my thoughts left my head when Sam brought me to him, kissing me lingeringly on the lips.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey yourself," I answered back, pressing myself against him. He really was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Tall, dark, and oh so incredibly handsome! He drew me into the house, pressing me against the now closed door. His hot body made me break out into a sweat. I pushed away from him muttering "too hot" and we made our way to the living room.

"I don't understand what's going on with you anymore Sam," I said as I sat down next to him on the couch. "You feel like you're constantly running a temperature, you've been complaining that you don't feel well and your body aches, and you've hit some freakish growth spurt in the past few months. Why are you being so stubborn about seeing a doctor?"

"Who would you like me to see? Dr. Cullen?" Sam said in an exasperated tone.

I rolled my eyes in response. The moronic Elders, my father included, told everyone who listened that the Cullen family was to be avoided. They were supposedly "cold ones," part of an idiotic legend that was passed down from generation to generation.

"Please Sam, I know you place a lot of faith in the council and therefore you don't like Dr. Cullen," I said with a sigh. "But he's the most reputable doctor in Forks. Your health is a lot more important than some stupid old story. I mean, come on, there's no such thing as "cold ones." I'm really worried about you so will you please go see him?"

"I'll be fine Lee-Lee, give it a rest," Sam replied, pulling me towards him to offer a kiss meant to distract me. And of course it worked. He nibbled lightly on my bottom lip before running over it with his tongue.

Pulling away, Sam said, "Don't forget, I want to go hiking next month for our anniversary."

He cupped my face in his hands and I felt my heart speed up as I looked into his eyes. We had been dating for almost four years now. I had a sneaking suspicion that Sam was going to propose to me on our anniversary. We went into Port Angeles the other week and looked at engagement rings "just for fun." I was more excited than I could say. I loved Sam with all my heart. Although we were both going away to school together in the fall, I could think of nothing better than starting off my college life as Mrs. Sam Uley. Though Sam had graduated a couple of years ago from high school, he had spent the past two years saving money.

"Like I could forget," I responded to his comment about our anniversary. "You've only been talking about it for the past two weeks."

Hugging him close, I remembered what my mom told me about Emily. "Hey, my mom told me today that my cousin Emily's coming to town the week before our trip. We should probably take her out to eat or something before we disappear."

"Yeah, okay," Sam replied, staring at my lips. He pulled my head to him and tilted my head up before giving me another kiss. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Enough to love me forever and ever?" I asked. It was a game we played. He always said that to me and I always gave the same response. I smiled as Sam kissed my lips again.

"Hey, you read my mind," Sam responded before grabbing my hand and dragging me into his room.

He shut the door behind us and pushed me against the door. I instantly wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed against my body and I felt his hardness. He leaned in and sucked on my neck causing me to throw back my head as sensual sensation raced over my skin. I felt wetness begin to form between my legs causing me to push even harder against him.

Sam groaned in response, "Lee-Lee."

He carried me over to his bed and took off his shirt. I lay down on my back, my elbows the only thing holding me up as I admired his body for a moment. Whatever strange changes had been happening to Sam lately, this was one area that had definitely improved. Sam had always been muscular, but lately his body had formed rock hard abs. I reached up and ran my fingers along the ridges before leaning up to kiss above his belly. Getting up on my knees, I moved my head and sucked on his masculine nipple, while my fingers played with the other. My mouth drifted to the other nipple while my hands moved to his jean shorts. I unbuttoned them and undid the zipper. I pushed the shorts down and took Sam's long length in my hands. Sam moaned in response as I began to move my fingers up and down his arousal. Bending down, I tasted him with my tongue. Sam jerked and pushed my hands away.

"I need to be in you," Sam said, quickly removing my pants and underwear. He didn't hesitate before he swiftly entered me. I felt my eyes roll in my head as Sam drove into me bringing us to an explosive frenzy. I grabbed his ass, holding him inside me even as I felt him soften.

Sam kissed my face before nuzzling my neck.

"Love you…so much," Sam said softly.

I didn't respond. I didn't need too. Sam was my everything.

I didn't have any inkling that the very foundation of my world was about to be broken forever.

_A/N – Part of the dialogue in this chapter is from the first chapter of my story "First Imprint (Sam's Story)." Readers of Forbidden, I'll be updating that story in a few days. I hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year! _

_**Also, please review! Positive reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. **_

If you'd like to see the story's banner, click on my profile and you can find the link to my photobucket account.


	2. Dorothy

**Chapter Prologue**

One single call from Sam's mother Dorothy was all it took. The beginning of the end for Sam and me.

Sam had disappeared for two weeks when he first phased. When I think back to those times, I actually feel sorry for the guy…whenever I allow myself to feel any emotion whatsoever when it comes to him.

Each one of us had someone in our heads the moment we'd phased that first time. It had usually been Sam guiding us through our initial terror. In my case though, it had served as a deterrent. I hadn't been able to calm down with him in my head, reading my thoughts.

But I couldn't imagine having to go through phasing and not have someone there to help me or show me what was going on. I knew the experience had fucked Sam up for good. When he finally reappeared after those two weeks, he was always on edge and acted like he was about to burst out of his skin…literally!

I never knew why he had disappeared until I phased myself. His refusal to tell me anything after he phased had served as a catalyst that drove an even bigger stake into our already bleeding relationship. He distanced himself from me the moment he became a wolf. He put up walls that I never had a chance of toppling.

One single call…and my world began its downward spiral.

That one call was not only the beginning of the end for Sam and me; it was the beginning of my descent into my own personal hell...

**Chapter 2 – Dorothy**

Leah's POV

I was pissed. Sam and I were supposed to go out for dinner and he stood me up. I had spent over an hour getting ready, and the bastard hadn't even had the courtesy to call and cancel.

He had gone to Seattle for the day to run an errand for his mother Dorothy, but he had also done some shopping. He had outgrown all of his other clothes recently. We had talked just before he was supposed to leave for the trip back, and nothing had seemed out of the ordinary.

When 8 PM had rolled around, I'd been putting the finishing touches on getting ready for our date. I had slipped on the dress Sam loved to see me in, a strapless black number that hugged my body in all the right places. My exposed arms and legs looked fantastic. They had recently become very toned. I was going to have to cut back on running soon. I didn't want my body to get to the point that it looked muscular. I never thought bulging muscles were attractive on a woman.

At 8:30 PM, I had started to get annoyed. At 9 PM, I finally called him to find out where the hell he was. There had been no answer. At 10 PM, I was beyond furious. I changed into some comfortable jeans and paced, half tempted to go over to his house.

At 10:30 PM, Dorothy called.

"Leah, I'm sorry to call you so late," Dorothy apologized. "Is Sam there?"

"No. We were supposed to go on a date tonight, but he stood me up."

"His truck is here, but he's not," Dorothy said in a worried tone. "The door to the truck was open, and the clothes he bought today were still in the front seat. It's not like him to leave his vehicle like that."

"Look, I'm coming over," I replied, instantly worried. She was right, that wasn't typical Sam behavior. We said our goodbyes, and I grabbed my tennis shoes and headed downstairs.

"Leah, where're you going," my dad called out.

"Sam's missing," I replied.

"What do you mean Sam's missing?"

"I mean he's gone," I said impatiently. "Dorothy just called and said that his truck was left with the door wide open and his purchases from his shopping trip were on the front seat. But he's disappeared."

"I'm coming with you," my dad replied. Of course, as an Elder, it was his duty to look out for the members of the tribe…not to mention that Sam was like a son to him.

"Fine," I said.

I grabbed my keys off the hallway table. We climbed into my car and headed towards Dorothy's house. My dad made some phone calls, gathering people together to organize a search party. When we arrived at Dorothy's, a crowd was already beginning to form. We split off into groups and didn't even get 10 feet when someone yelled out my dad's name.

I ran over to Jerry Becknell whose son, Jared, attended my school.

"Look at this," he said, pointing to the ground with his flashlight.

Scattered around the forest floor was what looked like remnants of clothing and tennis shoes. What was even more horrifying was that next to the shredded material were large animal footprints that led deep into the forest.

"Oh God…Sam," Dorothy murmured, covering her mouth. I ran to her and instantly wrapped my arms around her waist in support.

"What kind of print do you think that is?" Jerry asked, pointing to it with his flashlight. "It's too big to be a wolf."

My father stared at it for a moment completely fixated.

"I need to call the other Elders," he finally mumbled, before looking at Dorothy. "I'll call Charlie Swan too and organize a more official search party."

After the grizzly discovery, we broke off into pairs again. I stayed with Dorothy as we combed through the woods, keeping in contact with the other searchers by calling out to each other. Around midnight, the search was called to a halt and was scheduled to resume again in the morning. I stayed with Dorothy the entire night, holding her as she wept against my shoulder.

Sam was her whole world. After Joshua Uley left her, she single-handedly had to raise Sam on her own without any financial assistance. It had aged her beyond her years and she always had a permanent look of being exhausted. But I knew she never regretted raising Sam or wished that her life would have turned out differently.

As soon as the night sky began to lighten, I was out combing the woods again. Charlie Swan called in the local park rangers, but there was still no trace of Sam. Days passed. My parents forced me to go back to school as I was too close to graduation. It was pointless. I couldn't concentrate, and I spent my time staring listlessly out the school windows. As soon as the final bell rang each day, I was out in the woods again searching.

At night I would toss and turn, worrying over Sam and feeling guilty for being angry with him before I knew he had disappeared. I could barely eat, my stomach always feeling uptight. And yet, I couldn't give up hope that Sam was still alive. Finally, after two weeks, the head ranger told Dorothy and me the solemn news.

"I'm sorry ma'am," the ranger said to Dorothy. "But we're going to have to call off the search. It's been two weeks and we haven't been able to find a trace of your son."

"But the tracks…" Dorothy cried. "We found those strange tracks right near his footprints and clothes. If a wolf or bear got my son, surely we would have found some sort of evidence."

"Please, you can't call off the search," I begged as tears streamed down my face.

"I'm sorry, but after two weeks it's standard that we call off a recovery mission," the man explained before looking at Dorothy. "Ma'am, I'm going to need you to come with me to fill out some paperwork."

They both left the woods. I stared into the dark, damp forest. I refused to believe he was dead. Sobs began to wrack my body.

Covering my face with my hands, I begged, "Sam, please come back to me. Please find a way home."

Pulling myself together, I went back home where I laid down on my bed, completely exhausted but unable to sleep. I had been staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours when I heard the phone ring. The sudden sound of someone running quickly up the stairs greeted my ears, before my mother burst into the room with a wide smile on her face.

"It's Dorothy," my mom said, handing me the phone. My heart sped up in nervous anticipation.

"Hello," I said.

"Sam's here! He's here Leah," Dorothy said exuberantly.

"What? When? How?"

"He showed up shortly after the rangers left," Dorothy explained.

"I'm on my way over," I said, disconnecting the call before she could say anything else. I ran to my car and hopped in, speeding all the way to the Uley house. Dorothy opened the front door as soon as she heard me pull up.

"He's sleeping," she told me once I got out of my car. I looked at her face carefully. There was relief there, but I could also see an unhealthy amount of worry as well.

"Did he say anything?" I asked.

"No," Dorothy replied. "He collapsed in my arms as soon as I opened the door. I had to help him into his bed. He was out in seconds."

"What aren't you telling me?" I asked.

"He…looks different…older…much closer to 30 than 20. He also looks like he hasn't eaten in the entire time he's been gone. And he has a very high fever, much worse than what he had before he disappeared. Before he fell asleep I asked him if he needed to go to the hospital, and he insisted that he was fine and just wanted to sleep."

She looked so conflicted, I gave her a reassuring pat.

"Can I take a look at him?" I asked, already headed to his room. I didn't wait for an answer as I pushed open the door.

Dorothy hadn't been exaggerating. Sam looked terrible. His long hair was matted with leaves, mud, and twigs. His cheekbones stuck out promptly in a way that showed how truly undernourished he'd become over the past two weeks. But it was his face that startled me. He did in fact look like he'd aged 10 years in two weeks. Over the course of the past year, his face had really matured and his body had developed muscles, but now I could barely see traces of the boy I had fallen in love with.

I reached out and touched his forehead and immediately drew my hand back. It felt like I had scorched myself on his skin. His constant temperature before he disappeared was nothing compared to how ridiculously hot he was now. I made a mental note to discuss this with my mom, who was a nurse, as soon as I got home.

"What do you think?" Dorothy whispered.

"I don't know what to think," I said in shock. I leaned down and lightly brushed my lips against his. If nothing else, I needed to reassure myself that he was in fact in this bed and sleeping. The blistering heat that touched my mouth assured me of that fact.

"I'm going to set up watch," Dorothy said, pointing to a chair she had set up in the corner of the room. I grabbed it and set it down next to the bed.

"I'll take the first shift," I said, getting comfortable.

Dorothy shook her head before smiling at me. "Sam is lucky to have you Leah."

Over the next two days, Sam barely stirred. I was forced to leave his side again to attend school. It was on the second day that Dorothy called to tell me that Sam seemed to be stirring and more active. I ditched school and rushed over to their house. I knocked on the door and Dorothy answered it with a bemused look on her face.

"Leah," she said. "Come on in."

"Is he awake?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen eating."

"Did he say anything yet?"

"Only that he saw his father in Seattle, and when he got back he went for a walk in the woods and got lost," his mother whispered.

"Sam got lost in the woods?" I replied in a disbelieving tone. "Sam knows this area better than anyone."

"Well, that's what he said, and I didn't want to push him. He's so tired that when I tried to get more out of him he started shaking."

We walked into the kitchen and I froze. The Sam before me was someone I didn't know. His beautifully long hair was gone. In its place was a shaved head. Sam was finishing off a pie as though he had never tasted food before. He reminded me of a starving dog suddenly handed a treat by a kind stranger.

"You couldn't even save me a piece?" Dorothy teased her son lightly.

"Sorry Mom," Sam replied and I almost jumped. Even his voice was different, much deeper than it was before.

"Well, now that you're up and moving around, I'm going to head over to the office," Dorothy said, kissing Sam on the forehead before saying, "No forest today please. I don't think my nerves can take it."

"Sure, no problem Ma," Sam replied. Dorothy smiled and left the kitchen.

"So…" Sam said, looking at me awkwardly. That one casual word was enough to make me lose it.

"So! So! Is that all you can say? What the hell happened to you? Do you have any idea how frantic we were? You disappear off the face of the planet and all we found were animal prints near what was left of your clothes. We thought something had killed you. We had forest rangers looking for your dead body. Search parties were combing the woods for you for days."

"I'm sorry," Sam replied, getting up from his chair. He made a motion to hug me but I pushed him away.

"What happened to you?" I asked angrily.

"I went for a walk in the woods. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and before I knew it, I was in a place I wasn't familiar with. I didn't find my way back until a few days ago."

"Okay, so how do you explain how your clothes ended up in a shredded mess near the edge of the forest? Why do you look like you've been to hell and back? Seriously Sam, you look like you're 10 years older than you are. And why, _WHY_ did you cut your hair?"

"I was lost in the woods for two weeks, how do you think I should look?" He asked in an exhausted tone. "As for my hair, by the time I found my way back home it was beyond fixing so I chopped it. I don't know about the clothes…maybe they're from some laundry I left out to air dry and a squirrel got a hold of them."

He seemed pleased with himself for coming up with such a bullshit story. Maybe hospitalization wasn't such a bad idea.

"You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" I stated condescendingly.

"Well you're going to have to," Sam snapped, suddenly becoming angry.

His hands began to shake. I had never seen him look so close to losing it, and we'd had some vicious fights before, both being as hot-headed as we were. Sam took off into his room and I followed closely behind.

"Sam, I'm trying to understand what's going on with you," I said in a pacifying tone.

"Look, I told you what happened and that's it. I'm done explaining this to you."

My back straightened with indignation. He's done explaining, so that's it? He was full of delusional shit if he thought I was going to just let this lie.

Sam obviously understood I was about to start a bigger fight than what we were having right now, because he said, "To hell with this, I'm going to work."

"Now?" I couldn't believe he was walking away from our conversation.

"Yes, now," Sam retorted, slamming the front door as he exited and leaving me in his house.

I made my way back to school. As soon as my classes were done for the day, and I knew Sam would be home from work, I ran over to his house to see him. Dorothy greeted me and told me that Sam had been called into a meeting with the Elders. What the hell did they want with him? Probably to find out where he'd been. I went back home and waited for Sam to call me. He never did. When my dad got home later that night, he refused to give me any details regarding the Elders' meeting with Sam.

Over the next three months, Sam became distant. He moved out of his mother's house and got his own place. He also withdrew his admission to the college we had planned on attending without telling me. That discovery led to another horrible fight.

And if I thought he was moody before, it was nothing compared to how he was now. Just the slightest thing would make him shake. Anytime that happened, he would take off running.

What especially pissed me off was that he wouldn't explain where he had disappeared to during those two weeks no matter how many times I asked him. If I pushed too far, trembling ensued. Because we were at the point where we were constantly fighting, his shaking happened on a frequent basis.

We also never had sex anymore. He always said he had things to do at night, but when I would inquire as to what those activities were, he would get snappy. I complained about his behavior to my parents. My mother looked worried. My dad became instantly defensive and said he was "doing his duty" to the tribe and instructed me to ease off of Sam.

Neither my dad nor Sam would elaborate and tell me what was going on, which made the tension between Sam and myself even more unbearable. Rumors began to circulate that Sam had gotten into drugs and was selling them on the side. I knew that Sam would never do that. He always had little patience when it came to drug users. And yet, his strange behavior seemed to merit that type of gossip.

The final straw came right before I graduated. I had been looking forward to us going out on our four year anniversary hiking trip. I had even bought some seductive lingerie to wear when we were in our tent. Sam came over after I got back from the store with my purchases.

"I'm sorry Lee-Lee. I'm going to need to cancel," Sam said.

"Why?" I asked waspishly.

"I've got tribal business I need to take care of," Sam muttered.

"Fuck the tribe," I snapped. "What about us?"

"You know Leah, sometimes there's a bigger picture going on if you take the time to look past yourself," Sam remarked angrily.

"So what are you trying to accuse me of…being self-centered?"

"No," Sam said, running a now trembling hand across his hair. It had only recently started to grow out. Sighing tiredly, Sam said, "Look, I gotta go."

"Duty calls," I remarked petulantly.

"Yeah," Sam replied, leaning in to kiss my lips. I turned my head and he ended up kissing my cheek instead. "I know you don't understand, but I love you Leah."

He turned back and started walking away.

"Sam," I called out. He paused and looked back at me. "If you can spare the time, my parents are planning on giving me a graduation dinner in a couple of weeks. My cousin Emily will be there. It'd be nice if you could make an appearance and introduce yourself."

"Sure," Sam responded before heading out into the darkness of the night.

As we got closer to Emily's arrival and my graduation day, I began to feel optimistic. If nothing else, at least I was going to be done with school soon. My graduation came and went. Sam actually showed up and cheered the loudest when I received my diploma.

Finally, Saturday arrived and I began to help my mom prepare the room Emily was going to be using. I couldn't wait to see her again and introduce her to Sam.

Big mistake.

_A/N – Part of this chapter is from my story "First Imprint." Okay, I wasn't sure about this chapter, but I've never read a story before that shows Leah's POV of Sam's disappearance. Let me know what you thought. If you want to see a picture of Dorothy, please check out my profile page for the link to my photobucket account. Once you get redirected, click on the "Absent Imprint Chapter Banners" album. _

_**If you're interested in reading more of this story, please review. Otherwise, I'm not going to continue with it.**_


	3. Emily

_A/N - I had trouble loading this chapter. If it looks funny, let me know and I'll repost it once the site fixes its issues._

**Chapter Prologue**

In my life, I've witnessed several people imprint. I was there when Quil imprinted on my two-year-old cousin Claire. Through the windows of the Cullen house, I watched as Jacob went from a towering inferno of rage to silly putty in the matter of seconds when he looked into Renesmee's eyes for the first time. I witnessed my brother Seth imprint (he still holds the record for "Imprint Most Likely to Appear on Jerry Springer"…but I'll get into his story later). And I, unfortunately, had a front row seat when Sam imprinted on Emily.

Not that I knew what had happened at the time. Neither did Sam for that matter. Like many things in the pack, Sam was the first to go through the experience. I guess you could say his imprint was the blueprint for all other wolves. He had no idea what had happened to him when he looked into Emily's eyes that day. My father ended up having to be the one to explain things to him.

At least when the others imprinted, they had an inkling of what was up. Anytime Sam was in wolf form and his thoughts would inevitably drift to Emily, the entire pack felt like they'd imprinted on her too. Hell, even _I_ had to feel his bond to her. Not only that, but nothing in the pack is private. I had to relive intimate conversations he'd had with her. I had to see Sam having sex with Emily from his point of view. Talk about fucked up!

(Just as a side note…you know how they say guys think about sex all the time? It's totally true. If I were into women, I might have enjoyed having nonstop porn playing in my head any time I patrolled with one of the guys. As it was, it took me the longest time before I could look Jared's wife Kim in the face. Seriously, those two hump like rabbits. And I once got into a fight with Jake before he imprinted because he wouldn't stop thinking about a kiss he'd shared with Bella Swan…but I digress.)

Anytime I was in Sam's head, somewhere Emily always lurked…though he tried so hard not to think about her when I was sharing his brain. It was impossible of course. He couldn't stop thinking about her anymore than he could stop breathing.

It took me years to get over that…to let go of the justifiable anger I felt. But I realized something, and I probably wouldn't have come to this realization if I hadn't fallen so deeply in love with my own husband. As much as it still kills a part of me to admit, Sam and Emily are perfect for each other.

I know…what the fuck are you talking about Leah, right?

Here's the only way I can describe Sam and Emily…and you'll have to forgive my moment of cheesiness. Have you ever seen those sculptures of the sun and the moon, where half of the face is the sun and the other half is the moon? That's Emily and Sam. They're two halves of a perfect whole. Emily is the sun that Sam revolves around. She's the very life force that keeps him going and gives him strength. If anything ever happened to Emily, I know that Sam would follow her soon after. He simply can't live without her. And Sam is Emily's moon; the beacon of light that led Emily through the darkest times of her life, whether it was the scarring he himself caused, my father's death, the sadness of what happened to their child, or even my own wrath.

Personality wise though, Sam has always been like the sun…a ball of fire that sometimes spontaneously bursts out. And Emily's always been the moon…cool and calm. Like I said, they're perfectly matched.

It took me a very long time to get to the point where I could think of either one of them in such glowing terms. Trust me, it didn't happen overnight. There was a time that I hated the very air Emily breathed. I knew she was attracted to Sam even before he imprinted on her. The few times they'd met before he became a wolf, I'd sometimes catch her watching him. Not that she ever acted on her feelings.

As for Sam, to be honest I still don't care for him, even to this day. We'll never be able to be "buddies." Too much shit happened between us. Romantically speaking, if he hadn't imprinted, I seriously doubted we'd still be together. Sam and I are just too alike…too hot-tempered. We might have ended up married, but we would have also ended up divorced.

Sam had once told Seth and me that imprinting was a gift. He regretted that I was hurt…he'd been miserable about it in fact. But he never once regretted falling in love with Emily. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he believed he and Emily would have ended up together even without the imprint. It would have just taken him longer to find her. And that thought hurt me more than anything else. It caused irrevocable damage to my self-esteem, knowing that after spending four years of my life committed to the man, he still would have chosen Emily over me, with or without the imprint.

So no, I'll never be friends with Sam again. There's too much water under our proverbial bridge. His rejection devastated me. And I'd hurt Sam when I chose Jacob's pack over his. Not that he'd had a desire to have me in his pack. His response was more from being an Alpha.

There's nothing more powerful than an Alpha's dislike for another Alpha. Whether the two guys are friends or not, if two wolves are given that particular power and they're around each other, bloodshed can ensue. Sam's Alpha ego had felt betrayed when Seth and I defected to join Jake's pack. But I had been so eager to get out of Sam's head, I didn't hesitate to leave him. We all suffered though. Sam lost pack members and credibility. And I ended up having to protect a bunch of wreaking bloodsuckers. None of us were happy…well, maybe Seth was. Sometimes I wonder how I even became related to him.

You know what's really ironic? I actually think out of all of us, Emily was the one who ended up the worst off in the end. Sure she got Sam and she eventually got me back too, but she'll always bear the scars of loving a wolf for the rest of her life. My little teenage heart got broken, but I moved on to someone better. Emily will always be physically damaged. People will always stare at her face in horror.

Not only that, but before she and Sam got involved, I had never hid anything from her. I told her every intimate detail of my life with Sam. It had to be hard for her knowing that Sam had been mine first. Sam and I lost our virginities to each other. I told her all sorts of sordid stuff that girls tell one another. Things that if any of my husband's exes ever told me, I could guarantee the end result would be me putting them in the hospital.

Now I know what you're thinking.

_Leah, you're a hypocrite. How can you still be so unforgiving towards Sam and so tolerant of Emily? _

Haven't you ever wondered why I agreed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding? I'll tell you what made me forgive Emily. I saw something in Sam's mind the day I phased for the first time.

Sam shared a conversation with Seth and me…a horrible memory he still lives over and over again every time he looks at Emily's damaged face.

It's of the day he scarred her. Their conversation went something like this…

_"Listen, I need to tell you something. It's about you and me," Sam had told Emily._

_"There is no you and me," Emily had responded forcefully before turning to leave. Sam grabbed her and pulled her to him. _

_"You don't understand Emily, I love you."_

(She then gave Sam a look of complete disgust…I've never been prouder of Em…honestly, I didn't even think she had it in her.)

_"You love me," Emily scoffed as she'd tried to push Sam away. "Just like you loved Leah?"_

(Good for you Em! See…I knew we were related! It's like she was channeling me or my brother here. We both take pride in our sarcastic abilities. P.S. I'm talking about my other brother, not Seth. Seth wouldn't know sarcasm if it jumped up and bit him on the ass.)

_"No, please you have to listen to me...we're meant to be together," Sam had pleaded. _

_"No Sam, leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you, don't you get that? I could never be with a guy who treated my cousin like you did. I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE, SAM. I NEVER WILL!" _

In Sam's defense, he had only been a wolf for a few months at that point. He didn't have the control he learned in later years. Poor Em…Sam was holding her when she told him that and Sam fucking lost it. He couldn't let go of her fast enough before he erupted into the fluffy beast that lurked inside him.

So why did I forgive Emily so easily? Because she almost died…and it was all because of me. She had tried so hard to resist Sam, even though I knew she must have felt their connection. Imprintees are just as addicted to their imprinters as the wolves are to their mates. Sam could have easily killed her that day. He would have killed himself if he'd succeeded. If Emily hadn't gone to talk to Sam after she'd gotten out of the hospital, he probably _would_ have died. He was suicidal at that point.

I'd thought Emily had "stolen" Sam from me until I phased that first time and saw Sam's memory. I had treated her like absolute shit until I saw what had really taken place that day. Emily didn't simply come in and "steal" Sam as I'd believed. She had fought the imprint…fought for me, and she almost died because of it.

But I didn't understand any of that until I saw what really happened that day. From the minute Sam imprinted until the moment I first phased, I had only one goal. And that was to destroy Sam and make Emily suffer…

**Chapter 3 – Emily **

Leah's POV

"Leah," my mom shouted. "Emily's here."

Smiling, I ran down the stairs just as my dad and cousin entered the front door, my dad carrying Emily's suitcase.

"Em!" I shouted, running over to hug her tightly. I heard her make a little "oof" noise, and I loosened my hold.

"Hey Lee," Emily laughed, hugging me back.

"C'mon, I have so much to talk to you about," I told her, grabbing her hand and dragging her up to my room.

"Em, I'm going to put your suitcase in the guest bedroom," my dad called out.

"Thanks Uncle Harry," Emily managed to get out before I shut my bedroom door.

"Oh Em, I'm so glad you're here," I told her, throwing myself across my bed. "Everything has been such a mess lately."

"Yeah, I know you said you and Sam were having some problems since he'd disappeared," Emily said, sitting down next to me on the bed. "Have there been any improvements lately?"

"Well, he came to my graduation a couple of days ago, and he's supposed to come over tonight, but otherwise no…nothing's improved. He still refuses to tell me where he went for those two weeks. He's so secretive all the time anymore and he always looks exhausted. I can't help but wonder if maybe he's gotten into drugs like everyone's been saying."

"I doubt that," Emily replied, shaking her head. "I don't know him that well, but he doesn't seem the type."

I looked over and noticed the faint tinge of red on my cousin's cheeks. I decided to change the subject.

"So what about you and Jeremy? Are you two still dating?"

"No," Emily replied. "We broke up right before graduation."

Emily only had two boyfriends throughout high school. I don't think either relationship went farther than the groping stage.

Still, I had to ask, "Did you nail him?"

"Leah!" Emily retorted, her face bright red.

"Em, it's nothing to be ashamed of if you had sex. This isn't the dark ages you know. Sam and I used to have sex all the time before he went psycho."

"Yeah, I know," Emily muttered. "I don't care if it's old fashion. I'm not going to sleep with someone until I know he's the one for me."

Shaking my head, I mockingly said, "You should have been a housewife in the 50s Em. That decade is far more suited for you."

Emily shrugged. "Maybe that's true, but I know what I want. Sleeping around with a bunch of guys isn't the answer for me."

We moved on to other topics from there as we got caught up. Emily was going to spend the summer with us working in my dad's store while she tried to figure out if she wanted to go to college. I'd planned on going to the University of Washington with Sam, but since he recently announced he wasn't planning on going to school anymore, I was thinking about enrolling at the local community college.

My jaw clenched at that thought. Sam seemed to be throwing away all our plans lately. I'd been convinced he was going to propose to me after I graduated, but there hadn't been a peep out of him in that department. He'd also recently cancelled our anniversary hiking trip, which caused us to get into a huge fight. One of many nowadays. Sam always looked like he was about to explode whenever we fought anymore, but a part of me didn't care. He was completely disregarding my feelings and I was getting tired of his bullshit.

I shifted my thoughts to something more positive. Tonight was my celebratory graduation dinner. It was just going to be my parents, Seth, Emily, Sam, and me, but I was determined to have a fun, relaxing time. After a couple of hours of gossiping with Emily, she went off to her room to unpack. I changed into one of my favorite dresses and sprayed on a perfume I knew Sam liked.

My father, Emily, and I were talking in the living room when I heard a knock on the front door. I excitedly went to answer it. Sam greeted me with a tired smile on his face.

"You look beautiful," Sam said, eyeing me up and down.

"Thanks," I replied, leaning in to kiss him. "C'mon, Emily's here. She just arrived a few hours ago."

I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the living room. "Emily, you remember Sam, right?"

Emily smiled and said, "It's nice to see you again, Sam."

When Sam didn't reply, I glanced at his face. He looked completely stunned, his mouth hanging open. He was staring at Emily in a way that made me want to lunge across the room and rip her face off. In all the years we'd been dating, Sam had never looked at me like that. It was as though she had suddenly become the only thing he could see. I saw Emily shift uncomfortably under his gaze. My father's eyes narrowed on Sam's face. I could feel my blood pressure rising and my hands begin to shake.

"Sam," I said impatiently.

He looked over at me in confusion and my heart dropped to my knees. He didn't even seem to recognize me. Sam didn't say anything, before he turned to look back at Emily. He seemed hypnotized, as though he were under some strange spell. Emily glanced nervously from me to him before she excused herself to go help my mom in the kitchen. Sam looked like he was going to follow her, but my dad grabbed his arm and insisted that they go for a walk.

Sam was very quiet once they returned. Dinner ended up being a complete disaster. Sam didn't stop looking at Emily the entire night. Emily tried her best to ignore him, but it's kind of hard when the person's sitting across from you. I sat in complete silence, stabbing the food on my plate imagining it was Sam's face. I had never been so humiliated in my life. My graduation dinner had turned into a fucking joke and my boyfriend was acting like he'd recently had a lobotomy. When the meal was finally over, Sam asked me to go for a walk.

"Well, thanks for coming over tonight," I said furiously. "I really appreciated how you ignored me and embarrassed yourself over my cousin."

"Leah…" was all he said and I suddenly knew. My heart stopped beating for a moment before it burst painfully.

"So, that's it? It's over?" I said, trying very hard not to cry.

"I'm sorry…" he replied. "I'm so sorry."

"Why…why are you doing this? Is it because of Emily?" I asked. He didn't respond, but I knew from the guilty expression on his face that I was right.

"But you…" I couldn't say anything for a second due to the large lump in my throat. "But you hardly even know her."

"I'm sorry," Sam repeated softly yet with a permanency I couldn't deny.

I finally gave into the tears I could no longer contain. I covered my face with my hands and began to sob. Sam reached for me, pulling me close and I lost it.

"You bastard," I yelled, punching him repeatedly on his chest. "You promised you'd love me forever. You promised!"

I hit him until I finally collapsed against his chest.

Sam pressed his cheek to my hair and responded with emotion straining his voice, "Please, Leah…I don't want to hurt you."

And yet he did. Anger like I'd never felt before coursed through me. My body began to shake slightly as I felt a strange heat running along my spine. Looking at him with more hatred than I ever thought it was possible to feel, I called him a bastard right before I punched him in the face as hard as I could. Pain ricocheted through my hand, but I felt immense satisfaction as I watched Sam stumble back, almost landing on his ass.

I turned and ran to my house, flinging open the front door dramatically before racing up the stairs to my room. I threw myself across the bed, lying on my stomach as I began to ball my eyes out. A few minutes later there was a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Lee," Emily called out. "Can I come in?"

I only sobbed harder which Emily seemed to take as consent to enter my domain.

"You okay?" She asked, coming to sit on the bed and rubbing my back in soothing circles.

I shook my head. "Sam and I broke up."

"Oh Lee…" Emily said, leaning down to rest her head against my back in comfort.

"I don't understand Em," I cried, rolling over to face her. "We just went to look at engagement rings a few months ago. I was so sure he was going to propose to me. Who does that? Who gets someone's hopes up like that and then dumps them?"

"Did he say why?" Emily wondered.

I stared at her and felt instant loathing begin to consume me. I tried to reason with myself. It wasn't Emily's fault after all. She hadn't done anything. But maybe she had stared at him one too many times before tonight. Maybe she gave him some kind of fucking come-on that I didn't know about. I wanted to lash out at her, but I forced myself to remain calm. There was the expression, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. No matter how unreasonable it was, I blamed Emily entirely for what happened tonight. She acted so innocent, but underneath it all, she was a lying, deceitful _bitch!_

"No, he didn't say anything. Just that he wanted to end our relationship," I replied to her question, trying to hide my fury. If I couldn't be with Sam, he sure as fuck wasn't going to end up with my cousin.

"Em, he's such a user. He used me for sex and once he got that he decided to move on," I told her tearfully.

"I'm sure that wasn't it," Emily said sympathetically. She could take her sympathy and shove it up her ass.

"So are you saying it's my fault?" I screeched.

"No, of course not. B-but you said that he was doing business for the tribe. Maybe it's the pressure of his new job or something. I'm sure once things calm down for him, he'll try to get back together with you."

"Do you think so?" I asked, stupidly feeling hope rush through me.

"Of course I do. The few times I've met Sam, he's always seemed crazy about you." Emily said assuredly, giving me a hug and my emotions did a complete 180.

Emily wasn't an evil, boyfriend stealer. She was my sister. She spent the rest of the night in my room, hugging me whenever I cried, or we'd discuss what I would say when Sam came crawling back to me.

The next morning we got up early to go for a walk on the beach. Emily went outside first to do some stretches. I was about to join her when I glanced out the front window and froze. Sam was standing in the woods, watching Emily like some crazed psychopath. I quickly ran outside but he had already disappeared.

"You ready?" Emily asked, completely unaware of Sam's stalking.

"Yeah," I replied, feeling my heart break all over again as I thought about the pained longing I had witnessed on Sam's face as he'd stared at Emily. He certainly wasn't going to be crawling back to me anytime soon. I stewed as we made our way to First Beach and began to walk along the rocky shore. Fuck him!

"I just don't know what got into Sam last night," I said to Emily, beginning my agenda to destroy the bastard. "Maybe he's into drugs as everyone keeps saying. It would certainly explain his erratic behavior."

I glanced around. I had the strangest feeling we were being watched.

"Sam doesn't seem the type to use drugs," Emily said almost defensively. "I'm sure he'll come around Leah."

"I hope so for his sake," I remarked, before adding casually, "I don't know many women who'd put up with his sexual deviancies."

"Oh?" Emily asked, her face turning red.

"Mmhmm," I replied. "Sam's really into some kinky stuff. Let's just say he likes it rough."

I almost laughed as Emily practically tripped. What I said about Sam wasn't exactly true. I mean, sometimes the sex was rough, but I'd never objected once. In fact, I was sometimes the instigator.

I looked at Emily as she stared at the ground with wide eyes. If there was one way to scare off a virgin, it was to point out the seedier sides of sex. I needed to make sure she knew how completely incompatible she was with Sam.

"I mean in the bedroom department, we were a perfect match," I went on to say. "Now take someone like you…"

"What?" Emily asked, her face turning even redder.

"I mean, let's face it Em, you're a sweetie. You need someone who's gentle in the bedroom. Sam likes adventure. Someone who doesn't mind doing it from behind while their body is plastered against a tree."

Just remembering that day made me shudder with desire.

"I…I can be adventurous," Emily muttered and I became instantly infuriated.

"So you _want_ to have sex with Sam?" I snapped.

"No, of course not," Emily replied instantly, looking like she wished she'd never spoken in the first place.

"Then why did you say that?" I asked suspiciously.

"All I meant was that just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I'm a nun," Emily replied bravely. "But I have no desire to have sex with Sam."

Seconds later we heard a howl in the distance that made us both jump. We had wolves in the area, but none ever sounded that close before. We decided to head back to my house.

My dad began to train Emily in the store later that day. I barely left her side as I began my campaign which I nicknamed, "Operation Destroy Sam." I continued to tell Emily every horrible habit and fault Sam had. A few nights after the breakup I was expounding on Sam's lack of respect for women in general. Most of it was bullshit, but I didn't care.

"All Sam wants is a little wifey to take care of," I told my family as we ate dinner. "It's like the feminist movement never happened. Sam has no respect for the independent woman."

My dad slammed his hand on the table. "Leah, that's enough. I know you're angry with Sam, but now you're just slandering him."

His eyes briefly settled on Emily before he looked at me and said, "Sam has nothing but the highest respect for women as you very well know. He was raised by an independent, single woman."

"Whose side are you on?" I snapped. "Sam dumped me, Dad!"

"I understand that and I know you're upset," my dad replied wearily. "But Sam is a good kid who's been doing a lot for the reservation lately. You've spent more than enough of this week reassuring us all of his faults. Did you ever consider that perhaps he's hurting too?"

"This is ridiculous!" I yelled, getting up from the table and running to my room.

I felt betrayed all over again and couldn't stop the bitter tears from running down my cheeks. My dad had always been my biggest supporter. Now he was acting like Sam was a fucking saint! There was a knock on my door which I ignored. My father entered a few seconds later.

"Leah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he apologized. "I love Sam as though he were my son, but you're my flesh and blood. Your breakup has been hard on the entire family, but I hope you know that I'll always support you first."

I curled up in a ball on my bed and didn't respond. My dad sighed and sat down next to me.

"Listen, your mother and I have been talking and we think it's best if you take a break from the Rez for awhile. How does a month in California sound?"

"What?" I asked, sitting up. "Dad, I don't want to go away."

"Lee…he's not coming back to you, honey," my dad replied with such conviction I wanted to start crying again.

"I know that," I whispered.

My dad cupped the side of my face. "I love you with all my heart. It kills me to see you so miserable. That's why I think you need this break. Consider it a belated graduation present from your mom and me."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not going."

"I think you've managed to convince Emily that Sam is the spawn of the devil, if that's what you're worried about," my dad said dryly. He didn't look too happy about that fact either.

"Dad, it's not that…" It was a lie of course. That was exactly what I was worried about.

"Leah, I've never asked much from you. I'm asking you to do this. I think it's the best thing for you, I really do. And they say absence makes the heart grow fonder…"

"You think Sam will miss me if I go away?" I asked, suddenly hopeful.

"I didn't say that," my father replied immediately. "I just think you'll be able to move on if you take a break from La Push."

But I wasn't listening. My mind was already filled with images of returning back to La Push and Sam running to me, begging for a second chance. I could just picture him with tears in his eyes as he pleaded with me to never leave him again.

With those thoughts burgeoning in my head, I agreed to go on the trip. My parents drove me to the airport in Seattle a few days later and I flew out to California. I stayed with my mom's cousin and her family. They owned a vineyard which I helped out on. The weeks went by slowly though. All I wanted to do was go home…to get back to Sam.

I called every few days to talk to everyone. Emily always kept the conversation light, asking me about life in California. My parents always made sure to find out if I was happy or not. Seth was the most informative. He told me that Sam had begun to stop by the store anytime Emily worked. He usually came in twice a day, but from what Seth told me, Emily usually ignored him.

Seth also told me that Sam had been spotted around the Rez with Jared Becknell and Paul Wakeh a lot recently. Seth mentioned that people were gossiping about how big all three boys seemed to be anymore. People were convinced they were on drugs. Since Sam had nothing in common with those two and I don't even think he'd talked to them before, I had to truly wonder if Sam had gotten himself mixed into something illegal.

Finally, it was the weekend I was supposed to return to La Push. I spent my evening packing, though I wasn't flying out for a couple of days still. The next day, I got a call from my mom. Apparently Emily had been walking in the woods and was attacked by a bear. The damage had been extensive according to my mother. Emily had cracked a few ribs and her right shoulder had been ripped apart. My mom also said that Emily had damage to almost the entire right side of her body from her face to her hand. I had wanted to fly home immediately, but my dad got on the line and told me to take the flight I'd originally planned. Emily was heavily sedated and wouldn't even know if I was there anyway. After I got done talking to my parents, I got on the phone with my brother Seth. He gave me one more detail that my parents neglected to tell me.

Emily had been out with Sam when she got injured. Not only that, but he had taken her to _our_ spot. The place we were going to go hiking for our anniversary. It was the place where we'd had sex for the first time.

For the next day, I paced around my room until finally it was time for me to leave for home. I tried not to feel too betrayed by Emily going out with Sam, but I couldn't help it. As soon as I got back to Washington, I met my mom and she took me straight to the hospital where Emily was admitted. My dad hugged me as soon as he saw me.

"Don't disturb Emily if she's sleeping. She just woke up from being heavily sedated a few hours ago," my dad ordered. "She needs to take it easy right now."

I nodded before opening the door and letting myself into Emily's room. I held back the hiss of breath I wanted to release as I examined her face. Emily had once been beautiful. Now she had three angry lines that ran down the side of her cheek. Her right eye drooped along with the side of her mouth. She looked hideous. What made me feel even sicker was that a tiny part of me was glad. Perhaps Sam would be so turned off that he'd forget all about her now. I felt instantly ashamed by those thoughts. Emily turned her head and her good eye widened once she saw it was me.

"Hey Em," I said. "I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier. My dad told me not to change my flight since you were pretty much comatose and only really woke up today. How are you feeling?"

"Okay," she murmured quietly.

"Seth said you went hiking and you were attacked at Pìpíkcha waterfall," I remarked, trying to keep my anger out of my voice. Emily looked at me with dead eyes before she rolled on her back to stare blankly at the ceiling.

"Don't worry Leah, I got exactly what I deserved," she replied lifelessly.

"Leah!" My father's voice rang out across the room. He had obviously heard my question and Emily's emotionless response.

"I'm really sorry you got hurt, Em," I told her, squeezing her undamaged hand before leaving.

Emily was released from the hospital a couple of weeks later. Instead of coming back to our house though, she moved in with Sam. When I found out, Emily and I got into a vicious fight. I'd made sure to remind her that she would never be enough woman for Sam. I taunted her with the fact that I'd been in his bed first, that she was basically getting my sloppy seconds. It wasn't pretty. And Emily didn't fight back. She just stood there with pathetic tears in her eyes. Knowing that her actions were slowing destroying me didn't stop her from moving in with Sam though. For the next few months, we didn't speak to each other.

It took a tragedy to bring Emily and I back together. About five months after Emily moved in with Sam, they got engaged. When I heard the news, I freaking lost it. Hearing that the love of my life was about to marry my cousin had been too much for me. I ended up phasing for the first time that day.

The events of that day would stay with me for the rest of my life…

Because my first time phasing was the reason my father suffered his fatal heart attack.

_A/N – Don't think too poorly of Sam and Emily. If you haven't read my story "First Imprint," please make sure you check it out. The PG-13 version is on this site. The M version is on twilighted(dot)net (though that one is still in progress)._

_Also, I want to thank everyone who took a moment to review the previous chapters. I understand that several things work against Absent. For one thing, Leah doesn't end up with Jacob, Sam, or Embry as almost 95% of all Leah fics show. Secondly, she eventually falls in love with an ordinary guy…he's not a vampire or wolf from another pack, he's extraordinarily normal. Third, Leah doesn't imprint...she falls in love under normal circumstances. _

_The reason I wanted to write this story was to show you something different for once. This is Leah's journey from teenager to wife. It's not an all human story…it's about a wolf trying to find her place in the world, especially as Leah has always seemed lost to me. She doesn't know where she fits in. _

_Also, please check out my latest one shot if you haven't done so already. It's about Paul and Rachel. The story is called "Apologetic Imprint (Paul's POV). And check out my profile page regarding a poll for my next story._


	4. Seth

_A/N – Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had to post the epilogue of Forbidden before I could write anymore of Leah's story. _

* * *

**Chapter Prologue **

In recent history, there have only been three wolves that didn't fully embrace their wolf side.

Sam never wanted to be a wolf. The fact that he had to go through his first time phasing by himself without any help or guidance from anyone was horrifying for him. Especially when he later found out that the Elders had read the signs of his changing before he ever became a wolf and never gave him a warning. Sam ended up suffering two weeks of hell by himself, unable to phase back, because he didn't know what was going on. I think to this day, he's still scarred by that experience. The only joy Sam ever found in being a wolf was imprinting on Emily.

Same thing with Jacob. Jake never wanted to be a wolf. He fought against his fate, the pack, and mostly Sam. It took once glance into the eyes of my favorite little mutant, before he became truly grateful for the curse he was given. Thanks to his inner wolf, he's going to be able to live an immortal existence with his imprint by his side. (Oh and don't read anything into me calling Renesmee a mutant. It's a term of affection, pure and simple. I love that little shit though I'd never admit it, and if you ever repeat what I said to anyone, I'll deny it.)

And then there was me. I hated being a wolf. From the moment it happened, I hated every single second of it. Well…I take that back. I liked being Jacob's beta. You can bet your sweet ass I rubbed that fact into everyone's face. Especially when Quil and Embry joined our pack. Being named Jacob's second meant the world to me and gave me back some much needed confidence that I'd lost after Sam imprinted.

But on the flip side, there were two wolves who embraced being a wolf like no one's business.

Quil Ateara loved being a wolf. Before he first phased, Jake and Embry had avoided him as they were in the pack and he wasn't. They had to remain distant to protect him. When Quil became a wolf, he got his boys back. And then he imprinted on my cousin Claire, so yeah, things worked out well for him.

The other pack member who happily accepted his wolfiness was my brother Seth. Seth and I phased on the same day. What are the chances, right? In a nutshell, I overheard my dad tell my mom that Sam and Emily had gotten engaged. I fucking lost it, phased right in the house, lunged at my dad, and Seth phased to stop me. And thus, two new wolves were created in one day.

I love my brother dearly, and I've always been grateful that he was there to stop me from physically attacking my parents that day. I'd say that if Seth had one major fault when we were younger, it was that he was always so annoyingly happy. I mean, how many idiots do you know who'd willingly hang out with vampires and become "friends" with them? When our mother married Charlie Swan, Seth had been over the moon because that meant Edward Cullen, his BFF, was now his stepbrother-in-law. I'd personally found having bloodsuckers in the family revolting, but not good ole Seth.

Now don't get me wrong. Seth isn't the same guy he was when he was a kid. Sometimes I really miss the sweet, naïve person he once was. But three things changed Seth into what he is today.

First was when Sam dumped me. Seth had been heartbroken because he'd really looked up to Sam. They'd been closer than brothers. Seth had been infuriated on my behalf when Emily moved in with my ex. For awhile, Seth had refused to have anything to do with her. Of course, he got over that quickly enough once he saw how Emily had been injured through Sam's eyes.

Losing our dad had been another major blow, especially after it happened months after my breakup. And yet, Seth continued to keep his upbeat spirit. I really loved him for that. He kept me up when I wanted to feel so down.

You know what finally broke him? If you look at the Seth of today, and the Seth of his youth, you would find two very different guys. Not because he grew up or matured or anything like that. Nope, something happened to Seth. Something that was drastic enough to alter him to what he is now.

What could have happened, right?

Basically…Seth imprinted and had made the horrifying mistake of falling in love with someone else beforehand. You see, he had fallen for Jared and Kim Becknell's daughter, Hayley. They had secretly dated the year before she turned 18. Once she became of age, Seth proposed. He figured that Clearwaters couldn't imprint because neither of us had at that point, and he'd been an active wolf for years. He'd just announced his engagement to Embry Call and his wife Rebecca when Embry's sister, Kayla Marie, had shown up. Seth had taken one look at her and he was a goner.

The imprint was messy, for more reasons than anyone could have fathomed. It caused rifts between friends and devastating heartache. It caused awkwardness within our own family. Not only that, but Seth was firmly thrown into the shoes of the person he had at one time deeply resented…Sam.

Seth had to do to Hayley what Sam had done to me. He dumped her for his imprint.

It was a bitter pill for him to swallow, although he knew it was for the best. Hayley deserved to find her own soul mate. Then once Seth had ended it with Hayley, he'd found out that Kayla Marie was dating someone at college and the relationship was serious. Like I said before, the situation was very Jerry Springer.

You know, sometimes I wish I could go back in time and see the Seth of the past. I didn't even realize how much I took his happy-go-lucky attitude for granted until it was gone. I still catch glimpses of it from time to time and it fills me with hope. And then, the haunted look returns to his eyes.

Now is he a miserable excuse for a human being? No, but he's just…different.

I wish there was some way I could take away all the pain he went through. We'd always protected each other. I can't help but think that sometimes I failed him.

Because believe it or not, my little brother saved me…in more ways than I could have ever believed…

**Chapter 4 – Seth**

Leah's POV

I finished marking the cans of beans and asked myself for the millionth time what the fuck was I still doing in La Push. All my friends had gone away to college. But not me. Nope, I stayed behind to work in my dad's piece of shit store. My parents had both tried to talk me into going away to school but I'd refused. Last time I went away, my whore of a cousin and bastard ex-boyfriend hooked up behind my back.

And I stayed behind like a friggin moron in hopes that I would see their relationship burst into flames. When it did, I envisioned Sam crawling back to me on his knees and begging me for forgiveness. And while he was on his knees, I planned on kicking him in the mouth as hard as I could until his teeth fell out.

I waited for that moment to happen. I expected it in fact. Nine months after they had moved in together and I was still waiting. Instead of them pulling apart as I assumed was inevitable, they seemed to be getting closer. In fact, the few times that I saw them together they'd seemed disgustingly happy.

It was eerie how they acted around each other. Their bodies were in perfect sync with each other. Emily moved and Sam was right there moving with her. And the way he looked at her. It stabbed me in the heart like a thousand poisoned darts every time I saw that stupid, awestruck expression he seemed to have whenever he stared at Emily.

I hated them. I hated what they did to me. If they both died tomorrow I would spit on their fucking graves.

Even as I had that thought though, my stomach twisted painfully. As much as it killed me to admit it, I missed Emily. She had been one of my closest friends…my sister for Christ's sake. How could she do it?

That was the thought I couldn't wrap my mind around. What the hell would possess Emily to betray me like she had? Emily wasn't a vindictive, evil person by nature. Even at times when I tried to convince myself that she had always been secretly jealous of me, I knew it wasn't true. She had been upset on my behalf when Sam had dumped me. That's why I didn't understand how she could turn her back on me and our relationship for Sam, a guy she barely even knew.

I mean, where the hell was he when she was injured by that bear? Did he even try to stop it from attacking her, or did he run off like a coward? And why did she move in with him immediately after she got out of the hospital? My dad said that Sam had been nearly suicidal. Sorry, but why would you want to be around someone who could possibly kill himself at any moment?

And when the fuck did Sam turn into such a whack job anyway? From what I saw of his behavior before Emily's injury, he pretty much stalked her. I remember catching him staring at her from the woods near our house before I went off to California. Then Seth told me about all the times Sam came into the store when Emily was working there (though she had quit as soon as she moved in with the lunatic). I even remembered seeing him once, pacing near the woods of the hospital when Emily was still in it. He'd look deranged, his eyes wild like a man possessed. Never in all the time that I had known Sam had I ever seen him look or act like he had when Emily had been hurt. Maybe his craziness had even started before then. Ever since he had disappeared for those two weeks, it was like he'd had a personality transplant.

Going by the weird behavior he was exhibiting, I was convinced now that he was in fact on drugs. I had tried to talk to my dad about it, but he assured me that Sam wasn't into that scene. Hell, I even tried to talk to Sam's mom Dorothy about it, but she became instantly offended and said she raised her son better than that. From what I saw of Dorothy though, she was confused by Sam's sudden switch of affection from me to Emily. Although she seemed to adore Emily.

Who didn't? The girl was a fucking saint. Ask anyone. That's why my own freaking father defended her so vigorously whenever I tried to badmouth her.

"Hey Leah," Seth called out, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up with a frown as my brother entered the store. "You wanna go to the movies tonight? _Saw_ is playing. Nothing like a nice slasher to cheer you up."

"What is this? _Saw, _part 20?" I asked dryly, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, okay, the movies are stupid," Seth conceded. "Well, how about a game of Scrabble later?"

"Scrabble? What are you, a 70-year-old woman?"

"Fine." Seth threw his hands up in disgust. "Stay here and be miserable cause that seems to be working out well for you."

Seth sulked out of the store and I sighed. I loved Seth dearly but I was going to seriously hit him over the head if he didn't give up on his campaign to cheer me up. I wanted to be depressed, thank you very much. Why couldn't he just accept that?

My dad walked in from the back storage room carrying another box of cans for me to mark. God, I hated my life. I really was becoming a pathetic loser. The highlight of my day was getting to bust out my sticker gun and put price tags on items.

I looked up as Embry Call walked into the store. My eyes instantly narrowed in annoyance. He was one of Sam's disciples. He and Jacob Black had started hanging out with Sam a couple of months ago. I despised Embry by association.

"Embry," my dad said cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Fine, Mr. Clearwater," Embry replied politely.

My dad sighed. "You know you can call me Harry."

"Ah, sure," Embry replied awkwardly, going over to grab a two-liter of soda pop and three bags of chips. I went to ring him up when he brought his purchases to the counter, but my dad waved him away.

"Don't worry about it," my dad said.

"No, that's okay, I can pay," Embry replied.

"I insist," my dad responded. He pushed the items towards Embry. "Take it, it's okay."

Embry looked from me to my father, his cheeks turning red. He was for the most part a pretty quiet guy who didn't like to draw attention to himself. Though around people he knew, he was a sarcastic shit and had the mouth of a sailor.

"Umm, thanks," Embry said, quickly grabbing the items and leaving the store.

"What was that about?" I asked when he disappeared.

"What do you mean?" My father questioned, not making eye contact.

"Why do you always give Embry free stuff?" I wondered.

"I don't _always_ give him things," My father replied. "Besides, he's a good kid who helps out a lot on the rez."

"Either that or you take the role of Elder too seriously," I joked. "I get that he's fatherless and all, but he's almost an adult. I don't think he needs you looking out for him anymore."

The Elders always seemed to keep an eye on Embry. Quil Sr. and Billy Black welcomed him into their families and my dad had been giving Embry free stuff for as long as I could remember.

"He's not fatherless," my dad said tightly. "And I don't mind looking after one of our own."

"Umm, okay. I thought his lack of a father all his life meant that he was missing one half of his parental unit, but whatever. And why should you look after him? It's not like he's your responsibility," I said sarcastically. I was about to add more, but my dad's face was turning a strange purple color.

"Dad, are you okay?" I asked. I was worried about him. The doctor told him he needed to watch his diet and reduce stress because his cholesterol was too high.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said in tired tone. "Listen, it's closing time. Why don't you take off for awhile? I'll lock up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," my dad replied.

I didn't need a second offer. I headed to the beach which was my custom lately. The cold air felt good against my hot skin. I was always so freaking hot anymore. I didn't even need a coat and it was March.

My winter coat didn't fit me anyway. I'd reached some freak growth spurt over the past few months. I developed muscles without even trying. They pissed me off actually. I didn't want to look like a boy. I felt so unattractive and unfeminine lately. I also worried that I had caught some disease from Sam. He had shown the same symptoms before he went psycho. What's sad is that I actually relished the idea. It gave me something else to blame him for. Sighing, I headed back to the house, and of course I ran into my brother.

"Okay," Seth said cheerfully. "We can go see a chick flick. How about that?"

"Seth, I don't want to go to the stupid movies, okay?" I snapped, getting so frustrated by his annoying persistence that I wanted to rip his head off.

My hands began to shake angrily. Somewhere in the back of my head, I registered that I was overreacting, but I couldn't seem to control the fury that I was feeling. I headed towards the kitchen to see if dinner was ready.

That was another issue. I wanted to eat all the friggin time. I thought I was going to have to make an appointment to see a doctor. I hoped that if I did get some kind of disease from Sam, he was kind enough to share it with Emily too.

"This is going to kill Leah," I heard my mother say and I stopped before entering the kitchen.

"I don't think we should tell her," my dad replied.

"Harry, hiding Sam and Emily's engagement is ridiculous," my mother replied and I froze. "I can't believe Emily would do this to her cousin. How long have you known about this?"

"They love each other, sweetheart. They're meant to be together," my father defended. "And Sam told me a couple of months ago."

My shaking got worse. I walked into the doorframe of the room and stared at my father as hurt and betrayal ripped through me. I felt suddenly out of control. My father had kept Sam and Emily's engagement from me. He'd known for months. He thought they belonged together.

Heat like I never felt before flew down my spine painfully. I began to grow, my clothes falling to shreds around my feet. My skin felt like it was being ripped away and before I knew it, I was on all fours. A furious growl escaped me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized it wasn't human, but I didn't care. All I could think about was the pain.

I wanted to hurt my father. I wanted to make him experience the hell I had been going through. My own fucking father! I lunged at him, but before I could make contact, something hard and large slammed me into the wall, causing me to bust through it partially. I looked over, ready to instantly defend myself and saw a sandy colored wolf staring back. What the fuck was going on? I looked down at my hands and saw light grey paws. I screamed and a horrible howl came out. My mother covered her ears before running to the door and opening it. My father ran to the phone. His face looked pale and clammy.

"Sam," my father said weakly. I growled, about to lunge at him again, but Seth pushed me out the door with his head. I barely got through the frame.

"Seth…Leah…" I heard my father say and through Seth's eyes, I saw my father collapse to the floor, clutching his arm. My mom began to scream.

I ran to the woods, my mind not taking anything in. Seth followed close behind. The sounds of our paws hit the forest floor.

_The sound of our paws?_

Had I finally had a breakdown? Did the news of Sam's engagement finally send me over the edge? Pain swarmed me. All I could think about was that Sam was engaged. The thought echoed over and over again in my head even as Seth's thoughts filled me with worry over our father.

And then I felt the presence of others inside my brain. It was as though someone was reading my mind. Though I didn't know how it was possible, I knew Sam was in my head.

Just to make sure, I asked, _"Sam?"_

"_Seth, Leah, we're on our way."_

We were suddenly surrounded by five wolves. I looked at each one in turn. The first was a gray wolf with two dark spots on his back.

"_Embry,"_ a voice whispered and my eyes widened in horror as I stared at the wolf. Could we really hear each others' thoughts? It wasn't just my imagination?

The next one was brown and I knew it was Jared Becknell. A silvery gray wolf was looking at me with what I could only describe as a sneer…Paul Wakeh. Then there was a russet colored wolf. He was one of the largest in the pack. I knew instantly that he was Jacob Black. My eyes finally settled on the largest wolf…the one I didn't want to look at. Sam was completely black, which was pretty fitting considering his dark soul. I realized he was in shock. Through his mind, I saw me in my current state.

"_I'm a wolf?"_ I asked, still trying to deny what my mind already knew.

"_What the hell do you think just happened?"_ Paul sneered.

"_Shut up Paul," _Sam ordered before looking at Seth and me. Quietly, he said,

"_Explain what just happened to you."_

I couldn't process anything so Seth filled in the blanks. To my humiliation, he relived the fact that I'd almost killed my parents when I found out Sam was engaged. I was suddenly slammed with a feeling of guilt from my ex. Once Seth got done explaining what happened, Sam began to explain the legends to us. Seth began to calm down once he realized what we were. I, on the other, freaked out even more.

"_So I'm a fucking wolf? Not just any wolf, but the only female wolf known in our history? _

_I'm a freak among freaks?"_ I yelled, before my mind processed another thought. _"Is this why you dumped me? Because you were a wolf?"_

An image suddenly popped in Sam's head. It was of the first time he saw Emily. I could feel the connection he felt to her. I saw how as soon as he laid eyes on her, she became his gravity, the only thing keeping him alive. Sam went on to tell us about imprinting. Every word he spoke was like a knife puncturing my heart. Imprinting was a wolf's way of finding his soul mate, the one he was truly meant to be with. For Sam, his destiny was with Emily.

I felt sick. Sam didn't seem to pick up on my anguish. He was too busy showing me how I had gone blurry to him after he'd imprinted. He was wondering to himself if I'd be in focus now that I was in his pack.

"_I don't want to be part of a pack. I don't want to be anywhere near you, Sam Uley,"_ I cried as dozens of memories flashed through my brain like a broken recording. I thought about his promises of loving me forever, of our going on dates, of having sex for the first time.

"_Oh sick, please stop Leah,"_ Seth begged.

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to think that."_ I was completely mortified.

"_Dude, I never want to see you like that again,"_ Jared muttered to Sam. I ignored him.

"_So you could tell Emily all about this wolf thing, but you couldn't tell me, right?"_ I asked Sam.

"_I can tell my imprint anything,"_ he replied simply and again I was doused in another wave of his feelings for Emily.

"_So you had no choice?"_ Seth questioned in a pacifying tone. He kept looking from me to Sam.

"_Imprinting is just part of what we are,"_ Sam replied. And again I felt Sam's love for Emily. He considered his imprinting a gift. Though I knew he was trying, he couldn't hide his happiness over the situation.

"_So I see you don't have any regrets. You don't wish it could have worked out differently,"_ I said, trying my best not to lunge at him.

"_I regret that you were hurt, but…no, I wouldn't change anything,"_ Sam said carefully. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't trying to be hurtful. Hearing him say it though still kicked the shit out of me.

"_What really happened to Emily?"_ Seth suddenly asked.

Like a movie suddenly put on play, I was assaulted with images of Emily and Sam walking in the woods together. I saw her reject him. I lived Sam's pain as though it were my own. I watched as she tried to leave him and my heart softened for my cousin. I saw Sam's black paw rip into her face even as he tried to move away from her. It had been a horrible accident. I felt Sam's anguish, his thoughts of suicide that consumed him while Emily was in the hospital.

Through Sam's memories, I saw my own father try to talk to Sam after the accident. He was trying to get Sam to eat something, but Sam kept refusing. I witnessed through Paul and Jared's thoughts their fear for their leader as they tried to talk sense into Sam. They found him sitting on the floor of his bedroom looking skeletal. And then, finally, I saw Emily coming to talk to Sam after she got out of the hospital. She forced him to get up and move. She made him eat and start living again. If Emily hadn't gone to him, Sam could have very well died. As much as I hated Sam and cursed the day I ever met him, I couldn't help but feel gratitude to Emily for saving him.

I wanted to cry. I was so tired and scared. I never felt so confused in all my life.

"_Sam…Sam, what about our father?"_ Seth asked once the onslaught stopped.

Sam looked at me for a moment. I hated that he could read my thoughts. I didn't want him in my head. I felt my agitation begin to rise again. Sam felt it too.

"_I'll go check on what's happening with your father,"_ he offered. _"The rest of you stay and try to help them phase back."_

"_Wait, let me go with you,"_ Jacob Black said. _"I'll need to tell Billy. And then I want to go to Bella's and stay with her. With the bloodsucker running around, I need to make sure she's safe."_

The pack's brains suddenly went into sync. I saw them chasing after a redheaded woman who was so pale she looked like a walking corpse. I knew instinctively that she was the enemy. She was the reason I was a fucked up spastic dog.

"_Fine, let's go," _Sam said in response to Jacob before looking at Seth and me. _"You need to try to calm down. That's the only way you can phase back. Guys, work with them." _

He and Jacob left the area quickly.

"_Okay, so it's like this,"_ Jared said. _"Think a happy thought and…"_

Jared was suddenly standing in front of me in human form, butt naked. He looked at me for a moment before making a gasping noise and covering his parts up with his hands. He quickly phased back.

"_Yeah, nudity is something we've all kind of…uh…gotten used to,"_ Embry said in an embarrassed tone.

"_I'm not getting naked in front any of you!"_ I told them. I especially wouldn't do that dance again with Sam.

"_Ugh, please Leah, stop thinking about Sam that way,"_ Seth practically begged.

"_I'm sorry!"_ I exclaimed. If I was in human form, my face would have been bright red.

"_So what's it like being a wolf?"_ Seth questioned, sensing my humiliation and trying to shift the attention off me.

The boys instantly started talking excitedly. I wasn't sure how much time passed before Jacob was in all of our heads. Apparently, Bella Swan had gone over to Jake's house. She was supposed to meet him at the beach. Jake asked Embry and Jared to go check on her as he had gone to Forks with Sam and Billy and was too far away. They were concerned because the redheaded vampire had been stalking Bella. I soon felt Sam join Jacob in wolf form. They were running towards the cliffs.

"_Bella…no!"_ Jacob suddenly screamed.

Through his eyes, we saw the Swan girl jump off one of the cliffs. Jacob jumped after her and went into the water. He must have phased back to human form while he was under, because he suddenly disconnected from our minds. Sam phased back too, because one minute he was in our heads and the next he was gone.

Seth and Paul discussed what we'd just witnessed. I was still too freaked out about the fact that I was a wolf. Would I be disgusting now in human form? Would I get fleas? Paul snorted at that, but before I could tell him off, I felt a shimmer and then Sam was running towards us.

"_Leah, Seth, your dad has had a massive heart attack. I need to get you two to the hospital."_

Oh God! It was my fault! I triggered this. If I hadn't turned into a monster, my dad would be home right now, sitting in his favorite chair. Seth came over to me and nudged my head with his.

"_This isn't your fault,"_ he whispered. Even Paul kept quiet. Finally, Sam arrived to where we were.

"_Is Bella okay?"_ Paul asked.

"_Yeah, Jake got to her. I thought I saw the leech in the water though. Jared and Embry are patrolling the cliffs right now. I want you to join them. But first, let's walk Seth and Leah through how to phase back…slowly." _

So Paul worked with us. He went through some different emotions and pictured soothing things. He'd think of the woods. The sounds of the ocean crashing against the cliff walls. I could feel any pent up emotion he had melt away and he phased back, quickly turning away so I wouldn't see him. Not that I had any freaking wish to see his naked body.

Paul changed back into a wolf and walked us through the steps again. He and Sam both tried to be encouraging, but it wasn't helping. Hours passed. I could feel the tension beginning to leave Seth. He was thinking about this girl in his class he had a crush on, and poof, he was back to his normal self.

I didn't have such luck. I was too agitated and overwhelmed with guilt. And I couldn't concentrate with Sam so close by. Having him in my head was making me feel even worse. I didn't want him anywhere near me, let alone reading my every fucking thought!

Sam sighed and went behind a tree. When he came back into view, he was in human form and wearing shorts. "Leah, can't phase with me here. Seth, why don't you and I go get you some clothes? Paul, work with Leah. Meet us near the Clearwater property."

After about an hour, I was finally able to phase back. Paul went behind a bush and changed to his human form. Buttoning his shorts, he told me he'd let Seth and Sam know I was back to normal. He kept his eyes averted from my naked body the whole time, which I thought was pretty big of him, considering Paul always seemed to be such an ass.

Seth came into the woods a few minutes later, bringing me a t-shirt and jeans. He kept his eyes up to the sky the entire time. I quickly threw on the clothes and we headed towards Sam's truck. Paul had taken off to help Embry and Jared patrol, so Sam drove Seth and me to the hospital. I couldn't look at him once.

I understood so much now…why Sam had disappeared for those two weeks. When he was explaining the legends, he had showed us what he went through. My terror of what had happened to me today was nothing compared to what he had gone through. I also understood why he dumped me the way he did and why he pursued Emily. It was because of the stupid wolf gene. It was a curse. _I was cursed._

We finally arrived at the hospital. When I walked in, I noticed Emily had her arms around my mom. My mother was sobbing. My dad's two best friends, Billy and Charlie Swan, were sitting in the waiting room. Billy had tears rolling down his cheeks. Charlie looked like it was taking everything in him not to cry.

"No," I whispered. "Please, no."

My mother saw us and let go of Emily, walking over to us quickly to hug both Seth and myself.

"Dad?" Was all I could get out.

"He's gone, baby," my mother responded tearfully.

"No!" I cried. "Not my dad…please…"

I kept shaking my head and saying no. Seth didn't say anything, but tears were streaming down his face. A nurse came over to us and told us we could say goodbye. My mom grabbed both of our hands and together we walked into the room where my father's body was.

My mom kissed him and told him how much she loved him. Seth hugged him. And then it was my turned. I stared at his pallid face.

Leaning down, I whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry Dad. I'm so sorry."

I put my forehead against his and started to sob. Seth pulled me away and hugged me.

"It's not your fault," he told me softly. My mom came over and hugged me from behind. We took one more look at the lifeless body that had once been my father before we went back into the waiting room.

Emily and Sam went in next to say their goodbyes. I sat numbly in my chair. I couldn't believe all of this was happening to me. I silently prayed that I would wake up and find that Sam was still my boyfriend, my father was still alive, and I wasn't a wolf. I even pinched my skin several times and silently yelled at myself to wake up from this nightmare but nothing worked.

I felt so ashamed and sick with myself. My anger and hate had caused this. When Emily and Sam came back into the room, I walked over to them. My dad had always adored Emily. I could at least make amends with her, especially now that I knew she had tried to reject Sam, and that she'd been injured because of it. I knew my father would have wanted me to repair my relationship with my cousin. If nothing else, I would do it for him. I couldn't make up for killing him, but at least I could do this.

"Em, I…I'm sorry," I told her. "I didn't understand before…you know, about you and Sam. A part of me still doesn't understand, but I'm not mad at you. Sam told me how you got hurt. That you didn't want to betray me."

"Oh Leah," Emily responded, before reaching over to me to hug me tight. Sam smiled sadly at me, but I just glared at him. No matter what, I'd never forgive _him_ for the way he acted after becoming a wolf.

After awhile, Sam and Emily left with Billy. Charlie Swan stayed behind to help my mother make arrangements. I just sat on a couch in the waiting room, feeling completely empty. Seth sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around me. I was startled to realize he was now as tall as I was.

"Leah, look at me."

I did as he instructed and wanted to cry all over again at the pain in his eyes.

"This isn't your fault," Seth said again.

I just shook my head before resting my head on his shoulder tiredly. We sat that way for I don't know how long. Me, weeping on my younger brother's shoulder. Him, lending me his strength. I never realized how strong my baby brother was until that day.

It had been the very worst day of my life, and Seth never left my side. He shielded me and protected me. He really became my rock. Without his strength throughout everything, I would have been so lost…so damaged beyond repair.

But I wasn't…because of Seth.

* * *

_A/N – I'm not going to spend a lot of time on sad, bitter Leah. We all know that from the books. I think I'm only going to do a few more chapters of her and the pack, and then I'm moving on to when she moves away from La Push. __**All right, please leave feedback on this chapter! Thanks!**_


	5. Jacob

_A/N - This chapter takes place during Breaking Dawn. A chunk of the dialogue in this chapter is Stephenie Meyer's, not mine. I'm really happy with how this one came out. Just a reminder… as pre-warned, this is story is "canon." _

* * *

**Chapter Prologue**

It's a funny thing how life can change on you in such a short time. One minute, I was a normal, heartbroken girl. The next, I was a wolf. The only female wolf in tribal history.

I'm not going to go into detail of my life in Sam's pack. It's not a time in my past that I'm proud of. Basically, I was a bitch. I was mourning my father, horrified over having to share my mind with Sam, and pissed beyond belief about being a wolf.

My body changed once I actually phased. I became taller and more muscular. I stopped getting my period. At first, I thought it was due to the fact that I was under a lot of stress, but my menstrual cycle never came back the entire time I was phasing. I felt disgusting and unfeminine.

To compensate for my pain and humiliation, I tried to punish those around me. I'd think of disturbing thoughts such as my lack of a menstrual cycle (the guys hated that one), or I'd wonder who Embry's father was (I still cringe at that). It was pretty tasteless.

Shortly after Seth and I phased, Quil Ateara joined the pack (a month later he imprinted on Claire). A couple of months after that, Forks was invaded by a "newborn" vampire army. Collin Paden and Brady Yarnell phased right before the bloodsuckers arrived. Brady was a sweet, quiet kid. Collin, who was Brady's best friend, was known to be a jokester. Sam took each of them under his wing and made sure they adjusted to their new roles. And in his way, he tried to watch out for me too.

The guys had a lot of resentment towards me. They weren't able to talk trash anymore. They weren't comfortable going into long fantasies about women. They hated phasing in front of me. I was an unwelcome intrusion in an all guys' club. I retaliated by trying to outdo them in everything and prove that I was equal to them if not better. If anyone made their resentment known, Sam would tell them to back off.

Sharing his mind had been gut-wrenching for me. I was forced to see firsthand how much he truly cared for all of us. And as much as I hated to be reminded of it, while I was in his pack I could see the guy I had originally fallen in love with.

I'd realized that Sam wasn't the villain I had convinced myself he was. He was just a guy thrust into the same crazy life as the rest of us, but he did his best to make our transition smooth. If it weren't for the fact that I shared his brain, I think I would've even pretended that nothing had changed between us. I saw once in a rare moment when he actually thought of me that he had planned on proposing to me right before he phased (I went home and cried the entire night when I saw that one). But somewhere in the back of his mind was always Emily. And I made sure to punish him for it.

Whenever the pack patrolled, I'd remind Sam of all his promises to love me. If he ever accidentally thought about sex with Emily, I made sure to remind him I had been in his bed first. It got so bad that Sam finally assigned me to patrol on a different schedule than him. He put me on the same shift as Seth so I had to filter my thoughts.

Probably the hardest part about being a wolf for me though was seeing Sam and Emily, the unit. I had to spend a lot of time at their place during my stint in Sam's pack. Talk about awkward. Emily and I both worked on mending our relationship. To say it was strained is an understatement. I mean, c'mon, we weren't living in a fucking Brady Bunch episode. But we were once as close as sisters and we somehow managed to get on a better footing.

I had to admire Emily. The pack was _always _over. If not one or two of us, then all of us. I would have been ticked. She and Sam were just starting off their life together. I think a little desire for privacy would have been understandable. But Emily never complained. She fed us and made sure we had clothes available if we phased on the fly. The rest of the guys loved her and saw her as a second mother although she was my age. It was during one of our meetings at Emily's place that I jokingly offered to be a bridesmaid in Sam and Emily's wedding. Emily, so eager to get us back to where we had been before things had turned ugly, readily agreed.

And so, I was a bridesmaid-to-be for my ex-boyfriend's wedding, spent half my time patrolling the woods…and I was miserable. But I was handed an opportunity I never saw coming. And it came in the form of Jacob Black.

I want to make something absolutely clear before I tell you about this part of my life. I have never been in love with Jacob Black. I've never had any feelings for him other than friendship and respect.

I know some people questioned why I would go rogue and join his pack which forced me into the position of babysitting a bunch of reeking leeches. Their conclusion was that I secretly had the hots for Jacob (which really offends the feminist in me). Trust me when I say I've never seen Jacob in a romantic light. Try being in his head for a little while and then you'll see what I'm talking about. I mean, seriously, he's a great guy and all, but if you actually were forced to share his brain, you'd understand where I was coming from.

Before he imprinted, I had to put up with Jake's constant, disturbing thoughts about Bella Swan. After Ness entered his life, his thoughts became all consuming. I think when it comes to imprinting, while all wolves have a powerful connection to their imprintees, it's somehow magnified for Alphas.

I know some would like to pretend I wanted Jacob back then, but I'd never fuck with anyone's imprint, and I resent anyone insinuating that I would. No way would I ever even _want_ to interfere with that shit. That's why I think I eventually accepted Sam and Emily as a couple. I lived their connection to each other through Sam. I could never compete with that, and I wouldn't even want to try. I've got my pride, you know.

Developing feelings for Jake never even entered my brain. No girl in her right mind could desire him when you actually experienced his feelings for someone like Bella Swan like they were your own. For that matter, none of the wolves had ever appealed to me. They wouldn't for any ladies reading this either if you actually had to see their crushes and fantasies about other women. Honestly, I'm surprised some of those pervs didn't put me off men period.

There was only one wolf I ever got involved with (aside from Sam). I once had a one night stand with Will Samson, but I'll tell you all about him later. All you need to know for now is that Will was one of the wolves who changed around the time of the great "Volturi Visit." Technically, he was in Sam's pack at the time and I was in Jake's, so I didn't have to share his brain. Sam and the rest of his disciples had to, but not me.

When it came to Jacob Black though, I never saw him as anything other than a friend and sometimes annoying younger brother. Jacob, you see, provided me with the one thing I desperately wanted. He gave me an escape. Who would have ever thought that friggin Jacob would become the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, and yet that's what he became.

My life made a turn for the better the night Sam ordered a hit on the Cullen family. It was around the time that Bella came back from her honeymoon knocked up and we didn't know what the ramifications of that pregnancy would be. In exchange for joining Jake's pack, I had to protect Bella and the rest of the Cullen leeches.

To be fair to Sam, I think he reacted so irrationally that night because Jacob was subconsciously accepting his Alpha power. As I said before, two Alphas can't be near each other without wanting to maim and kill one another. Now, I personally wouldn't have cared if Sam's pack succeeded in hurting Bella. I couldn't stand that bitch then and I still can't stand her (even if she is my stepsister). I think the way she treated Jake was intolerable. Hell, I think the way she even treated her bloodsucker was horrible. She kept both guys dancing on a string and couldn't decide which one she wanted more so she played them both. And poor Jake was so torqued up about the stupid decisions she made, he could barely function.

My heart really hurt for him as he watched Bella grow weak as her pregnancy progressed. He hardly left her side towards the end, and when he wasn't there she'd always pout like a little bitch until he came. Of course, as we learned later on, it was the draw to his imprint that made them yearn to be around each other. As soon as Nessie was born, whatever freaky connection Jake felt to Bella was severed.

But I digress. As I said, Jake gave me the one thing I needed…freedom from Sam's mind. Not only that, but he also almost died protecting my ass during the Newborn War. I'll always be indebted to him.

In exchange for everything he gave me, I gave him the only thing I could offer. Jake has my friendship for the rest of my life, and he also has my loyalty. I would take a fucking bullet for that guy…I'm not kidding. (Yeah, I know he can't die that way, but you get what I mean.) I owe him more than I could ever repay him for.

And it all started the day he said I could stay as a permanent member of his pack…

**Chapter 5 – Jacob**

Leah's POV

Jacob was trying to talk me into hunting live animals. I was _not_ for this idea at all, but it had been two days since I broke away from Sam's pack and joined Jake's. I hadn't eaten since then, and there was no freaking way I'd touch anything the bloodsuckers had to offer. Just being around them made my nose burn. Still, I didn't think I could go any longer without sustenance. Ugh, I hated the idea of eating raw.

"_Yum, Yum,"_ I thought disgustingly.

"_It's all in your head,"_ Jacob replied. _"That's the way wolves eat. It's natural. It tastes fine. If you didn't think about it from a human perspective--"_

"_Forget the pep talk, Jacob. I'll hunt. I don't have to like it."_ Seriously if he didn't shut up, I was going to throw up. Not that I had anything in my stomach to upchuck.

"_Sure, sure,"_ Jacob replied casually.

I looked over at him. We were both in wolf form. I had found that while I was this way, I was incredibly fast. I could outrace any of the guys. And Jacob was extremely powerful. He would be now that he was Alpha. Speaking of…there was something I needed to say to him.

"_Thank you."_

"_For?"_ Jake asked.

"_For letting me be. For letting me stay. You've been nicer than I had any right to expect, Jacob."_

"_Er, no problem,"_ Jake replied, somewhat embarrassed before he added_, "Actually, I mean that. I don't mind having you here like I thought I would._"

I snickered at the surprise I could hear in his voice. _"What a glowing commendation!"_

"_Don't let it go to your head,"_ Jake joked.

"_Okay—if you don't let this go to yours." _I paused for a minute. I really didn't do emotional well. _"I think you make a good Alpha. Not in the same way Sam does, but in your own way. You're worth following, Jacob."_

"_Er, thanks,"_ Jake responded, shifting his weight. _"Not totally sure I'll be able to stop that one from going to my head though. Where did that come from?"_

I started thinking about future events. As soon as Bella had her spawn, she'd either die or become a leech. When that happened, Jake planned on returning to the forest. He had disappeared a few months ago and lived wild, and only returned for Bella's wedding a month ago. What would happen to me though when Jake left? Would I have to return to Sam's pack? Live his love for Emily all over again while I was in his head? I dreaded the idea.

Sighing, I looked at Jake and said, _"I want to stay with you." _

I could feel his shock so I quickly added, _"I won't be a pain, I swear. I won't follow you around. You can go wherever you want, and I'll go where I want. You'll only have to put up with me when we're both wolves."_

I began to pace back and forth as I thought about my escapes plans. _"And, as I'm planning on quitting as soon as I can manage it…maybe that won't be so often."_

When Jake didn't say anything, I felt my shoulders droop before I shamefully admitted, _"I'm happier now, as a part of your pack, than I have been in years." _

"_I want to stay too."_ Seth's random thought suddenly interrupted us from where he was patrolling a couple of miles away. "_I like this pack."_

"_Hey, now!"_ Jacob quickly intervened. _"Seth, this isn't going to be a pack much longer. We've got a purpose now, but when…after that's over, I'm just going to go wolf. Seth, you need a purpose. You're a good kid. You're the kind of person who always has a crusade. And there's no way you're leaving La Push now. You're going to graduate from high school and do something with your life. You're going to take care of Sue. My issues are not going to mess up your future."_

"_But--"_

"_Jacob is right,"_ I interrupted.

"_You're agreeing with me?"_ Jake asked in surprise.

"_Of course,"_ I said in my best buttery tone. _"But none of that applied to me. I was on my way out anyway. I'll get a job somewhere away from La Push. Maybe take some courses at the community college. Get into yoga and meditation to work on my temper issues…and stay a part of this pack for the sake of my mental well-being. Jacob—you can see how that makes sense, right? I won't bother you, you won't bother me, everyone is happy." _

I didn't want to beg, especially not in wolf form, but I was not above busting out a puppy face.

Jacob sighed. _"This is a bit much to deal with, Leah. Let me think about it, 'kay?"_

"_Sure, take your time." _

I waited patiently as Jake weighed the pros and cons of having me around. He knew that I was pretty desperate to stay out of Sam's pack. He didn't think I'd really thought all this through, but I had. I'd thought about it endlessly, even before Jake assumed his Alpha power. I'd thought of nothing else the past few months other than figuring out a way to leave my current situation. I wanted to stop phasing as soon as it was possible. And I wasn't just giving Jake a line of bullshit. I really did want to go to college whether it was at a community college, or maybe even a university. I just wanted out. If I could keep my loyalties to Jake, I could live almost normally. Just the idea of it made my heart flutter in relief.

We began to walk and came face to face with a herd of deer. The wolf in me purred at the idea of supper while the human inside me flinched. My stomach growled hungrily and didn't give a rat's ass who won my inner battle…it just wanted food. Finally giving in, I lunged at a large buck, snapping its neck before it realized what had even happened. Jake killed his own deer. He showed me with his mind how to eat raw, and as much as it disgusted me, he helped me succeed in squashing my hunger. I let my inner wolf take over and my animal instinct kicked in. We ate until we were both full.

As we began to patrol, Jake ordered Seth to go sleep. I felt my little brother's mind immediately drift into sleep mode.

"_You headed back to the bloodsuckers?"_ I asked Jacob.

"_Maybe."_

"_It's hard for you to be there, but hard to stay away, too,"_ I said in sympathetic understanding. _"I know how that feels."_

Jake hesitated before saying, _"You know, Leah, you might want to think a little bit about the future, about what you really want to do. My head is not going to be the happiest place on earth. And you'll have to suffer right along with me."_

I felt guilty, but I told him truthfully, _"Wow, this is going to sound bad. But honestly, it will be easier to deal with your pain than face mine."_

"_Fair enough,"_ Jacob replied simply.

"_I know it's going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that—maybe better than you think. I don't like her, but…she's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have."_

Jake didn't say anything to my unhappy thoughts, or my comparison of Sam and Bella. But I understood Jake's pain better than he knew. He was in love with Bella Swan and she chose someone else. That kind of rejection stung. And Jacob was hurting so much because of it. Looking at him, I admitted something…something I never wanted to face or acknowledge, because it was too painful.

"_I know it's worse for you. At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him."_ I sighed as my mind immediately flashed to Emily. _"I just don't want to stick around to watch."_

"_Do we need to talk about this?"_ Jake wondered uncomfortably.

"_I think we do. Because I want you to know that I won't make it worse for you. Hell, maybe I'll even help. I wasn't born a compassionless shrew. I used to be sort of nice, you know." _

"_My memory doesn't go that far back,"_ Jake snickered and we both laughed before I sobered. Jacob was such a good guy. I hated that he was miserable. He didn't deserve it. Jake had been so good to both me and my brother, not to mention the entire leech coven. God, I hated Bella Swan for how shitty she treated him.

"_I'm sorry about this, Jacob. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm sorry it's getting worse and not better." _

Jacob swallowed before saying, _"Thanks Leah."_

We looked at each other for a moment in shared understanding…and then we got into a fight. We began discussing Rosalie Hale. I told him I understood where the blonde leech was coming from. She wanted a child more than anything and she was living out her dream through Bella. I understood that. Ever since I started phasing six months ago, I hadn't had a period. I knew I couldn't be pregnant, and to realize that children weren't a possibility in my future broke my heart. I had never even thought about kids until the possibility of having them was gone. I was a genetic dead end. Good for nothing…nothing but acting like a bitch and killing my father. There was seriously something fucking wrong with me.

Even as I began to wallow in self-pity, Jake tried to cheer me up. As I was thinking about the fact that I was menopausal, he said, _"You don't know that Leah. It's probably just the whole froze-in-time thing. When you quit your wolf and start getting older again, I'm sure things will…er…pick right back up."_

I took pity and switched the subject. We started talking about the pros and cons of imprinting and I admitted another deep dark secret to Jacob. I wouldn't have minded being imprinted on.

"_You really want to imprint, or to be imprinted on, or whichever?" _Jake asked incredulously. _"What wrong with going out and falling in love like a normal person, Leah? Imprinting is just another way of getting your choices taken away from you."_

I might have agreed with that point accept for one big, fat problem_. "Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil…they don't seem to mind."_

"_None of them have a mind of their own," _Jacob argued.

_"You don't want to imprint?"_ I asked curiously.

"_Hell no!"_ Jake replied.

I tried very hard not to laugh. Because I knew for a fact that Jacob was lying to himself. I remembered quite clearly a vision Jake had tried not to share with the pack. It was right before the Newborn War and Jake was carrying Bella to her campsite where they were going to hide her. He had tried more than once to imprint on her during that walk. He'd made a concentrated effort to imprint in fact, but it couldn't be forced.

"_That's just because you're already in love with her,"_ I told him matter-of-factually. _"That would go away, you know, if you imprinted."_

Couldn't Jake see how much better off he'd be if that happened to him?

I added for good measure, _"You wouldn't have to hurt over her anymore."_

"_Do you want to forget the way you feel about Sam?"_ Jake countered.

I thought about that for a second. If given the choice of mourning over Sam all my life, or getting to experience what I saw in Sam's head every time he thought of Emily, would I want it? I knew that I would love to be treated in the manner the guys treated their imprints. They adored them. And what was so amazing was that their feelings were reciprocated. If given the chance to find the one meant for me…someone who would never look at another woman or leave me for someone else…would I take it?

Yes. I would. Even if it meant forgetting about my love for Sam.

I looked at Jake. He wanted to know if I wanted to forget Sam and I had my answer for him. _"I think I do."_

I heard Jacob mutter something about me being in a much better place than he was. We argued a little bit more as to whether Rosalie was right in assisting Bella with what would be her death for the sake of her child. Jake finally got fed up and took off to the Cullen house. I walked slowly towards the front of the home and laid down next to Seth's sleeping form. He had found a nice place to take a nap that allowed us to view the house, but kept us at a reassuring distance. He was having a weird dream where he was chasing after some girl he liked. His paws moved in motion with what his brain was showing him. I chuckled as I stretched out. I saw a few of the Cullens take off through the woods. Probably out to hunt. They had been holed up inside the house since Sam's pack had threatened the family.

I didn't know how long I laid there lost in thought, when I heard a commotion coming from the garage area of the house. Jake came tearing out in Edward Cullen's Aston Martin Vanquish. His face looked like death. I was instantly on my feet. Did something happen inside? Did Bella die?

I quickly phased to my human form, threw on my dirty clothes, and ran towards the big house. After a few gulps of fresh air, I went up to the front door and knocked on it. Edward Cullen answered with a somewhat contented look on his face considering his wife could die at any moment. My random thought quickly erased his happy expression. I looked past him and saw Bella sitting happily on the couch, rubbing her belly and sucking on a straw. Even from where I was standing, I could smell that she was drinking blood, the only thing the creature inside her would let her drink.

"Leah," Edward said cordially. "Please, come in."

I took a few steps in and stopped. I looked from Edward to Bella. The blonde bitch, Rosalie, was curled up on the floor next to Bella. They all looked way too laidback, which didn't make sense to me considering Jake's expression.

"What happened to Jacob?" I asked.

"I heard the baby's thoughts. He has a high intellectual level," Edward said like a proud father. "Jacob didn't react well to the news that my baby isn't a monster."

I looked at Bella's satisfied expression and saw red. Here she was, acting like she didn't have a care in the world, and she didn't even give a shit that she just stomped all over Jacob's heart…again. Didn't she have any idea of how much it was killing him, seeing her body swell with another man's child and knowing she was going to die because of it?

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked. Edward's head whipped around, finally broken out of his happy daze as he began to read my thoughts.

"I'm sorry?" Bella said in surprise.

"You should be!" I yelled. "Why do you keep fucking with Jacob's emotions? Don't you care about anybody but yourself? Do you get some kind of sick, twisted pleasure in torturing him? Why can't you just let him go? Why do you keep fucking with his head?"

"You need to leave," Edward growled. "Right now!"

Bella burst into crocodile tears. I was shaking so hard that I knew I'd phase at any moment. As much as I hated the bitch, I knew Jake would be pissed if I killed her, so I took off. I just managed to get to the woods and take my clothes off before I phased.

"_What was that all about?"_ Seth asked, awake from his nap.

I showed him what just happened.

"_Leah, how could you?"_ Seth remarked.

"_She's a user,"_ I screamed. _"I'm sick of her playing games with Jake. He doesn't deserve it." _

"_Jake's not you,"_ Seth whispered. That stopped me.

"_I didn't think he was,"_ I answered in a stunned tone.

"_Jake needs this, Leah. As much as it might kill him, he needs to be around her right now. Once she's turned, he won't see her again. He needs to be able to be with her now, so he can let her go later."_

I sighed. _"So how pissed do you think Jake will be at me?"_

Seth laughed. _"Well, you went inside the Cullen house. He'll either be very proud of you for taking some baby steps, or he'll be really ticked at how you spoke to Bella."_

I smiled at that._ "Listen, I'm going to go take a bath and cool off. Will you be okay by yourself?_"

Seth rolled his eyes at me, which was especially comical in wolf form.

"_Yeah, I'll be fine." _

"_Howl if you need me,"_ I told him.

Turning, I ran up the river as far from the stench of vampire as I could get, yet still remaining close enough by that I could get back to Seth quickly if he called for me. Phasing back to my human form, I detached the rope holding my clothes to me from around my leg. Glancing around to double check that no one was nearby, I slid into the icy water.

God, what I wouldn't do for a bar of soap and some shampoo right now. I felt so disgusting. I stuck my head under the water and ran my fingers through my hair. It wouldn't get it clean, but it was good enough for now.

I floated on my back for awhile, letting the current take me down river for a little bit, before I kicked out again. A part of me wished Sam would stumble across the area. I could just picture his face as he saw me floating, my breasts pointed to the sky, my legs spread gently apart.

_Wake up Leah! Even if he saw you, he wouldn't give a shit!_

I wanted to cry at that depressing thought. When it came to Sam, I realized that I had gone through the five stages of grief. First, I denied everything. I couldn't believe that Sam had dumped me for Emily. And then, I was angry. Actually, angry was too mild of a word for the fury I'd felt.

And somewhere in the middle of my rage, I hit the bargaining stage. Before I became a wolf, I had hoped that Sam would be repulsed by Emily's scars and that he'd come back to me. I couldn't count how many nights I cried myself to sleep just begging whichever powers were listening that if Sam would give me another chance, I'd be a better person.

And then after I phased and my dad died, depression hit me strong and fierce. I knew there was no chance I'd ever get Sam back. He loved Emily on a whole other plain than what he ever felt for me. So now, I was in the weary stages of acceptance. Sam would never come back to me. Even if Emily left him, he'd never be mine again. Still…it didn't stop me from fantasizing.

I imagined Sam seeing me naked as I currently was. He would walk over to me slowly, stripping as he went. He'd already be hard for me. And then he'd make his way between my legs.

My legs automatically widened at that thought.

_I was a fool, Leah,_ he'd tell me.

I swam over to the edge of the riverbank and sat on top of the flat ground. I laid back down as my mind wandered again. It had been so long since I'd been with a man. Almost a year.

_Touch yourself for me Leah_, my fantasy Sam would whisper in my ear.

My hands automatically went to my breasts. My tips were already hardened by the cold water. I began to play with them, pulling on them hard as Sam used to.

_That's it baby…you're so hot_, he'd tell me.

My hand slowly drifted down my stomach until it reached the juncture between my legs. I moved automatically to the feminine bud protruding there. I began to rub myself and my fantasy went wild. I could just picture Sam standing over me, pleasuring himself as he watched me. I pressed my palm against my pelvic bone and my hips instantly thrust up. When the pressure began to build, I caressed my dewy lips before inserting a finger inside myself. It didn't take long for me to explode, shouting out Sam's name as I peaked.

And when it was over, I curled up in a ball and cried.

I wasn't lying when I told Jacob that I still loved Sam. I didn't know how I'd get over him unless I imprinted. Maybe college really was the answer. As soon as things cooled down between the packs, I'd begin to work on not phasing anymore. I needed to get away. Sighing, I got up and jumped back in the river, rinsing off my late afternoon exertion.

I was just tying my clothes back to my legs, when I heard the sound of a wolf heading my way. I quickly phased so that I wouldn't have to be naked in front of whoever was coming. Seth appeared next to me moments later.

"_Well, Jacob's back. He's not pissed…actually I think he was a little amused and honored that you leapt to his defense…but he said to lay off."_

Suddenly, the night was filled with a horrific scream. It was distant, probably carried by the wind, but we knew where it came from. Seth and I quickly ran back to the Cullen house. From the yelling that was going on inside, we could tell that Bella had gone into labor.

"_This is it,"_ I told Seth. _"We need to patrol. If Sam has spies around, this would be the ideal time to attack."  
_  
I noticed something as we quickly went around the perimeter. _"Where are Carlisle and Esme?"_

"_They're still out hunting."  
_

I could hear Edward ordering Jacob to give Bella CPR.

"You stay with me now, Bella!" Jacob yelled out. "Do you hear me? Stay! You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!"

And then, the thing must have come out because Edward said, "Renesmee."

So the mutant was a girl. I wondered if it was born with bat wings and fangs.

"_Oh brother."_ Seth mentally rolled his eyes at me.

"Take the baby," Edward stated urgently.

"Throw it out the window," Jake responded.

"Give her to me," I heard Rosalie say and heard both Edward and Jake growl in response.

More bickering and orders went on as Seth and I finished our patrol and made our way towards the house. We both stopped moving when we got close enough to see inside the living room windows. Rosalie sat down on the couch, cradling the creature and holding a bottle of blood. Upon further examination, I could see that she was holding what looked like a baby…no fangs, no bat face. Just a normal looking baby. Upstairs, we could hear Bella's heart slow and then it finally stopped.

I don't know what Jacob thought in that moment, but Edward suddenly bit out, "Go then!"

"_So she's dead," _Seth whispered mournfully.

Even though I couldn't stand Bella, I suddenly felt terrible. I felt sick for Jacob. I felt sad for my little brother who really adored her. And as irrational as it was, I couldn't help but feel pity for the little mutant I could hear Rosalie humming to. I lost my father young, but that one would never know her mother. It was unfair.

"_Oh shit!"_ I said, as something caught my eye.

"_What?"_ Seth questioned, suddenly alert. He took one look into the house and muttered, _"Oh no!"_

Jacob was slowly approaching the baby and Rosalie. He was shaking so hard that he was blurring. And his face….I never thought Jacob could actually look homicidal. He crouched down low.

"_We need to stop him,"_ Seth implored.

"_Our job is to protect our Alpha,"_ I replied. Still…

I took a step forward. The idea of another life being taken away early suddenly became unacceptable to me…even if it was a monster. I took another step, but before I could do anything, Jake stopped moving.

Because the baby finally peeked at him over Rosalie's shoulder. And I knew in that instant that Jacob finally got what he was secretly desired. He imprinted.

"_Well…ah…that was unexpected,"_ Seth said.

"_No shit,"_ I remarked before another thought hit me. _"Oh god dammit!"_

"_What?"_ Seth asked in surprise.

"_I'm going to be in Jake's pack from now on…"_

When Seth stared at me blankly, I elaborated. _"Which means I'm bound to protect the bloodsuckers for the rest of my life."_

Seth snorted. We stayed nearby in case any of the leeches tried to kill Jacob for imprinting on Renesmee. The rest of the Cullens arrived home and ooed and awed over the new addition. I could hear Carlisle congratulating Edward on the fact that he managed to succeed in injecting his venom into Bella in time. Guess that meant she was changing.

To say that Edward was pissed about Jake's imprinting was an understatement, but if anyone knew how innocent Jake's feeling were for Renesmee, it was Edward. I think I even heard him mutter something to the effect, "It's a good thing I can read your mind right now, pup, or you'd be dead no matter how pissed off it'd make Bella."

The night sky began to lighten. I watched with amusement as Rosalie and Jake fought over who would feed the baby. Finally around dawn, Jacob left the house looking tired but happy. He disappeared into the woods and phased.

"_Hey man, congrats,"_ Seth said.

I could feel Jake grinning like an idiot. _"Thanks. She's perfect, isn't she?"_

"_For a mutant, sure,"_ I joked.

"_Don't call her that,"_ Jake snapped.

"_Sorry,"_ I replied, not letting his overprotective attitude affect me. All imprinters acted like that.

"_Listen,"_ Jake said. _"I need to find Sam and let him know what happened. If he sticks with the rules, Nessie should be safe. The pack won't attack another wolf's imprint." _

"_Nessie?"_ I asked.

"_Yeah,"_ Jake said sheepishly. _"Renesmee takes too long to say."_

"_Do you want us to go with you?"_ Seth asked.

"_No,"_ Jake replied. "_Stay here and protect Nessie in case things don't go so well."_

"_You got it, Boss,"_ Seth responded.

With an exasperated huff at "boss," Jake took off. A short time later, Jake reappeared with Sam. Sam checked for himself that Renesmee wasn't a danger to everyone and he reaffirmed the truce that existed between the Cullens and the tribe. Jake later came out and told Seth and me to go home and get some rest.

"_Are you sure?" _I asked.

"_Yeah,"_ Jake replied. _"Hey…thanks. Both of you. For sticking by me."_

"_No problem,"_ Seth replied.

"_Jake, I meant what I said before,"_ I told him. _"It would be an honor to stay in your pack."_

"_Yeah,"_ Seth added.

Jake looked at both of us and then smiled before saying the one word that I knew would change my life forever.

"_Okay."_

With relief filling my heart, Seth and I headed home. Our mother cried over us and cooked breakfast while Seth and I took turns showering. I never thought I'd feel so happy to eat a pancake in all my life. We both headed for bed after that. Sometime mid-afternoon, I woke up. I quickly got on fresh clothes and checked on Seth. He was still sleeping so I headed out to the woods by myself. I stripped and phased before heading over to the Cullen property. I stopped when I saw Jacob sitting on the front porch. He was feeding Nessie, and as I didn't want to intrude on his private time with his imprint, I found a comfortable spot to lie down.

"Leah, I know you're there," Jake called out. "Come here for a sec."

Ugh. I so didn't want to go anywhere near the Cullen house. I phased though and headed over to see what my Alpha wanted. He scooted over so I could sit next to him. Looking around for the leeches, I could smell that they were inside the house so I sat down.

"Isn't she incredible?" Jake asked in an awestruck tone.

I looked down at the kid. She had soft bronze curls and big brown eyes. To say that she was beautiful was an understatement. I couldn't believe something that gorgeous came from Bella Swan.

"Yeah Jake, she's great," I replied sincerely.

"You wanna hold her?" Jake asked.

"No--" I answered immediately, but it was already too late.

He placed her gently in my arms before I could protest. Renesmee stared up at me and I felt my heart melt just a little. If it weren't for the fact that this kid was half bloodsucker and tied me to the leeches for the rest of my existence, I could easily adore her.

She reached up in that moment and touched my face with her tiny, delicate hand. Immediately, Bella's deathly pale face flashed through my mind. It was so accurate and real, I knew it wasn't something that came from me.

"What the fu--"

"Leah!"

"—fudge was that?" I corrected.

"We discovered she has a gift," Jake said proudly. "You know how Edward can read minds? Nessie can do the opposite. She can put her thoughts into your head. What'd she show you?"

"Bella," I responded in surprise, looking down at the baby in my arms.

"She's been doing that a lot," Jake replied with a frown. "She's worried about her mom."

"How's Bella doing?"

"Carlisle says she seems to be on track. Edward's not so sure."

I could hear the concern in his voice so I nudged him with my elbow. "I'm sure the doc knows best."

"Yeah," Jake said. Renesmee began to squirm, so I handed her back to Jake. She instantly calmed down, making a cooing contented noise as she stared up at Jake. He smiled, completely enamored.

As I looked at her, I couldn't help but voice a thought that was pushing through my brain.

"She's awfully big for a newborn," I remarked hesitantly. Renesmee looked like she was about two weeks old, instead of a day.

"I know," Jake replied softly, worry weighing heavily in his voice.

"Jake…" I tried to say. What if this was part of the process for a half-breed? Nessie was the only one of her kind. Instead of being immortal, what if she aged rapidly and died? Jake wouldn't be able to handle that.

"Don't say it, Leah," Jake pleaded. "She's going to be just fine."

I knew he was trying to convince himself of that fact more than me. He brought Ness's face up to his lips and kissed her forehead before nuzzling her cheek with his chin.

"You were right, you know," Jake suddenly said.

"What?"

"When you said imprinting would take away my pain. Don't get me wrong. I'm worried sick over Bella. But the moment Nessie was born, I stopped feeling that pull towards Bells. It's like everything suddenly shifted into place and makes sense now."

I smirked smugly. "So no regrets? No more talks about imprinting not giving you a choice."

"Nope," Jake laughed. "I didn't understand imprinting before. But I get it now. I'm _happy_ Leah. I never thought I could be this happy. I know Nessie is just a baby and I honestly can't even picture the day I'll see her as anything other than a kid, but she gives me purpose. Everything is how it should be."

I smiled at him, glad for his new found contentment. And yet, I couldn't help but be a little envious too. Would I ever achieve the peace at heart that Jacob now had?

* * *

_A/N – For those who might feel this chapter wasn't "in character," I took the part where Leah confesses she still loves Sam and only wants what's best for him directly from Breaking Dawn. (Ch. 16, page 316)_

_Also, contrary to what Jacob said, he did want to imprint. Stephenie Meyer says on her website that Jacob tried to force himself to imprint on Bella in Eclipse: __http://www(dot)stepheniemeyer(dot)com/ecl_faq(dot)html_

_And after Edward hears Renesmee's thoughts while she's in the womb (BD Ch. 16) and Jacob leaves, he goes to a park to try to find someone to imprint on (Ch. 17). __So I kept this chapter in canon. _

_**LOL, and on that note, please review!**_


	6. Renesmee

**Author's Note**

I need to take a moment to address some reviews I've received. I commented before I even started this story that it was going to stay in **canon**, and I reminded everyone of that fact in the author's note before I posted the previous chapter. And yet, five chapters into this story, I have received reviews where I've been told to go die, that I was an abomination, loser, bimbo, that I deserved to have my own boyfriend stolen…and that's not even half of it_._ I've also had to block anonymous reviews because all my stories were getting spammed. To those wondering why I've been the recipient of such behavior, the sad pathetic truth is, it's because I stated I was pro-Jacob/Nessie.

To the people who've left these comments. You've been told that this story is CANON. Your complaints have nothing to do with my story, but rather they are in opposition to the idea of imprinting itself. If this story upsets you so much, please feel free to check out the stories that match your taste. When I say this story is "CANON" that means I'm going to write Jacob and Leah as Stephenie Meyer (their creator and _true owner_) envisioned them. Jacob and Renesmee are canon. They are what Stephenie wanted and she created this universe. She had the right to do whatever she wanted with _her_ characters. And because I choose to follow her original idea, people want me to die? Please keep in mind that the Twilight universe is just fiction.

Now some of you might be wondering about the direction I'm taking this story. I'm showing you the different events in Leah's life that made her the woman she is in the prologues. I got the idea for this chapter and the previous one from something that was on SM's website:

_Question: __What happened to Leah?_

_SM's Answer: __Leah is currently pretty satisfied with life. She's free from Sam's pack, which is a very happy thing for her. She's the "beta" in Jacob's pack, which she can't help but be a little smug about around her pack brothers (its kind of a big deal in wolf terms). Jacob has become the reliable friend that she's been needing for quite some time, and he's a real comfort to her, though they conceal their fondness for each other with constant bickering. She has absolutely no romantic interest in Jacob, and the whole Nessie thing only bothers her in that it ties her to the vampires._

http://www(dot)stepheniemeyer(dot)com/bd_faq(dot)html

So just to recap one more time, this story will remain CANON. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. To the Blackwater fans who have written to me upset on my behalf, please don't think I'm judging any of you on the actions of others. Now onto the chapter. One line in the prologue is from Breaking Dawn. **Warning--this chapter will mention the topic of pedophilia though nothing explicit.**

* * *

**Chapter Prologue**

There is a phenomenon in the wolf pack that outsiders just don't get. It never affected me personally, but it affected my life by association. What is this strange, mysterious thing, you ask? I'm talking about the phenomenon of child imprints.

Quil was the first of our generation to imprint on a kid. He had just arrived at a pack meeting with Jacob and Embry when it happened. Emily was watching her brother's children, Cora and Claire, when Quil walked into the middle of the room and spotted Claire hiding behind Sam's leg. She saw him, walked her two-year-old little body right up to him, and put her hand out for him to shake. And just like that he imprinted.

I know the natural reaction to this would be to be appalled. We all were at first. Sam even punched Quil in the face. But once we saw inside Quil's head, we understood. There was nothing sick, twisted, or disgusting in the way he felt about Claire. He just wanted to protect her and watch over her.

To help you understand the phenomenon further, I'm going to give you a glimpse into the mind of a wolf dealing with a child imprint. First off, they worry…all the freaking time. I remember Quil and Jacob once got into a very serious discussion about whether it was advisable or not to wrap their imprints in bubble wrap. That idea was nixed when Bella told Jacob if he tried it, she'd rip him a new one.

Not only do they worry about their imprints, but they also have public perception thrown at them. I mean, don't get me wrong. They don't give a shit what people think about them. But it bothers the ever living shit out of me!

I've seen how some narrow-minded assholes have looked at my pack brothers. They see the guys looking adoringly at their young imprints and they instantly begin to whisper "pedophile." They can see for themselves that the guys don't act inappropriately around their imprints. They see the girls happy and healthy. But they still whisper their ignorance between themselves.

And that's when I take it personally. Do you think I would associate myself with a bunch of child rapists and molesters? Are you calling me a "pedo-lover" because I'm hanging out with them? Because I _did_ hang out with both Jacob and Quil for months after they imprinted. Jacob's pack had the only two child imprinters in it, and I welcomed both Quil and Jacob's friendship. They're my brothers. I stood right by Jacob's side to defend Renesmee when the Volturi came to the area. Do you think he forced me to be there? Hell no.

I wish I could sit down all the judgmental morons of this world who looked at my boys negatively and hand them a dictionary. Do they even understand the definition of "pedophile?" Let me share with you the _Merriam-Webster Dictionary's_ definition of the word "pedophilia:"

Sexual perversion in which _**children**_ are the preferred sexual object.

If anyone thinks that a wolf looks at his child imprint in a sexual way, then _those people _are the sick fucks! Does the imprinter know that someday down the road the girl will _grow up_ and most likely be their soul mate, sure. Does that mean they sexually want their imprints while they're still in diapers? Fuck no! Quil didn't even realize he was in love with Claire until she was about to start college. The only way for a person to be defined as a pedophile is if they want the girls sexually when they are still _children_. That doesn't happen with child imprints, and if anyone says otherwise then they're making themselves look like ignorant asses. And as I said, you insult my brothers, you insult me because I stood by their side the entire time I was in the pack.

Now as mentioned before, I was there the day Jacob imprinted on Renesmee. I was also there the day Bella, stupid bitch extraordinaire, found out that Jake imprinted. Out of all the Cullens, she was the one who overreacted to the whole imprint the most. She was ranting and raving at Jacob and basically accusing him of being a pervert, because as I said, she's a stupid bitch. His response (and I quote) was:

_"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did? All I want is for her to be safe and happy--is that so bad?"_

And then the bitch ranted some more and lunged at Jacob. Seth jumped protectively in front of his Alpha just as Bella struck and he ended up getting injured. If Jacob hadn't ordered me to keep a 50 yard distance from the whore, I would have killed her that day.

But I digress. I've been in the minds of imprinted wolves. That applies to wolves who have imprinted on women and wolves who have imprinted on children. Trust me when I say that it's better to be in the mind of a child imprinter.

Let me give you an example. If you had a choice between seeing Jared lick Kim's yahoo, or watching Quil reading Claire a book about Big Bird, which would you rather see? (For you pervs who answered Kim/Jared…say that again when you have to see it nonstop, then you go out to lunch with the woman.)

I'd rather be around a child imprinter any day. In fact, if my daughter had ever been imprinted on as a baby, I think I would have loved it. Not only would I get the best babysitter in the world, but I would've also known that her imprinter would die before letting anything bad happen to her. What could be more reassuring for a parent?

That's what Jake was to Renesmee. He watched over her and protected her every second of her life. Poor Jake didn't have it as easy as Quil (and Quil & Claire went through a lot of shit together). Jacob had to deal with first worrying if his imprint was going to die when she was born because of her rapid growth. Then once the family found out about Nahuel and that Nessie was going to end up immortal, Jake had to deal with everything that came with a girl who could age a year in just a few months. Let's just say Renesmee's puberty was not a good time for Jacob.

But you know what? I wasn't bullshitting when I said that I loved Renesmee. She went from being a cute kid to a good-hearted teenager to an amazingly strong woman. I only had two issues when it came to Ness.

First off was the fact that she gave my mother an excuse to bond with Charlie Swan. Charlie liked to pretend that his daughter was normal and that Jacob had never phased in front of him. But he couldn't pretend that Nessie was normal no matter how hard he tried. And whenever he became too baffled by her progress, my mother was there to guide him through it. Yeah…that pissed me off.

My other big issue with Ness is that because of her, I'll always have a connection to the bloodsuckers (whom I still can't stand). I know what you're probably thinking. How the hell can you be tolerant about that girl given the fact that her parents are walking corpses, right? Let me give you my top five reasons why I like Renesmee and maybe you'll understand what I'm trying to say.

1) She's Jake's imprint – Imprintees share a mind connection to their wolves that is equal to the connection the pack feel towards each other. Emily, Ness, Kim…all of them…they are as much a part of the inner workings of the pack as I am. Being the lone female wolf for so long meant that the only women in my life were the imprintees. They made me part of a sisterhood. It was refreshing to have those women in my life, and it still is even to this day.

2) Renesmee's a mutant like me – Although Ness is half leech, I couldn't help but bond with her throughout the years. I knew what it was like to be different…so did she. Everything was magnified for her because of her rapid growth. Hormones…puberty…all of it was so much worse because everything always hit her at once. And because I was around quite a bit of her early years, Ness would seek me out and ask me questions she was too embarrassed to ask her family. Boys were a favorite topic for her when she hit 5 (technically 12). LOL, she used to have a massive crush on Brady, which was so uncomfortable for him. I think Ness sought me out though because I understood what it was like…you know, to not know my place in the world.

3) She loves Jacob – Baby Nessie was a sweetheart who worshipped her best friend Jacob. Adult Ness is everything Jake could have ever wanted in a woman and more. After all the shit that Bella put Jake through, Ness has always treated him like a king and gave him two beautiful kids on top of that. For the happiness that she gave my Alpha, I have nothing but the highest respect and admiration for her.

4) She doesn't put up with any of Jacob's shit – You know how I said Ness treats Jacob like a king? She's also no man's doormat so she gets huge props from me. I like to pretend that it was my influence on her early years that helped make her the strong woman she is today. After all, I am technically her step-aunt. (Yeah, my Alpha is also my step-nephew-in-law...weird, right?) Jacob is a very strong-willed person. Renesmee is his perfect counterpart. Jake tries to throw his weight around and pretend that he's the Alpha in the relationship. When he does, Ness just smiles and says "yes dear" and then Jake does what she wants anyway. It's pretty damn funny to watch actually.

5) Okay, number five is probably the most important to me. I know it might be hard to understand, but believe it or not, Ness became a symbol of hope for me. You see, I never thought I could have children. But when Ness entered the world, healthy and happy, I began to feel a hope I tried to constantly squelch. Every time I saw her though, I felt optimistic for my future. I mean, if Edward freaking Cullen, a guy who's been technically dead for over 100 years, could have kids then maybe there was a chance that I could have kids too someday.

So yeah, I have a lot of respect for my Lil' M…a.k.a., Little Mutant. She's a good mom, loves my Alpha, and thanks to her birth, she gave me optimism and something else that was as equally as important to me…because of her, Jacob made me his beta…

**Chapter 6 – Renesmee**

Leah's POV

"What are you getting so dressed up for?" I eyed my mother suspiciously as she drew up her long hair into a bun. She also had on her favorite shirt and jeans.

"What? I'm not getting dressed up," my mother replied innocently as she sprayed on some perfume all the while humming.

"But you _are_ going somewhere."

"Well, Charlie Swan is coming over. We're going to get some lunch before heading over to the Cullens. You know how freaked out Charlie gets when Renesmee does something too advanced. I like to be there to reassure him and get him through it."

"So what is this?" I asked, beginning to shake slightly as I eyed her outfit. "Is this a date or something?"

"No, it isn't a date. I'm just helping him adjust to everything."

"Why can't Billy help him?"

My mother frowned. "Billy's been a little standoffish lately."

"Maybe it's because Charlie's daughter is a bloodsucking whore who treated Billy's son like shit. Just a thought."

"Yes, well…" my mom reached for some lipstick. "What's done is done. Jacob's happy now that little Renesmee is here."

"And Charlie Swan just happens to need _you_ to interpret things," I said sarcastically.

"Leah, what is the big deal here? Charlie and I have been friends for years. We've gone out before, you know."

"Yeah…with Dad," I replied through gritted teeth, folding my arms defensively across my chest. Dad wasn't even dead seven months and my mother was fucking going out with his best friend.

My mother paled as she looked at me. "It's not what you think."

"You know…what-the-fuck-ever!" I told her, before heading outside.

I was trying very hard not to phase. I was shaking so hard that I had to walk along the edge of the woods in case I needed to hide quickly. My stomach twisted painfully as I thought about my father's last day. If only I hadn't phased in front of him, maybe my mom would be getting ready to go on a date with him instead of friggin Charlie Swan. God, couldn't she wait until the dirt was settled on the grave?

"Hey Leah, wait up."

I sighed as I stopped walking and turned to see Embry Call coming towards me.

"What's up?" Embry asked. "You look really pissed. You heading over to the Cullens or something."

I almost smiled at that. In the month since Renesmee was born, Sam and Jacob had declared peace between each other…well, as much peace as two Alphas could have around one another. Quil and Embry had joined our pack shortly there after with Sam's blessing. Sam's hands were getting pretty full right now anyway. Thanks to the Newborn Army that came to the area a few months ago, a lot of the kids on rez were beginning to show strong signs of changing. From a conversation I'd recently had with Emily, I knew that Tristen Hobucket had already phased. Sam was also keeping an eye on Macaide Pachena, Azra Langley, Ethan Bennett, Rafe Elwah, Will Samson, and surprisingly a kid named Ryan Spencer. Ryan wasn't even 11 yet.

"I'm just out walking," I told Embry. "Where's Quil?"

Embry snickered. "Where do you think?"

I smiled in response. "I should have guessed."

Quil spent all his free time up north in Makah. At night, he'd lay outside of Claire's house like some rabid guard dog. Luckily, Emily had convinced her brother Ronnie and his wife Stacy that Quil was an upstanding guy. They let him babysit their girls while they went off and did errands or went out on dates. I thought they took advantage of him, but Quil never objected once. He was in his element anytime he could be near Claire.

While I was happy that Quil and Embry joined our pack because it made Jacob happy, it was a little nauseating to be in the heads of two guys who'd imprinted on children. They were worse than mother hens. If they weren't complaining about the latest recall to some toy, then they'd go off on hour long discussions about who said the cuter sentence, Claire or Nessie.

"So what are you doing this fine Saturday morning?" I asked Embry.

I had to admit, I had a slight soft spot for Embry, though I tried to hide it under a load of sarcasm whenever we were in wolf form. I just understood the guy. For one thing he seemed like the quiet type, but he made sarcasm an art form, which I could appreciate. But he was such a loner and even though he was a part of this huge wolf family, I could read in his mind of how much he felt like an outsider sometimes. I definitely sympathized with that. Plus, my dad always went out of his way to treat Embry well. I found that I was always a little nicer towards those my father cared about.

"I've got a date," Embry said, giving me a knowing smirk which caused me to groan.

"Please just keep it to yourself. I don't want to see you and your date doing the nasty later on."

"Sure," Embry laughed. "I'll catch you later."

He took off running towards the direction I had just come from. I continued with my walk and found myself headed towards the cemetery. I hadn't been there since the day of my dad's funeral. I made my way over to my father's grave. Grass covered it already but you could still see the outline from where the grave had been dug. The air was moist from the cool fall day. I bent down and picked a couple of fallen leaves off my father's headstone.

"Harry Clearwater, Beloved Husband and Father," I read out loud. "Doesn't seem enough, does it, Dad? You were so much more than that. How about a great leader and friend?"

I blinked the tears away that were suddenly fighting to leave my eyes.

"I miss you so much, Dad," I confessed. "The world just isn't the same without you in it anymore. You were supposed to grow old. I was supposed to pick out a retirement home to stick you in someday. Remember how I used to threaten you with that when you wouldn't give me my way. I'd tell you, 'if you don't do what I want, I'll find you the smelliest, most disgusting place I can find.' I was supposed to have that chance! How could you leave me?"

I wiped at my face and swallowed.

"I know. It wasn't your fault…it was mine. I keep thinking about all the "if onlys." If only I hadn't phased, Seth would still have his dad. If only I hadn't phased, Mom wouldn't be going on a date with fucking Charlie Swan. If only I hadn't phased, we would be working in the store right now talking shit like we always did."

I pressed the heels of my palms to my eyes and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Dad."

Standing up, I looked back down at the headstone.

"You'll be happy to know that I forgave Emily. I'm not saying it doesn't still kill me to know that she's with Sam, but I do get everything now. I don't like it, but I understand. They're getting married in a couple of months. I'm even going to be a bridesmaid. And I'll stand up in their wedding with the biggest friggin smile on my face that this world has ever seen. I'll do that for you, Dad. It's the least I could do for you since I killed you."

Kissing my palm, I pressed it against the headstone and whispered, "Love you, Dad. Miss you more than I thought possible."

I left the cemetery and headed back down the road. I saw Jacob in the distance, walking into the woods. He was probably off to see Renesmee. I figured I might as well see if there was any pack business that needed to be attended to, though there really wasn't much to do. Sam's pack handled patrolling. Still, Seth was working in the store today and I was bored. As long as I didn't have to deal with the leeches, I needed something to distract me.

"Hey Romeo, brush up on your ABCs yet?" I yelled out. If there was one thing I loved to give Jake constant shit for, it was the fact that he imprinted on a kid. Granted, that kid was probably intellectually smarter than Jake and I put together, but I still liked to give him a hard time about it.

Jacob stopped walking and turned to look at me with a roll of the eyes. "Hey nag, I was going to find you later."

"What's up Boss?" I said as I ran over to him.

He started walking again as soon as I reached him. The invisible string pulling him towards his imprint couldn't be denied.

"Listen…Bella, Edward, and I were talking the other day about Nessie's growth rate," Jake said with a frown. I knew that this was something they talked about a lot. I was worried myself. Ness was only a month old and she already looked like a petite one year old.

Jake continued. "Carlisle and Edward have been researching for anything they could find about half-breeds, but there's not a lot of information out there. If we get a lead though, Edward and Bella want to follow it. I told them I want to go with them as anything that pertains to Ness affects me too."

"That's understandable," I said, wondering where he was going with this. If the leeches gave him shit for that, I'd be happy to take a chunk out of any of them. I still owed Bella for hurting my brother after she found out Jake imprinted.

"The thing is," Jake said uncomfortably. "I'd like the pack to protect the rest of the Cullens while I'm gone. Sam's dealing with a lot of potential new wolves right now. If more kids continue to phase, who knows what could happen. What if one attacks a Cullen before Sam can stop them? I can't let that happen."

I nodded in agreement. As much as I hated it, if anything happened to one of the bloodsuckers, then Ness would be in pain. If Nessie was in pain, Jake would hurt, which meant the rest of the pack would suffer right along with them.

My nose started to burn. Looking up, I realized we were getting closer to the Cullen property. I really didn't have any desire to be there, especially if my mother showed up with Charlie Swan.

"Leah," Jake said, interrupting my thoughts. "I want you to be my beta."

That stopped me.

"What?"

"Well, I figured since we're going to keep the pack around for awhile, I need to name my beta. I want you to be it."

"Yeah?" I asked in surprise. I thought he would have picked Quil or Embry, hell, even Seth before he'd ever pick me.

"It's like you said before, a Clearwater probably would have been Alpha, if it weren't for the Blacks." Jake reminded me of a conversation we'd had a few weeks ago. "You're just as qualified as Seth. And I know that you'll protect the Cullens no matter what. You have already. I can't think of anyone more qualified than you."

I looked away, too choked up to respond. I felt…pride. That was a feeling which had been sadly lacking inside me for the past year or so. The fact that Jacob trusted me with the pack meant more than I could ever say.

I nodded, still not looking at him and said casually, "Sure…whatever."

I saw Jake smile at that before he added his own, "Cool then."

I glanced at him and broke out into a huge grin. I lightly punched him on the shoulder. He was about to say something…no doubt sarcastic…when a streak of white came towards us. He opened his arms just as little Nessie jumped up. She snuggled right into his neck, giving him a big hug. She was so full of life. It was hard to imagine that in 15 years, she'd be an old lady. At least that's what Carlisle was projecting.

I watched with sad eyes as Ness touched Jacob's face. What would he ever do without her? They were a complete unit. Jake was so happy just by her existing.

"I missed you too, Nessie," Jake told her, lightly kissing Ness's head. "Did you say hi to Leah?"

She gave me her perfect little grin, which I couldn't resist smiling back at. "Hey Lil' M."

"I wish you wouldn't call her that," Jacob muttered in a disgruntled tone. Ness just rolled her eyes and giggled. She went to pull her hand away from Jake's face, but he suddenly frowned and pressed it to his skin.

"Emmett did what!" Jake suddenly growled. "Nessie, stay with Leah for a second."

He put Renesmee next to me and stalked towards the house. Ness looked at me with worried eyes. She held out her hand to me.

"Uh…no, that's okay." Her voodoo mind tricks still freaked me out.

"Please Leah," Nessie vocalized.

Well hell, I couldn't resist her when she actually spoke. The girl did it so rarely that I felt I had to give in. I took her hand and immediately a flash of Emmett attacking Nessie's stuffed bear flashed through my mind. I snorted. The guy had serious bear issues.

"Why does that upset you?" I asked her. "Didn't you destroy a bear Sam and Emily gave you once?"

Emily had given it to her as a gift. Emmett decided to use it as a teaching tool and wanted to show Ness the finer techniques of hunting. The bear lasted half a day.

Ness touched my hand again and I saw why the toy meant so much to her. Jacob had given it to her, and although she'd rather have had the complete works of Shakespeare, she loved the present because it came from him. Another image flashed through my mind, this time of Jacob walking away from us angrily from Ness's point of view. I felt her worry for him.

"Don't worry, Jake's a big boy." I assured her.

Just as soon as I said that, there was an uproar from inside the house. Jake came flying out the door with what looked like a hand. He chucked it halfway across the yard. Emmett ran past him and grabbed it, holding up the missing appendage to his stub of an arm.

"That hurt, you ass," Emmett roared. "I can't believe you smacked me in the face with my own hand."

"Stop destroying Nessie's stuff," Jake ordered.

Rosalie came running out and crouched into an attack position.

"Ness, go inside," I told her, already getting ready to defend my Alpha. Before I could do anything, Edward came out and grabbed his sister. Jasper followed and the air suddenly became very calm.

"Jacob!" Bella came out of the house with her hands on her hips. "I don't care how upset you get. You don't go ripping off limbs."

Jake sighed. "Fine. I'm sorry Emmett that I ripped your hand off and smacked you in the face with it."

Emmett looked at his newly attached limb, went over to Jacob, and gave him a noogie hard enough that Jake winced.

"Nah, it's cool, man," Emmett joked. "I shouldn't have attacked her bear. He was just staring at me with those beady little eyes and I lost it."

"Well, no one ever denied you had issues," Jake joked, shoving him away. He came back over to where we were standing. Ness was looking at him with wide eyes. Jacob immediately crouched down low.

"I'm sorry I hurt Emmett. I shouldn't have done it. But I knew he'd be okay, otherwise I wouldn't have touched him."

Ness folded her little arms in front of her and glared at Jacob. Jake immediately got down on his knees so that he could be on her eye level. He still managed to tower over her, even hunched over.

"I'm really, _really_ sorry, Nessie."

Ness reached out and touched his face.

"Yes," Jacob said. "I promise I won't do it again."

Ness smiled and curled up against him. Jake stood up, holding her. He kissed her head and whispered, "Thanks Ness."

Just then, Charlie Swan's car pulled into the driveway. I could see my mom laughing at whatever the hell they were discussing. My blood began to boil.

"I gotta go," I told them both. Renesmee reached over and touched my face. I could see myself saying I had to go, followed by a profound sadness. Nessie didn't want me to leave.

"Sorry Lil' M. I'll be around though, okay?" I told her and she happily nodded. With another angry glance at my mother, I took off back towards La Push.

Over the next two months, I watched as Ness continued to grow at an alarming rate. By the time she was three-months-old, she looked like a small two-year-old. The Cullens got a lead regarding Nessie's growth and decided to head to South America. I'd been mentally preparing myself for the day since Jake asked me to be his beta. I was nervous and excited for their trip, but Bella wanted to wait until after the holidays to go.

As we hit December, we got closer to Sam and Emily's wedding which filled me with dread and anticipation. I just wanted the fucking thing over with already. They were going to get married on January 6. I avoided Emily's house at all costs. Emily was getting frazzled over all the last minute details.

Then one day, Jacob came to me completely freaked out. The Volturi were coming to Forks to possibly kill Nessie. Not just a few members either. The entire coven. Two of the Cullens, Alice and Jasper, had already abandoned the family. I vowed to help Jacob in any way I could. Vampires from around the world began to pour into the area to witness Nessie's growth.

The upsurge of bloodsuckers in the area triggered another explosion of wolves on the rez. Aside from Tristen, Sam's pack soon gained Azra, Mac, Ethan, Rafe, Will, and Ryan. They all phased within a couple of weeks of each other. Ryan had just turned 11 the day before it happened to him. Sam began to get overwhelmed. As none of us knew when the Volturi were going to attack, he ended up canceling the wedding. He not only had to deal with Emily's heartbreak, but he also had to prepare his pack for what could be their death.

My pack assisted him with training the newbies. The more experienced wolves had all killed vampires during the Newborn War. Though we weren't sure what would happen when the Volturi came, we wanted everyone to be as prepared as possible.

It was during these training exercises with the other pack that I noticed one new wolf in particular that seemed to watch me all the time. When we weren't working out, Will was always trying to catch my attention or flirt with me. I knew he hadn't imprinted on me, but it was pretty obvious that the guy had a crush on me.

Who knew that such a little crush would cause me to finally hit rock bottom.

* * *

**End Note**

Just in case you're wondering, I don't hate Bella. She's definitely not my favorite character in the series, but I write her in this story with so much hate, because I think that's what Leah's reaction would be to her.

Also, some of you might be wondering when Leah's going to meet Dylan (her love interest). I have a couple more events to show you in her life before we get to that point in the story, but it's coming soon. ;)


	7. Will

_A/N – Just a reminder that this story is M rated. Thanks!_

**Chapter Prologue**

Over time, there have been several theories regarding imprinting. Sam's belief was that a wolf imprinted on the person who could help carry on the genetic line. Billy thought wolves imprinted to make stronger wolves. Personally, I thought they were both onto something. Sam and Emily's son was a prime example of an all powerful wolf. And Jacob and Ness created two of the most powerful hybrids you could ever meet.

There's also another theory when it comes to imprinting. Now, this one is probably the most debatable. You see, some believe that a wolf can become attached or attracted to a family member of their imprintee, even before they meet said imprint. It's the wolf's way of seeking out any connection he can to his soul mate.

This one I'm skeptical about. Then again, I'm also proof that there is some substance to this theory. Let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking about.

Jacob was madly in love with Bella before he imprinted. He would have done anything for that girl. He was even cordial to Edward, though Edward was his natural enemy as well as his competition for the woman they loved. On the night before the Newborn War, they had even agreed that they might have liked each other if there hadn't been so much shit between them.

The question remains though, was Jacob friendly towards Edward because of Bella? Or was he tolerant because on a subconscious level he knew Edward was the father of his imprint? There were several times he wanted to kill Edward, but something always held him back. I don't think even the treaty would have stopped Jake from attacking him if he really wanted to. The same question applies to whether Jacob truly loved Bella for herself, or if he felt such a strong connection to her because somewhere deep inside, his mind recognized that Bella was the mother of his _true_ soul mate.

Now, as I said. I'm not sure if this is indeed a valid theory or not. However, it makes you wonder if there is any truth in it…especially when you look at my situation. Sam loved me and was with me for four years before he imprinted on my cousin. Did he love me for me though, or did his subconscious want to be close to someone who shared the same DNA as his imprint? As much as that idea irks the shit out of me, it has made me wonder more times than I can count over the years if there's any rationale behind it.

Which brings me to Will Samson. As I mentioned before, Will fell in love with me when he was a teenager. I'm not proud of the fact that I slept with him the night of Sam and Emily's wedding, but to be fair, I was _really_ drunk at the time. And like all wolves, though he was technically younger than me, Will was physically 25. Mentally, he was probably a lot older.

You see, Will is what you would call an old soul. He had to grow up very fast at a very young age. His father was an abusive drunk and his mother left the family when he was just a kid. Will never had an easy life, which made his imprint situation that much more heartbreaking.

Will thought he fell in love with me on Sam and Emily's wedding day. When I met him years later at Jake and Ness's wedding, Dylan was already a part of my life. I rejected Will and he finally accepted that we would never happen. He "retired" from the pack and moved to Los Angeles where he became a very successful talent agent.

He'd moved on with his life and after awhile forgot about me. He dated and eventually got a girlfriend pregnant. The woman didn't want to be a mother so she signed over their son, Kyran, to Will and left to concentrate on her acting career (last I heard, she was working in some seedy bar). Will decided he didn't want to raise his son in the Hollywood scene, so he moved back to La Push.

He came back just in time for my niece Maggie's baptism. He looked at her and instantly imprinted. Now like I said before, I fully support child imprints, but even I had to admit that Will's situation was weird.

For one thing, he had stopped phasing at that point. He had to spend some time with the Cullens to get back into wolf form. For another, he had slept with me, his imprint's aunt. And finally, he had a child that was almost a year older than his imprint.

Once Maggie grew up she did fall in love…with Will's son. And Kyran loved her too. He was crazy about her in fact. Right around the time Ky and Maggie became a couple, Will realized that he was finally seeing his imprint as a woman instead of someone to watch over and protect. He was left with the tragic choice of trying to pursue his imprint as he was fated to do, thereby leaving his son heartbroken. Or he had to give up on what was supposed to be the love of his life for the love of his son. There were no winners from that situation. But that's someone else's story to tell.

For me, once I heard about Will's imprinting I began to look at all Quileute guys in a different light. If they showed even the slightest bit of interest in me, even though I was married at that point, I instantly began looking around the area for any female relatives that might be nearby. It was like I had imprint radar. If a wolf wanted me, that meant a relative was about to get a soul mate.

So…do wolves naturally gravitate towards members of their imprint's family? It's debatable but probable. At the time that I slept with Will though, Maggie wasn't even a thought in my head. Hell, I didn't even know her father was my brother.

That night ended up being my wakeup call though. It was what finally made me snap out of the self-involved little world I had placed myself in. Because what I did to Will that night was unforgivable. I used him and then I dropped him. And I didn't give a damn about him or the consequences…

**Chapter 7 - Will**

Leah's POV

I was looking over Sam's left shoulder, keeping my eyes on the ocean as his wedding to Emily droned on. Sam had canceled it last month, because of the Volturi. They had come to Forks last week, saw Renesmee was not one of their "immortal children," and left as quickly as they came. Sam had immediately gotten in contact with Alice Cullen of all people, and she'd helped him surprise Emily with a wedding on the cliffs.

"If there is anyone here who knows why these two shouldn't be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace," the minister said.

I glanced at Sam just as his eyes made contact with mine. He quickly looked away, moving his gaze firmly back down to Emily, but I could see the tension radiating off him. I could also feel the eyes of several other attendees who were watching my every move. All the Cullens had been invited, and I was suddenly hit with a calmness I didn't think was possible…Jasper, no doubt. I went back to looking at the waves rolling in.

The wedding went on and finally they were pronounced man and wife. Sam made a "whoop" noise before he picked Emily up off her feet, kissing her until they were both breathless. Azra, one of the wolves from Sam's pack, had been suckered into playing the cello for the wedding. He began to play music as Sam and Emily hurried down the aisle, making their way out of the tent the wedding had taken place in. I plastered a bright smile on my face and took my brother's arm. Seth was Sam's best man since Sam always thought of him as a brother.

We made our way to the reception which was going to take place at the tribe's welcome center. It was a cold, miserable January day so we hurried to our destination. Once there, we began to eat the catered meal that Alice had organized. Everything went without a hitch. Well, almost everything.

Halfway through dinner I began to drink. I finished off an entire bottle of wine, and before my body's high temperature could burn it off, I finished off another one. Every time someone began clanging on their glass indicating that they wanted Sam and Emily to kiss, I would chug down some more alcohol. It became a twisted drinking game.

The dancing began after dinner. I glanced at the dance floor and saw all the happy imprint couples coming together. Sam and Emily were glued to each other. Quil was cuddling his little imprint Claire. Jake was holding Nessie and spinning her around so fast that it would have made a human throw up. Ness just kept giggling. Jared and Kim…well, they were being their natural selves and making out. And Paul and Rachel, who had only begun dating a few months prior, had their arms around each other, barely rocking back and forth as they stared sappily into each other's eyes. I never thought I'd see the day when Paul Wakeh would be so pussy-whipped. All the love on display in its glorious different forms was beginning to make me feel ill and I went straight to the bar.

"Can I have a vodka, straight?"

The bartender winked at me before filling a little shot glass worth of alcohol.

"Yeah, this isn't going to work for me," I told him, reaching over the bar and grabbing the entire bottle. I pushed the glass out of the way and took the bottle outside where I downed it. My stomach sloshed from the two bottles of wine and the newly consumed vodka, but I was beginning to finally feel a buzz.

"There you are," Jake said, coming out to see me. He eyed the empty bottle suspiciously before his eyes returned to my face. "How you holding up?"

"Well, let's see. The love of my life just married the woman of his dreams. How do you think I feel?"

Jake sighed. "I'm sorry Leah. I know this day hasn't been easy for you."

I shrugged, not looking at him. "That's okay. I have a grand plan."

"Does it involve you getting shit-faced?" Jacob wondered, looking at the bottle again.

"You got it," I told him with a wink, throwing the bottle in the snow bank near the entrance.

"Well, before you get too trashed to the point that you can't stand anymore, you wanna dance?"

I looked at his friendly expression and felt all the fight leave me. I suddenly felt very old and very tired.

"Yeah, okay."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder in a carefree manner and practically dragged me onto the dance floor. The song was a fast one. He spun me around and basically made me laugh my ass off as he showed off some of the worst dance moves I'd ever seen. Seth, Embry, and Quil soon joined us and we had a mini pack dance off. People backed off the floor and watched us as each of my pack brothers took their turns throwing me, spinning me, and dipping me. Our fun was soon over as Emily and Sam came out on the floor to do their "first" official dance as husband and wife. I went straight back to the bar and grabbed a bottle of rum. The bartender raised in an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I grumbled. I tried to be more conspicuous and grabbed a glass. I took everything with me and went back to my table. I had the bottle finished off in five minutes. At this point, the room was starting to spin.

"Leah, do you want to dance?"

I looked up and saw Will Samson standing next to me, his ears slightly red. He really was a cute kid. I frowned as I found myself really looking at him. He wasn't a kid though. He was physically and mentally much older.

"Sure, why not," I finally said.

"Great," he replied, a bright smile appearing on his handsome face.

Once we got on the dance floor, he pulled me close to him. He had a very attractive scent, like freshly hung linen. I moved my head and took a deep breath. He stiffened slightly.

"You smell weally good," I said and then found myself looking confused. Did I just say weally? I giggled briefly at the idea.

"You smell really nice too," Will said, moving his head against my hair. "You smell like lilies."

"I do?" I whispered, pulling my head back to look at him.

"Yeah, you do," he stared back at me. I was about to reach up to cup his face when Alice announced that the bride and groom were leaving.

I took a step back and shook my head. The floor tilted slightly and I probably would have fallen over if Will hadn't reached out and steadied me.

"You okay?" He asked, looking at me with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thirsty," I murmured and headed to the bar again.

"What's it this time?" The bartender asked. I pointed to the bottle of apple pucker behind him. Shaking his head, he handed it to me. I didn't even try to hide it as I drank straight from the bottle. It took about five gulps and it was down. I leaned against the bar for a moment as I felt my entire face go numb. Perfect.

I turned around and saw Will sitting at a table with some of the other newer wolves, Ryan, Azra, and Tristen.

"Hey," I said, wobbling over. "You wanna dance again?"

"Sure," Will said, a smile tugging at his mouth. I heard Ryan and Azra begin to snicker. Tristen did a cat call. I just rolled my eyes.

We began dancing slowly to the music. I pressed myself against him and he wrapped his warm arms around me. God, it had been forever since a man had held me. I move my head and casually ran my teeth along the pulse line of his throat. He shuddered and I felt him harden against my stomach.

"You wanna get outta here?" I murmured. His eyes widened before he nodded quickly grabbing my hand and leading me outside. I giggled when I felt the cold winter air hit me.

"Where do you want to go?" Will asked, eyeing my breasts which were currently being pushed up by the red bridesmaid's dress I was wearing.

"C'mon," I said, leading him into the woods.

We walked at an inhuman pace until we were at _the_ spot. The place where Sam and I had first had sex. It was the place where Sam had injured Emily. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that Sam would see what was about to happen…probably the next time he patrolled with Will. I second guessed myself briefly. And then I remembered that I just watched Sam take off on his honeymoon with my cousin. He was probably going to do to her tonight what I had the chance to do with Will.

All thoughts left my head as Will came up behind me and pulled my back against his chest. He reached around me and cupped my breasts with shaking hands. He fumbled a little bit so I moved my hands over his and showed him what I liked.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he ran his tongue along my earlobe before pulling on it gently. I suddenly realized that I was not only drunk, but extremely horny.

"Will, unzip my dress for me," I told him. He pulled on the zipper and I felt the constricting garment fall away. We went back to the pose we had been in before. This time Will's one hand moved underneath my panties. He seemed to hesitate as though he wasn't quite sure what to do. A thought occurred to me.

"Have you ever had sex before?" I murmured. He was silent for a moment.

"No," he finally whispered shamefully. I thought again about how I shouldn't be doing this, but right in that moment, his one hand grabbed the peak of my breast and twisted it hard. It brought a pleasurable pain that shot through my body straight to the very core of me.

"Again," I instructed and he pulled.

I threw my head back and he continued with his administrations. I finally took his hand that was still hovering in my underwear and moved it so that he was touching me intimately.

"Like this." I showed him how to pleasure me and I was soon shaking with need.

I took his finger and pressed it to my entrance. Together, we brought me to a climax that sent me flying. I pulled away and turned so that I was facing him. I reached down and undid his pants, pushing them out of the way, along with his briefs. I got down on my knees and took him in my mouth, tasting and teasing him. When I knew he was getting close, I stopped. I got up and went over to a tree and put my hands against it. I looked coyly at Will over my shoulder. He was next to me in an instant. I felt his hardness against my bottom and I turned back to face the bark.

I suddenly realized that this wasn't just any tree. I had taken this position with Sam before on this exact tree. I smiled widely as I parted my legs. I felt Will place himself at my entrance. He began to move inside me with all the carelessness of someone who'd never done this before. He moved at a frantic pace and before I could even begin to enjoy it, he thrust once…twice…and then exploded.

"Shit…I'm sorry," he muttered, as he began to pull out.

"That's okay," I said, straightening. I looked down at his softening member. "You're young still."

I was suddenly hit with a brilliant idea.

"You don't mind snow, do you?" I asked.

When he shook his head, I grabbed his shirt and spread it out before pushing him until he was lying on the ground. The snow began to steam around us as I positioned myself next to him. Reaching down, I grabbed him at the base and held him tightly. He began to squirm and moan as he stiffened. God bless wolves and their ability to recover quickly. I began to move my hand up and down until he was all but thrashing on the ground. When I felt confident he wouldn't lose control again, I climbed on top of him and positioned him so that he was inside me. I began to rock up and down, keeping the pace slow and steady. He reached up and grabbed my breasts, squeezing them hard like I loved. It was enough to send me over the edge. I felt a tightening in my stomach as I clenched his arousal. He soon spurted inside me. Pulling away, I repositioned myself so that I was lying to his side.

Will kissed me sleepily a couple of times on my forehead before drifting off to sleep. As I stared at him, I suddenly began to feel sick. The alcohol started to roll inside me.

_What had I done?_

I pulled away, careful not to disturb him. I grabbed my dress and took off running. I got about a mile away before I threw up all the liquid inside my stomach. With shaking hands, I got dressed and made my way home. I entered the house as quietly as I could, heading straight to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth. I climbed into the shower next and just stood under the water. Feeling sick with myself, I took a washcloth and began to scrub at my skin. I felt so dirty.

I had used an innocent kid for revenge. I deliberately took Will to the spot that had meant so much to Sam and me. I let Will take me in a way that Sam had actually taught me. I felt wretched. I scrubbed my skin until it was raw. Turning, I shut the water off and wrapped a towel around me. I looked at my skin but there were no marks that showed either my excursion outside or my efforts to cleanse myself.

I went to bed and just stared at the wall. My stomach was too tense to sleep. I felt like it was the calm before the storm. I knew I was going to have to deal with the consequences of my actions. And I was right.

I spent the week that Sam and Emily were gone, working in the store. I didn't phase once the entire time and Jake didn't really push me about it. A day after Sam and Emily had returned from their honeymoon, I was heading towards the Cullen house to check in with Jacob, when I ran into Sam.

"Hey," I muttered guiltily, looking anywhere but at him. "How was the honeymoon?"

"What the hell are you doing, Leah?" Sam asked, cutting straight to the point.

I stiffened and went on the offensive. "I don't really see how it's any of your business who I sleep with."

"It is when it's a member of my pack," Sam snapped.

"What's the matter, Sam? Jealous?" I asked bitchily.

Sam's hands clenched shakily to his sides. He took a deep breath and it looked like he was trying very hard not to phase on my ass.

"Leah," he finally said through gritted teeth. "I don't give a flying fuck if you sleep with the entire Seattle Seahawks football team."

I felt my face heat. I wanted to cry because I knew that though Sam was pissed, he wasn't kidding either. He really didn't care. He had moved on. I wished I could do the same.

"In fact, if you want to sleep with half the tribe, be my guest," Sam continued. "And if you're serious about Will, then I won't say another word. But if you slept with him for some petty bullshit reason, then grow the fuck up. He thinks he's in love with you. He's suffering because you've refused to speak to him. And because he's in pain, it's affecting my entire pack. No one can patrol because of Will. Is that what you want? Did you want to destroy the only pack that's left to protect La Push, because you, yourself hate the wolves so much? Does this make you happy?"

"No," I finally whispered, my face paling.

"Then give the kid a break and cut him loose," Sam said firmly, looking at me with absolute loathing before he turned and headed back towards home.

I looked down at the ground, feeling sick all over again. I heard some twigs snap and my head shot up. Jacob was looking at me with solemn eyes.

"You okay?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No."

"C'mon. Emmett taught Nessie how to play poker. We can play a few games," Jake said, putting an arm around me and pulling me towards the Cullen house. My nose wrinkled in disgust as I smelled the stench of bloodsucker. Normally, I wouldn't set 10 feet within that place, but I felt like this was my penance. Before we got to the porch, I stopped moving. Jake turned and looked at me with concerned eyes.

"I really fucked up," I acknowledged.

"Yeah…you did," Jacob agreed. "But you'll fix it, Lee."

I spent the rest of the day playing cards with Renesmee, who looked like she wasn't even old enough for kindergarten, but could cheat at poker like a pro. The next day I was working in my parents' store when Will walked in.

"Hey," he said, his cheeks a little red.

"Hi," I replied, sighing slightly.

"Do you maybe want to go out after you get done with work tonight?" Will asked hopefully.

"Will, listen," I started to say. He came over to the counter and tried to grab my hands. I pulled them back and continued, "You're a very sweet guy and I enjoyed our evening together--"

"I did too," he interrupted.

"It's not going to happen again though," I finally told him bluntly. "You're a very sweet guy, but I'm not looking to get into a relationship right now."

"Is it because of the age gap?" Will asked, trying so hard not to show how much I'd hurt him.

"No," I explained softly. "It's because you're a wolf."

"So are you though," Will replied in confusion.

"Someday you could imprint--"

"That's not going to happen. I love you, Leah," Will said earnestly.

"No, you're in lust with me. That's not the same thing." When he went to interrupt again, I shook my head and finished what I had to say.

"You're a wolf and no matter how much you might think you love me now, there's always the possibility that you or I could imprint. I've already been down that road with Sam. He loved me. He was going to marry me even. And one chance encounter with Emily changed all our lives forever. I'm not going to risk my heart on another wolf. I won't, Will. I'm sorry, because I never wanted to hurt you, but you and I are never going to happen."

"Oh…" Will whispered. "Oh, I see."

He tried to smile, but it was a weak effort. He turned and headed towards the door. Before he went out, he looked back at me.

"I'm not going to give up on you."

"Then you're a fool," I told him coldly.

I waited until he was out of earshot, before I locked the door to the store and put up the "closed" sign. I then sat down on the floor and cried.

I decided in that moment that I needed a change of scene. Maybe it was time to go away to college. Yet, I couldn't leave my pack. I owed it to Jake to stay around. The Volturi had only been out of the area for a couple of weeks now. What if they came back?

It wasn't until a few weeks later that I finally got the sign I needed that it was time to leave La Push. It came in the form of Emily.

Emily got some news that I knew would happen one day, though I never expected it so soon.

She was pregnant.

_A/N – For those of you who've read my other stories, you know who Emily's baby is. ;)_

_**Please review!**_


	8. Nathaniel

**Announcements**

**1) Blog**

As I mentioned in a recent update of my other story, I'm currently working on an original story that I'd like to get published someday. I decided to write a blog which will show you each step of my progress. For example, I'll add any information I find out about getting published, tips, etc. I'm hoping that the information will prove useful to other people in my situation (by that I mean, other potential authors). If you want to follow my blog, the address is:

http://ksnovels(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

**2) Nomination**

I'm very excited to announce that I've been nominated for a Silent Tear Award for my story, "Forbidden Imprint (Embry's Story)." Thanks to everyone who nominated it! If you'd like to vote for it, you'll find it under the "Forbidden Love" category. Thanks everyone for your support!!!

http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

**Chapter Prologue**

Nathaniel Harrison Uley entered the world on October 10, 2007. Ironically, he was one year and one month younger than Renesmee Cullen. Yet when he grew up, he imprinted on Ness and Jacob's daughter, Meena.

Meena was technically 10 at the time the imprint occurred, though physically 15. Nate had been a few months shy of his 16th birthday. Meena and her twin brother, Gabriel, matured quickly like Renesmee, though their growth wasn't as fast because they were only a quarter vampire.

Like most imprints, Nate didn't have an easy time. I know what you're thinking. Another imprint problem…really? The answer is yes. Did you think that imprinting gave a wolf an easy all access pass? Of course not. Just because a wolf imprints, it doesn't mean that everything is suddenly handed to them on a silver platter. Sam and Emily are a prime example of that. Emily rejected Sam right after he imprinted on her and look what happened. Emily still bears the scars of that rejection.

As I've shown you, nothing in life is ever simple or easy. People have to work for their happiness. Wolves might be immortal if they choose to be, but their hearts still beat. Blood still runs through their veins. In other words, we're still human with human faults and flaws. And humans are unfailingly imperfect. So naturally things between a wolf and their soul mates get messed up.

Imprinting basically just tells the wolf, _here she is, the one you're supposed to be with._ The wolf has to work to make the girl fall in love with him. (I laugh as I write this. I love my brothers, but some have zero game when it comes to being a lady's man…hence the reason imprinting gets so messed up.)

Nate's imprinting should have been simple enough. He became an Alpha as soon as he phased. By imprinting on Meena (who was an Alpha's daughter), the two were destined to bring the two separate Alpha lines back together and provide the tribe with one true heir. Clean cut enough, right?

The one teeny tiny little glitch in that scenario was the fact that Meena's brother Gabriel inherited the Alpha power from Jacob just as Nate inherited it from Sam. Remember what I said before about two Alphas not being able to be around each other without wanting to kill one another? Let's just say, there was a lot of bad blood between the two boys and poor Meena was forced in the middle on more than one occasion.

I always liked Nate myself. And strangely enough, Emily's pregnancy brought us closer together. I think I'm a lot like my half-brother that way. We both have masochistic tendencies. I didn't want to be near her, but I couldn't make myself stay away either. I was fascinated with Emily's belly as it grew. I used to talk to Nate all the time while he was in the womb.

And strangely enough, my relationship with Sam improved while Emily was pregnant as well. After he ripped into me for sleeping with Will, an unspoken truce formed between us. It had a lot to do with the fact that while Sam was disgusted with me for the revenge sex, he was even more infuriated with Will for sleeping with an obviously intoxicated woman. If that hadn't been bad enough, for several months afterwards, Will kept reliving what took place between us whenever he was in wolf form. I didn't blame him for that. That's just the way guys are. But I started receiving unwelcome remarks from his pack brothers. As soon as Sam learned about their harassment, he nipped that shit in the butt. He issued an Alpha order that they weren't allowed to discuss what took place between me and Will ever again, and they certainly couldn't approach me about it.

So like I said, tensions eased between Emily, Sam, and me. I'd even allow myself the occasional dream where I was Emily about to start a family. But I wouldn't allow myself to picture Sam as the father. Seeing him constantly hover over Emily while she carried his child was exactly what I needed to help finally let him go.

I wanted someone else…someone who wasn't Quileute. My greatest fear was that I'd fall in love with a guy on the rez again, and they'd suddenly phase and imprint on someone else. I couldn't go through that again. But my lack of male options while I lived on the rez didn't stop me from wanting kids. Nate's birth only made my yearning for one grow stronger.

You know, while I was fond of Nate, I always had a softer spot in my heart for Sam and Emily's daughter, Gracie who was born a year and a half after her brother. Emily asked me to be her godmother. At that point in my life, I had already found Dylan so I accepted.

How to explain Gracie? To be blunt, Gracie was a hellion. She had attitude and didn't give a fuck what anyone thought. I used to joke with Emily that we were given the wrong children. My daughter is like Emily, quiet yet strong. Gracie was like me, wild and carefree. She gave both her parents more than a few gray hairs. Unlike Nate.

When Nate was little, he was a quiet boy and as perfect a child as you could get. He would've rather have spent his time on his computer playing games or reading a book than going out and causing trouble. To look at him when he was a kid, you would have never guessed that someday he would be one of the most powerful wolves to ever exist.

Nate was something much more important to me though then being a future Alpha wolf. Nate's birth was finally what gave me the courage to retire from the pack and to say goodbye to La Push…

**Chapter 8 - Nathaniel**

Leah's POV

The phone next to my bed began to ring persistently. I looked at the clock through blurry eyes. It was only 7 AM. What the hell?

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"Leah, it's Sam."

I shot straight up in my bed. Emily was due next week to have her baby. Had she gone into labor? Sam sounded a little panicky.

"Is Emily all right?"

"Yeah, she's okay. Listen…I have a huge favor to ask," Sam replied hesitantly.

"What is it?"

"I've been called into an emergency meeting with Billy and Sue. Port Angeles wants to divert some of the tribe's water supply to their city. I've got to be in a meeting all day to fight it and my mother's out of town. Would you be willing to stay with Emily? I don't like leaving her for long periods of time when she's so close to her due date and--"

"Sam, calm the fuck down," I interrupted his babbling, running my hand tiredly over my face. "I'll be over as soon as I can."

Sam's sigh of relief could be heard through the phone. "Thank you, Leah."

"Sure," I yawned. "Give me 20 minutes."

I hung up and took a quick shower before changing into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Even though it was October, I didn't need anything heavy. I went downstairs and grabbed a bagel. It would tie me over until I got to Emily's. She had been "nesting" like crazy lately, trying out new recipes and re-organizing her kitchen numerous times. Sam once remarked that he couldn't find a particular food he was looking for and Emily almost ripped his head off. He learned quickly enough after that not to mess with a woman who was pretty much carrying a watermelon inside her.

I made my way over to their home. They had moved to a new place just a few months ago as their former home wasn't big enough for the new baby. Sam already childproofed everything he could. I knocked on the front door, before letting myself in. Sam met me in the hallway.

"Leah, thank you again for doing this. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"Sure, sure," I yawned again, unconsciously using Jacob's favorite saying.

"Listen, I'll have my cell phone on vibrate. If anything happens, give me a call. If you can't get a hold of me, text me. That might be a better idea since--"

"Sam, will you get out of here already."

"Right," Sam nodded, looking worriedly towards the stairs. "Em's sleeping right now. She made some banana nut muffins last night if you want anything."

"Okay," I mumbled, more interested in finding the couch so I could crash on it.

"All right…I'm off," Sam informed me heading towards the door.

"Good luck. Don't let Port Angeles dick you around."

"Never," Sam said determinedly before walking out the front entrance.

I went into the kitchen, wolfed down two of Emily's muffins followed by a huge glass of milk, before making my way into the living room. I sprawled out on the couch and closed my eyes. I don't think I had even gotten comfortable yet, when I heard Emily moving around upstairs.

"Sam?" Emily called out.

"He had an emergency meeting in Port Angeles," I told her, walking up the stairs.

"So he called you over to babysit? Jeez, he's worse than my mother sometimes."

"You're his imprint. Being overly protective comes with the territory," I told her as I saw her. Damn, she was as huge as a house.

"I guess," Emily grumbled, rubbing her back. "I think I'm going to take a shower."

"You okay?"

"Just slept wrong and it doesn't help that I'm carrying so much extra weight."

"True," I smiled at her, before heading down the stairs.

Emily came down an hour later wearing a long sleeved one piece dress. She went into the kitchen before joining me in the living room. She put her feet up on the chair ottoman and began to pick at her muffin.

"I had a dream about you last night," Emily informed me.

"Yeah? Did I end up filthily rich, married to some old sugar daddy?"

Emily laughed. "No, but you were married surrounded by a bunch of kids."

I frowned. As much as I learned to care for Emily again and was trying my best to let go of the past, this was one area of topic I didn't want to discuss with her.

"That was some dream then," I replied nonchalantly.

"You know, Ronnie knows this guy that I think might be good for you…"

That was the biggest problem with couples. They wanted everyone else to be happy and lovey-dovey too. What the fuck next? Double dates with her and Sam?

I took a deep breath. Nope, I wasn't going to go there. I was going to be calm and not bitter. It was my new thing. Jared's fiancée Kim was all into Zen and shit. She'd been trying to teach me lately. I was trying my best to not lose my temper. Less anger meant less phasing.

"Em, I'm not interested in dating one of your brother's friends. Thanks though."

"All right," Emily said, trying not to look too disappointed. "I know given the circumstances you might not believe me, but I just want you to be happy, Leah."

"I know you do, Em." I swallowed. We never really discussed what happened before. I didn't want to talk about it now either. I changed the subject to something related to the baby. Emily, taking my cue, began discussing her favorite topic. Around lunch, Emily said she was hungry.

"You want me to get you something?" I asked, watching as she rubbed her back again.

"No, that's okay," she replied, waddling her way into the kitchen.

Minutes later, I heard what sounded like a water balloon crashing to the ground.

"Leah," Emily groaned. I ran into the kitchen to find Emily hunched over the kitchen chair. There was a patch of water underneath her and more was running down her legs.

"Oh shit!" I shrieked, running over to her. "Do you need anything? Should I clean that up? What should I do, Emily?"

"Take a deep breath," Emily responded, also breathing deeply. "We need to get to the hospital in Forks. Can you get my overnight bag for me? It's upstairs next to the bed."

"Okay," I nodded, looking down at the water again, before running up the stairs at an inhuman speed. "Shit, shit, shit!"

I dialed Sam's number but only got his voicemail.

"Emily's in labor!" I yelled before hanging up and running back downstairs. Emily was mopping up the mess on the floor.

"Are you crazy?" I asked, taking the mop out of her hands and throwing it across the room. "Let's go."

"I didn't want to leave a mess," Emily mumbled, allowing me to put my arm around her waist as I escorted her outside and into my car.

Every time Emily winced, I freaked out. She was practicing her Lamaze the entire drive. As soon as we got to the hospital, I wrapped my arm around her waist and practically carried her in. It wasn't really a hospital but rather an elaborate clinic. The first doctor I saw was Dr. Cullen.

"Oh hell no," I muttered.

"Hello to you too, Leah," Carlisle chuckled before looking at Emily. "How far are the contractions?"

"Coming…every ten minutes," Emily panted.

"Let's get you set up in a room then," he told her calmly before looking at me. "Where's Sam?"

"He had a meeting. I'm going to try to get a hold of him again," I told them both.

"Fine," Carlisle nodded. A nurse came over and put Emily in a wheelchair and rolled her into a room down the corridor. I followed not wanting to leave my cousin alone with Dr. Fang for too long.

I quickly sent Sam a text. _Emily's in labor. At the Forks hospital. GET YOUR ASS HERE!_

I went to go into Emily's room, but was stopped by a nurse. I was told I needed to put on a hospital cover up so that the environment would be sterilized for the baby. Quickly getting myself ready, I went into her room.

Emily was sweating when she looked at me. "Sam?"

"I had to leave him another message."

Emily nodded before squeezing her eyes shut. "Oh shit!"

"Here, grab my hand. You won't hurt me," I told her and Emily took hold of me. Now, considering I was a wolf, I seriously underestimated the pain of a woman in labor. I was pretty sure I heard something in my pinky snap as Emily squeezed hard.

"Did they give you something for the pain?" I asked.

"No, the labor's too far advanced," Emily cried.

"Fuck that," I yelled, before looking at Dr. Cullen. "Are you some kind of sadist or something?"

Before he could answer, Sam came flying into the room.

"I knew it…I just had a feeling that something was off." Sam hurried over to the opposite side of the bed from where I was standing. He grabbed Emily's other hand and bent to quickly kiss her lips. "Then I got Leah's message and got here as soon as I could."

"Sam." Emily sighed in relief.

"Emily, we're going to have you start pushing now," Dr. Cullen said. Sam looked over and finally realized who the attending doctor was.

"Where's your obstetrician?" Sam asked, filled with panic.

"Didn't have time to call him," Emily explained.

"Sam, he's fine," I assured him before giving Sam a warning glance in Emily's direction.

"Sure, everything is perfect," he agreed, all the while keeping a close eye on Carlisle.

"All right Emily, I need you to start pushing now," the doc said.

"Listen, I'm going to leave you two alone," I told them.

Emily gripped my hand tighter. "Don't leave. Please."

Right in that moment, Emily was the cousin I'd always loved like a sister. She was terrified and she needed me. I briefly forgot about everything that had gone on between us.

"Okay." I assured her with a nod.

The labor went on for another half hour before we heard a baby's cry.

"Say hello to your son," Dr. Cullen said. He placed the baby on Emily's belly.

"Look at our son," Emily murmured to Sam with tears in her eyes.

I glanced at Sam and frowned. He looked really pale. If he didn't faint, I was pretty sure he might throw up. I knew that imprints felt the same pain as their imprintees and the fact that Emily just gave birth naturally probably hadn't been easy on Sam.

"You gonna pass out there, Sam?" I asked.

He shook his head before reaching out to run a shaking hand over his child's wet hair.

"Happy birthday Nathaniel," Emily murmured, kissing his head.

"Nathaniel? Is that his name?" I questioned.

"Nathaniel Harrison Uley. We wanted to give him the name Harrison in honor of Uncle Harry. I mean, Harry's real name, Henry, should go to one of your kids, but I hope Harrison's all right?" Emily wondered.

I nodded, too choked up to say anything. I swallowed and finally said, "I think Dad would have really liked that."

I reached out and touched Nathaniel's incredibly tiny hand. "Welcome to the family, Nathaniel Harrison."

They took the baby away for a moment and returned him minutes later in a tightly bound blanket. Sam climbed on the bed and held both his wife and child. Their family was now complete.

I suddenly felt drained as I stared at them. I was tired of being angry all the time. I felt exhausted from always being so bitter. All I wanted now was peace.

And something else dawned on me in that moment. Sam's chapter in my life was truly at an end. It was time for me to move on. I never felt surer about anything in my life. In fact, the idea of moving on suddenly filled me with an excitement that I hadn't experienced in a long time. For the first time in years, I felt alive again.

"Listen, I'm going to leave you two alone," I told them. "Congratulations."

I bent down and kissed Emily's cheek before kissing the top of Nathaniel's head.

"Thank you Leah, for everything," Emily said tiredly.

"Sure thing, Cuz," I winked at her before leaving.

I was out the door and halfway down the hallway when I heard someone call my name. Turning, I saw Sam hurrying over to me.

"Thank you for what you did in there. I know this had to be hard. I really appreciate you being there for Em though."

I shrugged indifferently before saying, "She's my family. And so is your son. It wasn't a problem."

"I know, it's just…thank you."

I looked at Sam, really inspecting his face for the first time in years. He seemed so different to me now. He wasn't my Sam anymore…he was hers.

I nodded, simply stating, "You're welcome."

Turning, I began to walk again. I didn't look back. I didn't need too. There was no point in looking behind anymore. I ran into my mother in the parking lot.

"How'd the meeting go?" I asked.

"Never mind that. How's Emily?"

"She and the baby are doing well," I told her. I decided that Emily could tell her that they were giving Nathaniel a middle name in honor of my dad.

"How are you holding up?" My mom asked.

I smiled slightly before saying, "You know? I think I'm going to be just fine, Mom."

My mother eyed me carefully. "What is it?"

My mother could always read me so well.

"It's time for me to go."

"Go?"

"When school starts for winter semester, I'm going to enroll. I've already been accepted at the University of Washington in Seattle."

"What about the pack?"

"Jake's usually with Renesmee at this time of the day. I think I'm going to head over to the Cullens' place right now and let him know. Then I'm going to spend the next couple of months trying not to phase. If I'm successful, I'm going to retire from pack life."

"Are you sure this is what you want, Leah?"

I glanced back at the hospital and felt a smile break on my face. I turned back to my mom.

"Definitely."

Still smiling, I got in my car and drove away, my future uncertain.

But I knew one thing with absolute certainty.

My life was about to change forever.

**End Note**

If you'd like to find out more about Nate Uley, Meena, Gabriel, and Gracie, I'm currently writing their story, called "Stormy Imprint (Second Generation)."

Please don't forget to check out my blog and vote for Forbidden if you get a chance. :)

**And please review!** I know the past few chapters have been kind of depressing…they were the lowest points in Leah's life. I'm excited though to reach this point in the story. Leah's going to finally break away from La Push and start living her life.


	9. Whitney

A/N – As I told some of you in my replies to your reviews, I really look at this story as being in two parts. The first half was Leah's time in the pack. It was a very dark, miserable time for her. LOL, if you're still reading the story at this point, thanks for sticking through all her pain. As one reader astutely put it, it seemed like I was beating up on Leah and that was true. From what we know of the SM books, she went through hell. She lost Sam, her dad, phased, and lost her femininity all within a short time. I just embellished on her problems. :D

So now we're entering the second half of this story. From this point on, it will focus on Leah the woman. Remember, each chapter is like a one shot. She's showing you the most significant parts of her life. And her time away from the pack is going to be emotional, happier, and yet very conflicted. I hope you enjoy this time in Leah's life!

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**Chapter Prologue **

Have you ever heard the horror stories about college roommates? You know, you move in with someone, think they're normal, and then one afternoon you come home to find them sleeping in their closet with a cat?

I was pretty sure when I met Whitney Neh that I had been assigned to live with a complete whack-job. She was a straight A student, obsessive compulsive neat freak who listened to country music, and only country music, 24/7. Now, I've never cared for that kind of craptastic music. It sounds like a bunch of rednecks whining about their dogs and pickup trucks all the time. I shit you not; I tried giving her music a chance once for the sake of our living relationship. The first song I listened to was about a guy who drove by his girlfriend's house and someone else's pickup truck was in her driveway. It was the perfect stereotype and my last endeavor into the world of country music.

Me, I'm the kind of girl who listens to anything rock. Give me Led Zeppelin, The Who, Guns-N-Roses…you know, good music. My musical taste was completely opposite of my roommate's. And that wasn't the only difference.

I grew up middle class. Whitney grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth. (Would you believe that her dad is some kind of big shot country music producer out of Nashville?) Whitney was preppy. If I could find a t-shirt that didn't have a hole in it from my time of running around in the woods, I was good. It took her two hours to get ready for classes in the morning. If I remembered to brush my hair before leaving the dorm, I was happy. Whitney was in a sorority. I avoided "Greek" life at all costs. So you can see why I thought I'd have issues with my roommate.

Who knew that Whitney would someday be the next greatest love of my life? Whitney is my heterosexual life mate, my sister from another mister. She's not only my business partner, but she's my best friend. She's my voice of reason when I need it, and the one who tells me to relax and have fun when I'm being too cautious. Whitney was exactly the kind of person I needed to meet after leaving the craziness of the pack. I seriously don't know where I'd be without my Whits (pun intended).

Friendship wasn't the only thing she did for me though. You see, it was through Whitney that I met her boyfriend, Miguel. Miguel was so fun loving and crazy, any remaining reservations I had for my roommate quickly melted away when I met him. After all, she couldn't be a bad person if she was with someone like him.

It was because of Whitney and Miguel that I ended up going to this stupid party Miguel's frat had given one weekend. And it was at said party that I was introduced to this really random guy named Dylan Gordon…

**Chapter 9 – Whitney**

Leah's POV

If my goal was to arrive on my college campus as inconspicuous as possible, I failed miserably. That had a lot to do with the fact that my pack brothers insisted on helping me move into my dorm. A bunch of really tall, muscular, native guys, running around in t-shirts in the middle of winter did not go unnoticed by the student population. But when Jacob and the boys volunteered to help me move into my dorm, I couldn't protest. And I didn't want to.

The truth was, now that the moment to finally break away and have a normal life had arrived, I was scared shitless. It had been almost two years since I became a wolf. I couldn't even remember my life before that. But I knew this is what I needed.

After Emily gave birth to Nate, I went straight to see Jacob and told him I was done. He had been so understanding too. He'd told me he knew this day was coming soon. He had felt me growing more and more restless as Emily's pregnancy had progressed.

I think Renesmee took the idea of me leaving harder than Jacob. She didn't want me to go and made me promise to email her as much as I could. The fact that Nessie, (who was physically around six now), knew more about email and the Internet than I did, just proved to me how truly out of touch with this world I had become.

"Which dorm is yours again?" Seth asked as he carried my box of CDs.

I looked down at the map I'd been given. "McCarty."

"Damn, I might have to come visit you, Leah," Embry remarked. "Look at all the ladies…oh wait, Jake and Quil _can't_ look at them."

"Shove it, Call," Quil replied in a light tone. He didn't really care. It didn't matter to him one bit that most of the female population had gone blurry to him the moment he imprinted on Claire. As long as he had his imprint, he was good. Same with Jake.

"So, I guess that just means more for me and you, eh Seth?" Embry stated.

"Yeah," Seth said, looking around. In a completely serious tone, he added, "Maybe I'll finally get a girlfriend."

The guys groaned. Quil shook his head. "Seth, never tell anyone you're a wolf. It would totally ruin our reps as hot commodities."

"Stop picking on my brother," I told them, my eyes still focused on the map.

"I think we're here, Leah," Jake said, nodding at the imposing structure in front of us. Taking a deep breath, I entered the building.

"O-M-G, you must be Leah Clearwater." A girl came flying over to me from behind a desk that was near the main entrance. She had keys in her hand. If this was my roommate, I was out of here. She had blond hair, blue eyes, and was way too fucking peppy.

"I'm your resident advisor, Barbie," she told me to my great relief, handing me the keys. "If you have any problems, let me know."

"Okay, thanks," I mumbled.

"Barbie, are you heading out for some food?" another blond came running over with a redheaded girl.

"Yes, I just have to finish greeting our new student here. Girls, meet Leah Clearwater. She's new on our floor," Barbie said, before pointing first to the blond then the redhead. "This is Bridget and Brenna."

"Hi there," the girls said in cheerful unison. They were like freaking Stepford Wives. I heard Embry snort behind me.

"And who are these guys?" Brenna asked, her face alight with interest.

"Um, this is my brother Seth," I said, pointing to Seth, whose ears were red. "And these are my friends Jake, Quil, and Embry."

"Those boxes look heavy," Bridget remarked in a flirty tone. "Not that you boys seem to be having trouble with them."

"Nope, not at all," Embry said with a wink. All three girls' hearts sped up in response.

"Could you tell me which way my room is?" I asked, eager to get out of this situation.

"It's right down that hall," Barbie told me, pointing over her shoulder.

"Thanks," I nodded, before heading in that direction. We were a little ways a way before we heard the girls shrieking.

"O-M-G, those guys are so hot!" Brenna said.

"Totally," I heard Barbie reply, before more shrieking occurred. I kept my eyes focused on the door numbers. I was just waiting. I knew one of the guys would make a comment. Jacob didn't disappoint.

"Wow Leah, are you sure _higher _education is really the place for you?" he snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I muttered.

"Like, O-M-G Leah, like your attitude like sucks," Embry joked.

"Yeah, you think?" I nodded an agreement before walking over and punching his arm. I was lucky he didn't drop any of my things. He bruised momentarily before the skin instantly healed.

"They seemed nice," my brother said.

"And if you combined their brain cells, you might actually get a full functioning human," Embry snickered.

"Ahh, leave Seth alone," Quil interjected. "I bet one of those girls would sleep with him. Maybe Sethie here can finally get laid. "

"Jeez, shut up Quil." Seth looked around, instantly embarrassed. Seth hadn't had many opportunities with the opposite sex since becoming a wolf. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that he hung out with the Cullens every chance he got. He didn't get out in the real world often.

"Here's my room," I said in relief. I unlocked the door and entered.

I had an uneasy feeling as I looked around. There were two beds. One was just a mattress on a frame. I assumed that one was mine. The other was a neatly made up bed. It didn't have one wrinkle on the blue floral cover. Glancing over at the desks in the room, I noticed one had pens on it which were separated by color. Books were stacked neatly by size. I went over to the closet and opened it up. One side was empty. The other was filled with clothes that looked like they were directly from J. Crew. They were also organized by color and fabric. Oh holy hell!

"Leah, are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob's voice interrupted my panicked thoughts. I turned around and saw the concern on all four of my brothers' faces. I felt my nervousness subside a little. I loved these guys. They might be assholes on occasion, but they were still my family.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I told him.

"Okay," Jake nodded. They began to place my boxes next to the empty bed.

"You take care of yourself," Quil said, walking over and hugging me.

"Make lots of friends and then call Seth and me," Embry teased, embracing me next.

"Be happy, Leah," Seth said as he hugged me close. "Make sure you call home all the time and come and visit as much as you can."

"Okay Mom," I replied, hugging him back tightly. I was trying very hard not to cry.

Jake hugged me next. He pulled back but didn't let go of my shoulders. "I'm only a howl away, you know that right? You need anything, anything at all, and I'm here."

"Yeah, I know," I sniffed. I. Would. Not. Cry.

I grabbed Jake and hugged him again, whispering in his ear though I knew everyone would hear anyway. "Thank you Jake…for everything."

He pulled away and lightly clasped my shoulder before releasing me. "Sure, sure."

I gave them all a watery smile. _Dammit, toughen up Clearwater! You're a beta! Stop acting like a sobbing bitch! _

"Don't forget to email Nessie once you get your computer set up," Jake reminded me.

I rolled my eyes at that. "Don't worry, I already promised Lil' M I'd email her on Friday."

"Don't call her that," Jake grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Aww, c'mon Stud-Muffin," Quil said to Jake with a snort. "Let's get you back to your imprint before you have a breakdown."

"Whatever, Ateara. I know you're jonesing for your Claire fix right now too," Jake retorted.

"Guilty," Quil replied with a light shrug.

"Imprints," Embry shook his head in disgust.

"You just wait until it happens to you," Jake said.

"Nah, I'm too smart for that," Embry insisted.

"10 to 1 says you imprint in the next 10 years," Quil replied.

"You're on," Embry retorted, shaking Quil's hand.

"Serves you right if you imprint and she says she doesn't want your ugly ass," Quil snorted. "You can't spit in the eye of the imprint gods, you know."

"Imprint gods?" Embry rolled his eyes.

"No, you know what?" Jake laughed. "I bet she'll be horrible. You know, buck tooth, bald, hunched over."

"It's what's on the inside that counts," Seth interrupted.

Jake and Quil laughed. Embry was beginning to look annoyed. "You know what? Fuck all of you."

The boys just laughed harder.

I coughed loudly. "Yeah, I hate to break up the imprint love fest you guys have planned, but I'd like to start unpacking."

Jake still chuckling, said, "C'mon boys, let's see if we can get Seth laid before we go."

"Would you guys shut up!" Seth pleaded.

I shook my head as I watched them leave, waving goodbye as they went. Once the door closed behind them, I sat down on my unmade bed. It was so quiet. I hadn't had this much silence since before I became a wolf. I got up and opened my box that was filled with my CDs. I grabbed my small CD player and placed it on my desk, putting in my favorite Black Crowes album.

Their familiar rhythms started playing as I began to unpack. I found the sheets my mother had packed for me. She had planned on coming with us, but the boys decided to rent a car and then run back to La Push. They wanted to see how long it'd take them in wolf form in case they needed to reach me in a hurry. I shook my head at that. They were so overprotective.

I quickly made my bed, before I unpacked my clothes. I glanced at my roommate's pristine shirts and sweaters before looking at what I was hanging up. Fashion hadn't really been a priority of mine since my body turned freakishly muscular. Though I hadn't phased in almost three months, my body had yet to change back to normal. I still had all the characteristics of a wolf. I was too toned, all my senses still overly sensitive, and I still hadn't gotten my period. I wondered how long it would take before I'd turn back to normal, or if it would ever even happen. No one else had tried retiring yet, not even in Sam's pack. We weren't sure how long it'd take before we started aging again. According to legend though, it usually took a few years. I tried not to get too panicky. Sometimes I wondered if I'd ever be "normal" again.

I heard a key in the door, interrupting my melancholy thoughts. I walked quickly back over to my bed area and waited nervously. Going by how orderly everything was in the room, I had a horrible feeling my roommate was a freak.

_Please don't let her be as crazy as she seems. _

A girl of about nineteen entered the room. She had brown hair that flowed just past her shoulders. She had it currently pulled back in two barrettes. She also had dark brown eyes and honey toned skin which indicated that she'd visited a tanning salon recently. She was wearing a thick khaki colored peacoat which she paired with a red scarf and red leather gloves. She was taking off her gloves when she saw me and stopped.

"Oh, hello," the girl said with the hint of a southern accent. "You must be Leah. I'm Whitney Neh."

"Nice to meet you," I responded politely, shaking the hand that she offered me. Her eyes ran over me quickly before she walked away. I went on the defensive instantly. Sorry if I didn't meet her approval.

"I don't mean to be rude, but are you sick? You feel feverish," she asked as she glanced back at me. Was this her idea of polite conversation?

"No, I'm not," I remarked stiffly. "I have a genetic condition which makes my temperature run higher than normal. But don't worry, it's not contagious and I'm perfectly healthy."

I said that with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

"Well, that's good. I thought I was going to have to take you to the med center for a minute," Whitney said, unwrapping her scarf before hanging up her coat. She was wearing a blue cardigan sweater and navy wool slacks. This girl screamed snob. "It'll be interesting to have a roommate. I was supposed to have one for the fall semester, but apparently the girl dropped out at the last minute."

"Sorry to inconvenience you," I replied snippily.

She looked at me funny. "You didn't."

Whitney went over to her desk and pulled out her chair, sitting on it before crossing one leg over the other.

"So tell me about yourself."

"There's nothing to really tell," I said, going back to unpacking.

"Look, would you mind if I turned down your radio?" She asked. I nodded and she turned it down to barely audible. "Sorry, that's not really my kind of music."

"What do you like to listen to?" I asked.

"Anything country. Lady Antebellum is my current favorite. I also like Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, and Kenny Chesney to name a few."

"Oh…I'm not familiar with them," I told her in a tone indicating I didn't really care.

"But you've heard of them at least, right?" Whitney said with incredulous eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. Some of them."

"Good, otherwise I'm sure my father would come here and personally escort you to Nashville for what he calls, 'the country music educational experience.'"

"Is your dad a country music fanatic or something?" I questioned.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "No, he's Blake Neh."

I stared blankly back at her.

"Wow," Whitney muttered. "He's only one of the biggest names in the music industry. Not that I'm bragging or anything."

"Aren't you?" I asked snottily, still feeling offended by her comment about my body temperature. Like I didn't feel like enough of a freak without my roommate pointing out the obvious.

"Okay," Whitney said, standing up. "I'm trying to make small talk here so that we can get to know each other. Are you always this much of a bitch to people?"

I almost smiled at that. If there was one thing I couldn't stand, it was weak people. Probably one of the reasons I disliked Bella Swan so much. My new roommate might as well have been an alien for all we had in common, but at least she had spirit.

"Yeah, pretty much," I admitted.

"Well, I won't bother you anymore then," Whitney replied, sitting back down and grabbing a book. Her back was completely straight, a sign that she was pissed.

"I'm sorry," I finally said. "I'm not good with people I don't know."

I pretty much wasn't good with people period. I avoided most of the human population since becoming a wolf. It was strange being back in the world, especially as I'd spent the past two years only socializing with wolves, leeches, and people who came into the supply store.

"You're forgiven," Whitney said, before giving me a tentative smile. "So let's start again. Where are you from?"

"I'm from the Quileute Reservation which is in La Push. That's on the west coast of Washington near the Olympic Peninsula."

"I don't know that area very well," Whitney replied. "Seattle is pretty much as far as I've gone in Washington since starting school here."

"What made you decide to come to school in Washington?" I wondered curiously.

"I traveled a lot with my dad for his job. We visited Seattle when I was 10 and I kind of fell in love with the area. And it's nice to kind of break away from the family and go out on your own, you know?"

"Yeah, I can understand that," I told her. I knew that feeling better than most.

"Have you gotten your books for your classes yet?" Whitney asked.

"Not yet."

"Classes start Monday. If you want, once you're unpacked I can take you over to the bookstore and you can get what you need."

I eyed her carefully. My first impression was that this girl was a rich snob. Maybe Whitney Neh wouldn't be so bad after all.

"That'd be great, thanks."

After a couple of hours of unpacking and getting to know my roommate, we decided to head out, get some food, and pick up my books. We were walking across campus when someone called out Whitney's name. I turned to see a group of girls heading our way.

"Hey girls, this is my new roommate Leah. Leah, these are some of my sorority sisters," Whitney said, introducing me. She told me their names but I instantly forgot them. The way they moved, reminded me of a pack. I wanted to avoid all things pack related if possible.

"Are you going to the Lambda Chi party tonight?" One of the girls asked.

"Yeah, I promised Miguel," Whitney replied.

"Cool, we'll see you there." The girls nodded at me before walking away.

"Miguel?" I asked.

"My boyfriend," Whitney told me. "Hey, you should come with me tonight. His fraternity is throwing a party. It'll be a lot of fun and you'll get to meet some new people."

"Parties aren't really my thing," I quickly asserted.

"C'mon Leah. Don't you want to have some fun? That's partly why we go to college, right?"

I paused as I thought about that. When was the last time I had any fun? And I did want to experience college in its fullest.

"Okay, I'll go," I answered.

"Sweet," Whitney replied.

We headed for a bunch of fast food restaurants that were on campus. I ordered double what she did and had it finished before she even ate half of hers.

"Wow, how can you eat like that and have that kind of body?" Whitney said enviously.

"What do you mean?" I asked, instantly self-conscious.

"Don't take this weird, but your body is smoking hot. I would seriously kill to have your arms."

"Oh…" Ironic, I hated my body. It was a symbol of what a monster I was. And here was a normal looking girl telling me she liked it.

"So what do you do? Five hours of exercise a day or something?" Whitney questioned curiously as she ate her sandwich delicately.

"Would you believe I hardly exercise?" I told her.

"No."

"Well, I like to run every once in a while, but my body is just naturally like this."

"Bullshit," Whitney replied.

I smiled, "Seriously."

"That's so unfair," Whitney said good-naturedly. "You must be some kind of freak."

My smile quickly disappeared. "Yeah, you could say that."

Whitney folded her arms over her chest and sat back in her chair. "Leah, you've got to stop taking everything I say so seriously."

"Sorry, I...uh…I'm a little sensitive about my appearance. It's really due to that genetic condition I told you about. A lot of guys on my rez are the same way."

"Well if it made me have your body, I'd gladly take it," Whitney said, before biting her lip. "You're not dying or anything, right?"

"No," I laughed, putting my hands in my lap.

"All right," Whitney said with a smile. "Well, we should head for the bookstore. I want to get back to the dorm in time to get ready for the party."

As soon as we got back to our room, Whitney went into the bathroom. An hour later, she reappeared in her robe, her hair and makeup perfect. She went and grabbed a body fitting long sleeved sweater and gray pants.

"What are you going to wear?" She asked.

"Uh…what's appropriate?"

She went over to my wardrobe and frowned. "Don't you have any long sleeved shirts? It's going to be cold tonight."

"I don't really need it…it's part of my condition."

"Ah…" Whitney bit her lip as she continued to search through my clothes. She finally pulled out a plain white t-shirt and one of the few pairs of jeans I owned that didn't have any holes in them.

"Here, put this on," she instructed.

I went into the bathroom and got changed. When I came out, Whitney walked over to me already dressed in her outfit.

"You need a little shape to your shirt." She grabbed the side of my shirt and tied a knot in it so that it clung to me, revealing a little of my defined stomach.

"Better," Whitney said, stepping back. "Now what about hair and makeup?"

Once I started phasing, I hadn't bothered with any of it. I didn't even own a bottle of mascara. When I told Whitney about my lack of cosmetics, she made a tsking noise, before she sat me down on her desk chair. Grabbing some of her makeup, she added a light blush to my cheeks, some mascara, and a light gloss. She also grabbed a long chained silver necklace and threw it over my head, before handing me some chunky bracelets to put on. I wondered briefly if this girl was somehow related to Alice Cullen.

"Finished," Whitney said, stepping away from me just as there was a knock on the door. She went over and grabbed it and was immediately engulfed in a pair of large arms.

"Hello my beauty queen," a male voice said.

"Hello, my Latin lover," Whitney replied back in a laughing tone. She grabbed her boyfriend's hand and dragged him into the room. "Miguel, meet my new roomie, Leah."

"Hey," Miguel said, reaching out to shake my hand.

Miguel was not what I was expecting at all. I thought he'd be a prep like Whitney. Instead, he wore a leather jacket which hung open to reveal a Hawaiian-themed shirt underneath along with what looked like Mardi Gras beads. He had dark brown hair that he wore short and one of the friendliest smiles I'd ever seen. He reminded me of Quil in some ways.

"So," Miguel said. "They assigned you with Whit, huh? You have an I-POD or anything? Cause you'll need it living with her. She lives, breathes, and sings all things country. I've been making her listen to Metallica once a week. I think it's good therapy for her."

"Shut up," Whitney laughed, pushing Miguel on the arm. "You make me sound like a freak. I don't want to scare Leah away just yet."

Miguel snorted. Whitney grabbed her coat and I pulled on some black boots. We were soon walking across campus. I found out that Miguel grew up in San Diego, but moved to Seattle when he was 16. He was in his fourth year of college. Whitney was in her second. I wondered if their relationship would last once he graduated and was no longer a part of campus life.

We arrived at a large Victorian home that had some kind of Greek letters on it. We headed around to the back of the house where there was a cellar door open. The music coming from the basement was making my extra sensory hearing begin to throb slightly.

"C'mon, the beer is downstairs," Whitney told me.

"Oh, I don't drink," I explained. I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since I slept with Will.

"Soda pop and bottled water are downstairs too," Miguel said with a wink. "Don't worry, any friend of Whitney's is a friend of mine. I'll hook you up."

I laughed a little and allowed them to pull me down to the dank cellar. The scent of cigarettes and booze hit my senses. Black lighting was placed throughout the entire room making any white on our clothes glow. I stood out more than others because of the white t-shirt I was wearing.

My attention was caught by someone waving at me. Once my eyes adjusted, I realized it was Barbie, my resident aide, and her two stooges. I waved back.

"Leah, the bar's this way," Miguel said, distracting me.

He wrapped his arm around Whitney and pulled her in the direction of the drinks. I followed closely behind, taking in the entire scene. So this is what college life was like? In one corner of the room, people were dancing. In another corner, people were socializing and drinking beer.

"How'd you get suckered into playing bartender tonight?" Miguel asked someone standing behind the make-shift bar. It was the only part of the room in shadow. My eyes actually hurt a little after the black lights, so I turned my attention back to the dance floor.

"I lost a bet to Stewie," a deep male voice replied.

"Leah, what did you want to drink?" Whitney asked.

"A water would be great," I responded, distracted again as Barbie started waving at me more fervently. It looked like she wanted me to join her.

"Here ya go, Leah," Miguel said, handing me my bottled ice water.

"Thanks," I said, taking a sip. I could hear Whitney say something to Miguel, but even with my advanced hearing, I couldn't understand what she said over the music.

"Hey Leah," Miguel said in a raised voice. "This is my fraternity brother, Dylan Gordon. Dylan, this is Whitney's new roommate, Leah."

"Nice to meet you," Dylan's voice spoke out. I nodded politely in return, but before I could make eye contact, Barbie waved at me again. Sighing, I turned to Whitney.

"I'm going to see what she wants."

"Sure, okay," Whitney said, before taking a swig of her beer. I made my way over to my R.A. and her friends.

"Hey Leah, how's it going? Are you enjoying campus life so far?" Barbie asked.

"Well, I've only been here a day, but so far so good," I replied dryly.

"So those guys you came with," the redhead Brenna said. "Are you dating one of them?"

"Uh, no, they're just friends. Practically brothers."

"Are they taken?" the other blond Bridget asked.

I thought of Jake and Quil and their child imprints. "Two of them are."

"Is it serious?" Barbie asked, looking disappointed.

"Definitely," I assured them.

"Well, tell us all about the ones who are single," Bridget insisted.

We made our way outside and I spent the rest of my night filling them in on details about Seth and Embry. I might have exaggerated their faults slightly. I told them Embry snored (he did too…well, in wolf form), and about how Seth could burp his ABCs. The girls didn't seem to mind. Whitney and Miguel finally came and got me around 2 AM.

"Did you have fun?" Whitney asked once we got settled back in our dorm.

"Yeah, I did," I told her truthfully. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Sure, no problem," Whitney said, gathering some makeup removal supplies. "So what did you think about Dylan?"

"Dylan?" I asked in a confused tone.

"The guy serving drinks."

"Oh…I didn't really get a chance to talk to him or anything."

"He's a really great guy. He and Miguel are best friends."

I had a sneaking suspicion I knew where Whitney was going with this.

"Are you trying to set me up?" I blatantly asked.

"Would you go out with him?" Damn couples! Whitney was as bad as Emily.

"No," I told her truthfully. "I got out of a relationship not too long ago. I was in it for over four years."

"I'm sorry," Whitney said in sympathy. "What happened?"

I frowned slightly before admitting, "He fell in love with my cousin."

"Are you serious? That's so cold. What'd your cousin do?"

"She married him," I told her simply.

"What a bitch!"

"No, she's not," I said. "She didn't go out with him until after we broke up."

That was technically true too. How did you explain imprinting to an outsider though? I couldn't tell Whitney that Emily only agreed to go out with Sam after he almost killed her, and that Emily's bleeding heart couldn't resist him anymore. It sounded strange even to my own ears and I had two years to adjust to it.

"But there are rules about that stuff."

I shrugged indifferently. There was no point dwelling on the past anymore. Sam was out of my life.

"It's complicated. And if you don't mind, I don't really feel like talking about it."

"Sure," Whitney said, her eyes sad as she took in my features. "Dylan just got out of a long term relationship too."

"What happened to him?"

Whitney bit her lip. "I probably shouldn't say anything."

"Who am I gonna tell?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"True," Whitney said, before saying. "He and his girlfriend met their freshman year and got engaged last year. She was on her way home to tell her parents the news when a drunk driver crossed over the median and hit her car head-on. Anna was killed instantly."

"Oh God," I whispered, my heart instantly aching for the guy.

"Yeah. Dylan was pretty messed up about it. He hasn't attended school the last couple of semesters. He just returned for this upcoming semester."

"Is he all right now?" I wondered.

"He seemed the same tonight, laughing and joking like he used to, but he seemed really sad too. And he wouldn't let anyone have more than two beers while he was bartender, so I know it's affecting him psychologically."

"Hmm…" I said, not sure how to respond.

"Well, I'm going to get ready for bed," Whitney replied, grabbing her stuff and closing the bathroom door behind her.

I quickly changed into the large t-shirt I liked to sleep in and crawled underneath the sheet. It had been some night. My mind drifted briefly to Dylan.

There was someone else out there with a broken heart. At least I could take comfort in knowing that Sam was alive. Dylan didn't have that luxury.

It was the last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep.

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**End Note**

Just a reminder, you can still vote for the Silent Tear Awards. "Forbidden Imprint (Embry's Story)" has been nominated for the "Forbidden Love" category.

http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

Also, if you haven't had a chance yet to check out "First Imprint (Sam's Story)," I really hope you do. I'm excited about how the M version on Twilighted is shaping up. I've added so much to it, including a Leah/Emily cat fight scene. ;)

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/viewstory(dot)php?sid=9559

All right everyone, let me know what you thought of this chapter. I wrote this one before the floods in Nashville happened. If you're in that area, my thoughts are with you and I hope you're safe.

By the way, the horror story about finding the college roommate sleeping in a closet with her cat really happened to me. Needless to say, I moved out of that situation as fast as I could. Anywhoo…**Please Review!**


	10. Guthrie

**Author's Note **

I'm co-hosting a new fan fiction award called the _TwiTastic Awards_. You can begin to nominate your favorite stories May 31. (Side note: My stories will NOT be considered for any of the categories.) You can find the link to the awards below or on my profile page.

http:/twitasticawards(dot)webs(dot)com/

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**Chapter Prologue**

What can I tell you about college life? Umm…it's a blast?

No, seriously. They say that college years are the best years of your life. There was a lot of truth in that for me. College wasn't just a place for me to go and get an education. It became an escape that I desperately needed.

Sure, I had studying and classes, but I also ended up making some good friends and had a social life that didn't involve having to burst into a fluffy wolf. For the first time in a long time, I felt normal. While I lived on campus, I wasn't Leah, the discarded ex of Sam. I wasn't Leah, the daughter of a revered, yet dead Elder. And I especially wasn't Leah, the lone female wolf who was viewed as a sadistic bitch. I was just Leah Clearwater, your typical everyday student and normal girl.

Whitney helped with that. The first year I lived with her, she decided to personally take on the challenge of feminizing me. My first weekend on campus, she took me shopping for lip balm and mascara. She also forced me to get a "party" outfit…something that I could wear to future frat outings and social events. I didn't know why, but Whitney took me on as her personal project. She introduced me to her friends and associates. If I seemed to flail in a social setting, she'd race to my side and rescue me.

I asked her about that once years later. She said that when I first arrived on campus, I seemed kind of lost. Like I had been through a war or something, and she wanted to help me out. She had no idea how accurate she was.

My classes themselves were…well, classes. Some were interesting. Some were boring as hell. Take Psychology, for example. You really think I gave a shit about Pavlov's dogs? I already knew all about animalistic behavior and how conditioned dogs could be. I didn't need that fucking reminder crammed down my throat. I also knew more about the inner psyche of the male mind than any female should, thanks to sharing the mindset of a predominately male pack. So why the hell did I have to study a subject about human behavior?

Still, Psychology class did have one benefit. While sitting in Guthrie Hall that first day, I heard my name called. And when I looked up, I saw my future…

**Chapter 10 – Guthrie**

Leah's POV

My alarm clock beeped annoyingly next to my ear. I groaned and tried to ignore the persistent noise. It was the second time I had been woken this morning. Whitney's radio alarm started blaring _Redneck Woman_ around 6 am. She got out of her bed humming. That girl was definitely not normal.

Rolling on my side and reaching over to turn the alarm off, I snuggled back down in my sheets. It was snowing out and though I didn't physically feel the coldness of the day, the thought of leaving my comfy bed did not motivate me to want to get up. Still, it was the first day of classes. I had two this morning and two more this afternoon. First up was a creative writing class, though I didn't know who could be creative at 9 am. My class right after that was Psychology.

Yawning, I got up and went into the bathroom for a quick shower. Not even bothering to dry my hair, I pulled it into a small ponytail. Since retiring from the pack a few months ago, I had begun to let my hair grow out a little. I loved being able to wear a ponytail again. It was so much more freaking convenient than trying to style it. When I first became a wolf, I tried to hold onto my femininity by doing my hair. I would spend extra time blow drying and curling it on the days I had to work in the supply store. After I realized I wasn't getting my period anymore, my self-esteem took such a huge hit that I stopped bothering with it.

Brushing my teeth next, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes and had the appearance of being slightly hung over, though the most I had to drink as of late was chilled water. Ah well, who did I have to impress anyway?

"Eat your heart out, boys," I said to the mirror.

Laughing at how stupid I sounded, I left the bathroom and walked over to my closet, grabbing some track pants and a t-shirt. Wanting to be inconspicuous, I also pulled on a sweatshirt jacket. I knew I wouldn't need it, but to look like I belonged, I couldn't walk around campus in just a t-shirt.

I went over to my desk and grabbed the books I was going to need for the morning. Throwing them in my brand new backpack, a gift from my pack, I headed outside. As I walked towards my first class, I observed other people's reactions to things. If they shuddered from a cold breeze, I shuddered in return. I wanted to blend in as best as I could.

I made it to my first class and sat through an hour long lecture of what the professor's expectations were going to be. Once it was over, I headed to Guthrie Hall where my psychology class was being held. Thankfully, it wasn't that far of a distance. I had enough time to stop for a coffee on the way. Unfortunately, I ran into my resident aide outside of the coffee shop.

"OMG! Leah Clearwater, how's it going?" Barbie asked.

"Yeah…it's uh, it's great," I replied, still freaked out by Peppy Longstockings.

"What will you have?" The vendor asked.

"Umm…" I looked up at the sign above the shop counter. There were about 20 different selections of coffee to choose from. Fuck, all I wanted was some caffeine…not that it would have any effect on me.

"You have _got _to get the vanilla soy latte," Barbie insisted. "It's absolutely to die for. I mean seriously, it should be a cardinal sin it's that good."

"Fine," I said, plastering a pained smile on my face. "I'll get that."

"Make it two, please," Barbie said brightly. "So…have you had any classes yet this morning?"

"I just got done with Creative Writing," I replied, keeping my eyes on the vendor as he worked, hoping that it would somehow speed up the latte making process.

"Who do you have?" Barbie asked.

"Professor White."

"Oh, I had her last year. She's a bitch."

I laughed, not expecting such a human response from Barbie.

"Here you are," the vendor said, passing our drinks. I paid for mine and turned to Barbie.

"Well, I need to get going. I'm supposed to be in Psychology in about 10 minutes."

"Sure," Barbie nodded. "You have a super day."

"Thanks…you too." I gave as friendly a smile as I could muster and walked outside.

I took a sip of my coffee and stopped as soon as it hit my taste buds. Holy fucking shit! It was like heaven in a cup. I gulped the rest down in three swallows. It burned my tongue, but by the time I got near the building of my next class the pain was already gone.

I walked into my classroom and glanced around. It was really a small auditorium. The students' desks were nothing more than chairs with a pull out table attached to each one. The seats were arranged in a stadium style setting.

I found a place to sit in the back row and sat down. Pulling out my textbook, I began to flip through the pages. I groaned as I looked at the material. Oh God…this class was going to be more boring than Jacob describing in detail the different ways Nessie could hunt.

"Leah, right?" A deep voice said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up and almost gasped.

Standing next to my chair was possibly one of the hottest guys I had ever seen in my entire life. He had dishwater blond hair which he wore short, the hair styled to stick up slightly in the front. His eyes reminded me of bright blue sapphires, his nose reminiscent of a roman warrior…shit, when did I get so cheesy? I couldn't help but notice that he was also amazingly tall for a human…at least 6'4.

"I'm sorry," he said with a frown. "Maybe I mistook you for someone else."

I closed my mouth which I only just realized was hanging open. I shook my head and said, "No, you were right. I'm Leah."

"We didn't really get a chance to meet properly this past weekend, but I'm Dylan, Miguel and Whitney's friend," he explained, sticking out his hand for me to shake.

I felt my heart sink. So this was Dylan, the guy whose fiancée was killed last year. This guy was off limits. I mean…most guys were off limits…unless I found an imprint. And I wasn't sure I'd settle for anything less at this point. What was the point of trying to fall in love with someone when it could all be taken away in a moment? Like my relationship with Sam. One minute, we're going out, the next he imprints on Emily. I couldn't do that to someone, especially not someone like Dylan who had already suffered so much.

"I remember you," I replied a little more coolly than I intended, taking his hand briefly. I quickly released it, but I could still feel the imprint of his skin on mine.

He stared at me for a moment before asking, "Would it be all right if I sat next to you?"

"Sure…whatever," I responded casually, though my heart started to beat erratically.

He sat down and pulled his textbook out of the satchel he was carrying, before placing the bag on the floor. When he sat up, a wave of his masculine scent hit me. He smelled incredible…like sandalwood. I felt my eyes drift to his profile just as he looked over at me. I quickly looked away.

"So…are you majoring in Psychology or something?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Right now, I'm undecided."

"Ah." He smiled in understanding.

"What about you?" I wondered. "Is this your major?"

"No," Dylan laughed. The sound made me feel fucking giddy. "I'm getting a degree in computer programming. I'm only taking this because it's a general elective. You know…one of those useless classes that have nothing to do with your degree, but the school wants you to take anyway so they can get more money out of you?"

"You think Psychology is useless?" I was really starting to like this guy.

Dylan shrugged. "I'm not planning on becoming a shrink. I don't see why I need to take a class in this."

I smiled, really smiled since first arriving. Dylan's eyes lingered on my mouth for a moment before he continued talking.

"So how do you like living with Whitney?"

"She seems nice," I responded honestly. "She took me shopping yesterday. My clothes didn't meet her approval."

Dylan laughed. "That sounds like Whit."

"Have you known her for long?"

"About two years now. She and Miguel pretty much started dating as soon as she arrived on campus."

Which meant that Whitney must have known Dylan's fiancée, Anna. Before we could speak anymore, the professor came in and began the class. He was as dry and boring as the subject matter. Fearing that I would fall asleep, I found my attention drifting to my neighbor. He was busy taking notes, but there was a slightly glazed look in his eyes. Dylan turned his head and caught me looking at him again. He gave me a polite smile before returning back to his notepad. I forced my eyes away and made myself listen to the professor. It was hard. I didn't want to look at him. I wanted to stare at Dylan.

It was strange. I hadn't imprinted. I didn't feel the universal shift in my gravity that imprinted wolves usually experienced. And yet, I still felt really drawn to this guy. Granted, he was easy on the eyes…possibly even cuter than Sam. But it wasn't just his looks that I was attracted to. Maybe it had to do with the fact that we had both gone through rough experiences. I didn't want to analyze it too closely though. I couldn't allow myself to become interested in this guy.

I sighed and began to fidget as the professor's voice droned on and on. I felt like a person with ADD who badly needed a dose of Ritalin. I started shaking my leg nervously. I looked at the white board where the professor had written in bright red marker, "Psychology 101."

To keep my mind off Dylan, I began to see how many words I could make out of the word, Psychology.

_School_

_Chop_

_Psycho_

I laughed silently. That last one was pretty fitting for how I was feeling right now. I was so distracted that I almost jumped when I felt a hand on my shaking leg. I looked over and saw Dylan staring at me with a slightly amused expression.

"Too much caffeine this morning?" He whispered. I nodded my head stupidly and he went back to taking notes, removing his hand. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my suddenly racing heart.

Forcing myself to concentrate, I listened to the rest of the professor's lecture. When the class was finally over, I threw my book in my bag and stood up, stretching slightly.

"What are you doing now?" Dylan asked as he put his book in his satchel and buckled the bag.

"Probably getting something to eat and going back to my dorm to read before my next class," I told him.

"Do you want to get lunch together?" He asked as he stood up.

My mind immediately went into overdrive. What did he mean by that? Was he asking me out on a date? If he meant it as a date, I already knew why I should say no…I just didn't know if I could. I was really fascinated with this guy, probably more than I should be. I looked into his eyes and noticed for the first time the strain behind them. Though he put on a good front, I could see the sadness that Dylan was carefully trying to hide. Witnessing that, I knew what I needed to do.

"Thanks, but I don't think so," I replied.

"You need to eat and I need to eat, so why not?" Dylan wondered in confusion.

"I…" I tried to come up with a good excuse, but my mind went blank.

"Look, if you're worried that I'm asking you out, don't be. No offense, but I'm not really looking to get in a relationship right now."

Oddly enough, that hurt. I knew his reasons for not wanting to date anyone. In fact, no reason could be more valid. But to be out-and-out rejected stung a little. I was about to tell him to forget the idea, when I looked into his eyes and saw the grief there.

Shaking my head because I knew how stupid it was to pursue even friendship with this guy, I said, "Sure…why not."

"Great," Dylan said, smiling again.

He walked out of the row of seats and I followed closely behind. We headed to the student common area where there was a banquet of fast food restaurants. We got in line for some McDonald's and sat down to eat once we got our food.

"So where are you from?" Dylan asked as he bit into his Big Mac.

"From the Quileute rez in La Push," I responded, dipping my fries into some ketchup. "That's on the west coast of the state."

"So you're Native American?"

"Yeah," I replied defensively. "Is that a problem?"

"Why would it be?" Dylan questioned, his forehead furrowing. When I didn't say anything, he sat back in his chair. "Ah, I see. You thought I was being racist."

I stared down at my food.

"I don't have a problem if that's what you were wondering," Dylan said, taking another bite of his sandwich and swallowing. "My great-grandfather was from the Chinook tribe. It's one of my heritages I'm proud of the most."

I quickly wiped my mouth with a napkin, hoping he wouldn't see me cringe. I was ashamed to admit it, but I had a problem with him being Native American. Great, now I was the one with a race issue against my own people. I couldn't help it though. My mind instantly began to wonder what the legends of his people were. I knew from firsthand experience that legends weren't just fairytales. Would Dylan someday burst into an animal and imprint on some unsuspecting female? And then I felt angry with myself for even caring.

"You said that's one of your heritages?" I asked before taking a swig of my soda.

"Yeah," he replied, giving me a smile that made my stomach drop. "I'm your average American mutt. Besides my Native heritage, I also have Swedish, German, English, and Finnish blood."

"And what about the Native part?" I couldn't help but ask. "Any freaky legends that you know of?"

He laughed. "Not that I'm aware of. Well…there is one. Supposedly the tribe was started by this guy named Thunderbird who was part man, part spirit."

My heart sank even further. From what I remembered of my zoology class in high school, certain birds, such as ducks, could imprint.

"What about the Quileutes? Any strange legends?" Dylan asked.

"Wolves," I responded, more honestly than I'd ever been with anyone outside the tribe. "We phase into wolves."

Dylan just shook his head. "Crazy, isn't it?"

I frowned, before standing up. Dylan looked at me in surprise.

"This was fun, but I have to go," I told him.

"Leah, look, I'm sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention."

"You didn't," I replied stiffly. "I just need to go. See you next class."

"Okay, see you later," Dylan responded, looking disappointed.

I grabbed my tray and hurriedly walked away, throwing my half eaten food in the trash. I headed straight back to my dorm. I knew now that Dylan Gordon would need to be avoided at all costs. I came to college to leave my problems behind me, not start new ones.

First of all, Dylan was heartbroken. I had my own shattered heart to deal with, how could I fix his? Secondly, it was in the realm of possibilities that Dylan could phase someday. If he did, would he imprint? I couldn't go through that again.

No, it was best to stay away from Dylan. It didn't matter that I was attracted to him. It didn't matter that I felt a connection to him that was stronger than any male before him, including Sam. I didn't imprint on him. I wished I would have because that would have solved all my problems, but it didn't happen.

I arrived at my dorm and headed to my room, carefully avoiding Brenna and Bridget, who I could see sitting in the lounge area off of the main entrance. When I walked in my room, Whitney was already there. She was on her bed lying on her stomach, reading one of her textbooks. She also had on some horrible twangy music.

"Hey," she said, looking up at me. "How have your classes been so far?"

"Fine," I replied, taking my books out of my backpack and exchanging them for the books I'd need for my afternoon classes.

I looked at Whitney and blurted out before I could stop myself, "I have a class with Miguel's friend."

"Which one?" Whitney questioned in confusion.

"Psychology," I replied distractedly.

"No," Whitney laughed. "Which friend?"

I didn't want it to seem like Dylan was important so I said casually, "Oh, you know. That guy who was the bartender at the frat party."

"You mean Dylan?" Whitney wondered.

"Oh, right. That's him," I shrugged offhandedly. Jesus, I could win an Oscar.

"Reeeallly," Whitney drawled out before smiling wickedly. "So you have class with Dylan, huh?"

"Yeah," I responded, not making eye contact.

"Did you get a chance to talk to him?"

"A little bit." No need to share that I had lunch with the guy. Whitney was beginning to get an excited gleam in her eye that was making me nervous.

"You know what this is?" Whitney asked. "This is fate."

She reached over and pulled a magazine out of her backpack, which was lying on the floor next to her bed. "What's your sign?"

"Are you serious?" I looked at her like she was crazy.

"I never joke about Astrology," she answered sternly. "Now what's your sign?"

"Capricorn," I replied, with a roll of the eyes.

Whitney opened her magazine and began to use her index finger to skim over the page.

"Capricorn, Capricorn…ah, here it is." Whitney paused to read it before a huge smile appeared on her face.

I knew I'd shoot myself later for this, but I couldn't help but ask, "What does it say?"

"You will meet a man that will play a huge role in your life."

I snorted. "Great, then I met him. My psychology professor is male. And if I don't pass his boring ass class, then I most likely won't graduate later on. Glad my horoscope cleared that up."

"Twist it anyway you like, but Dylan is clearly going to have a big role in your future," Whitney stated smugly. "Now we just need to find a way to get you two together."

"No," I snapped. "I already told you that I'm not interested in dating anyone, least of all Dylan."

"Fine, fine," Whitney sighed, not the least bit offended by my tone. She set her magazine aside and began reading her textbook again.

I grabbed a book off the end table next to my bed and began reading it. It was purely a fun read meant to entertain, yet it couldn't hold my attention. I glanced over at Whitney who was busy studying.

Cursing my curiosity, I said, "Dylan mentioned that you and Miguel have been dating for awhile."

"Mmhmm, about two years," Whitney replied, picking up a highlighter that was on her bed and marking her book with it.

"You must have met Anna then, huh?" I asked about Dylan's fiancée.

Whitney gave me a knowing look. "Yeah, I did."

"Hmm…" I muttered, going back to reading my book. After several minutes of silence, I set it down again. "What was she like?"

Whitney shrugged before saying sadly, "Anna was a sweetheart, funny and warm. She was the type who would've given the shirt off her back to help someone if they needed it. She also had a great sense of humor and was really pretty. She reminded me of a Barbie doll sometimes without having the gargantuan, disproportioned boobs. She had long blond hair and bright blue eyes. It would have been very easy to hate Anna if she wasn't so loveable."

I felt my eyebrows draw into a frown. Well, fuck. If I had been feeling uneasy before about my attraction to Dylan, now I just felt downright depressed. The girl sounded like she was a saint. Who could compete with that? Not that I wanted to compete. I looked over and saw Whitney looking at me, waiting for my reaction. I quickly straightened my face.

"She sounds like she was really nice," I replied politely. "You must miss her."

"Yeah, I do," Whitney nodded. "I mean, I wasn't extremely close to her or anything. She and Dylan were kind of in their own little world. But it really hurt when she died. She had so much life to live still."

I nodded and picked up my book, feeling my heart ache all over again. Everything Whitney said confirmed why I needed to stay away from Dylan.

"So…are you sure you aren't interested in Dylan?" Whitney persisted.

"I already said I wasn't interested in Dylan Gordon," I answered waspishly.

"Hmm….fascinating," Whitney responded before going back to her reading.

Raising my eyes to the ceiling and praying for patience, I took a deep breath and asked, "What's fascinating?"

Whitney rolled on her side and gave me her full attention. "I find it fascinating that when you first told me that you had class with Dylan, you couldn't even remember his name. And yet, you just said his first _and_ last name. I haven't brought up his last name since we began this bizarre conversation. For a girl who isn't interested in dating anyone, you certainly seem curious about him."

"I feel bad for the guy, that's all," I stated defensively.

Whitney shook her head and turned back to her book. "If you say so."

Feeling frustrated and annoyed, my hands began to shake. Standing up before I exploded, I snapped, "You know, I think Miguel is right. Your music is going to drive me up a fucking wall."

And with no better exit line than that, I grabbed my backpack and headed outside. Taking a deep breath of cool air to calm myself down, I headed for the library as I didn't have class for another hour.

It wasn't as comfortable as my dorm room, but at least it was quiet.

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**Please Review! To my fellow Americans, have a safe and fun Memorial Weekend!**


	11. Miguel

A/N – Thank you so much for the reviews you left me on the previous chapter. If you sent me one within the past week, I apologize for not responding to it. I had to go out of state and I've been playing catch up since I got back.

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**Chapter Prologue**

My first semester of college ended up flying by and before I knew it, summer was upon me. Dylan and I never went out for lunch after that first time. We talked in class and he was always polite to me, but we never went out of our way to socialize with each other if we could avoid it.

And, as it turned out, hanging out with Dylan was something I had to avoid a lot. It almost became like a second job to me. That had a lot to do with Whitney. She'd gotten it into her head that Dylan and I would be perfect for each other. She would always find ways to throw us together. Whitney would suggest dinner and surprise, surprise, Dylan and Miguel would show up. We'd go out to the movies and bam, Dylan and Miguel would already be in the theater. She used to remind me of a bulldog that had latched onto something and wouldn't let go.

Dylan tolerated it with as much grace as he could muster. He's seriously one of the most good-natured, laid back guys you could ever meet (which is probably why we're such a good fit considering how I have a tendency to uh…fly off the handle, shall we say). He was always kind to me when we were forced to be together, but that was the extent of it those first few months after meeting. A tiny part of me had been relieved. But the more time I spent with him, the more I had begun to resent his caviler attitude.

Though I knew I didn't want to get involved with him, my female ego took a blow every time he waved at me across a room and then would turn indifferently away. Like my femininity hadn't suffered enough without Dylan Gordon helping to flush it down the toilet some more.

When my first semester of school ended and summer arrived, I didn't go back to La Push. In fact, I never really went back to the rez again. I can count on two hands the number of times I've been back there over the years. Instead, I found a job working with Whitney at a spa. (I know…laugh all you want, but with some training, people found my warm hands soothing for massages). Whitney and I also ended up getting an apartment together. We lived in it for two years.

We called it, _The Hovel._ It really was a shit-hole. The walls had cracks and I could always count on some bug waiting to greet me in the morning when I'd go to take a shower. But the price had been right and it was close to campus. Whitney's wealthy dad about had a stroke when he saw it and offered to put us in a nicer place, but Whitney refused to take handouts…another reason I love Whit.

Whitney seemed infallible to me when I first met her…like nothing could touch her. But as I learned, Whitney was just like the rest of us. Human. She and Miguel broke up later that summer. Sadly, I inadvertently created the reason they didn't make up either. But what was even weirder is that through Miguel and Whitney's breakup, Dylan and I became something more…

**Chapter 11 – Miguel**

"You know…we could do this," Whitney told me as we stood side by side in the mirror doing our hair, before leaving to start our workday at _A Healthier Tomorrow Spa and Salon. _

"What do you mean?" I asked as I reached down on the counter for my nametag before attaching it to my uniform.

"This," she said, waving her hand at both of us. "We could own a spa. A place that would be so fabulous, people from around Seattle would flock to it."

"Oh sure," I snorted. Just the idea of owning something that helped people to relax and keep calm was laughable. My pack brothers would roll on the floor if they ever heard this conversation.

"When I was in Nashville," Whitney continued, "my mother and I used to go to spas all the time for mud baths and facials. People will pay through the roof if the reputation is right. Even in a stressed economy, the market for beauty products never fails. That's a fact."

"I just can't really see myself doing that," I told her honestly.

"Well, what do you see yourself doing? You haven't even declared a major," Whitney reminded me. "You know, you could always major in business management. You could be the brains behind the operation. I could be the person who orders the staff around."

She grinned at me and I rolled my eyes in response. It was true I hadn't declared a major yet. School was going to start back up in a few weeks and I still didn't have a clue what to focus my studies on. When I tried to picture what I wanted to do, my mind always went blank.

"Will you at least think about it?" Whitney begged. "Please, Leah?"

Smiling at the puppy dog look she was giving me, I finally said, "All right, I'll think about it."

"Yay!" She clapped before giving me a brief hug. We hopped into her Lexus and headed to work.

"Hey, don't forget that my brother is coming to town tonight." I reminded her.

"Which one?" Whitney asked curiously. "Quil, Embry, Jake, or Seth?"

I laughed awkwardly. Whitney had heard me refer to the guys as my brothers for so long, she sometimes got them confused for my real one.

"My biological one…Seth."

She shook her head. "I still can't believe that you never dated any of the others. They're _sooo _good looking."

"Ew," I replied jokingly. "Biological or not, they're still my brothers. It'd be too incestuous to date any of them."

Whitney sighed dramatically. "That's too bad because that Embry's cute. You two would make a cute couple."

I snorted. I had been in Embry's brain one too many times to even want to think about dating him.

"Definitely not," I stated firmly.

"Well…" Whitney smiled wickedly. "There's always Dylan."

"I should have known." I looked down at my watch dramatically. "Yep, it took you all of 10 hours before you brought him up. I was beginning to wonder what happened to our morning badgering session on this topic."

"I don't know why you resist him as much as you do. You two are obviously into each other. You can see it every time you get together."

"Yeah, he's so interested in me," I remarked sarcastically. "That's why he's never asked me out."

I silently cursed myself. I didn't want to give Whitney any more ammunition than she already had. But it was too late. Her face lit up like the Fourth of July.

"So you _are_ interested."

"No." I shook my head emphatically. "I'm just merely pointing out the fact that _he's_ not interested."

"He would be if you gave him the slightest hint that you'd return his feelings. I know Dylan. Every time he sees you his face changes…it's like…he comes alive around you or something. And when we all hang out, he's always watching you when you're not paying attention or finding excuses to touch your arm or back."

"You're imagining things," I told her indifferently, ignoring my suddenly erratic heartbeat.

"If you say so, Leah," Whitney murmured as we pulled into the spa parking lot. We walked into the building and were given our assignments for the day. Whitney was in charge of cleaning the spas and waiting on customers. She went off to do so with a grimace. I was told to man the front counter.

As I went about my day, booking appointments and greeting customers, I began to think about my earlier conversation with Whitney. What would it be like if we did start a spa? My eyes drifted over the lobby, taking in the sign that listed all the different spa options. I started picking out the things I'd do differently. I was so lost in thought I didn't even realize someone was standing in front of me until I heard a cough. Glancing up, I was momentarily taken aback when I saw Dylan standing in front of me, looking sheepish.

"Hey," I said in surprise.

"Hey," he replied, shifting on his feet while giving me a half smile that made my stomach feel as though butterflies would explode from it.

"Uh…what are you doing here?" I asked before joking, "Were you interested in getting a facial?"

Dylan laughed, the sound deep and throaty. "Sort of. It's my mom's birthday today and Whitney is always talking this place up. I thought maybe I could buy her a package or something."

"Oh…sure," I replied, feeling flustered. _Get a grip, Clearwater!_ "Here are some of our options we offer."

"Thanks," he said, giving me another smile. It was seriously unfair for guys to be this hot.

I watched his eyes run over the options, his smile slowly fading.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"Hmm? Oh…no," Dylan replied. "Um…how about we do the manicure and pedicure package?"

I knew that was the cheapest package we offered.

"Dylan," I whispered, leaning in close. His body automatically followed suit until we were only inches apart. "I can give you the employee discount if you want."

He straightened. "No, that's okay."

"It's no big deal," I insisted.

He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "Thanks anyway Leah, but I think my mom will be happy with this."

"Okay," I replied, feeling embarrassed. I filled out the spa card as Dylan placed some cash on the counter next to me. "Just tell her to give us a call and we'll book her appointment."

"Thanks again," he said, taking the card. He seemed to deliberately brush his fingers against mine. I stiffened and pulled back, still feeling awkward over having my offer rejected. I watched his shoulders sag and he suddenly looked tired.

"I guess I'll see you around," Dylan remarked.

"See you later," I responded coldly.

Dylan looked at me for a moment. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it before turning and walking out the door. I released a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Feeling disappointed and slightly disgruntled, I went about my day.

When our shifts were over, Whitney and I rushed home. I was eager to see Seth and I still had to get the couch ready for him to sleep on. Whitney had a hot date with Miguel. He said he had something important he wanted to tell her. Whitney was thinking he might propose. An hour after we got home, Seth arrived.

"Hey, little brother. It's good to see you again," I told him as I hugged him close.

"Hey Lee," Seth returned. "It's good to see you too. When are you coming home?"

I sighed. That was always the question Seth asked me.

"I don't know Seth," I told him honestly. "I'm pretty happy here."

Seth looked around the rundown apartment with raised eyebrows. "Yeah, I can see why."

I shoved him lightly. "Don't be a snob."

He looked at the couch that had a pillow on it. "That's where I'm sleeping tonight?"

"Yep."

"What are the chances that I'll make it through the night without being attacked by cockroaches?"

"I make no promises," I told him cheekily. "So how is everyone doing?"

We spent the next hour catching up. Whitney came out wearing a black halter top with a black mini-skirt and silver stiletto sandals.

"How do I look?"

"Hot," I assured her.

"Thanks," she replied with a wink before looking at Seth. "Hey Seth, it's nice to see you again."

The pack had come down to help us move into our apartment. Whitney had been deeply impressed with all the male testosterone that had surrounded us.

"Nice to see you too," Seth murmured politely. Whitney's cell went off. Glancing down at it, she smiled.

"Well, I'm off. Have a good night," she said with a wave.

"Good luck," I shouted out just as the door closed behind her.

"Good luck?" Seth asked.

"Her boyfriend may be proposing tonight," I explained.

"Ah…" Seth replied.

Seth and I continued to catch up. He told me all about how the pack was doing. Nessie's second birthday (though she was physically five) was coming up and Jake had something huge planned. Edward kept trying to rein Jacob in, but he was having little success. I was laughing over Nessie's latest exploits when Whitney walked in an hour later, tears running down her face, her eyes red.

"What happened?" I asked, hurrying over to her, my hands trembling slightly. Seth was right behind me, looking equally concerned.

"He broke up with me," Whitney whispered.

"What?" I asked shocked. Miguel adored Whitney. "Why?"

"He got a job offer in Tucson. He's moving in a couple of weeks. He doesn't want to do a long distance relationship."

"Oh Whit," I sighed, hugging her close.

"I just don't understand," she sobbed. "I told him that I'd transfer schools. He said he couldn't ask me to do that and that he preferred it his way. He said we should date other people."

"He's an idiot then," I instantly assured her.

"A big fucking idiot," Whitney murmured against my shoulder before pushing away from me. "Who the hell does he think he is? I'm Whitney Neh, dammit! I could have slept with Kenny Chesney, but I turned him down for that lowlife son of a bitch."

Whitney stomped off and went into the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind her. Seth and I just looked at each other blankly. We sat down on the couch and started talking again, but it was stilted as we heard Whitney slamming things around.

"So…uh…should we go get dinner?" Seth finally asked.

"I guess," I replied unsurely. "Maybe Whitney might want something."

Before I could even ask, Whitney came back out, her make-up restored.

"We are going out," she stated.

"We are?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes. We're going to Solutions," she informed us, naming one of the most popular clubs in Seattle.

"One problem with that," I answered. "Neither you or Seth are 21."

Whitney eyed Seth. "Seth looks like he's 25 and my dad knows the owner. We're in."

I looked over at Seth who shrugged in response.

"Okay," I said with a wary shake of the head.

We arrived at the club after taking a taxi ride downtown. True to Whitney's word, we got in with zero problems. I decided to go and get a drink while Whitney made her way to the dance floor, dragging an embarrassed Seth with her. I was ordering a Pepsi when I picked up the familiar scent of sandalwood.

"Fancy meeting you here," Dylan said close to my ear.

"You stalking me or something?" I joked. He laughed and pointed at a crowded table.

"My brother and his girlfriend are in town for my mom's birthday. They wanted to go out tonight so we called some friends and decided to head here. What's your excuse?"

I frowned, remembering exactly why Whitney dragged me here.

"Is something wrong?" Dylan asked with concern in his voice.

I looked over at the dance floor and saw Seth and Whitney dancing close together. Dylan followed my gaze and I heard his breath suck in.

"Isn't that Whitney?" He asked. I'd been foolishly hoping he wouldn't see her through the dim club lighting.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Who's the guy she's with?" Dylan questioned.

"That's my brother. He's in town this weekend," I explained, looking back at Dylan. "He's just being friendly."

"You think?" Dylan remarked, staring pointedly at the pair. I glanced back in time to see Whitney's hands on Seth's butt. Oh holy shit!

Feeling the need to defend my loved ones, I turned to Dylan. "Miguel broke up with Whitney tonight. That's what we're doing here."

"So she's going for revenge sex?"

I was beginning to feel angry. My hands started shaking and I had to take a deep breath before answering. "He broke her heart. What the hell is she supposed to do? Not move on with her life. Is she supposed to stay frozen in time while he forgets all about her?"

Dylan's eyebrows snapped together as he stared at me carefully.

"Are we talking about Whitney or you?" He murmured quietly.

I clenched my teeth together and grabbed my soda off the bar counter. "Have fun tonight, Dylan."

I headed back to my VIP table and didn't look back though I could feel Dylan's eyes on me. I sat down and waited for Seth and Whitney to return. They continued to dance together. A couple of times I glanced over at Dylan's table. Each time, he was staring back.

I was in the middle of a staring standoff with Dylan when I heard a voice say, "Hey beautiful, mind if I join you?"

I looked up to see a guy standing next to me. He had wavy dark brown hair that rested just past his shoulder. He was wearing a silky blue shirt that had several buttons open. It reminded me of something a pirate would wear. I glanced back over at Dylan and saw him staring at the guy, his eyes narrowed. For some reason, I took a lot more pleasure in that look than I should have.

"Sure, why not," I told the guy, pointing at the chair next to me.

"I'm Dante," the guy told me.

"Dixie," I lied.

"Dixie and Dante…we're a match made in heaven. I knew I was looking at an angel."

Okay…What. The. Fuck.

"That's a line you actually use?" I asked bitchily.

"What do you mean, sweetness?"

"First of all, I'm not sweetness, baby, sugar, or any other stupid name you can think of. Secondly, what's with the shirt? The pirate look hasn't been in since Blackbeard, and even then that's debatable. And third, I'm an angel? Seriously? That is the dumbest fucking line I have ever heard in my entire life."

Dante looked stunned for a minute before he gave me the fucking hand and got up from the table storming off.

"Wow, I haven't seen _the hand _since the 90s. Nice way to keep it real, asshole," I shouted after him. I heard a snort next to me and felt my face flush when I realized it was Dylan.

"I was coming over to see if you needed rescuing," he explained.

"Do I seem the type of girl who needs rescuing?" I questioned.

"No, Leah," Dylan assured me, before adding so quietly he probably didn't think I could hear him, "You're definitely one of a kind."

I looked down at the table before glancing back at him feeling absurdly shy.

"Listen," Dylan said. "Do you want to join us? I think Whit's going to be dancing with your brother for awhile."

I glanced over at the dance floor where my brother was staring down at Whitney as she whispered something in his ear. As if they sensed my eyes on them, they both looked over and waved. I waved back and they went back to whispering to each other. I had a feeling they wouldn't be returning anytime soon. I realized I had a choice. I could either be stuck getting hit on by the Dante Dumbfucks of the bar, or I could have an enjoyable evening with Dylan.

"Okay, sure," I told him. Dylan gave me one of his brilliant smiles again.

"C'mon," he said. As soon as I stood next to him, he put his hand gently on my waist and guided me over to the table.

"Leah, this is my brother Kyle, his girlfriend Felicity, and two of our friends, Bobby and Miles."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely. They all nodded and greeted me. I was invited to sit down and more drinks were ordered. I noticed that only Dylan and I didn't drink any alcohol. A couple of hours later, the party was in full swing.

"I like you, Leah," Kyle told me after Dylan went to go get us a couple more sodas. "Can I be open with you though?"

"Sure," I said cautiously.

"I haven't seen my brother this happy in a long time. Anna's death almost killed him. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, Dylan's relaxed and happy. I think that has something to do with you. So don't be offended when I say this, but if you fuck with my brother I'll kill you."

I glanced at his face to see if he was serious or not. I wasn't worried about the threat, so much as the reason behind it. Did he really think that Dylan was emotionally attached to me? If he was, how did I feel about that?

Dylan came up to me then, holding our beverages. "Here you go, Leah."

"Thanks," I told him. Our eyes met and I had trouble looking away.

"Babe, let's dance," Kyle said, grabbing his girlfriend's hand and dragging her out on the dance floor. Dylan's other two friends left us to go scout out the area for some "chicks."

"So, you don't drink?" Dylan asked as he nodded towards my soda.

I decided to be honest. "Last time I drank, I got plastered and ended up sleeping with someone I shouldn't have."

"Ah…" Dylan said, giving me a half smile, before staring uncomfortably at his glass.

"What about you?" I questioned, wondering if he'd open up about his past.

"No," Dylan replied, his face becoming instantly closed. "Alcohol makes people do stupid things."

He looked up to see if I was offended. I laughed in return.

"Don't worry, I agree with you. Alcohol makes me do _very_ stupid things."

"So…uh," Dylan remarked after several minutes. "The guy you slept with…was he an ex or something?"

I eyed him carefully, before looking away. The fact that I'd slept with Will and hurt him still made me sick. "No. But he's really close to an ex-boyfriend of mine. They're so close, you could say they sometimes share the same brain."

Dylan laughed stiltedly. I gave a strained smiled in return before looking at the table and continuing, "It was revenge sex, pure and simple. I wanted to lash out, so I went after someone who was vulnerable. I hurt quite a few people, myself included. It was the lowest point in my life and I decided right then and there that I'd never touch alcohol again. And I haven't."

Dylan reached over and touched my hand where it was resting against my glass. He smiled gently at me.

"I'm sorry you had a tough time."

"Don't we all?" I replied bitterly and his face became stony. He quickly removed his hand from mine and began to fiddle with his glass.

"Hey," Dylan said, suddenly looking up. "Are you going to need a ride?"

"No, I'll just catch a cab with…" It was then that I noticed Seth and Whitney were nowhere to be seen.

"They left about an hour ago," Dylan informed me. "Didn't you see them wave over here?"

"No." I responded, silently cursing my brother and roommate. "I guess I should get going myself."

"It's no problem for me to give you a ride." When I started to shake my head no again, he added, "Please Leah. I need to know that you're home safely."

There was a slight panic to his tone and I knew he was thinking of his fiancée. Since I couldn't very well tell him that I could get in a car accident, walk away, and then take on twenty muggers, I agreed. And I had to admit…as much as the feminist in me protested, a part of me liked that I was being looked after by a man. It made me feel something that I hadn't felt in a long time when it came to the opposite sex…feminine and cherished.

I found myself nodding. "Okay."

"Great!" Dylan smiled happily. He got up from the table and went over to his brother. He whispered something in his ear. Kyle nodded and waved goodbye to me which I returned. Dylan hurried back.

"Ready?"

"Yeah," I replied.

Dylan reached down for my hand and together we maneuvered through the crowd. One we were outside, he reluctantly let go.

"I'm this way," he told me. We got into a blue Jeep Cherokee and headed to my place.

"Listen…" Dylan said, keeping his eyes firmly on the road. "I know this might seem really awkward given what happened with Miguel and Whitney tonight, but uh…would you maybe like to go get dinner sometime?"

I looked over to him with wide eyes. I noticed that his hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his shoulders rigid. My head began screaming at me a thousand reasons why I should say no.

Instead, I found myself saying, "Yes."

Dylan relaxed, his grip on the wheel loosening. He glanced over at me and smiled, sending my heart into overdrive. "Great, how about this Wednesday?"

I nodded. "Sounds good."

We soon pulled into my apartment. I turned to him. "Thanks for the ride."

"You're welcome," Dylan replied, his eyes drifting to my lips. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to kiss me or not, so I nodded to him and got out of the car.

"Night," I told him before shutting the door.

"Good night, Leah," he said softly.

I went to the door of my apartment and waved to him. He waved back before taking off. I watched his car until it disappeared around a corner. I closed my eyes briefly.

"What are you thinking, Clearwater?" I whispered, instantly reminding myself why it would be a bad idea to get involved with Dylan Gordon.

Sighing, I turned around to let myself in, just as I picked up another scent. Whirling back around, Miguel appeared in front of me.

"What the hell do you want?" I snapped.

"Is Whit home?" He questioned, looking slightly wild.

"How the fuck should I know?"

"Please Leah…I've got to talk to her. I need to tell her it was a mistake."

"Why the sudden change of heart?" I wondered, angry with him for the pain he put Whitney through.

"I got scared," Miguel admitted, running his hand through his hair. "I love her too much. I thought if she moved out to Arizona with me, the next step would be marriage. I thought I was too young for such a serious relationship. It was only after she said that she never wanted to see me again that I realized I was being an idiot. I've been trying to get a hold of her ever since."

A stupid sentimental part of me pitied Miguel for a minute.

"I don't know where she is," I told him honestly. "If I see her though, I'll tell her you were looking for her."

I turned around and let myself in. Miguel took me by surprise and barged in past me.

"Whitney?" He called out before heading towards her bedroom.

Two things hit me at once. There was a trail of clothes leading down the hall. And there was the very strong smell of sex coming from Whitney's bedroom.

I closed my eyes just as Miguel yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK!"

"What are you doing here?" I heard Whitney ask, her voice trembling.

"I came to ask you back. Instead, I find you fucking some random guy?"

I looked down at the floor and froze. I slowly bent down and picked a t-shirt off the floor. I knew that shirt. It belonged to my brother.

"You couldn't even wait ten minutes before hopping into bed with some asshole? You're a fucking whore!"

Before I could haul Miguel's ass out of the apartment, I heard the sound of a fist hitting flesh. Miguel went flying out of the room and hit the hallway wall with such force it broke upon impact. My brother came out of the room to stand over Miguel. He was in nothing but his boxers, which had bright yellow rubber duckies on them, but he was more intimidating than I'd ever seen him. He was a quivering tower of pure muscle.

"Get out of here," Seth said through gritted teeth.

"Miguel, are you okay?" Whitney ran past Seth, wearing nothing but a silk nightgown. She bent down on the ground and went to touch Miguel's rapidly swollen face, but he turned away from her.

"This was a mistake," he muttered as blood spilled from his mouth. "I shouldn't have come back here. I was crazy to beg you for a second chance."

He got up, wobbling slightly, and left, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Why did you have to do that?" Whitney turned on my brother and hit him on the chest. It didn't even register on him, but I saw Whitney wince as she rubbed her hand.

"He called you a whore," Seth whispered, looking devastated.

"He was pissed!" Whitney yelled. "And I was acting like a whore and now I've lost him forever. Oh God!"

Whitney went back in her room and slammed the door behind her. Even without my superior hearing, I would have heard the heart-wrenching sobs now coming from that area. Before I could go to her though, I looked back at my brother. He was staring at the floor blankly, but I could see the torment in his eyes.

"What were you thinking, Seth?" I whispered angrily. "You knew she was vulnerable."

"I didn't mean to have sex with her," Seth replied imploringly. He walked over to me. "One minute we were dancing, and the next she was rubbing herself all over me and I…"

"Got horny," I finished when he stopped speaking.

Shame filled his features. "Yeah."

"Your first time and it had to be with my roommate," I muttered. He smiled shakily in return.

"Well, was it everything you hoped for?" I questioned. As pissed as I was at Seth for taking advantage of Whitney when she was in an emotional state, I was also a little ticked at my roommate for using Seth for revenge.

Seth looked sheepish and uncomfortable at the same time before he answered me. "The first time, I kind of lost control a little too quick and it was over before it even really began. The second time was better though. And then the third time was going great until that jackass interrupted us."

I did a quick mental count of how much time had lapsed between Seth and Whitney leaving the club until now. I whistled softly.

"My brother's a stud," I half-heartedly joked.

"Please don't repeat that in front of the guys," Seth pleaded.

"They're gonna know anyway…pack mentality and all."

"Oh shit…" Seth whimpered. "They'll never let me forget this, will they?"

"Nope," I returned, feeling satisfaction at Seth's predicament. Serves him right for letting his hormones take over his conscience. I turned back in the direction of Whitney's room where I could hear her crying still.

Sighing, I made my way inside her room. Wrapping my arm around her, I half dragged her to my room and hugged her through the night as she cried out her heartbreak.

xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx

You can still vote for the Silent Tear Awards. Voting goes till June 20! Forbidden Imprint (Embry's Story), has been nominated for the "Forbidden Love" category.

http:/silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

And don't forget to nominate your favorite stories for the TwiTastic Awards. Nominations are still being accepted until June 19.

http:/twitasticawards(dot)webs(dot)com/

**Please review! To all the soccer fans, go Team USA! ;)**


	12. Dylan

**Chapter Prologue**

You know, I understand the draw of imprinting though I've never imprinted myself. You find the one you're supposed to be with and you might try to resist that person. You know it's better to stay away from them, because it's always in the back of your mind that you could hurt them at any moment. But as much as you try to reason with yourself, you just can't keep away.

In some ways, falling in love with Dylan helped me to understand Sam's mindset a lot more. He knew he was dangerous for Emily, especially after he injured her. But he couldn't _not_ be with her. Just like Dylan and me.

I didn't want to fall in love with him, you see. I didn't even want to give him a chance. I knew Dylan deserved to be with someone better. Someone who didn't have to fear looking at some stranger on a bus only to imprint on them. However, I couldn't stop myself from falling for Dylan anymore than the Earth can stop turning (God, he makes me cheesy).

Now, I know some of you might be wondering how our first date went, right? Was it fine dining and caviar? Hell no! We were both struggling college students with rent and tuition to pay. But it was still one of the most romantic dates I've ever been on in my life.

And I'll say this for Dylan. The man is smooth. He knows what he wants and he goes after it. That's why I knew by the end of our date, I was in trouble…

**Chapter 12 – Dylan**

_Leah's POV_

"Hey," Whitney said, as she came into our apartment through the front door. Her eyes were red and she had a sorrow-filled expression on her face that made my heart break. She'd been like this for the past few days. Ever since Miguel walked in on her with Seth.

Poor Seth had hightailed it out of the apartment as soon as he could the morning after he slept with Whitney. As I warned my brother, the pack saw what had happened between him and my room mate and had teased Seth relentlessly. Thank goodness I was retired so I didn't have to endure anymore of that crap.

"Hey," I answered back. "How was work?"

I hadn't been scheduled to work at the spa today, but Whitney had to go in early.

"It was all right," Whitney responded, coming to sit tiredly next to me on the couch. "I really hope you decide to study business management. I still think it would be a good idea for us to open up our own spa. With my dad's connections in the music industry, we could have some high profiled customers whenever musicians come to Seattle. I think it could be really successful."

"I said I'd think about it," I reminded her before looking nervously away.

"What's up?" Whitney asked as she inspected my face closely.

"What?" I tried to say innocently.

"I know that look on your face. What do you have to tell me? Did you break something of mine or something?"

"No, of course not," I returned. "I just…I do actually have something to tell you."

"Oh God, what?" Whitney questioned stiffly. "Does it have something to do with M-Miguel?'

"Not in the way you might think," I said hesitantly. "I kinda sorta accepted a date with Dylan."

"What?" Whitney asked in an astonished tone.

"I'm going on a date tomorrow with Dylan," I repeated.

Whitney jerked up off the couch and looked at me with accusing eyes. "How could you do this to me?"

"Whitney, I-"

"No, I don't want to hear it," she interrupted as she began to pace. "Miguel just dumped me this weekend and now you're going out with his best friend? You're supposed to be my closest friend. Where's the fucking loyalty? Why don't you just kick me while you're at it?"

She turned and fled down the hall, slamming her bedroom door behind her. I felt sick. I didn't want this to come between me and Whitney. She was one of the very few friends I had that didn't involve the pack. I looked over at my purse which held my cell phone. I hadn't thought of how much the idea of me going out with Dylan might affect Whitney.

I got up from where I was sitting and went over to my purse. Pulling my phone out of my bag, I turned it on and looked up my contacts. When Dylan's name popped up, my finger hovered over the send button. I knew it was for the best if I cancelled our date. And yet…I couldn't get myself to hit the button. I loved Whitney. She was like my sister. But I hadn't dated anyone since Sam.

I wanted to go out with Dylan, even if it was selfish of me considering I could imprint at anytime. Dylan wasn't just some guy though. He was quickly becoming way too important to me. Truth was, the idea of not going out with him all but shattered me.

Sighing, I placed my hand that was holding my phone on the table. I didn't let go of it. Instead, I stared at it blankly. A pathetic, lonely tear spilled from the corner of one of my eyes. Who did I hurt, Dylan or Whitney?

Before I had to make the decision, Whitney came out of her room looking remorseful. She glanced at my face before her eyes traveled to the cell phone locked in my tight grip.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice groggy from crying.

"I'm going to cancel my date," I replied, finally making a decision.

Whitney came over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Don't be an idiot just because I'm behaving like one."

"What?" I looked at her like she was crazy.

"I'm sorry," Whitney whispered. "You didn't deserve what I said. You've been one of the most supportive people I know, and after everything Dylan has been through, I'd be a complete shit to interfere with anything that might develop between you two."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked cautiously.

"No," she sniffed. "I think it's awesome."

She gave me a watery smile before asking, "So what are you going to wear? And where are you going?"

"Out to dinner."

"Casual or fine dining?"

"Err." I honestly didn't know. Whitney rolled her eyes and managed to pry my phone out of my kung-fu grip. She hit the send button before I knew what she was doing.

"Leah, hey." I could hear Dylan's voice immediately answer.

"It's Whitney," she responded. "Listen, about your date tomorrow. Where are you taking Leah?"

"Oh," Dylan replied in a surprised tone. "Hey Whit. I thought I'd take her to the Red Dragon for dinner."

"Really?" Whitney exclaimed disdainfully.

"Don't you think she'd like it?" I heard the worried tone in his voice and had to turn away to hide my smile. Whitney didn't know that I could hear everything they were saying.

I could feel Whitney's eyes on me before she responded. "No, I'm sure she'd like it. Talk to you later, Dylan."

She disconnected the call and looked at me. "Casual dining it is. So what are you going to wear?"

"Umm, I think just a t-shirt and jeans."

"No, no, no." Whitney immediately dismissed the idea. "You've got an amazing body. What you need to wear is a skirt…something really short."

"I don't want to look like a slut," I snorted.

"Please, you both could use a little action," she snickered before her face flushed. I knew she was probably thinking about this weekend and what happened with my brother.

Looking up to the ceiling for mystical guidance, I said, "All right…I'll let you give me a make-over."

"Really?" Whitney asked excitedly.

"Sure, why not," I shrugged.

Whitney made a noise that sounded like, "eep," right before she hugged me. After I got out of work the next day, I came home and was immediately ordered to shower. Once I was out, Whitney set my hair in rollers before applying a charcoal color eyeshadow to my eyelids along with some dark eyeliner. Adding blush to my cheeks and a pink lip gloss, she fixed my hair so that it fell into wild waves down just above my shoulders. Next, Whitney handed me some clothes I didn't recognize.

"Where did this come from?" I wondered.

"Just think of it as a thank you present for letting me give you the works tonight," Whitney replied.

Shaking my head, I slipped into the gray micro-mini shirt she had handed me. I then put on a feminine gray shell blouse that had black swirls on it. Next, Whitney handed me a pair of multi-strapped stiletto black sandals.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked. "I'll kill myself in those shoes."

"Nah, they're perfect…if you fall, Dylan will be there to catch you," Whitney said smugly.

"Oh God," I muttered as I slipped the shoes on. Standing up, I immediately wobbled.

"Haven't you ever worn heels before?" Whitney questioned as she grabbed my hand to keep from falling over.

"It's been a few years since I attempted to wear something with this high a heel," I explained, gingerly taking a few steps. After a few unsure moments, my wolf instincts kicked in and I immediately adjusted, learning just the right balance that I needed.

"See, no problem," Whitney said proudly. "Well, let me look at you."

She took a step back and circled me. "You need one more thing."

Grabbing a long silver chained necklace she put it over my head before handing me long, dangly silver earrings. Once I had them in, Whitney nodded in satisfaction.

"Damn Leah, you look hot. Dylan is going to go apeshit."

"Yeah right." I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm serious." Whitney grabbed my arm and dragged me into the bathroom and placed me in front of the mirror. "Look at yourself. You look amazing."

I stared at myself in the mirror and did a double take. I didn't even recognize myself. I slowly turned my head from one side to the next. I looked like…a woman. I didn't see one trace of the wolf that lurked just underneath the surface.

"I don't believe it," I whispered.

"Yep, you're a hottie," Whitney smiled smugly. She dramatically brushed her hands against each other. "And my work here is done."

She turned and went into the living room area. I stayed where I was. I couldn't get over the change in me. It wasn't just that I looked like a member of the female sex. I was fascinated by the glimmer in my eyes. For so long, anytime when I bothered to look at myself, I always had eyes that seemed so dead and lifeless…as though life had beaten me into a pulp and there was nothing left inside. Now my eyes shimmered with an excitement that could barely be contained. I heard a knock on the door and felt my heart begin to gallop wildly.

"Hey Dylan," I heard Whitney say.

"Hey Whit, how's it going?" Dylan asked politely.

"Oh you know, same old same old. I haven't slept with anyone new in the past few days, so that's good, right?"

I closed my eyes and cringed. _Thanks Whitney for getting the date off on the right foot._

Grabbing my small gray silk handbag, I quickly walked into the living room before Whitney could spew any more verbal diarrhea. Dylan looked like he was about to say something to her when he caught sight of me. His mouth dropped open slightly and I felt my confidence shoot through the roof.

"Wow," he said under his breath. Collecting himself, he smiled sexily at me and said, "Hey Leah, you look beautiful."

"Thanks," I murmured. Dylan came over and lightly brushed his lips over my cheek. Even in my stilettos, he was several inches taller than me. My stupid stomach began to twist nervously.

I looked at Dylan carefully. He was wearing a black polo shirt with khaki pants. The darkness of the shirt seemed to bring out the bright blueness of his eyes. Holy shit, this guy was way too hot.

"You look good, too," I told him. He gave me a half smile.

"Thanks," he replied. "You ready?"

"Yeah." I turned to Whitney and gave her a hug, whispering, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she whispered back before saying in a louder tone. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

For a minute, I had a horrible feeling that Dylan was going to say something really sarcastic. Something that would either piss Whitney off or make her burst into tears. He even opened his mouth as though he were about to speak. He wisely glanced at me first though, and upon seeing the warning on my face, headed towards the front door instead, making sure to open it for me. Giving Whitney a weak smile, I followed him. We didn't speak until we were in Dylan's Jeep Cherokee.

"So…she's in a mood, huh?" Dylan remarked after we got settled into the vehicle and he put the car in drive.

"What do you expect? She just got her heart devastated," I replied, instantly defensive.

"She didn't even wait a few hours before she slept with some other guy," Dylan argued.

"First off, that _other guy_ is my brother. Secondly, as I told you at the bar, did you really expect Whitney to wait around for Miguel? And third, if Miguel is so pissed off at Whitney, maybe he shouldn't have dumped her in the first place."

Dylan's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this," he gritted out, pulling the car to a stop as we hit a red light.

"Or maybe you should just take me home?" I responded, folding my arms across my chest and looking out the window.

I heard Dylan suck in a breath. He turned to face me. "Look, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. It's just that I've known Miguel since freshman year. He's like a brother to me. Miguel really helped me through a tough time in my life and I hate that he's hurting now."

My heart melted slightly. I'd say this about Dylan. He certainly was loyal, even if his friend was an imbecile.

"Well, I love Whitney like a sister," I replied before looking at his handsome albeit worried face. Letting out a breath, I added, "How about we agree to not talk about Whitney or Miguel and just enjoy our date?"

"Agreed." Dylan smiled at me, his shoulders relaxing as he held out his hand. I took it and shook it. When I went to let go, he held onto me. His thumb started running back and forth across my traitorous pulse line, which was now beating crazily against the skin of my wrist. A loud horn made us both jerk away. Laughing self-consciously, Dylan returned his attention to the road and put the car back into motion.

I took several deep breaths in an attempt to control myself. I could feel my inner wolf smelling the air hopefully. The guys always talked about how their wolves would go into "mate" mode and they'd pretty much nail the first available female that crossed their paths. I was going to have more control than them…or at least die trying.

We soon arrived at a Chinese restaurant. It looked like a hole in the wall kind of place that you almost anticipated would be a dive. I was reassured, however, by the crowd of people waiting in line.

"I hope you like Chinese," Dylan said.

"Yeah, I love it." I nodded.

"Good," Dylan replied. He jumped out of the car and hurried to my side. We walked in and were immediately seated.

"How'd you manage that?" I asked, looking back at the crowd still waiting.

"I've got connections." He gave me another one of his killer smiles.

"Really? Am I sitting with a powerful man?"

He lifted his eyebrows up and down once. "Oh yeah, you should be in awe."

"Tell me then, oh great and powerful wizard, where did you get such powerful connections?"

The lines around Dylan's eyes crinkled in merriment. I didn't think I'd ever seen him look so relaxed and happy.

"Truth?" he asked.

"Absolutely," I replied.

"I used to work here part time," Dylan confessed. "I know. It's not really glamorous, but it helped me pay for school."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," I assured him. "Plus, it gets you to the front of the line at least."

Dylan chuckled. "I know the place doesn't look like much, but they have the best lo mein noodles in town."

"Is that a fact?" I smiled back. The waiter came over to us and we placed our order. While we were waiting, Dylan sat back in his chair and looked at me.

"So…have you decided on a major yet?"

"I think I'm going to declare it this year. Whitney wants us to open up a spa together. I was thinking of going into business management. Whitney would handle the day to day operations, while I handled the more behind the scenes work."

"Is that what you want to do?" Dylan asked, his eyes intent on my face.

I shrugged. "As long as it keeps me out of La Push."

"What's so wrong about returning home?" Dylan wondered curiously.

I looked down at the table with a frown. "It just has a lot of bad memories for me. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Sure," Dylan replied in instant understanding. "So you'll be the spa's general manger then."

"Right." I nodded.

"Do you have any managerial experience?"

"No," I said, suddenly lost in thought. "But if I can handle being Beta, I can handle that."

"Beta?" Dylan questioned.

"Hmm?" I responded, my mind still thinking about Dylan's question.

"What do you mean you were a Beta?"

My eyes snapped to his face. What the hell did I just say? "Oh…uh…sorry, inside joke."

"You want to explain it to me?" Dylan asked, his sapphire blue eyes sparkling. I forgot my own name momentarily as I stared at the sheer beauty of the man sitting across from me.

Smiling somewhat sadly, I said, "Maybe…someday."

"I'll take you up on that," Dylan returned softly.

"What about you?" I asked. "It's your senior year. What are your plans after you get your degree? Are you going to join Miguel in Arizona or anything?"

I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

"I thought about it, but I think I might stay in Seattle." Dylan's eyes lingered on my face. "I mean, for what I want to do, I can basically live anywhere in the country."

"What exactly do you want to do?"

"I want to set up computer systems for corporations. I'm going to be starting an internship in the fall with a company I hope to get in. If they hire me, I'll be traveling all over the world setting up their systems and troubleshooting for them. But I'll be able to base my home in Seattle."

"That sounds cool getting to travel like that."

"Do you travel much?" Dylan asked.

"Not really. I've been to California, but that's it," I responded. My trip to California hadn't been a happy one as my dad had sent me into a month long exile while Sam tried to win Emily.

"Maybe I can show you the world someday," Dylan said, before laughing. "Sorry, that was a really cheesy line."

I giggled in return. "It was, but I might take you up on your offer."

Dylan's grin widened. We were interrupted by our food being delivered. We spent the rest of our meal discussing different topics. As it turned out, I had a lot in common with Dylan. It was actually a little eerie how well we suited each other. When dinner finally ended, we left the restaurant and walked outside.

"Hey, are your shoes up for a little hike?" Dylan wondered, looking down at the offending sandals on my feet.

"I think so," I replied. Even if my feet bled, I'd walk anywhere he asked me to.

"C'mon." Dylan reached down and grabbed my hand.

I was trying very hard not to be one of those girls who goes brain dead just because the hottest man to be put on the planet is touching them. If I could survive being in Sam's mind, I could certainly handle Dylan holding my hand. If my stomach suddenly felt like it had a million butterflies in it, it _had _to be due to some allergic reaction to the food we'd just eaten, and nothing whatsoever to do with Dylan's very presence.

We walked for a little while, continuing to talk casually. Dylan had a great sense of humor and he was so easy to talk to, I forgot to over think everything and just relaxed in his company. That was, until we stopped in front of the Courtyard Marriott.

"So…" Dylan started to say hesitantly. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but will you go inside with me? There's something I want to show you."

"And what's that?" I asked stiffly, immediately thinking the worst.

"I used to work here as well. There's something I want to show you on the roof." He looked down at his watch. "And you have about ten minutes to decide before the surprise is ruined."

If he hadn't been so freaking charming in that moment, I would have said no. Instead, I took a step towards the hotel entrance.

"Fine," I agreed. "But just so you know, if you try anything, I'll kick your ass across the room."

Dylan chuckled. "You think you can take me?"

I stopped and looked at him before saying in a deadly serious tone. "I can promise you I can."

Dylan looked at me speculatively as we entered the building.

"Look," Dylan said. "I think you have the wrong idea here. I'm not the kind of guy who takes advantage of women. I wouldn't even think of trying something like that. If you're not comfortable coming with me, we can leave right now."

I eyed him carefully before shaking my head. "No…it's fine. Let's see what this surprise is."

He nodded and made his way over to the check-in desk while I waited in the lobby. The girl behind the counter greeted him by name. He leaned over and whispered that he needed the passkey to the roof. The girl became instantly flustered and reached under her desk, pulling out a plastic key. I smiled sardonically. I knew the effect he was having on the girl. But there was no way she was getting him. I felt a growl emerging from the depths inside me and I quickly swallowed it down. An old couple next to me gave me a funny look.

I pounded on my chest a couple of times and said, "Gas."

Looking disgusted, they walked away with their noses in the air. Snickering, I waited for Dylan to return.

"Ready?" he asked, as he made his way back over to me.

"Yes," I said, grabbing his arm possessively.

Smiling at my voluntary contact, Dylan put his hand over mine and we made our way into the elevator. He put the plastic card he was given into a slot and the doors closed in front of us. When they opened again, we were on a roof that was obviously not meant for hotel guests. It looked like it was used mainly for maintenance.

"What did you used to do at the hotel?" I wondered as we stepped out into the evening air.

"Everything," Dylan replied as he guided me to the side of the building. A brick wall that went as high as my ribcage blocked anyone from falling over the edge.

I looked around but didn't see any surprises. "So, uh, no offense, but this is kind of a letdown."

"Patience," Dylan instructed. Not even a minute later, soft rock music began to fill the air.

I glanced around then looked back at Dylan. "Where is that coming from?"

Dylan took my hand and led me to the other side of the building. From there, I could see a park filled with people. I also saw a band on a platform playing live music.

"That's South Lake Union Park," Dylan whispered close to my ear. "They used to do these concerts on a pier before they moved it to the location you're looking at now."

I turned my head slightly and saw that I was a mere inch or so from Dylan's mouth. My eyes immediately drifted to his lips.

"We're going to slow it down for our next song, folks," the singer of the band announced to the eager crowd. The chords of a familiar song started.

_I know it's late, I know you're weary  
I know your plans don't include me  
Still here we are, both of us lonely  
Longing for shelter from all that we see _

"Is that a Bob Seger song?" I asked, turning my head to look back at the band.

"I think so," Dylan replied, his forehead furrowing adorably. "I think it's 'We've Got Tonight.'"

I smiled at him as I tried to hold back sentimental tears.

"What?" Dylan asked, his eyes carefully examining the emotions running rampant on my face.

"My dad loved Bob Seger. He used to play his albums in our family store."

"You say that in the past tense."

"My dad died a couple of years ago," I told him sadly.

"I'm sorry, Leah," Dylan said sincerely. "I really am. I lost someone I was really close to last year."

I hesitated before deciding to be honest. "I heard about that. I'm sorry, too."

Dylan looked haunted for a moment as he realized I knew the truth. The music continued to play in the background.

_Deep in my soul, I've been so lonely  
All of my hopes, fading away  
_

Dylan moved from my side and turned so that we were facing each other. He tenderly reached up and pushed a strand of hair back away from my face.

"I guess we've both suffered a lot then."

"Yeah," I agreed quietly. "I guess we have."

_So there it is girl, I've said it all now  
And here we are babe, what do you say?  
_

"Do you want to dance, Leah?" Dylan asked, already bringing me close to his body, his hands resting on my waist. We began to sway back and forth. I tentatively moved my hands up so that I could place them on his shoulders.

"You know, this song is about being a one-night stand and having no regrets the next day," I rambled nervously.

"Leah," Dylan said with a slight smile. "Shh."

He moved his hands so that they cupped my face. I closed my eyes just as Dylan's lips brushed lightly against mine. He pulled away, but before I even had a chance to open my eyes again, I felt his mouth more firmly on mine. He nibbled lightly on my bottom lip until I gasped as heat raced across my skin. Only this time, I wasn't worried about phasing. It was an incredible feeling, one I'd never truly experienced before.

Never one to be shy, I opened my mouth and let my tongue pass between his lips so that I could tease the inside of his mouth. Dylan moved his hands from my cheeks and wrapped his arms around me so that we were pressed more fully against each other. We were so close together that I felt his rising excitement against my body. The wolf inside me began to yip excitedly.

I moved my hand towards the waistline of his jeans. Dylan froze before taking a step back, breaking off our kiss. He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my palm before releasing me. He was rejecting me. I blushed in humiliation even as my inner wolf howled in frustration.

"Leah," Dylan murmured. "I like you…but I'm not looking to sleep with you tonight."

"Fine," I said shortly, moving away from him so that he wouldn't see the tears of embarrassment forming in my eyes. His arms went around me from behind but I held myself stiff.

"It's just that…I've done the casual sex thing before," he explained, turning me so that I was facing him. "And then I had sex with someone that I really loved. There's no better feeling than that. I know this isn't something a guy would normally admit to, but I don't want a one night stand. I want something more than that. I want to make love to someone, not just have casual sex. Do you get where I'm coming from?"

I didn't say anything, but I had to admit to myself that I understood what he meant. Sex with Sam had been fantastic because I had loved him with all my heart. Sex with Will had been devastating. But there was something more important in this conversation I had to worry about. Dylan didn't want to sleep with me unless our emotions were involved. I wasn't sure if I wanted things to get that serious. Then again, I had the feeling that I was already more emotionally involved with Dylan than I wanted to be.

He continued, "When we're at the point where we're ready to sleep together, trust me Leah, it'll be amazing."

I lifted my chin. "You're very confident. What makes you think we'll ever get to that point?"

"God, I hope we do," Dylan muttered, before bringing me close again and pressing his lips to mine once more.

It was over before things could get heated. He released me and gave me his addicting little half smile before turning and heading towards the elevator. I followed and we soon left the hotel, heading back to his Jeep. We made light conversation as he drove me home. He walked me to my door and kissed me tenderly before leaving with a promise to call me soon.

As I watched him leave, I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces. Allowing our relationship to go any further would result in nothing but disaster. I couldn't risk it no matter how much I might want to.

What I needed to do was date other guys and keep my options open.

And hopefully I would find my imprint…before I could ruin either Dylan's or my life any further.

xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx

**A/N – No worries, as Leah said in the prologue, she doesn't resist Dylan for long. ;)**

**Please review!**


	13. Gracie

**Chapter Prologue**

Trying to resist Dylan was probably one of the most fruitless things I've ever done in my life. After our first date, I knew that if I didn't do everything in my power to avoid him, I would fall completely in love with him. I couldn't allow that to happen, so I avoided him.

It wasn't that hard to do. He phoned me a few times after our date, and I let the calls go into voicemail. Then one day he showed up at my apartment. I still cringe when I think back to the things I said to him.

The conversation went something like this…

"_I thought we had a good time on our date," Dylan said in a baffled tone as he stood in the doorway to my apartment._

"_We did," I responded coldly, silently cursing myself for answering the door._

"_Then why haven't you returned any of my calls?" Dylan asked, his confusion turning to frustration._

"_Look, you seem like a nice guy, you really do," I told him condescendingly. "But I just don't see it happening between us." _

_Dylan's eyes flashed his irritation._

"_What it is with you, Leah?" he asked, running his hand through his hair angrily. "I don't know how to read you. One minute you're this funny, caring woman. The next you're standoffish and a bit-"_

"_A bitch?" I finished when he didn't continue. "You wouldn't be the first guy to call me that and you probably won't be the last."_

_I started to shut the door in his face, but Dylan put his foot in the way. Short of hurting him and revealing my less than human side, I just raised an eyebrow at him._

"_You're not as tough as you pretend to be," Dylan whispered. "Don't__you think I can't see that? For some reason, you think you have to put on this act, but I see you, Leah…I see you."_

"_What you think you see is an illusion," I told him and eager to get him out of my life, I said the one remark that I knew would cut him the deepest. "I know you're looking for a replacement for your dead fiancée, but I'm not it." _

_Dylan straightened and quickly removed his foot from my door. _

"_Is that what you think I'm trying to do?" he asked in an incredulous tone._

"_I know that's what you're trying to do," I replied before heartlessly adding, "Sorry, but I'm not going to be a substitute in any man's life."_

_Dylan shook his head before saying lowly, "God, I'd love to know who fucked you up so badly, Leah."_

_I jerked my head down so he wouldn't see the tears that sprang into my eyes. Dylan reached for me and tilted up my head. I glared at him in return._

_Sighing he let me go. "Fine. To hell with it then."_

And he left. I knew I hurt Dylan, but my intentions were honestly good. The idea of allowing myself to get close to anyone again, especially someone as wonderful as him, only to imprint on someone else was intolerable.

School started up shortly after our last encounter and I threw myself into it. I also started dating with the determination of a serial killer going after another victim. I was methodical about it, picking certain guys to go out with and willing myself to imprint on them during our date. When it didn't happen, I'd run as far away as I could.

It took the advice of a good friend and a major event to shake me into realizing what a jackass I was being…

**Chapter 13 – Gracie**

Leah's POV

I ate my sandwich in misery as I glanced down at my watch. I had to be in class in about ten minutes. I didn't have much of a break between classes so I typically brought something to eat with me. I usually parked myself on an outside bench near my classroom and people-watched as I ate.

I couldn't wait for all my wolf symptoms to go away, especially the part about always being hungry. I was told it'd take a few years for the magic to go dormant. Sighing, I took a swig from my bottled water and got up, making my way over to the garbage bin and throwing away the remnants of my meal. As I turned to make my way towards my class, my heart leaped as I saw a familiar figure in the distance.

I hadn't seen Dylan since he showed up at my apartment a few weeks ago, demanding to know what my problem was after I blew him off after our date. It was silly considering we had only gone out that one time, but I missed him. I tried to move on. I had gone out on more random dates these past few weeks than I had in my entire dating career. I was going to find my imprint or die trying. Sometimes, I'd get on a bus and just ride around for hours, hoping to meet my imprint. Most of the time I'd either creep people out, they'd creep me out, or I got a date out of it. It didn't matter how many guys I went out with though, my stupid heart kept yearning for one.

I briefly wondered if Dylan would even give me a second chance after the terrible things I said to him. A smile suddenly lit up his face as he looked in my direction. I felt myself grinning back and was about to wave to him when some blonde came flying out of the glass doors in the building next to me. She went running towards him. I watched with a sickening stomach as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her close.

I started to shake and quickly turned on my heel to get away from him. To hell with class. I couldn't risk going right now. Though I knew I had no right to be, I was pissed to see Dylan with some other girl. I felt like I might phase for the first time in a year.

I made it back to my apartment and quickly threw my book bag on the couch before kicking off my shoes. Still trembling, I laid on the floor and curled myself into child's pose. Thank goodness Whitney had talked me into taking yoga classes with her. I tried to channel all my energy into something positive, but all I could do was chant silently, _please don't phase, please don't phase._

A knock on the door distracted me, helping me to calm down. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was only 3 pm. I wasn't expecting anyone. Going to the front door, I opened it and was surprised to see Jacob on the other side.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.

Jacob grinned. "It's nice to see you too, Leah."

"Sorry," I laughed, giving him a quick hug, before stepping back so he could enter the apartment. "I just…I wasn't expecting you. How's Nessie?"

Jacob smiled. "She's good. She's amazing in fact. She's gotten really big. The kid looks like she's eight yet her current bedtime story is Homer's _Iliad._

"I take it she liked the birthday present I sent her," I remarked. "I got her thank you email."

Ness's birthday was last week. She just turned two. I knew she liked books so I sent her the entire Harry Potter series.

"Yeah, she loved the books." Jake chuckled. "She was so excited about them, she spent the rest of her birthday reading each one to me."

I let out a snicker, feeling myself relax even more. "That sounds like Lil' M. I bet you enjoyed that."

"I got to spend time with Ness, so I was happy," Jake replied simply before looking around the apartment with a confused expression. "So what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned in bewilderment.

He rubbed his neck before eyeing me carefully. "Alpha intuition. I know when a pack member's not doing so well. Even though you're technically retired, I can still feel when something's off. It's kind of a pain in the ass, really. So what's up?"

"Nothing," I tried to tell him, sitting on the couch and pulling my knees to my chest.

"Nothing huh?" Jake shook his head. "Why don't you just tell ole Jakey what's wrong so I don't have to make a second trip back here."

He sat down next to me and patted me on the head. I jerked away and rolled my eyes at him.

"You're such a dork," I said with a grin.

"Yeah, but you were the one who was adamant about being in my pack. It's really your fault we're stuck with each other. Now spill so I can have some peace."

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled.

"Ah…" Jake said with a grimace. "Is this about, you know…women stuff?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "If you're asking me if I had my period yet and I'm suffering from a month long case of PMS, then no. That still hasn't returned."

"Oh thank God," Jake muttered before folding his hands together across his chest. "So what is it then…guy problems?"

"Jake, seriously-"

"Guy problems it is." Jake looked thoughtful before he stood up. He grabbed my arm and lifted me up, too. "I'm hungry. Any place around here where we can get some ice cream?"

Taken aback by his sudden switch in topic, I looked at him like he was crazy. He looked at me innocently in return and said, "What? I'm hungry."

Shaking my head, I stated, "There's a deli a few miles away we can go to."

"Great, we can walk and talk," Jake replied, bending down to grab my shoes off the floor and throwing them at me.

Grumbling, I slid them back on and grabbed my purse. Stepping outside the apartment, I looked around. "Where's your car?"

"Didn't feel like driving," Jake said as he sniffed the air. "I smell food. I take it we go this way."

He looked pointedly in one direction and I nodded.

"Are you telling me you ran here?" I asked as we started walking.

"Yep," he replied, emphasizing the "p" as he spoke. "It only takes forty-five minutes if we run in wolf form, maybe even shorter if we push it. Now stop trying to change the subject. Tell me what's going on, Leah."

And so I told him. I went into great detail as we walked. Jake listened closely, nodding and making the appropriate responses when called for. We entered the deli and got our food, sitting down in a private corner so we could finish our talk in privacy.

"So let me get this straight," Jake said, his mouth full of food. "You like the guy, but you're afraid you'll imprint and hurt him like Sam hurt you, so you don't want anything to do with him, right?"

"Yeah," I replied, taking a sip from my glass of soda.

Jacob shook his head and made a scoffing noise.

"What?" I asked.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when Leah Clearwater acted cowardly, that's all," Jake said simply, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

I sat back in my chair as though Jacob had hit me. "Excuse me?"

"Leah, you know there is only a fifty percent chance that you'll imprint, right?"

"Look how many guys in the pack have imprinted so far. You, Quil, Sam, Paul, Jared. What if I'm next? I can't hurt Dylan that way, not after everything he's been through."

"And what if you don't imprint?" Jacob questioned. "Are you going to spend the rest of your life miserable and alone? This guy sounds like he's really into you. See, miracles can happen."

"Shut-up, jerk," I grumbled at his insult and Jake laughed.

"I think you should give the guy a chance. You obviously like him enough where it's causing you enough misery that I can feel it. Your bad attitude is starting to affect my sparkling disposition."

"Oh brother," I muttered.

Jake grinned before saying more seriously, "I get where you're coming from, Leah. I know you're scared. But you're not the type to sit on your ass and let life pass you by; you never have been. You used to wrestle vampires, for Christ's sake."

"What if I imprint though?" I whispered.

"You take the risk," Jacob instructed. He then added to my surprise, "Why don't you just tell him the truth?"

"About the pack?" I questioned and Jake nodded. "I can't do that. That's need to know."

"In Sam's pack, sure. But since you're in my pack, I'm giving you permission. Tell Dylan everything and give him the option."

"He'll think I'm crazy," I immediately rejected the idea. "If he doesn't think I'm crazy, then he'll think that I'm a freak."

Jacob gave me a funny smirk. "Well, no one ever said that falling in love was supposed to be easy. Take a chance, Leah. Hell, you deserve as much happiness as the rest of us."

"Would you ever turn your back on Ness?" I wondered. "I mean, if Bella suddenly said that she wanted to run away with you, would you want to?"

"No," Jake said immediately. "First off, Bella's a little too smelly these days for my taste."

I laughed and he continued, "Seriously though, I don't even think about Bella that way anymore. It's hard to imagine a time in my life when I _did_ think I was in love with her. Ness is my whole world. She's all I see."

My shoulders dropped. I'd hoped to hear it was possible to reject an imprint. If it was, then I wouldn't have to worry about hurting Dylan. I could still stay with him no matter what happened.

"Leah, tell Dylan the truth," Jacob implored, reading me as carefully as he always did. "Let him choose if it's worth the risk."

"I can't," I whispered. "Not right now. But I will think about what you said. Maybe I can at least tell him some stuff. You know, about Sam, and gloss over the imprinting bit."

"Well do what you need to do, but stop being miserable," Jake ordered in a tone that made me smile.

"All right, Alpha leader," I joked.

"Good," Jake replied in satisfaction. "Speaking of Sam, what do you think of Emily's condition? I'm surprised you didn't call me when you heard the news."

"What news?" I asked in surprise.

"Oh…" Jake responded, his face suddenly red. "Ah, I should get going."

"Jacob Black, what condition? Is Em sick?" I questioned, instantly worrying.

"Why don't you give her a call?" Jake remarked, nudging my purse towards me where it rested on our table. "I really have to head for home."

I was already pulling my phone out of my bag, but I paused as Jake got up from the table. I stood up too and gave him a hug.

"Thanks for checking up on me," I told him. "Give Renesmee a hug for me."

"I will," Jake replied as he pulled away. "If you need anything, you give me a call, got it?"

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I will."

"Cool," Jake said before giving me a quick grin. "Later, Clearwater."

He left the deli and I immediately hit speed dial on my phone. I left the eatery and started walking. Emily answered cheerfully moments later.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked immediately.

I heard Emily release a frustrated breath. "Who told?"

"Never mind that. What's going on, Emily?"

"Nothing…just a slight case of pregnancy."

"You're pregnant again?" I asked in shock. "How far are you?"

"Um, I'm due in January."

I did a quick calculation and almost dropped my phone. "Em, that's in four months!"

"Yeah," she said sheepishly.

"Wow…and Nate's just shy of his first birthday." I whistled. "Damn, you're going to have your hands full."

Emily laughed. "Don't I know it."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I questioned. "Why didn't my mom or Seth tell me?"

"I was hoping you would come home for Thanksgiving and I could tell you in person. As for your family, I asked them to let me tell you because I…I wanted to see if you would maybe consider being the baby's godmother."

"Oh…" I said, feeling stunned.

"It's a girl," Emily added hurriedly. "We're going to name her Gracie Emeline. Sam kind of insisted on the Emeline part."

I could picture her rolling her eyes while her cheeks flushed in embarrassment at the idea of a namesake.

"Em, I don't know if I'd be the right one for the job. I'm not exactly religious or anything."

"Will you at least think about it?" Emily pleaded.

"Sure," I agreed.

"Thanks Lee," Emily replied in relief before asking, "So when _are_ you planning on coming home?"

Sighing, I admitted, "I don't know…I've got a lot going on here. But I'll probably come home when the baby is born. Even if I'm not her godmother, I'd still like to see her."

"Oh…okay," Emily murmured disappointedly. Her cheerfulness sounded forced when she asked, "What about you? How are things going?"

"I'm fine," I replied. "Classes started a couple weeks ago and I'm putting in a lot of hours working at the spa."

"And what about guys?" she questioned. "Any hot jocks trying to pick you up?"

I laughed weakly as I tried my best not to think about Dylan. "Nope. I don't have time to date."

Of course it was a blatant lie, but I couldn't tell Emily that I had made it my own personal mission recently to find my imprint by dating half of Seattle.

"Try to fit some time in for love though, okay?" Emily responded.

"Give it a rest already, Em," I replied, closing my eyes tiredly. Jesus, first Jacob and now Emily.

"I just want you to find someone," Emily said quietly. "I know you like to pretend that it doesn't matter, but I know you, Lee. You've got a big heart that's just asking to be given to someone."

I picked up the undertones in her voice and got bitchy. "Emily, I already told you that you don't have to feel guilty. I understood about imprinting the second I had to share Sam's brain. So stop fucking worrying about me. Live your life and be happy."

Emily was so quiet I thought she hung up for a minute.

"I know," she finally whispered. "It's just a part of me can never be happy until you are. I just…I _need_ you to be happy."

"I know," I told her exhaustingly. "Listen, I have to get going."

"Okay," Emily replied quietly.

"I love you, Em," I reminded her.

"I love you, too, Lee."

We hung up and I continued walking. I had a lot to think over. My conversations with Jacob and Emily kept replaying in my head. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted what Emily had. Even though I knew I couldn't have kids, that didn't mean I couldn't adopt. And when I thought about having a family, there was only one guy I could picture sharing that experience with.

Jacob was right. I had been acting cowardly. If I imprinted someday, I'd have to face that when I came to it. Right now, all I wanted was Dylan. With that decision made, I headed over to his apartment. I had only been there a few times when I used to hang out with him, Miguel, and Whitney, but I knew where it was.

Wiping my hands on my shirt nervously, I entered the building and took the elevator to the fifth floor. Going to his apartment door, I knocked on it. To my surprise, the blonde I saw with Dylan earlier answered it.

"Can I help you?" the girl asked.

"Oh, I was just…I was looking for Dylan," I stumbled.

"Who is it, Tracy?" Dylan came around the corner and stopped when he saw me. "Leah!"

"Hi," I replied stupidly. I started praying to every ancient spirit in my tribal history. _Please let the floor open and swallow me up._

"This is Leah?" the blonde asked, her face turning cold.

"Yeah, Leah, this is my younger sister, Tracy. Trace, Leah." Dylan said. "Tracy just started school at Washington this semester. She's living in the dorms, but stops by here when she can."

"Oh," I remarked, feeling suddenly ecstatic. I turned to his sister. "It's nice to meet you."

She made a huffing noise in response. "I wish I could say the same."

"Tracy, that's enough," Dylan warned before saying to his sister, "Would you mind giving us a minute?"

"I thought we were going to get some McDonald's," Tracy whined.

"I don't want to interfere with your plans," I stated. "I should have called instead of just dropping by."

Dylan looked torn. He finally went over to his sister and said, "Just give us a minute, all right?"

"Fine," Tracy pouted before glaring at me. "If you hurt my brother again, I'll personally come after you."

With that threat lingering in the air, she stormed off and went into one of the bedrooms, slamming the room door behind her.

I shook my head. "That's the second time one of your family members has threatened my life."

"What?" Dylan looked at me in confusion.

"When I met your brother that night in the club, he said pretty much the same thing," I explained, not quite meeting his eyes. "Never mind though, I shouldn't have come over."

"Why did you?" Dylan asked softly.

"I-I guess I wanted to apologize to you. For blowing you off after our date and for the things I said to you when you came to my apartment."

"Okay," Dylan said slowly. "But why? What do you want from me, Leah?"

"I…" I started to say but stopped.

"You…what?" Dylan questioned.

"I want you," I whispered.

He made a scoffing noise before shaking his head and looking at the doorframe. "I can't…I can't keep playing these games. I've already gone through enough shit in my life. I don't need to be constantly mind-fucked by you. I'm sorry."

"Oh," I replied, my heart breaking as my eyes flooded with bitter tears. "I understand."

I turned and hurried down the hall towards the elevators. As soon as the doors dinged open, I flew inside. I almost screamed as Dylan came in immediately after me. I didn't even know he was following me. He hit the "R" button and the elevator began to ascend instead of descending.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to wipe away the tears that were free flowing down my face.

"To the roof," Dylan informed me, reaching over to wipe at one of my tears. "They seem to be the only place we can really communicate."

The doors opened and we walked outside. There were a few lounge chairs set up along with someone's grill. The area was thankfully empty. I went over to the rail and looked down. We were at least ten stories up. Everything seemed so peaceful and quiet up here, which was the exact opposite to how I was feeling. I turned and found Dylan inspecting my face closely.

"What made you decide to come see me today?" he asked. "It's been weeks since we last talked."

I sighed, feeling tired again. I went over and sat down on one of the loungers. Dylan sat on one opposite of me so that he could face me.

I couldn't meet his eyes. I looked out at the skyline as I admitted, "You were right…when we spoke last. You said you wanted to know who fucked me up so bad, and the truth is, I did have a really bad experience."

I met his gaze briefly before glancing away again. "I fell in love with this guy in high school. He meant the world to me. We dated from my freshman year to senior year. We even talked about getting married."

I paused. Dylan finally asked quietly, "What happened?"

"The night of my graduation party, my cousin came to stay with us. We were like sisters growing up. Sam took one look at Emily and fell completely head over heels for her."

"Wait," Dylan said in confusion. "So this guy dumped you for your cousin? Just like that?"

I tried to smile but it came out as a grimace. "It's more complicated than that."

"What'd your cousin do?"

"Well…" I said, getting up from my chair and going over to the rail. "She didn't want anything to do with him at first. I encouraged that. I badmouthed him to her every chance I got. I knew he had dumped me for her. It was pretty obvious that he was attracted to her. She was into him too; she just hid it well."

"So are you saying she ended up with him?" Dylan asked in disgust.

I hesitated. How did I explain this without going into detail about imprinting?

"Like I said, it's complicated," I finally replied. "You see, my father thought it would be a good idea for me to go away to California for a month. He wanted me to have a break from Sam. While I was away, Emily had agreed to meet with Sam. While they were out, Emily got attacked by an animal. She almost died and is still horribly scarred. Sam almost went out of his mind with grief and guilt. They ended up turning to each other and…"

"And?" Dylan inquired, coming over to stand next to me at the rail.

"And Emily told me today that she's pregnant with their second child."

"Wow," Dylan returned. He watched me carefully. "Are you mad?"

"No," I replied instantly. "It took me a long time to get over everything, but I realized that Sam and I weren't meant to be together. He's with the person he should be with."

I frowned before I turned to face Dylan fully. "Do you believe in soul mates?"

He reached out and brushed his thumb across my cheek. "Yeah, I do."

"Was Anna your soul mate?" I asked, nervous at having brought up the subject of his fiancée.

"A part of me thinks she was," Dylan admitted softly. "Anna meant the world to me. She was sweet and kind. She had this infectious giggle that always made me laugh when I heard it. I loved her with everything I had in me. I still haven't quite adjusted yet to being without her."

I started to turn away, but Dylan stopped me by grabbing my arm. "That doesn't mean I want to replace her. She'll always have a part of my heart. However, they say when you love someone that much, it's possible to find another great love that's just as pure as the first one."

"Do you think you'll find that someday?" I whispered.

He cupped both of my cheeks in his hands as he responded, "Oh yeah."

I finally gave in to my need for Dylan and collapsed against him. He wrapped his arms around me, cradling me close and kissing me on my head.

"Dylan, I'm so sorry for how poorly I've treated you," I told him, speaking into his shoulder. "You didn't deserve it."

"It's okay. I think I can understand why you'd have trust issues after what you went through," Dylan told me.

"It's not just trust issues. You deserve better than me," I told him, even as I snuggled in closer. I never wanted to let him go. I was afraid that if I did, I'd lose him forever.

"I think we deserve each other," Dylan countered and I finally made myself pull away.

"Dylan, you don't understand. I'm…I'm different. I'm not like other girls."

"What do you mean?" Dylan asked in confusion. My mind thought of my earlier conversation with Jacob. He told me to tell Dylan the truth. But as I stared at the tenderness in Dylan's expression, I knew I couldn't do it. Not yet anyway.

Still, some partial truth might soften the blow later on. "I have a genetic condition. It makes my skin hot and I can't have children."

"Oh…" he responded before shrugging. "There's always adoption."

And that was the moment I realized I was in love with Dylan Gordon. Maybe a part of me always had been since our Psychology class together. I leaned in close to him and brushed my lips against his.

"You're an amazing guy, Dylan," I told him softly.

"So…if I ask you to go out with me on Saturday, what would your answer be?" Dylan asked, giving me a quirky smile.

I bit my lip before responding, "My answer would be yes."

From that point on, Dylan and I officially became an item. Later that night, I called Emily and told her I'd be Gracie's godmother.

Over the course of the next few months, I came to realize that Dylan had an inner strength that was more powerful than any wolf I knew.

It was something I would come to rely on heavily as life began to test me over and over again.

_**A/N – Please review!**_


	14. Sue

**Chapter Prologue**

When I first started dating Dylan, our relationship had been like something out of a dream. He was warm, caring, funny, and a gentleman. LOL, I have to admit, at times I struggled with the gentleman bit. The first few months that we dated, he'd walk me to my door at the end of our evening and would give me nothing more than a chaste kiss before leaving.

After we'd been dating for five months, I was ready for a little more physical intimacy. I felt like the total guy in our relationship. I started doing everything I could think of to seduce him without looking like a complete slut. And he would put a stop to it every time.

Now granted, some girls might have been thrilled to have a guy being so respectful towards them. Not me. While I might have been retired from the pack, I was still a wolf. We are a horny lot. We find a potential mate and we want sex, whether they're our imprint or not. Case in point…Embry. He imprinted on someone who was married, and because he couldn't be with her, he slept with half of Washington.

But my problem wasn't just about an extreme case of horniness. After a while, I began to feel emotionally hurt. I felt like my heart was on the line, and it always got a little more bruised when Dylan would reject me. He had said on our first date he wanted to wait until we were in love. I already knew I was in love with him. So for him to constantly say no to me, I assumed that meant he didn't return my feelings.

There were times when I wanted to let my temper get the better of me and just dump his ass. If I was already putting myself out there, knowing that I could imprint at anytime, I found it unacceptable that _he_ was the one with the commitment issue. I thought about ending it before I got in too deep.

The problem was I fell so hard for Dylan that the idea of being without him made me miserable. So I put up with his rejection whenever I tried to push him for sex. In some ways, I became my own worst nightmare. I became Bella Swan…insipid and completely dependent on a guy emotionally. I hated that. I had no respect for her, and I began to resent myself. It took a trip to La Push for me to see Dylan's true colors.

And God did he shine…

**Chapter 14 – Sue**

I felt my knee bounce nervously as I sat in the passenger seat of Dylan's car. What the hell had I been thinking when I told Emily I'd be godmother to her daughter Gracie? I didn't want to go back to La Push. Yet here I was, bringing Dylan of all people with me. I wasn't ready for him to meet the pack. Gracie's baptism was a wolf event that everyone would attend. My stomach twisted painfully as I thought of Will Samson. I still felt sick over how I had treated him. I felt a hand on my knee and my body jerked. I looked over at Dylan in confusion.

"You need to take a deep breath and relax," he told me with a gentle smile. "You're a little uptight right now."

"Sorry," I replied. "I'm just a little nervous."

"Why?" Dylan wondered.

I shrugged and looked out the window. "I don't really want to do this."

"You could have told your cousin no. It would have been completely understandable."

Dylan still couldn't believe I had anything to do with Emily after what I told him about her relationship with Sam. There was still so much I needed to explain to him, especially about imprinting. I knew that was another reason I was so nervous. What if one of the wolves this weekend let something slip?

"My situation with Sam and Emily was complicated," I told him before adding slyly, "Besides, if Emily and Sam hadn't hooked up, I'd probably still be with him. Which means I would never have gone to college and met you."

I was hoping more than anything that he'd tell me he loved me. Instead, he reached over and picked up my hand, kissing it before letting me go. Trying not to show my disappointment, I looked back out the window. We had left Seattle early enough so that we would make it to La Push before dusk. I wanted to show Dylan around the area.

As we finally arrived on the reservation, I showed him a couple of spots where I used to hang out when I was younger. We stopped at Second Beach, but didn't get out of the car as it was raining. We watched the waves crashing angrily against the shore, the wind shaking our car slightly.

"I like it here," Dylan said after a moment. He gave me his smile that drove me insane. "It reminds me of you."

"How's that?" I asked, leaning my head against the headrest.

"It has a wildness to it," Dylan replied, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. He leaned close to me and kissed my jaw before whispering, "And it's unforgettably beautiful."

His lips trailed to my neck and began to lightly suck on the skin there. When I moaned, he leaned back and smiled, giving me a quick kiss before pulling away. Dammit, he was such a bloody tease.

"We should probably head over to your mom's," he remarked calmly.

"Yeah," I grumbled.

I directed him to my family house. As we pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, I heard several individuals come out of the _Clearwater Supply Store_, which was only about 100 feet from my home. I recognized all the guys immediately as they were wolves in Sam's pack. Azra, Mac, Rafe, Tristen, and Will had changed around the great Volturi visit a couple of years ago. I watched with slight amusement as all five guys sniffed the air and turned their heads in my direction simultaneously. Will's eyes widened as he looked from me to Dylan. I felt my heart break a little at the devastation that crossed his face. He turned in the opposite direction from where I stood and took off.

"Weird," Dylan whispered. I smiled sickly at him, but grabbed his hand and headed over towards the pack.

"Well, holy shit, if it isn't Leah Clearwater," Tristen said as we approached. He came over to me and picked me up, swinging me around briefly.

"Put me down, you tool," I joked.

"Yes, ma'am." Tristen complied, putting me down lightly on my feet.

Remembering my manners, I turned to Dylan. "Guys, this is my boyfriend, Dylan. Dylan, meet Azra, Rafe, Mac, and Tristen."

Dylan nodded to each guy as I introduced them before saying "hello." I watched with a smirk as each guy inspected Dylan suspiciously. I was proud when he didn't back down. Instead, he met their stare head on. Finally, Mac spoke up.

"Leah's like a sister to us. You mess with her, you mess with all of us, got it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Give me a break. Dylan's fine."

Instead of being intimidated, Dylan said, "Yeah, I've got you."

When no one said anything, just continued to glare at Dylan, I said impatiently, "I'm about done with the pissing contest here, boys. Knock it off or this conversation is over."

"Ah, come on, Leah," Tristen said. "We're just trying to look out for you."

"Please," I huffed. "I have never, nor will I ever, need you boys to look after me."

The boys looked put out for a minute before Rafe, ever the peacekeeper, asked me about school.

We talked briefly before I asked. "How's Ryan doing?"

Ryan was our youngest wolf. I knew he and his family had moved to Washington, D.C. the previous year. His dad was some kind of diplomat or something.

"He's good," Azra spoke up for the first time. "I just talked to him yesterday."

I nodded. "And how about Ethan? I thought he'd be with you guys."

Ethan was another wolf that had changed during the Volturi battle that never was.

"Nah, Ethan retired from our pa—uh—group shortly after you left town," Mac informed me. "He's in Chicago attending school."

I shook my head. I didn't realize that another wolf had retired. It made me briefly wonder what else had changed around here.

"Well Leah, we should let you go," Tristen said before snickering. "Pretty boy is turning blue in the lips."

I looked over and saw that Dylan was indeed shivering. Quickly wrapping my arm around his waist, I led the way inside my house as the guys laughed behind us.

"Sorry about them," I murmured as we walked inside. "They can be dicks sometimes."

"They're very p-protective of you," Dylan replied, his teeth chattering.

"Yeah," I agreed. "We're like a big family here."

Dylan tried to smile but it came out as a wince. I dragged him over to the couch and pushed him down on it. I grabbed my mom's quilt off the back of her chair and sat down next to Dylan, putting it over both of us so he'd warm up faster.

"You idiot," I said. "You should have told me that you were cold."

"Why weren't you a-affected?" Dylan questioned, snuggling into me.

"I'm, uh, used to the weather. I guess my body is conditioned to it," I fibbed, hoping he wouldn't press for more. He didn't. He was too busy burying his ice cold face into my neck.

"Do you have something in the water here that makes everyone so tall?" Dylan wondered after awhile.

I giggled as his chilly lips pressed against my ear. "Something like that."

"What was with the other guy?" Dylan asked as he pulled back slightly. "The guy who took off."

"Oh," I said with a frown. "That was Will."

"He gave you a weird look." Dylan remarked, not so subtly hinting for more detail.

Sighing, I leaned back and closed my eyes. "Do you remember me telling you that the last time I got drunk, I slept with a guy and ended up really hurting him?"

"Yeah."

I looked pointedly towards the front door. "That was the guy."

"Oh…" Dylan said thoughtfully. I eyed him carefully, worried that he might think I was a slut now. Instead, to my surprise, he snorted. "Well shit, if I felt intimidated before, that's nothing to how I feel now. I think I need to start working out more."

"Aww…" I giggled again, leaning closer so that I could brush his lips with mine. "You're perfect the way you are."

Dylan reached up to cup my cheek and bring me against him when the door flew open and an icy breeze hit us, jerking us apart.

"Leah!" My brother shouted as he came flying through the room. "Azra said you were back."

He picked me up in a bear hug, lifting me off my feet before he noticed Dylan there.

"Oh hey," he said, releasing me so that he could shake Dylan's hand. "I'm Seth."

"Hi," Dylan replied, eyeing him up and down as he shook Seth's hand. I knew Dylan was thinking of Miguel and the fact that he'd caught Seth in bed with Whitney. I held my breath as I waited for him to make a remark. Instead Dylan said, "Nice to finally meet you."

"Seth, for God's sake, did I raise you in a barn?" my mother asked as she came through the open doorway. I was about to rush over and say hello when Charlie Swan walked in right after her, his hand going straight to her waist as he brought her against him. What the fuck!

"Leah!" my mom said excitedly. "We weren't expecting you so soon. How was the drive?"

She came over to hug me. I did so briefly, then let go, taking several steps back. I glared at Charlie before looking at my mom.

"We left early so I could show Dylan around La Push," I explained stiffly.

"Have you seen Sam and Emily yet?" Seth asked, looking from our mom to me.

"No, not yet," I replied, feeling anger build inside as Charlie shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. How dare he waltz into my father's house with his hand on my father's wife!

"The new baby is something," Seth chuckled as he tried to relieve some tension. "Gracie's got a temper that outdoes even Sam's. She's going to be a handful."

My mom smiled weakly. "Yes, it'll be quite a change for Sam and Emily. Their son has been such a good baby."

"What the hell are you doing here, Charlie?" I asked, stopping all attempts at polite conversation.

"Leah!" my mother said in warning. She went over and grabbed Charlie's hand.

"So that's it?" I asked angrily. "You've already moved on like Dad's forgotten."

"It's been three years," my mother whispered shakily.

"And how long did you mourn?" I questioned bitterly. "Did you even wait for the dirt to settle on the grave?"

My mom went rigid. "Leah, that is enough."

"I don't want him in my father's house," I said, pointing at Charlie.

"Sue, I think I should let you settle this with your kids," Charlie said, looking awkward.

I scoffed. "Yeah, real worthy guy you have there, Mom. He can't even stand up for you."

Charlie's eyes narrowed, but before he could say anything, my mother was in my face.

"Don't you talk to him like that!"

"I don't give a shit," I countered. "Did you even wait until my father was dead before you invited _him_ into my dad's bed?"

My mom smacked me across the face and immediately pulled her hand to her chest with a whimper. I didn't even feel the impact. Charlie ran over and started examining her carefully, muttering something about when Bella once punched Jacob. Dylan jumped off the couch and raced to my side. My face flushed as I remembered that he was even there.

"You okay?" he questioned, inspecting my face for injury.

"Can we go?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded, grabbing my hand.

"Leah, please don't leave," my mom suddenly begged.

"I can't be in this house with him," I said, looking at Charlie. "You desecrate my father's memory by letting him set one foot in here."

"I love Charlie," my mom whispered. I went rigid and felt my eyes go wide.

"I never should have come back here," I told her bitterly. "Dylan, I want to go."

Dylan nodded and we left. He drove us back to Second Beach before he stopped the car, pulling me into his arms.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that," I told him, barely holding onto my emotions. "I just miss my dad so much, and she started dating Charlie a few months after he died."

"I understand," Dylan murmured. "It's hard to move on when you loved someone that much."

If I'd been paying closer attention, I would have noticed the haunted look that briefly entered Dylan's eyes. But I was too busy thinking about myself.

"I hate this fucking place," I stated. "Nothing good ever comes from here."

"That's not true," Dylan said tenderly. "You're from here."

He kissed my forehead gently. That gesture opened the floodgates and I began to cry.

"T-that's the t-thing," I stuttered between sobs. "I'm not good either. I'm going to h-hurt you someday whether I w-want to or not."

Dylan pulled away and stared at me intently. "Then I'll take the risk. You're worth it."

I choked back a cry and wrapped my arms around Dylan as tightly as I could without hurting him.

"Don't let me go," I begged, trying not to feel too panicky. I buried my nose against his neck and breathed in his familiar scent. I didn't ever want to lose this man.

"I won't," Dylan promised, kissing my head. After giving me a few minutes to collect myself, Dylan and I headed over to Sam and Emily's.

"So," Dylan said as we pulled into the driveway. "You want me to punch Sam in the face for you?"

I laughed and shook my head. As much as I appreciated the offer, I had a better chance at knocking Sam out than Dylan did. Emily opened the door as soon as we pulled up, as though she were expecting us.

Reading my expressions, Emily pulled me into a tight hug as soon as I reached her and whispered, "Your mom called."

"Ah," I replied, feeling tired. Emily pulled back and patted my cheek.

"If you don't mind sleeping in a house with two kids, you can crash here tonight," Emily said. "We have a spare bed."

I shook my head. The longer I had to stay in La Push the more likely I'd explode. "That's okay, Em. We'll get a hotel room."

"You'll come back tomorrow though, right? We have the baptism first thing in the morning. Plus, Jacob is coming over with Renesmee. She really wants to see you again."

I silently sighed. I just wanted to go back to Seattle. Instead, I said, "Sure, we'll come back."

"Good," Emily beamed before looking past my shoulder at Dylan. I saw her eyes widen slightly as she took him in.

I turned around and stared at him proudly. I knew what Emily was seeing…a fantastically gorgeous man who left all other guys behind in the looks department.

"Em, this is Dylan," I introduced them. "Dylan, this is my cousin, Emily."

"Nice to finally meet you," Emily said, pulling him in for a hug. I noticed Dylan put his cheek against Emily's scarred one without any signs of being uncomfortable. My heart melted a little at the gesture.

"It's nice to meet you too," Dylan replied. "Congratulations on the new baby."

"Thank you," Emily responded, practically bubbling over with happiness. She grabbed my hand. "Come on, you've got to meet your god-daughter."

We walked into the living room where Sam had his son, Nathaniel, in one arm, while rocking Gracie in the other. Nathaniel was cooing at his sister. Gracie looked like she was trying to decide if she wanted to cry or not. I felt myself smirk as I looked at Sam. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was sticking up in different places. He looked over, his face instantly relaxing as soon as he saw Emily.

"Oh thank God," he said, hurrying over to her side to hand her one of the kids. She grabbed Nathaniel, who yawned and put his head on his mother's shoulder. Gracie took that moment to spit something up all over Sam's shirt.

"Oh for fuc-" Sam paused as he saw me standing behind Emily. "Leah, hey."

I nodded. "Hey Sam. Looks like Gracie takes after you, huh?"

His eyes narrowed before he shrugged. "Well, hopefully she'll look like her mom when she's older. You want to hold her?"

He grabbed a burp cloth and wiped at Gracie's mouth. He walked over to me and placed her in my arms. I looked down and fell completely in love. Gracie was beautiful. Even though she tiny, I could see Emily in her features. She looked at me, assessing me, before she gave me a gumming smile.

"You did good, Em," I said, smiling at my cousin. I looked at Sam who was staring expectantly back. Feeling myself relax, I joked, "Didn't Emily do good?"

"Ha, ha," he replied, before looking behind me. "Who's this?"

I felt myself cringe as I realized I'd completely forgotten about Dylan's presence again. It was like I entered La Push territory and my brain ceased to exist.

"Sorry, Sam this is Dylan." I looked at Dylan and begged him silently to forgive me for my rudeness. "Dylan, meet Sam."

"Nice to meet you," Sam said, going over to shake Dylan's hand.

"Thanks," Dylan replied. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Nothing too bad, I hope," Sam said with a smile. Dylan just stared blankly back at him. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Dylan, come meet my god-daughter," I insisted, sitting down on the couch. Pulling his gaze from Sam's, he came over to me and sat down, wrapping his arm possessively around my waist.

"I'm going upstairs to change my shirt," Sam stated to everyone. "Be right back."

He went over to Emily who was still holding Nathaniel. I watched them all the while keeping an eye on Dylan. Sam and Emily's body language mirrored each other. If she turned a certain way, Sam followed. It was a little uncanny if you hadn't been around imprint couples before. I saw Dylan frown thoughtfully as he looked at them. Sam kissed his son's head, then brushed his lips against Emily's scarred cheek. He stared at her briefly as though completely hypnotized before leaving the room. Emily sat in an armchair and cuddled Nathaniel close, a contented expression on her face.

"I can't believe how big he's gotten," I said, looking at the little boy. He looked a lot like Sam, though I could see Emily in him too. He squirmed as he looked at me. Emily put him gently on his feet. After wobbling slightly, he walked unsteadily over to me collapsing against my legs with a proud smile.

"Hi," he murmured.

"Hello Nathaniel." I giggled at him. Damn, Em's kids were cute.

"Nathaniel, can you say hi to Leah?" Emily questioned.

His face scrunched up determinedly, "Hi Wee."

"Close enough," I laughed, running my hand tenderly down his cheek. Gracie, watching all this from the cradle of my arms, squawked angrily. I immediately brought her up to my face and kissed her on the forehead. "Don't worry, little one. I haven't forgotten about you."

I felt a hand brush a strand of my hair away from my face. I looked over at Dylan who stared at me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. Sam came back down, interrupting the moment. We stayed for another half hour, before leaving.

Checking into the hotel in Forks, I realized that tonight would be the first time Dylan and I spent the night together. Walking into the room with anticipation filling me, I looked around and felt my mood crash as I stared at the two double beds that were there.

"Which bed do you want?" Dylan questioned. Was he kidding me with this?

"Why don't we share?" I asked seductively. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed myself against him.

"Leah," Dylan chuckled. "We have a busy day tomorrow, not to mention a long drive. Do you want to use the bathroom first?"

He slowly pushed me away. Another goddamn rejection! I grabbed my overnight bag and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me firmly. As I got ready for bed, I began to stew. Was I grotesque? Was he just fucking with my mind and had no interest in me? Barely containing the anger erupting inside me, I yanked on my camisole PJ top and boxer shorts.

Throwing the door back, I marched over to him. "What the hell is your problem?"

"What?" Dylan asked in confusion.

"Why won't you sleep with me? We've been going out for months now."

"I told you before why," Dylan shifted away from me, going over to grab his bag. I got to it before he did and threw it on the floor.

"You said you wanted us to wait until we were in love," I reminded him scathingly. "Since that doesn't seem to be happening, does that mean we'll never get past the polite kissing phase? Don't you think that will get a little boring after awhile?"

His eyes flashed for a moment right before he grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall. I was so surprised to see even the slightest aggression from him, I didn't even fight as he pressed himself against me.

"Is this what you want?" Dylan asked with a tinge of bitterness. "Do you want meaningless sex? An easy lay?"

I felt my eyes begin to water. I whispered, "I want you to care for me."

The tension left him and he let me go, backing away.

"I do care, Leah," he murmured. "I care more than I can express."

"Is it so wrong for you to care about me?" I asked in confusion.

He ran his hand wearily over his face. "Leah, it's just that…I-I haven't slept with anyone since Anna."

"Oh…" I said stupidly. I finally realized that I wasn't the problem. The issue was that Dylan already had someone in his bed. His dead fiancée's ghost.

Feeling depressed, I gave him a sad smile. "I understand. I'm sorry I threw myself at you."

Crawling into one of the beds, I threw the covers over my head, and buried my head into the pillow. I heard Dylan go into the bathroom and quietly close the door behind him. I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling. I wanted to cry again. Dylan was still too in love with his Anna. Would he ever have room in his heart for me? Did he just need more time? What if he was never ready?

The bathroom door opened ten minutes later. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I heard him drop his bag onto one of the hotel tables. My eyes flew open when I felt his weight on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked. My eyes traveled over his body. He was in nothing but boxer shorts. Considering he wasn't a wolf, he had rock hard abs that could outdo half the pack.

"Scoot over," he ordered.

I moved to one side of the bed. Dylan pulled back the sheets and laid down next to me. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he pushed me until I was on my side. He pressed himself against my back, his arm going around my waist so that we were spooning.

"Have patience with me, Leah," he whispered in my ear, before nuzzling my neck with his lips. I nodded, placing my hand over his where it rested near my belly. I drifted off to sleep with Dylan's sandalwood scent surrounding me. It was one of the best night sleeps I had ever gotten.

The next day we attended Gracie's christening before heading over to Sam and Emily's. I was excited to see that Renesmee and Jake were there when we arrived, along with Quil, Embry, Seth, Paul and Rachel. Kim, Jared, and their twin daughters, Hanna and Hayley, also showed up. The twins were about the same age as Nathaniel. I watched in amusement as Hayley kept trailing after my brother.

I had one scare when Renesmee went up to Dylan and stuck her hand out to him. I was so sure she'd blow my cover and give him a crash course into the supernatural. With wide eyes, I watched as he shook her hand, but relaxed when he didn't act like something weird just happened.

"Don't worry," Jake whispered next to me. "I told Ness no powers today."

"Thank you," I mouthed back. He smiled and introduced himself to Dylan. Renesmee came over to me and hugged me tight.

"Leah, I've missed you," she said against my stomach. I shook my head as I stared at her. She wasn't even three, yet she looked closer to nine.

"I've missed you too, Lil' M," I told her, kissing her head.

I felt a tug on my pants and looked down. Nathaniel was next to me. He lifted up his arms and said, "Up."

I bent down to pick him up, but he shook his head and looked at Renesmee. She giggled and lifted him into her arms.

He patted her cheek and said, "Pwetty."

"Yes, she is," I agreed, smiling at Jacob as he joined us. I elbowed him in the side good naturedly before saying quietly, "Looks like you have competition."

"Great," Jake joked. "I'll tell Bella that Nessie has another admirer. That should make her happy."

I felt my mood turn sour as I thought about Bella. Thinking of her reminded me of Charlie Swan.

"Leah, can you help me in the kitchen for a minute?" Emily asked.

"Sure," I replied, looking over at Dylan. He was fitting right in, discussing the Seattle Mariners with Quil and Embry. Sam joined them, holding Gracie while keeping a close eye on Nathaniel who was still with Ness. Rolling my eyes at his overprotective behavior, I followed Emily into the kitchen.

"What's up, Em?" I asked as I looked around. All the food was set out already. I wasn't sure what she needed me for.

Emily laughed. "I just wanted to talk to you one on one."

"About?"

"About Dylan," she replied. "I wanted to tell you how happy I am for you. He seems like such a sweet guy. And damn, Leah, he's hot."

Before I could reply, Sam entered the kitchen looking disgruntled. "Em, how much longer till lunch?"

"It's almost ready, now shoo."

He came over and kissed her almost possessively before leaving the room.

Emily shook her head. "Stupid jealous wolf. God forbid I mention that another guy is nice looking without that big gorilla coming in and reminding me who I'm married to."

I heard Sam cough in the other room followed by the snickers of some of the other wolves. I smiled at the annoyed look on her face. I was happy to realize that I wasn't jealous or envious of Emily and Sam at all.

"You're happy though, right?" Emily questioned. "He makes you happy?"

"Yes, I'm very happy with Dylan," I told her, but I felt my eyes suddenly fill with tears.

Emily hurried out of the room. I could hear her whisper to Sam that we were going for a walk and that the pack could eat in a few minutes. Coming back into the room with her coat on, Emily grabbed my arm and led me out the front door.

Once we were a safe distance from prying wolf ears, Emily asked, "Okay, lay it on me."

"Em, he's in love with someone else," I whispered.

"Pfft," Emily replied, shaking her head. "No seriously, what's the problem?"

I stopped walking and stared at her with wide, knowing eyes. Emily frowned back at me.

"I don't believe it," Emily said dismissively. "Anyone can see the guy is crazy about you."

"Em, you don't understand," I told her with a sigh. "A couple of years ago, Dylan was engaged to be married. From everything my roommate told me, the girl was practically a saint. She was on her way home to tell her parents of the engagement when she was killed in an accident. Dylan hasn't gotten over her yet."

"I see," Emily replied. "Poor Dylan. But Leah, I can tell you one thing. Whether the guy knows it or not, he's in love with you."

I shook my head in disbelief. "How can you be so sure?"

Emily didn't look at me as she said, "Being so completely in love myself, I recognize couples with the same symptoms. I can see it as clear as day that you love Dylan and vice versa."

I gave her a doubting look and she said, "You don't believe me? Ask Edward Cullen next time you see him. He'll be able to tell you what Dylan is thinking."

I laughed at that. "It's not like I'll be hanging out with the Cullens anytime soon."

Emily bit her lip. "Right, I guess not. We should be getting back."

I frowned at my cousin's sudden switch in behavior. As we approached the house, I saw my mother's car. I let out an impatient breath. I didn't want to see her right now.

I walked into the house and found her in the kitchen with Seth and Dylan. The food that Emily had set out so carefully was already gone. I could hear the crowd in the living room getting rowdy as the game they had started watching intensified. Emily came over to me and gave my arm a squeeze before she went into the other room as well.

"Leah," my mom said. "I wanted to talk to you and your brother."

"I'll leave you alone," Dylan offered, walking over to me and lightly kissing my lips. He took a couple of steps away from me, but I grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Don't go," I pleaded. He nodded and I turned to face my mom. "What did you want to say?"

"I…" She looked nervously from me to Seth. "I wanted to let you know that Charlie and I talked last week and we've decided to get married."

"Wow, that's uh…that's great, Mom," Seth said unsurely.

"Thank you, Seth," she replied, giving him a hug.

"So where is Charlie?" Seth asked.

"He was called into work," our mother explained before looking at me. "Leah?"

I turned to Dylan. "Can you go wait in the car? I'll be out in a second."

Dylan inspected my face carefully before he nodded. "Sure."

Jake appeared almost out of thin air with Dylan's coat. He looked over at me in concern, but I had to look away. If I was very careful, I might get through this day without phasing.

I looked at my mother in disdain. "I don't even know you anymore."

"Leah, I'm trying to move on with my life. You can't expect me to stop living-"

"I hope you're not expecting me to attend this atrocity of a wedding," I interrupted her.

"Leah, come on," Seth muttered.

"How long did you even pretend to mourn?" I snapped, feeling my rage increase. "Charlie was all over you before the body had even cooled. He disgusts me and so do you. Don't ever speak to me again like we're family."

And because I knew I was about to lose it, I ran outside. The cold La Push air hit my face, calming me enough where I knew I wasn't in danger of phasing. I got inside Dylan's car and we took off. I made it to the La Push borderline before I burst into tears. Dylan immediately pulled the car over.

He gathered me into his arms and whispered that everything was going to be okay. And just hearing his assuring tone, I found myself believing that it would be.

**A/N - Please Review!**


	15. Charlie

**Chapter Prologue**

The months after my mother announced her engagement to Charlie were a stressful time for me. Dylan was my strength. He didn't judge me or make me feel like shit for my estrangement with my mom. He was my rock…that's something that's never changed over the years.

My mom tried calling me several times after our fight. I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Seth even showed up in Seattle a couple times and chewed me out. I still wouldn't budge.

It took me awhile to realize that I wasn't really mad at my mom or Charlie. I mean, don't get me wrong. I was extremely annoyed by the fact that Charlie put the moves on my mom before the dirt even settled on my dad's grave.

But my anger was more directed at myself. You see, I never got over the guilt I felt over my father's death. I wasn't able to let my mom move on, because I hadn't moved on. I couldn't shake the feeling that if it weren't for me, my dad wouldn't have suffered his heart attack. He and my mom could have spent the best years of their lives together if I hadn't phased in front of him that day.

So how could I let my mother be happy? How could I let her forget all about my father, when I was the reason he wasn't with her to begin with.

Seth had shown up at my apartment the weekend before our mother's wedding, begging me to attend. Yet, he wasn't able to change my mind.

Nope, it was Dylan that finally made me see the light. Dylan who pointed out something that I had been too blinded by guilt to see…

**Chapter 15 – Charlie**

"Come on, Leah, you've got to come," Jacob begged.

I sighed as I held the phone to my ear. Ness's third birthday was next week, but the family was going to celebrate it this weekend…which just happened to be when my mom was marrying Charlie Swan.

"I can't, Jake, I'm sorry," I told him as I snuggled closer to Dylan on my apartment couch.

"You missed last year's birthday," Jake whined. "It'd mean a lot to Nessie if you came."

I glared off into space. How dare he use the kid card! I almost gave in and agreed to come this weekend…then I remembered my mom was about to marry Renesmee's grandfather, and I felt my heart harden.

"I'm sorry, Jacob, but I'm not coming to Forks this weekend."

"You're such a pain in the ass, do you know that?" he grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied. "Listen I have to go. Give Ness my love."

"Fine," Jake said boorishly before disconnecting the call. I stared at my phone blankly.

"You okay?" Dylan asked.

"Yeah…" I shifted closer to him, a frown forming on my face. "Jake wanted me to go to Forks this weekend for Renesmee's birthday. Her family is having a party for her the day after the wedding."

"He's really close to her, huh?"

I smiled at him. "He's looked after her all her life."

"So why don't you go back and see them?"

"You know why," I replied, standing up and going into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water, taking a gulp of the refreshing liquid. Dylan followed me.

"Leah, I-"

A knock on the apartment door distracted me. Going over and opening it, I was surprised to see my brother on the other side. He came to see me a couple of months ago, wanting me to reconcile with our mother, but Seth and I had gotten into a big fight instead. Our relationship had been strained ever since.

"Seth, hey. What are you doing here?"

"I came to beg you to come to mom's wedding this weekend," Seth stated matter-of-factually.

"You already know how I feel about this," I replied coldly.

"God, Leah. Would you stop being such a bitch?" Seth said in an angry tone. I was actually a little taken aback by how infuriated Seth was. He was always so happy. It took a lot to piss him off.

He continued, "I've tried to make excuses for you, because I know what's really bothering you-"

"There's nothing bothering me except the fact that Mom has completely forgotten about Dad," I interrupted.

"Bullshit," Seth snapped. "You honestly think that she doesn't love him anymore? You don't have a friggin clue because you never come to La Push anymore. Do you know that she still goes to Dad's grave every week to put flowers on it?"

I didn't say anything, but I had the feeling that I might have lost some color in my cheeks.

"She's suffered so much since Dad died. Do you think it was easy on her having to deal with his death and our "condition" all at once? She single-handedly held our family together. And you know what? I'm glad she and Charlie found each other. She deserves some happiness after everything that she went through."

"Seth, you don't know what you're talking about," I whispered.

"Yeah, I do," Seth said quietly back. I heard Dylan come out of the kitchen behind me.

"Hey Seth," Dylan said. I turned around and saw him staring at me with concern.

"Uh, I'm going to use the bathroom," he told us. He went down the hall and I heard a door close, leaving Seth and I in privacy again.

"You know what makes your behavior towards Mom so intolerable?" Seth stated. "You're punishing her because you feel guilty. Leah, you've got to stop blaming yourself for Dad's death. You have to move on from that."

"That's easy for you to say," I replied brokenly. "If I hadn't lost my temper-"

"He would have probably died anyway," Seth returned in frustration. "Dad was sick, don't you remember? No amount of blaming yourself is going to bring him back."

"That's not what I've been doing," I murmured.

"Yes, it is," Seth replied. "Leah, I love you, and I only have your interests at heart. If you don't show up for that wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Don't alienate the only parent you have left."

He turned and left without another word. Wow. When did Seth grow up? Feeling a mixture of being half impressed and half depressed, I closed the apartment door.

"Dylan, you can come out now," I called out.

He came back into the room and hugged me. "You okay?"

I shook my head and buried my face into his neck. I didn't want to talk anymore. I was all talked out. First Jacob, then Seth. I pressed my lips to Dylan's skin.

"Stay with me tonight," I begged. Whitney had a new boyfriend and wouldn't be home until the next morning.

Dylan tenderly pushed a strand of hair away from my face. "Leah, that's not such a good idea."

Suddenly, I was angry. I was angry at his rejection. I was angry at myself for turning into such a needy, pathetic fuck. I was angry at the world in general and how unfair life was. I lashed out before I could stop myself, punching Dylan hard on the chest. I heard the breath leave his body and I froze in fear.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my eyes quickly scanning the area I hit. "Did I hurt you?"

I could see a bruise already forming on his skin. I had never been so thankful about being a retired wolf. I wasn't as strong as I once was, otherwise I might have broken something.

Dylan winced as he rubbed his chest. "Damn, you pack a punch."

"No wonder you can't love me. I'm a freak," I screeched, completely disgusted with myself. I turned and walked away from him, too upset to look at him anymore.

"You think I don't love you?" Dylan asked.

I refused to look at him. I felt his hands on my shoulders and all of a sudden I was swung around so that I was facing him. He put his hand under my chin and raised my face up so that I was looking at him.

"You think I don't love you," he repeated, this time more as a statement.

"You don't," I replied simply. "We've been dating for a year now. You once told me that we'd sleep together when you knew you loved me."

"Are you serious?" Dylan questioned. He let me go and walked away from me. I knew by how stiff his back was that he was pissed.

"Well fuck, Leah," he snapped in a tone that made me jerk. He turned around and began to unbutton his shirt.

"What are you doing?" I asked, instantly wary. While normally the sight of Dylan's naked chest would appeal to me, I didn't like the undertones I felt in the air.

"Apparently, I'm showing my feelings for you," he answered bitterly. "I wanted our first time to be something extraordinary, but I guess all you want is some cheap sex. So let's get this over with."

He whipped his shirt off and threw it on the floor before reaching for the buckle on his pants, when I cried out, "Stop it, Dylan."

"I thought this is what you wanted," Dylan returned.

"I want you to love me," I admitted dejectedly. Before I knew it, I was in his arms.

"I do," he replied softly. My heart began to pump overtime. Did I just hear him correctly?

"What did you say?" I needed to hear it again.

"I do love you," Dylan said more firmly. "I have for a long time…maybe since the first moment I saw you at that fraternity party. I just can't…"

"Can't what?" I wondered, feeling myself freeze as I waited for his answer.

"I can't sleep with you."

"Oh…" I said, pulling away from him. I sat down on the couch in defeat. What little feminine pride I had left quickly evaporated into thin air. "So I don't…turn you o-on?"

Dylan quickly walked over to me and sat down beside me. He grabbed my hand and kissed the center of my palm.

"Yes, you do," he replied. "I just…I feel guilty. I want you, Leah. I want you so much that I literally ache for you most of the time."

"Then why do you fight it?" I responded.

Dylan let go of my hand so that he could clasp his together in front of him. His forehead furrowed into a frown.

"Why should I get to move on with my life when Anna never will?" Dylan finally said. "The last time I made love to anyone was the morning Anna was killed. We'd spent the night celebrating our engagement. Then she got out of bed, kissed me goodbye, and I never saw her alive again."

"Dylan…" I said as delicately as I could. "What happened to Anna was tragic. If I could spare you the pain you obviously still feel, I would. But you can't stop living. I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted that for you."

"And yet, you expect your mother to do the same thing," Dylan replied, examining me closely. I sat straight up as shock went through my system.

"It's not the same thing," I tried to defend.

"It's _exactly_ the same thing," Dylan countered. "You're in the exact position as Charlie. You expect your mother to stop living, but you want me to move on with my life. I guess I don't understand that."

My stomach felt queasy as realization hit me. He was right…he was absolutely 100% right. I asked in a shaky voice, "Why didn't you ever bring this up before?"

"I honestly thought you'd see the similarities in our situation months ago. I didn't want to lecture you though when I could see you were hurting—"

"And I still don't need a lecture," I told him coolly. I got up from the couch and went over to where his shirt lay on the floor. I threw it at him without looking in his direction. "You need to leave now."

"Leah…" Dylan replied, quickly coming over to me. I kept my body angled away from him.

"Just go," I ordered. I could feel his eyes on me, but I wouldn't look at him.

"I'll call you later," Dylan said softly. I shrugged indifferently and I heard him sigh.

"I do love you, Leah," he told me, causing my heart to explode with joy while simultaneously ache with pain. I'd wanted him to tell me that for months. Now, it somehow felt tainted, as though I'd forced him to say it.

Leaning down to kiss me on the forehead, Dylan turned and left. As soon as he went through the door, I locked it behind him, before sliding down its surface so that I could crumple up on the floor. I pulled my legs to my chest and began to cry in earnest.

Dylan was right. I _was_ the Charlie in our situation. How could I be so stupidly blind?

"Dad," I sobbed aloud. "I'm so confused. Please help me, Dad."

I made my way over to the couch and cried until I fell into a deep sleep. If I was hoping for some prophetic dream while I slept…perhaps something where my father visited me, telling me that everything would be okay…it didn't happen. Instead, I woke up to a darkened room. My eyes were gritty from crying and my head hurt.

Getting up, I went into my bedroom and glanced at the alarm clock. It was just after 11 PM. I went into the bathroom, washed my face, and changed into my pajamas. Going back into the living room, I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse and pressed speed dial.

Dylan answered on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Will you come with me to Forks this weekend? Apparently, I have a wedding I need to attend."

"I'd love to." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank you, Dylan," I said softly.

"You're welcome," he replied. "Good night, Leah."

"Night," I responded before hanging up.

The next morning I went out to get a birthday present for Renesmee. She was a hard one to shop for considering she pretty much had everything. I knew by her latest email that she was physically around ten now. She wasn't interested in dolls or things other kids her age would like. However, I didn't think Jake would appreciate me getting her a bunch of makeup either. I finally decided to get her a silver picture frame. She was always sending me pictures of her family. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her I had no interest in seeing her bloodsucker relatives, though some of the pictures she got of Emmett were pretty hilarious. She had recently sent me a cute one of her and Jake that I could put in the frame.

Heading back to my apartment, I went through my wardrobe next. I really didn't have anything to wear to the wedding. I pulled out a skirt and a nice top and was carefully examining it when Whitney walked into my room.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked.

"I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to wear to my mother's wedding," I told her. "How was your date with Brandon?"

"Fabulous. He took me to a play and then we went back to his condo where we spent part of the night in his hot tub. It was amazing," Whitney replied, looking dreamy-eyed.

After the disaster of Miguel, I didn't think Whitney would be able to move on. That was until Brandon Kramer walked into her life. He was the son of a local entrepreneur and was possibly even richer than she was. They met at some charity event and seemed to be a match made in heaven.

"I thought you weren't going to go to the wedding," Whitney said.

"I wasn't going to. Then Dylan reminded me that if I expected him to move on after Anna, it was a little hypocritical of me to not expect my mom to do the same thing. Of course, he said it much nicer than that."

Whitney examined me closely before coming over and giving me a hug. "Well, if you think I'm going to let you go to a wedding in those clothes, you're out of your mind. We're going shopping."

I internally groaned. Whitney's shopping expeditions were legendary.

"I can't go," I told her. "I have class in an hour."

"Skip it," Whitney instructed. "Come on, Leah. This is going to be tough on you as it is. You've been very…err…vocal on your feelings about this wedding the past few months. Why not go in there looking like a million bucks?"

I looked back down at my clothes and debated with myself. Seeing my struggle, Whitney threw in the one thing she knew I couldn't resist.

"Besides, think how Dylan will react. You might actually get laid."

After my fight with Dylan the night before, I wasn't really pushing to have sex with him anymore. But perhaps I could get him to tell me he loved me again, only this time maybe he could look like he meant it. Debate over, I turned to Whitney.

"Well, are we going shopping or what?' I asked and cringed as Whitney shrieked before grabbing my hand and leading me out of the apartment.

The next morning, Dylan came to pick me up. Things felt a little awkward between us, and I knew it was my fault.

"I'm sorry about the other day," I told him as we got in the car and started down the road.

"I'm sorry, too," Dylan said. "I shouldn't have been so crude with you."

I laughed sadly. "You weren't, Dylan. I shouldn't have thrown myself at you like I did. I was just feeling so low about everything, but you were right. I'm in the exact same scenario as my mother, but I didn't even see it. I was so angry and guilty about everything, I didn't even see the similarities. How stupid does that make me?"

"Not stupid," Dylan instantly defended. "I don't get something though. Why do you feel guilty?"

I drew my legs up on the passenger seat and wrapped my arms around them. "Something happened on the day my dad died. I lost my temper and…well, let's just say the stress was too much for my father. He ended up having a heart attack which turned out to be fatal."

"Was he healthy before then?" Dylan asked in a sympathetic tone.

"No, not really."

"Wait a second," Dylan said. He pulled the car over on the side of the road and turned to look at me. "So all this time, you've been blaming yourself for something that happened naturally? I mean, you didn't stab or shoot your father, right?"

"No, but it's more complicated than that."

Dylan shook his head. "That's something I don't understand about you, Leah. You present this hard exterior to people who don't know you. But inside, you're such a vulnerable mess."

"Thanks a lot," I said, instantly hurt. "Why do you even bother with me then?"

"I should also mention you're defensive as hell," Dylan said with a chuckle. He reached over and cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. "I bother with you because you're sweet, funny, caring, and you've got an amazing spirit. I know you make sure to email that kid, Renesmee, every week, and you defend your friends, like Whitney…even when they fuck up, because you're loyal to those you care about. From the things you've told me, I know that you've been handed a lot of shit in your life, yet you're still here. You don't accept defeat. So yes, you're a mess. But it's just part of the amazing package I get with you."

I felt myself begin to glow with contentment. I wanted to throw myself into his arms. Instead, I said, "I didn't know I was dating such a sap."

Dylan grinned at me. "What can I say? You bring out the cheesy in me."

I hesitated before saying nervously, "I guess it's a good thing that I love you."

I heard him suck in a breath before he unbuckled his seatbelt and mine. He quickly pulled me to him.

"Took you long enough," he muttered before his lips crashed down against mine. My arms went around his back, pulling him to me. A honking horn broke us apart several seconds later. I looked out the window and saw a car driving away from us filled with teenagers. They were looking back at us, making obscene gestures, and cat-calling out the window. Dylan and I glanced at each other and started laughing. I felt like a kid who'd just gotten busted by my parents.

"I guess we should get going, or we'll missing the wedding entirely," I said, so happy in that moment the idea of my mom's marriage didn't even hurt much.

"Oh, I'll get you there," Dylan promised. We were soon back on the road, driving as fast as was safely possible.

"I forgot to tell you," I said. "The wedding is going to take place at the Cullen house. That family is a little, uh, different."

"What do you mean?"

"They're just different…you'll see what I mean when we get there. Just try not to stare too much."

"Sure," Dylan said, giving me a funny look.

We finally arrived at the motel in Forks. Dylan took a quick shower first. Once he was through, I grabbed my dress and necessities and went into the bathroom. After taking my own shower, I spent some time doing my hair. It was now past my shoulders. I used a curling iron on it so that it hung in waves and curls around my face. Using a jeweled clip, I pinned one side back. Next I put on charcoal colored eyeshadow and black eyeliner, giving the liner a smudged look on the bottom lids. I also added a light blush and berry-colored lipstick. Eyeing myself carefully, I had to admit…I was pretty pleased with how I looked. It was nice to remember that I could be feminine.

I turned my attention to the underwear I'd let Whitney talk me into buying. I chewed on my inner cheek as I debated between wearing the sensible undergarments that I normally wore and the Victoria's Secret items that I'd purchased yesterday. I stared at the black corset bustier that was lying on the bathroom counter. It was made of a spandex/polyester material and had front closures. It also had a matching black thong and garter belt. A knock on the door made me practically jump out of my skin.

"Leah, you almost ready?" Dylan asked.

"Be right out," I replied nervously.

Looking at it again, I whispered a quiet "fuck it" and pulled on the new underwear. Once everything was in place, I pulled on my dress. It was a black corset style dress with a lace front. It hugged my body all the way to my knees and was held up by two thin straps. I matched it with a pair of black strappy stiletto heels. I looked at my reflection, eyeing myself carefully.

"Not bad, Clearwater," I murmured in satisfaction. The real test though was facing Dylan. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the room.

"Hey Leah, do you want me to…" Dylan started to say and then paused as he looked up and saw me. My confidence shot through the roof when I heard him mutter, "Wow."

"Do I look okay?" I asked, completely fishing for a compliment.

"You look…wow," was all he got out, causing me to giggle.

I walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Thank you. You look really wow yourself."

Dylan was wearing a dark gray suit with a blue shirt underneath and a stripped blue and gray tie to match. The ensemble made his blue eyes really stand out. He looked incredible…I just hoped he make it through a wolf pack/Cullen event unscathed.

"You ready to go?" Dylan questioned.

"Yep," I replied. Grabbing his hand, we headed out to his car. I grew more nervous as we made our way towards the Cullen property.

"Relax, Leah," Dylan said, reaching over to squeeze my hand where it was rested on my lap. "Your mother is going to be ecstatic to see you."

"I hope so," I murmured.

The driveway was lit up so that it was easy to find. It was obvious that Alice Cullen was involved in this. The wedding and reception were taking place at night so that Bella and the rest of the bloodsuckers could attend. My nose instantly started burning as soon as we pulled onto the property.

"Well, I guess we should get this over with," I whispered. It didn't matter how quietly I spoke. Seconds later, the door flew open and a little body came flying towards us. I got out of the car and caught Renesmee just as she reached me.

"Leah, you're here!" she shouted excitedly.

"I didn't want to miss your birthday," I told her. She stood up on her tiptoes and touched my face. Images of me getting out of the car accompanied with the feeling of sheer joy filled my mind. I smiled down at her. "I'm glad to be here, too."

I turned back to Dylan. "Dylan, do you remember, Renesmee?" And then instantly cursed as he looked at her with wide eyes.

"I thought I did," Dylan said, walking over to her. "You've, uh, grown since I last saw you."

"Genetic condition," Jake explained as he walked over to us and wrapped his arm protectively around Ness's shoulder.

"That seems to happen a lot around here," Dylan said, first eyeing me then Ness. I felt my face burn slightly. I still had so much to explain to him.

"Yeah, it does," Jacob said casually before turning to me. "Your mom is inside the house with Seth. I'm sure she'd love to see you."

I nodded and looked at Dylan. Jake spoke again, "Quil and Embry are in the back. I'm sure they'd love to catch up with Dylan. They haven't seen either of you since the last time you were here."

I looked at Dylan and he nodded. I went over and gave him a quick kiss before turning to Jake and giving him a brief hug.

"It's good to see you again, Jacob," I said loud enough for Dylan to hear. In a lower voice, I added, "Please just keep him away from Emmett."

Jake snorted and nodded. I made my way into the house. Alice Cullen greeted me.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down," she said, her pixie curls bouncing as she spoke.

"You can see me now?" I wondered.

"No, I still can't see any wolves, even the retired ones, but I just knew you wouldn't let your mother down. She's upstairs, by the way."

"Thanks," I murmured, trying to walk away as quickly as possible. I ran into Bella on the stairs. I had to fight the urge not to growl. Even though Jake had found happiness when he imprinted on Ness, I still couldn't forgive Bella Swan-Cullen for the way she had treated my Alpha.

"Hello Leah," she said somewhat nervously.

"Leech," I nodded, before walking stiffly past her. I couldn't believe that she was going to be in my family. I really wanted to know what I'd done wrong in my former life to get Bella as a step-sister. Following the sounds of my mother and brother's voices, I made my way into a bedroom down the hall. Entering the room, I found her with Esme and Seth.

"Leah, it's wonderful to see you again," Esme said, walking over to me. She looked like she was about to hug me, but stopped short of doing so.

"Hello Esme," I replied, before looking at my mom.

"Uh…Esme, why don't I walk you downstairs?" Seth stated, coming over to me to give me a big hug. Whispering in my ear, he said, "Thanks Leah."

I nodded. He held out his arm for Esme who took it gracefully. They left the room, shutting the door behind them. I walked slowly over to my mom.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I was a bitch and-"

"Oh Leah," my mother interrupted me by hugging me tight. Finally releasing me, she said, "What made you change your mind?"

"Dylan," I explained. "I miss Dad, and a part of me is always going to wonder if he'd still be here if I hadn't phased in front of him that day…"

My mom went to interrupt me again, but I shook my head. "The point is though, that I can't expect Dylan to move on with his life while wanting you to mourn Dad forever. Besides, Dad always wanted to make you so happy. If C-Charlie does that for you, then I'm glad."

My mother reached up and cupped my cheeks in her hands. She smiled, seeming satisfied with whatever she saw on my face.

"I think this boy is good for you," she said.

"I think so, too," I admitted, before finally looking at what my mom was wearing.

She was wearing a one-shoulder suede, charmeuse dress that draped elegantly across the chest and flowed in shimmering folds down to her ankles. The creamy gold color of it brought out the honey tones in her skin. Her dark hair was pulled back into an elegant twist which was emphasized by a gold and black hair clip.

"Mom, you look gorgeous," I told her, completely awestruck. I could only hope I looked half as good as she did when I reached her age.

"So do you, baby," she replied before giving me a pleased look. "You look so happy."

"I am," I told her with a smile. There was a knock on the door and Alice popped her head in.

"Sue, it's time," she said.

My mom nodded before turning to look at me. "You'll be my maid of honor, right? We wanted to keep things small and weren't planning on having anyone stand up with us, but it'd mean a lot to me if you would."

"Oh…" I said, looking down at my dress. "I'm not really-"

"You look perfect," my mother insisted. "Please, Leah."

"Okay," I finally said.

Ten minutes later, I found myself walking down the aisle ahead of my mother. My eyes instantly searched the crowd for Dylan. I saw Sam and Emily and most of Sam's pack. I also saw Quil and Embry who both grinned widely at me. And then I found Dylan.

I found him sitting up front next to Billy Black who was looking…depressed. I'd bet all the money I had that Billy was secretly wishing he was in Charlie's place. Dylan flashed me his special smile which almost caused me to trip. Once I made it up front, I looked over at Charlie who gave me a weak half smile, before he pulled at the neck of his suit. That made me smirk. Charlie was never one who wanted attention. He was immediately distracted as the Wedding March began to play. I turned to watch my mom beam as she walked up the aisle on Seth's arm.

The wedding soon got underway and they were eventually pronounced husband and wife. They walked down the aisle, laughing as they went. I followed behind them. Charlie hadn't asked anyone to be in the wedding, which was another sign to me that he and Billy had had a rift.

The reception soon got underway. I was sitting with Dylan, Seth, Embry, Quil, Jake, and Renesmee. We ate and joked around. It felt like old times. Dylan kept touching my hand, or he'd rest his arm on my chair. Every time he did so, my heart would accelerate embarrassingly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake whisper something to Renesmee. She shook her head, but he nodded and then looked pointedly at me. Giggling, she covered her mouth with her hand. I felt my eyes narrow as I turned my attention on them.

"What?" I asked. Jake nudged Ness in the side.

"Can I call you Aunt Leah?" Renesmee questioned. I felt my eyes go wide. Dylan didn't know that Ness was Edward and Bella's child. He thought she was Edward's sister. I saw him look at me in confusion, which caused me to glare at Jacob.

"You can call me that if Jake does," I said, reminding him not so subtly that there was more than one person at this table who didn't know all of our secrets. Case in point, Renesmee didn't know about the imprint. She had no idea that she'd most likely grow up, fall in love with Jake, and eventually marry him…hence making him Bella's future son-in-law some day and my future step-nephew.

"What does Leah mean?" Ness asked, looking to Jacob for answers.

Jake gave me a deadly look before turning his attention back to his imprint. "Leah's just confused. You want to dance?"

"Yes," Renesmee nodded enthusiastically. Jake got up from his chair with a wince. It always caused a wolf pain when they weren't completely honest with their imprints. I almost felt sorry for the guy…almost. He took Ness out on the dance floor and began to twirl her in circles, which caused her to giggle in delight.

"You want to dance?" Dylan asked me.

"Yeah," I replied, grabbing his hand. We spent the next couple of hours, dancing in each other's arms, completely oblivious to the rest of the world.

"All right, Leah," my mother said, coming over to us with Charlie. "You've been hogging this handsome young man all night."

Dylan grinned at her as he let me go. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Swan?"

"I'd love to," my mom replied. They left Charlie and me staring at each other awkwardly.

"What do you say, Leah?" Charlie finally asked, holding out his hand to me. I hesitantly took it, allowing myself to be pulled into his loose embrace. I rested my other hand on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you came today," Charlie remarked gruffly as we began to dance. "It means a lot to your mother."

I nodded before saying, "Charlie, I'm glad you make my mother happy. I really mean that. And I'm sorry for my behavior before."

"Thank you for saying that."

I glared at him then. "That said…if you hurt my mother in any way, I'll phase and rip your balls off. You got me?"

Charlie winced, probably more from me using the word "phase" than the actual threat to his manhood. Still, he nodded in agreement. Around midnight, the party started to wind down. Sue and Charlie were staying in the area until tomorrow evening. They were planning on leaving for their honeymoon after Renesmee's birthday party. Dylan and I made our way over to Edward, Bella, and Jake who was holding an exhausted Renesmee.

"We're going to head back to the motel," I told them. Jacob nodded. He was still angry with me for my almost slip from earlier.

"You're coming to my party tomorrow, right, Leah?" Ness asked, raising her head up from Jacob's shoulder where it had been resting. I went over and kissed her head.

"I wouldn't miss it, Lil' M," I whispered which made her giggle and Jacob growl quietly. Rolling my eyes at him, I turned back to Dylan.

"You ready?"

"Yeah." He said his goodbyes to Jacob and the Cullens and we left. We were on the road before I noticed how uptight Dylan seemed to be.

"Are you okay?" I questioned.

"Yeah," he said, loosening his tie. "You were right, by the way. The Cullens _are_ different. They seem really nice and everything, but they kind of gave me the creeps. Especially that one guy, I think his name is Jasper."

Of course he would find them creepy. Humans could sense the danger they were in, and I always thought of Jasper as a loose cannon. He almost killed Bella Swan a few years ago while she was still human. If it weren't for the fact that we'd been with almost the entire pack tonight, I wouldn't have left Dylan alone for a minute.

"They take some getting used to," I replied, leaning my head against the headrest.

"And Renesmee…she's okay, right?" Dylan asked worriedly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she's really big. We saw her…what, six months ago…and she looks like she's aged almost a year since then."

"It's like Jacob said," I reminded him. "She has a genetic condition that makes her grow fast."

It was the truth after all, but I still felt terrible for not telling him everything.

"I guess," Dylan replied. He began to thump his thumb repeatedly against the steering wheel.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "You seem a little nervous about somethi-"

"I'm not nervous," he replied so quickly I didn't even finish my sentence.

"Okay then," I said with a shrug.

We pulled into the parking lot of the motel. Once we were parked outside of our room, I opened the car door. Dylan just sat there.

"Are we going in?" I questioned.

"Hmm…yeah," Dylan responded, completely distracted.

We walked inside the motel room. I was about to ask Dylan if he wanted to watch some TV when he grabbed me and pushed me against the entryway door. His mouth covered mine hungrily. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself against him. He responded by dipping his tongue into my mouth, caressing it against mine. He leaned down and reached for my leg, hitching it up around his waist. I instantly complied and wrapped both limbs around him. His hand ran under my thigh, pushing my dress up as he went. He froze as he reached the top of my garter.

"Are you wearing a garter belt?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered breathlessly. Dylan groaned before pulling away and letting me go. I looked at him in bewilderment.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to go that far. I've been wanting to kiss you like that since you walked out of the bathroom earlier and-"

I grabbed him by the jacket and pushed him backwards until we reached the edge of the bed. Giving him a shove, he went back and landed sprawled on the mattress. He looked up at me in surprise. Sometimes having extra strength really was a bonus. I leaned down and licked his parted lips with my tongue while straddling his lap.

"Don't you dare think of stopping now," I ordered.

I reached down for the hem of my dress and pulled it up off my body. Thank goodness this thing was mostly spandex and didn't require a zipper. I heard Dylan's breath catch as he caught sight of my bustier, and I sent a silent thanks to Whitney for talking me into buying it.

With trembling hands, he reached out and touched my covered breasts. He stroked them tentatively at first before cupping them with both hands. I looked down and saw my swollen nipples protrude through the material of my corset. Dylan covered one with his hand, rubbing his palm back and forth against the sensitive peak until I began to squirm on his lap. He sat straight up and pulled me to him. While his one hand continued to tease me, his mouth pressed against my other bud, nipping at it with his teeth. He began to suckle on the area. My hands reached up and threaded through his hair so that I could hold him to me as pleasure began to shoot over my skin. He finally pulled back and I looked down. The one side of the bustier was wet from where he had loved me, the nipple standing out proudly.

I wanted to return the favor of foreplay. I pushed his jacket off of him and then quickly began to unbutton his shirt. Once his naked chest was exposed to me, I reached down and took one of his hardened nipples and pinched it with my fingers.

"Shit," Dylan muttered. Smiling, I pushed him until his back was against the bed. I immediately ran my tongue over the area I had just abused. While I continued to kiss his chest, I ran my fingers over his abs. I made my way down to the waistband of his pants. I went to undo the fastening but Dylan stopped me.

"Leah, are you sure about this?" he asked hesitantly. I replied by reaching for his hand and placing it at my heated center. Even through the barrier of my panties, he could feel my eager dampness.

"Does that answer your question?" I questioned, then moaned as his fingers began to tease me.

When I found myself beginning to thrust against his hand, I forced myself to pull away. I knew how difficult this was for Dylan. Though his body might be in charge at the moment, I didn't want him to wake up with any regrets. I got on the floor and removed his socks and shoes before I went back to his pants and unbuttoned them. Moving my hands to both sides of his waist, I pushed his clothes out of my way. Dylan scooted to the edge of the bed and lifted his hips up, giving me easier access.

After I had removed most of the obstacles, I sat back and admired my handiwork. Dylan was in nothing but his briefs. I smiled as I looked at his obvious desire for me. Slowly, I reached out and wrapped my hand around his erection. Dylan closed his eyes at my touch. I leaned in and kissed him through the material of his underwear. Dylan jerked then laid back down on the bed. Filled with sudden nerves, I reached for the sides of his underwear and slowly pulled them down, freeing him for me. I felt my own arousal increase as I looked at him. We had messed around many times over the year we'd been dating, but this was the first time he'd ever let me see him like this.

He was beautiful. I knew that he'd fit me perfectly. Though Dylan might not be my imprint, I had a feeling the world would explode once we came together. With that thought in mind, I bent down and licked the tip of his arousal. Dylan's eyes flew open.

"You don't have to do that…" Dylan said, though his eyes were pleading.

Smiling, I licked the underside of him, running my tongue along the shaft before making my way back up again. I repeated this action several times. Dylan groaned in return. I went back to the tip and wrapped my mouth around him before slowly moving my head. I hummed as Dylan began to move his hips gently with the rhythm I was creating. When I felt him getting close, I began to increase my speed. Instead of letting me finish, Dylan pushed me away.

"Leah, stop," he begged. I looked up at him in puzzlement. Though his eyes were glazed over with desire, he rasped out, "I want to be in you our first time."

He reached down and pulled me up by my arms until I was lying next to him. He moved his hands to my back. I could feel them move up and down my bustier. His face finally etched into a frustrated frown.

"Where the fuck is the fastening?" he muttered almost to himself. I giggled and moved his hands to the space between my breasts.

"It's here," I said, moving his fingers to the first one.

His eyes lit up as he slowly undid one hook after another until I was finally bare before his eyes. He bent his head and gently kissed the tip of one nipple before he licked it. Pulling back slightly, he blew some air on the pointed peak, causing me to shiver. Looking pleased with my reaction, he turned his attention to my lower half. He moved so that he could remove my shoes. After discarding them, he ran his hands up my thighs. He slowly undid one garter than the other, before rolling each pantyhose down my legs. Settling himself between my legs, he kissed each thigh in turn before placing his mouth right against my panty covered mound. He moved his head back and forth across the throbbing flesh there. Desire rippled over my body. I had to grab the sheets to avoid grabbing him. I didn't want to lose control and hurt him.

He removed my panties with almost clumsy urgency. "Leah, I don't think I can wait anymore."

"Don't wait," I heaved.

He got off the bed and reached for his wallet. Grabbing a condom out of it, he rolled it on before returning to the space between my legs. I felt him at my entrance and immediately arched towards him.

"I love you, Leah," Dylan told me as he began to enter me.

"I love you—" I couldn't even finish as Dylan filled me to the hilt. Fiery ecstasy began to pour over me as we began to move together. Slowly at first then quicker, until the pace became frantic. I felt my toes curl and my eyes roll just as my body shattered into a million pieces. I screamed as wave after wave of sweet agony assaulted my senses. Dylan thrust several more times before he yelled out his own release. He collapsed against me, his mouth seeking my breast to give it a weak kiss.

Once I got my breath back, I muttered, "Holy shit."

Dylan chuckled tiredly against my chest. "My sentiments exactly."

Never in my life had I ever experienced something so profound…something so moving. I thought I knew what physical and emotional love was. It took one night in Dylan's arms to realize I didn't have a fucking clue. I didn't know anything…until Dylan showed me the way.

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**Don't forget to please review! Leah and Sue's dresses are located on my photobucket account under the "story extras" folders if you want to see them. The link is on my profile. :)**


	16. Tiffany

**Chapter Prologue**

There is nothing better in the world than having sex with Dylan Gordon. There is literally no way to describe it (and if he ever reads my memoir, he'd probably kill me for how much I've already told you). But I digress.

Sex with Sam had always been good. What experience isn't when you're dealing with the emotions of first love? Sex with Dylan was something else entirely.

We connected emotionally, physically, and spiritually that first time. And every time after that only got better. It wasn't about satisfying a sexual urge either. It was so much more than that.

I was _loved_ by Dylan and I loved in him return. He gave me everything back that had been taken away from me when Sam imprinted and then when I became a wolf. With Dylan's unfailing understanding, I began to forgive myself for the guilt I felt over my father's death.

Not only that, but Dylan gave me confidence in myself. I felt disgusting…inhuman when I was a wolf. Dylan made me feel feminine and beautiful again.

The next morning after that first time, we had gone to Renesmee's birthday party. It had been pretty obvious what Dylan and I had been up to the night before, because we walked around the party wearing stupid-ass giddy expressions. And my pack brothers gave me so much shit for it…though thankfully not when Dylan was next to me. If I had any fears that Dylan might feel ashamed or guilty over sleeping with me, they proved to be unjustified. We _both_ seemed to put our ghosts to rest when we came together that night.

Of course going to Renesmee's party also showed me that it was too much of a risk to let Dylan interact with the supernatural. Emmett had been a pain in my ass the entire time. He kept making sly remarks about how he wished it were sunny out so that the Cullens could bring out "the disco scene." He also kept coming up and asking me if I wanted to arm wrestle so that we could show Dylan "what real strength looked like." Emmett finally left us alone after I quietly told him in a voice Dylan couldn't hear that I'd rip his balls off if he made one more innuendo. But his behavior had put questions into Dylan's mind; the biggest question being if Emmett was on drugs. I told him that Emmett had a mental disorder instead. The wolves and vampires in attendance who'd been blatantly eavesdropping on our conversation had given Emmett crap for the rest of the night.

The highlight of the party of course was Renesmee. To my amusement, she seemed to blush anytime Brady was around. She was at the age where she was starting to notice the opposite sex more. Jacob was good spirited about it. At that time, he never saw Ness as anything but his little buddy. He once told me that he couldn't even picture the day he'd marry Ness.

He remained good natured over the next few years as his imprint became even more boy crazy. I don't actually think he cared until she was physically around sixteen or seventeen. Then he started seeing her in a whole new light. And he minded very much if she looked at another guy.

As for me, I spent the next few years after my mom's wedding to Charlie Swan finishing up college and staying away from La Push. The summer after I graduated, Dylan and I decided to move in together. Whitney ended up getting married to Brandon Kramer. They got a nice penthouse in downtown Seattle. Dylan and I got an apartment in a trendy, youthful area of town. It was near the clubs, restaurants, and parks.

Whitney and I both kept our jobs at the spa after graduation. She was more determined than ever for us to open up one of our own one day, so we decided to learn the business as best as we could. I put in a lot of hours, but that was okay. Dylan wasn't home a lot anyway. He got a job setting up computer systems with the company he interned for. He could be gone for weeks at a time, traveling to different companies throughout the world as he set up his employer's software.

And I as much as I missed him, I accepted his absence, because I was always there when he came home. I had a great life with the man I loved beyond reason. I was finally happy. Me. Leah Clearwater. Fucking happy.

And then Dylan had to go and ruin everything by proposing to me…

**Chapter 16 – Tiffany**

"Leah, wake up," a warm voice said next to my ear, rousing me from a sound sleep.

"Nuh-uh," I mumbled into my pillow, burying my face into its comfortable softness. I heard a sexy chuckle in return.

"C'mon sweetie, I've got to leave in a bit," Dylan said, kissing my shoulder.

I pulled my tired eyes open and saw Dylan sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. He looked completely fresh in a crisp button down shirt and dress pants. With a squint at the bedside clock, I saw that it was a little after 6 AM. We had only gone to bed a few hours ago after a wild night of unbelievable hotness.

"How come you aren't exhausted?" I grumbled, turning on my side so that I could rest a hand on his thigh closest to my body.

He grinned at my pouty face. "I've got a lot of energy after all the exercise you put me through. Not that I'm complaining."

"When are you coming back so we can continue with our exercises?" I questioned as seductively as I could considering I was barely awake. I moved my hand to his inner thigh, but he stopped me, giving me a mock glare.

"Two weeks, I hope."

"Pick me up something nice in New York," I said with a yawn. "But not something tacky, like one of those foam Statue of Liberty hats."

"Don't worry, I've got the perfect souvenir in mind for you," he said with a smirk. He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly against mine, immediately making me yearn for more. "Be good while I'm gone."

"So in other words, no streaking through the neighborhood?"

"Oh, definitely streak," Dylan said with his infamous grin that sent my heart into overdrive. "Just make sure it gets posted on Youtube so I can see it."

He heard a knock on the front door. Groaning, Dylan leaned down and gave me one more quick kiss before getting up from the bed and grabbing his suitcase.

"The cab's here," he told me. "I've got to go. I love you."

"I love you, too," I returned. "Have a safe trip."

"I'll call you when I get there," Dylan promised as he headed out the door.

Once he was gone, I rolled over on my stomach and tried to sleep. After tossing and turning for ten minutes, I got up and went into our walk-in closet. I ran my fingers lightly over Dylan's different shirts. When I got to a few of his t-shirts, I grabbed one that smelled the strongest like him. Pulling the shirt over my naked chest, I went back to bed, lying on Dylan's side and pressing my face into his pillow. Shivering slightly, I reached down and grabbed one of the extra blankets that were balled around my feet and pulled it over me. It had been almost five years since I last phased. My body was no longer a toasty 108.9 degrees. Surrounded by Dylan's scent, I immediately fell back to sleep.

A few hours later, I got up and lazily made my way into the kitchen. It was Sunday, so I didn't have to work until tomorrow. I thought about calling Whitney, but I was pretty sure she had some social brunch to attend with her husband. Deciding some fresh air would clear my head from my morning grogginess, I pulled on some comfortable clothes and my light jacket and headed outside. Dylan and I had found an apartment not too far from Elliot Bay Park. It was a small stretch of land that overlooked the bay Seattle surrounded. It was beautiful and had quickly become our favorite haunt.

I made my way there, umbrella in hand and walked along the pedestrian trail. I already missed Dylan. One of these days I was going to have to go back to La Push when Dylan had one of his trips. It'd be nice to see everyone again. I made my way over to one of the park benches and sat down, watching the boats on the water.

When it began to drizzle, I made my way back home so that I could get my car and do some errands. Hours later, I was still feeling bored. After returning to my apartment and making myself some dinner, I decided to give the house a good cleaning. While I was scrubbing the toilet, I heard the phone ring. Quickly washing my hands, I ran to get it.

"Hey," Dylan said when he heard my voice.

"Hi, how was the flight?" I asked.

"Oh you know, same old, same old. I was feeling a little restless on the plane so the flight attendant gave me a blow job."

"I hope _he_ was good," I replied smartly back.

"Brat." Dylan snorted. "How was your day?

"Meh, I went to the park and had wild sex with some vagrant."

"Nice," Dylan responded. "So what are you wearing?"

I looked down at my clothes. "A holey t-shirt and cut-off sweatpants."

"Oh baby, that sounds hot," Dylan joked. Phone sex was something we had done on more than one occasion when Dylan was on one of his trips. I was half tempted to start something now, but I could hear the tiredness in his voice.

"What time is it there?" I wondered.

"I don't know…a little past 10 pm, I think."

"Get some sleep," I ordered. "You've had an exhausting past 24 hours."

"Yes ma'am," Dylan replied. "Love you."

"I love you," I told him. We said our goodnights and hung up the phone.

The next couple of weeks dragged by. Dylan and I talked on the phone every night, but that didn't make me miss him any less. I had grown addicted to his warm presence in our bed. The day he was supposed to arrive back, I heard a knock on the door. I looked at it with a frown. Dylan wasn't supposed to be back for a few more hours.

I was surprised when I saw Renesmee standing in the doorway with a suitcase in hand. She was about five and a half now, though she looked closer to fifteen. Ness was maturing into a breathtakingly beautiful woman. At the moment though, her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Ness, hey," I said as I stood back so she could enter the apartment.

She came in and looked briefly around before facing me. "Leah, could I please stay here tonight?"

I glanced over at the apartment parking lot. I half expected to see Jake or Edward standing by one of the cars outside my building. "How did you get here?"

With a sniff, she said, "I ran to the airport in Port Angeles and hopped on a plane to Seattle. Then I came straight here."

"Does Jake know where you are?"

"No," she replied instantly, sounding slightly panicked. "I don't want him to either."

My eyes narrowed. I wrapped my arm around her waist and dragged her over to the living room couch where we both sat down.

"Okay, spill," I instructed.

She kicked off her shoes before pulling her legs up to her chest. With a sob, she put her head on her knees and started crying so hard her body was shaking. My level of worry shot through the roof.

"Did something happen to Jake or one of the guys in the pack?" I questioned hurriedly.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "It w-was nothing like that."

She began to cry harder. I looked over at my purse on the table. I desperately wanted to call Jake and find out what the hell what going on.

I reached over and pushed some of her hair away from her face where it clung to her damp cheek.

"Ness, you have to calm down, before you make yourself sick," I said soothingly.

"Leah, I'm j-just so u-upset."

"Tell me what's wrong," I implored.

"J-Jake u-used to love my m-mother."

"Oh…" I said with relief. "Jesus Renesmee, I thought it was something serious."

I got up to get her a tissue because she was now crying inconsolably now.

"O-of course it's serious!" she cried. I was about to say something calming, when she added, "I a-also f-found out that he tried to k-kill me when I was a b-baby."

Oh…shit! I froze as I tried to figure out what to do about this. I turned and faced her. My heart bled for the absolute devastation I could read on her face.

"Do your parents at least know you took off?" I asked.

"No, I don't want to talk to them, especially my mom," she said so stubbornly she reminded me of myself. I tried not to smile.

"Honey, Jake will find you in a half a heart beat if he decides to track you."

"How? I covered my tracks."

I shook my head. Stupid Jacob. He apparently hadn't told Renesmee about imprinting. I was half tempted to call him and chew him out for that. I was going to have to give Ness a talk that should have been his responsibility.

"It's all part about being a wolf," I said carefully. "Ness, let me call him, otherwise he'll show up and bust down my door."

"Fine," she said with a sniff. "But I don't want to talk to him. And if he tries to come here, I'll run."

"Okay," I replied. I grabbed my phone and went out onto the balcony outside of my living room. I closed the door behind me…not that Ness couldn't have heard my conversation.

"Leah?" Jake said after the first ring, his voice raspy from strain.

"She's here," I told him. I heard him release a pent-up breath.

"I'm on my way," he responded.

"No," I stated instantly. "Jake, she doesn't want to see you. If you come here, she'll run."

"Leah, I've got to talk to her…I've got to explain—"

"Just give her some space, Jake," I said in a low voice, hopeful that Ness wouldn't hear over her sobs. "How'd she find out anyway?"

"It's a long story," Jake said tiredly. "Will you please just tell her to come home? And that we love her—that I love her very much?"

"Yeah, okay," I returned. I hung up and went back into the room. Renesmee was no longer bawling her eyes out. She was sitting on the couch looking completely desolate. I grabbed the box of tissue and handed it to her.

"Thanks," she murmured. "W-what'd he say?"

"That he loves you…that they all do, and they want you to come home."

Ness shook her head. "I can't. Not right now."

"You're welcome to stay here, but I really hope you'll consider going home and working this out."

"No," she said firmly before adding on dramatically, "I never want to see any of them again for as long as I live."

I tried not to smile at that. It was so easy to forget that Renesmee was a teenager now, until she let loose with her wild, up and down emotions.

"Considering you're immortal, that's a long time to not see your family," I remarked.

"I knew you'd be on their side," she snapped, getting up from the couch.

"I'm not on anyone's side," I told her. "I don't even know what the hell happened so you can drop your 'it's me versus the world' attitude. Sit back down and talk to me."

Looking for a minute like she was going to argue, she finally sighed and sat back down, looking defeated. "I-I don't want to go into details, if that's all right. I can't talk about it."

"That's okay," I assured her.

Renesmee bit her lip before saying, "Let's just say I remembered something…something that triggered a memory. And when I asked Jake, he confessed everything. He told me how he used to love my mom and that he had thought about killing me when I was first born."

She shuddered and looked so miserable I gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"Nessie, you have to understand something. None of us knew what you were. Even Carlisle and Edward didn't know. As far as we knew, you could have been born a complete monster that destroyed everything in your sight. It was pretty reassuring when you came out instead looking like a normal, beautiful baby girl. Yes, Jake thought about destroying you. He loved Bella, though I think he got his feelings of friendship mixed up with stupid teenage hormones. When he thought she died right after you were born, he wasn't thinking straight. But I promise you, Ness. From the moment Jacob looked into your eyes, he has loved and cherished you. He would've died on the spot if anything happened to you. I know this for a fact because I saw the whole thing through the windows of your house. As soon as he really looked at you, you became his whole world. That hasn't changed once in all the time you've been with us."

"Leah…" Renesmee started to say and then stopped. I knew she was holding back something important.

"You can tell me anything, you know," I reminded her. She looked so pitiful, a part of me wanted Jake to be with us so I could punch him in the gonads. If he manned up and told her about imprinting, it would be saving them both a lot of pain right now.

"I-I think I love Jacob," Ness finally confessed. "I mean…I _know_ I love him. My dad says I'm too young to understand what that kind of love is, but he still sees me as a kid. I'm in love with Jacob Black. And to know that he gave my mom his heart first—"

"Something which she didn't accept, because she loved your dad," I pointed out. "Ness, that was before you were even born. Don't hold it against Jake now. I'm positive that if Jacob could go back in time, he would have never tricked himself into believing he loved Bella."

"But he'll never love me," she replied meekly.

"Ah…now I get it," I remarked. "You love him, but he still sees you as a kid, right?"

She nodded. I laughed causing her to look at me in surprise. I patted her cheek in sympathetic understanding.

"You know, Dylan was engaged before he met me, but his fiancée died. I didn't think he would ever love me like he loved her, but I gave him time. Now, I have no doubt of Dylan's love for me. Lil' M, you're only 15. Once you get a little older, I'm positive Jake will start seeing you in a whole new light. Give him time though. Guys are notoriously slow at picking up the signals when a girl is interested. In the meantime, will you think about going home and talking to Jake? He sounded pretty torn up when I called."

"Good," Ness muttered with slight satisfaction. "I…I just need some time. I'm not ready to face him or my mom right now. I want some space to think things over."

"What are you going to do, Nessie?" I asked cautiously. Jacob would have my head if I let Renesmee go off to explore the world on her own.

"I think I might go up north for a bit," she said with a frown. "Our Denali cousins are up there. I think they'll let me stay with them."

"And if they don't?"

Renesmee sighed. "Maybe I'll go to see our friends in the Amazon."

"Before you go globe trotting, pretty please consider talking to Jacob. Or if you don't want to talk to him, call your parents."

"I'll think about it," Ness agreed. Before either of us could speak again, the front door to my apartment opened and Dylan walked in. I quickly got up and ran over to him, giving him a big hug.

"I wasn't expecting you home for a couple more hours," I said. He pulled me in for a kiss. I was about to deepen it when I remembered Ness. I let him go and grabbed his hand.

"I took an earlier flight," he explained as I dragged him into the living room.

"Dylan, do you remember Renesmee?"

He stopped moving as he took Ness's appearance in. I knew what he was seeing. She had aged five years since he saw her last.

"I thought I remembered her," he said almost to himself. Remembering his manners, he went over and shook her hand. "Nice to see you again."

"You too," she answered politely. Standing up, she grabbed her suitcase. "I should get going."

"Where are you going to go?" I asked.

"I think I'll go to the airport."

"Ness, just crash here tonight, and then I'll take you tomorrow, okay?" I pleaded.

She looked at Dylan. "Are you sure that wouldn't be a problem?"

"Not at all," Dylan replied, taking in Renesmee's swollen eyes before looking at me in concern. I gave him a look that said I'd explain later.

"I was planning on cooking something for you," I told him.

"Why don't we just order Chinese and have them deliver it," Dylan suggested.

"Ness, will you eat Chinese?" I asked, knowing that her preference was for blood. She nodded with a slight grimace.

A couple hours later I was getting sheets out for Ness to use on the couch. Dinner had been relaxing. Dylan worked his magic and had Renesmee smiling in no time. After I made up her bed, I watched as she crawled beneath the sheets.

"I'll take you to the airport tomorrow, okay?" I told her.

"Sure. Thanks Leah. For everything," Ness said as she yawned tiredly.

"No problem," I replied. "Sleep tight."

Going into my own room, I saw Dylan on the bed reading a book. I got ready for bed and laid down beside him, snuggling into his chest. He put the book on his bedside table and switched off the lamp.

"So you want to tell me what that was all about?" he asked.

Knowing that Ness could hear everything, I shook my head. "Not now. I just want to revel in the fact that you're back."

I kissed his chest and his hold on me tightened, his fingers combing through my hair.

"I can't believe how big that kid has gotten," he stated.

"I know, me either," I said casually. Reaching up, I lightly grazed his lips with mine. "Good night."

"Night."

I stayed awake for hours after I heard Dylan's breathing even out as sleep overtook him. My heart hurt for Ness. It wasn't easy to believe that someone could love you when they loved someone else so much first. I knew I struggled when Dylan and I first got together. But I also knew that Jake wouldn't see Ness romantically until she got a little older. In the meantime, he really needed to sit down and make sure she understood the past was the past. I just hoped she'd give him a chance.

I finally fell asleep around 3 am. I woke with a start a few hours later. Feeling that something was off, I went to check on Ness. I found the couch empty, the sheets neatly folded. There was a note on top of one of the blankets.

_Dear Leah,_

_Thank you for everything you did for me yesterday. I called the airport this morning and was able to get an early flight to Alaska. I'll think about everything you said. If you want to tell my parents where I've gone, you can. If you talk to them, please tell them to respect my wishes and leave me alone. Thanks again for listening!_

_Love,_

_Nessie_

"Shit," I muttered. I had really hoped she would go home. Grabbing my cell phone, I made a call to Jacob.

"Lo'," he croaked out, sounding as though he hadn't slept at all.

"It's me," I said. "Ness is gone. She's headed for Alaska."

I had to pull the phone away from my ear as Jacob went on a ten minute swearing streak.

"Why the fuck didn't you stop her?" he finally yelled.

"Because she snuck out while I was sleeping," I snapped. "What was I supposed to do? Chain her to the couch?"

"What'd she say?" Jake asked immediately.

"She left me a letter, just a sec…" I pulled out the letter and read what Ness wrote. I heard Jacob sigh depressingly.

"That's it then, she's gone."

"You're seriously accepting defeat?" I questioned incredulously.

"I have to, Leah. My imprint said she doesn't want me around. If that's what she needs, then I have to oblige."

"Imprints," I muttered.

"Yeah, I know," he said sadly. "Look, I'm sorry for going off on you. I'm glad Nessie had someone to turn to last night."

"You're welcome," I replied. "If she gets back in touch with me, I'll let you know."

"Thanks," he said, before disconnecting the call.

Feeling unhappy that I let my Alpha down, I went back into my room and lay next to Dylan. I fell back into a restless sleep. A few hours later, I reached out my hand for him, but felt the coolness of the sheets next to me. Jerking up, I looked around. The bedroom was empty.

"Dylan?" I called out.

"Be right there," his muffled voice replied. "Stay where you are."

Sitting up in the bed, I folded my hands together on my lap as I waited for him to return. He came in moments later, carrying a tray. I saw it had a plate of eggs on it, a cup of juice, and a vase with a white lily in it.

"I saw Renesmee's note," he said as he put the tray across my lap. "She left pretty early, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Did you call her parents and let them know?"

"I called Jacob. He'll tell her parents everything," I explained. I touched the petals of the flower with my index finger. "It's beautiful."

Dylan shrugged. "You have a very floral scent to you. When I think of lilies, I think of you."

I smiled at that. "So what's the special occasion? Why breakfast in bed?"

"Can't I give you a treat every once in awhile?" Dylan asked innocently.

I gave him a mock glare. "Is this your way of keeping me in bed?"

"Possibly," he replied with a smirk. "I do have one other reason though…"

He reached in his pant pocket and pulled out a small jeweler's box. My heart leapt as I read the insignia on top, _Tiffany & Co_. Going by the box size, I knew that it held a ring inside its depths.

Dylan smiled at me tenderly before opening it up. I sucked in a breath as I stared at the ring inside. It had three emerald cut diamonds on a white gold band. The middle stone was an orangy pink color held in place by gold prongs. On either side were smaller white diamonds embraced in silver prongs. It was absolutely breathtaking. The very sight of it broke my heart.

"What do you think of your souvenir?" Dylan asked sweetly. "I wanted to get something that reminded me of you…beautiful and unique."

"What, uh…what is this?" I questioned with shaky breath.

"Leah, I love you with all of my heart," he told me, picking up my hand and kissing it. "The past four years that we've been together have been some of the happiest of my life—"

"Dylan, I—" I tried to interrupt. I knew where he was going with this. I didn't want him to propose. I didn't want to have to go through the pain of rejecting him. But I couldn't stop him in time.

"Leah, will you marry me?"

I closed my eyes. I couldn't speak if I wanted to. I wanted to scream at him, yes. But if my conversation with Jacob earlier proved anything, it was that I couldn't move forward until I told Dylan everything. Jake wanted to go after Ness, but he couldn't because he had to give his imprint what she wanted. I couldn't risk imprinting someday and having to give into them and deny Dylan.

"Dylan, do you really love me?" I finally asked, opening my eyes to look at him.

"You know I do," he said warmly.

"And you'll love me forever…no matter what?"

He smiled softly at me. "Of course."

"What if there was something really wrong with me?" I asked, my stomach twisting in terror for what I was about to do. "What if I was horribly disfigured or looked like a monster?"

"Leah, I love you unconditionally," he said, leaning down to kiss me. I held up my hand to halt his process.

"What if I told you that the legends of my people were true?" I questioned, completely queasy. "Do you remember when we first had lunch together? I told you that my people changed into wolves. It's true."

"What are you talking about?" Dylan wondered blankly, his forehead forming a frown. I shoved the blankets off my legs and got out of bed, walking into the living room. Dylan followed behind me.

"There are a lot of things in this world that you don't know about. There are vampires. And there are werewolves. I used to be a wolf, Dylan."

"Look…uh…Leah," he said looking hurt and angry. "If you don't want to marry me, just say so."

I threw my head back and stared up at the ceiling in frustrated misery.

"Dylan, I can't marry you without you knowing everything. Do you remember my genetic condition? How hot my skin used to be? How physically strong and muscular I once was? That's because I had just retired from the pack shortly after I met you. The reason I can't have kids is because I haven't had a period since I first phased. My body is immortal."

"Leah—"

"It's true," I insisted, seeing the doubt on his face. "My people become werewolves when vampires are around. The Cullen family that you met before. You said they were different. It's because they're all vampires. They moved near my rez when I was a teenager and a bunch of us phased so that we could protect the tribe. That's always been our way since the first vampire showed up in La Push centuries ago. Renesmee Cullen—her genetic condition—she was conceived by a vampire father and a human mother. Edward and Bella are her parents. Bella got pregnant when she was still a human. That's why Ness grows abnormally fast. And my pack brothers, Quil, Embry, Jacob, even my real brother Seth. We're all werewolv—"

"That's enough," Dylan interrupted so quietly I could barely hear him. "Leah, do you have any idea how hard this was for me to propose? How could you mock me like this?"

"I'm not," I pleaded with him to understand, tears forming in my eyes.

"You're talking like you're crazy," Dylan said with an angry sweep of his hand. "Jesus, Leah, werewolves and vampires? If you actually think this shit is real, then you need professional help."

I reached down for the table in front of my couch and moved it out of my way. Judging the distance between myself and the ceiling, I knew I had room to phase. I reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it off, before tugging my PJ boxer shorts down my legs.

"I'm not really in the mood for that right now," Dylan said bitterly.

"Just shut up and watch," I snapped.

Closing my eyes, I let feelings surface that I had tried to resist for five years. Anger and bitterness for the curse that resided in me began to take over. Heat started to radiate from the base of my spine and I began to shake. It was hard for me to phase. It had been too long. But knowing that I was going to lose Dylan over this was enough to send me over the edge. I would never escape from the hell of being a wolf, and now I was going to lose the only man I ever truly loved. When an infuriated growl, my skin ripped away and for the first time in years, the wolf surfaced.

I opened my eyes and saw myself towering over Dylan. His face paled and he took several steps back until he hit the front door of the apartment. I had to keep myself crouched down low so that I didn't hit the ceiling.

_Leah?_ I felt Seth inside my head.

_I can't talk now, I'll explain later, _I told him. I let go of the anger that was consuming me and my body began to shrink until I was back in my naked human form. I pulled my clothes back on and faced Dylan. He was staring at me with wide, shocked eyes.

"So…" I shifted uncomfortably. He jumped at the sound of my voice. I took a step towards him. He plastered himself even more against the door. I felt my shoulders slump.

"I know," I said softly. "It's a lot to take in. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore."

"I…I…"

He couldn't even speak. Tears of sorrow spilled down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I wish I could be a normal girl for you."

"I…I have to go," he finally said.

"Okay," I said quietly back. "But…please don't tell anyone."

He nodded, his body stiff, his breath labored. He opened the door without taking his eyes off me and walked outside backwards. When the door finally closed behind him, I collapsed on the floor, sobbing my eyes out.

Dylan didn't return that night. In fact, I didn't see or hear from him over the next five days. I went into our bedroom that first day and found the ring box still on our bed. I placed it on his bedside table, but couldn't find it in me to put it away. Most nights, I fell asleep, curled up on Dylan's side of the bed, just staring at the box while the scent of lily filled the air from the flower he had given me. I spent the rest of my time at the spa, putting in extra hours until I came home exhausted every night. Seth came to see me once; he and my other wolf brothers were worried about me after they realized I had told Dylan the truth. I politely thanked him for checking on me and sent him on his way.

On Saturday morning, I dragged myself out of my bed and headed to Elliott Bay Park. It was a rare sunny day, though there was a chill in the air. I barely noticed. Thanks to my recent phasing, my body temper had shot back up above normal, though it hovered around 103, instead of 108.9 degrees.

I made my way to the bench that Dylan and I had sat on so many times before to watch the sunset. Nothing in my life would ever be the same without him. Resting my elbows on my knees, I pressed my palms to my eyes, hoping that it would stem the tears that always seemed to be on the surface anymore.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I jerked my head up and found Dylan standing next to me. His face no longer bore the horror that it did when I last saw him. Instead, he looked introspective and…peaceful. He sat down next to me and stared out at the water.

"I went to the apartment first but when I didn't find you there, I decided to come here," he said casually.

"Dylan…what? I mean…I thought you didn't want to see me again."

"There you go, always jumping to conclusions," he said, glancing back at me. "You said something right after…you know. I've been thinking about it nonstop ever since."

"What was that?" I asked in confusion.

"You said that you wished you could be a normal girl for me."

"Oh…" was my only response.

"Leah…from the moment I first saw you in the basement of that fraternity house, I knew you weren't 'normal.' You stood out and made me forget everything…all the shit that I was dealing with at the time. A normal girl wouldn't have been able to reach me the way that you did. You frustrated me, made me feel like hitting things at times, made me laugh when I felt like giving up…you gave me a reason to go on when I didn't want one. What I don't understand now is how you think my love for you is so worthless that I wouldn't be able to accept everything about you."

"This is a big thing to accept though," I whispered.

"That's very true, but it's made you who you are. And I want to know everything about you. No more holding back."

"Okay," I said.

He deserved that much. So I told him everything. I told him about Sam and his imprinting on Emily. I explained in detail what imprinting meant. He asked only one question while I spoke…if I had ever imprinted or not, and I had to tell him no. He had paled, but said nothing else. I told him about phasing in front of my dad, which triggered his heart attack. I told him everything about the Cullens and Jacob and Renesmee. I told him in detail about our legends. I spent the next two hours telling him my entire story.

When I was finished he said, "Wow. And I thought I had a lot to deal with in my life."

I laughed a little at the irony of it all. "I guess that's why you and I became as close as we did. We've both been hurt so much in the past."

"So, you're immortal then," Dylan said sadly.

"No," I replied. "I was beginning to age until I phased the other day. After we give up our wolf spirit, our powers go dormant. Who knows how much this recent phase set me back though."

He seemed to hesitate before saying, "Is being a wolf the only reason you don't want to marry me?"

I shook my head. "Weren't you listening? I can imprint at anytime, Dylan. I could get on a bus, see some stranger, and imprint. It wouldn't matter if we were together or not, I wouldn't be able to resist that person. Most of the guys who imprint don't even see people of the opposite sex. I wouldn't be able to look at you anymore without your features going out of focus for me."

I tentatively touched the side of his handsome face. He held my hand to him before letting me go.

"Why didn't you tell me about any of this before?" he asked, his tone angry. "All this time we've been together, you could have imprinted and left me. Didn't you think I had the right to know?"

"I couldn't tell you," I whispered. "We're not supposed to tell people who aren't our imprints. Even some members of our own tribe don't know about us."

He looked thoughtful for a minute, before I saw the anger leave his face.

"So what are the chances of you imprinting?" he asked. "Ninety percent? Eighty?"

I shrugged. "I'd say fifty/fifty."

"Is that all?" he asked, suddenly looking happier, kicking out his legs in front of him and crossing one over the other casually.

"Dylan, you've seen Emily and Sam together. Even Jacob and Renesmee. They're a unit. They're connected in ways that no one else can break."

"That's them," he replied. "Besides, you don't think we have a connection? It might not be something where I can find you if you ever leave me…though I didn't have any problems finding you today…but I say there is definitely something almost mystical about our love. I'm not about to lose you on the off chance that you might imprint someday. It's not even a guarantee that it'll happen. Nope, sorry. I'm not letting you go."

"Dylan, I can't let you take that risk."

His eyes narrowed in determination. "Leah, do you love me?"

"Yes," I whispered without hesitation.

"I'd risk anything for that," Dylan told me. "You know, contrary to what you've said, I don't think you're cursed. I think you're blessed."

"How can you even say that after what I've told you?" I asked.

"Did you ever think that all this shit happened to you because it was leading you to me?" he questioned, making me start. "Call me selfish, but I'm glad Sam imprinted on Emily. I'm sorry you got hurt, but if it meant that you'd be mine someday, I'm glad life sent you in a new direction."

"Dylan, the thought of imprinting on someone else and losing you drives me insane."

"Don't think about it so much. You're in the spa business. You need to learn to relax," he ordered before leaning in and kissing me lovingly on the lips. He pulled back and brushed his knuckles against my cheek. "Now, I'm going to ask you this one more time."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out the _Tiffany & Co._ box.

"Leah Clearwater, I love you…furry tail and all," he stated causing me to giggle. "I'd rather have a few minutes of happiness with you than a lifetime without anything at all. Life's a gamble, but I'm willing to play the odds. That said…"

He pulled the ring out of the box. The sun's beams hit it as Dylan held it up, causing the ring to shimmer in the late morning light.

"Marry me, Leah," Dylan said. "Take the risk."

I looked from the ring to Dylan and slowly nodded, my heart filling with joy.

"Yes."

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I'm really excited to hear your thoughts on this chapter so **please review**! Also, Leah's ring can be found on my photobucket account under "Story Extras." The link is on my profile page. In case you're wondering, I still have about seven chapters left of this story and then we're going to be done.


	17. Black

_A/N – Hello everyone! I haven't updated this in awhile due to working on an original story. I'm slowly but surely going to get Absent done, though my other story Stormy is going to get my full focus. I appreciate your patience while I wrap up both stories! By the way, if you get squeamish by bodily functions, don't read this chapter._

**Story Recap**

Here's where we left off in this story. Jake and Ness had gotten into a fight and she ran away from home (she was technically five at the time, physically in her mid-teens). Leah phased in front of Dylan after he proposed, and he left her for a week. He eventually returned and said that he was willing to take the risk of her imprinting; he just wanted to be with her. The two then officially got engaged.

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**Chapter Prologue**

Dylan and I didn't get married right away. We were engaged for a year before we set a date. I wanted to make sure that he was well aware of what he was getting himself into.

A test for us came when we went back to La Push for Ness's sixth birthday. I had worried that Dylan would decide my world was too weird, and he'd call off our relationship. It was going to be the first time he was around everyone knowing what they truly were. Instead of being afraid or nervous though, Dylan had watched everyone with a fascination he couldn't quite hide.

Amazingly, he and Jasper got along wonderfully. I had been worried about him being around that particular bloodsucker, but Jasper kind of gravitated towards us on his own. As he apologetically explained it to me, Dylan and I were both so happy it was hard for him to resist us.

Another unfounded concern of mine had been the wellbeing of my Alpha. After Ness had run away to Alaska, she hadn't returned for months, and Jake barely survived. She eventually came back though, and they made up. LOL, I mean, they _really_ made up.

I think it was during her birthday that Jake finally started seeing Ness in a whole new light. She was physically around sixteen at that point. Jacob had struggled to keep his eyes off her throughout the party much to Renesmee's relief and joy. Over the next year, they began to fall in love with one another until things finally came to a head shortly before Ness's seventh birthday.

She was physically almost eighteen at that point, and Jake ended up weakening and sleeping with her. Of course she got pregnant, and Edward flew off the handle. But Carlisle later surmised that if she and Jacob had waited for her to reach full maturity, she wouldn't have been able to get pregnant. Shortly after Nessie's seventh birthday, her body became immortal, frozen forever. Unfortunately, she was also pregnant at the time with their twins. Their birth was almost as heinous as Bella's labor had been. Carlisle practically had to rip Renesmee apart to get the babies out.

But I digress. A couple of weeks after Ness's seventh birthday, she and Jacob had their shotgun wedding. Ness walked up the aisle glowing…and completely knocked up. I had to attend the event alone as Dylan had been called out of town for business.

Now, let me remind you about something. A lot of shit always goes down when the pack gets together. If there's a group of wolves and the opposite sex is nearby, someone's bound to imprint. And that's exactly what happened at the Blacks' wedding. Thankfully though, I wasn't one of the victims.

But it was during the weekend of the wedding that my past came to face me one more time…

**Chapter 17 – Black**

"I'm really sorry I can't come with you," Dylan said as he threw some socks in his suitcase.

"It's fine," I told him as bravely as I could. I hated the idea of returning to La Push on my own, but I couldn't very well miss Jake and Renesmee's wedding.

I was nervous about going though. The wolf pack never could get together without something going down. At Sam and Emily's wedding, I slept with Will. Who knew what would happen at this one.

"What's bothering you?" Dylan asked as he paused in his packing.

"Nothing," I said as I reached for one of his shirts and began to fold it for him. "I'm just nervous I guess."

"About?"

I couldn't answer so I just shook my head. Dylan came over and lifted my chin so that I was looking into his hypnotic blue eyes.

"I always know when something is wrong with you so spill it," he ordered.

"Both packs are going to be there today," I finally said. "What if something happens? What if…"

"One of you imprints?"

I nodded. Dylan sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "You said yourself that you already knew all of the wolves. You've seen them and they've seen you, so the chances of you imprinting on one of them or vice versa is non-existent, right?"

"Yeah," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Then don't worry." He kissed my head. "And have a good time."

I pulled away so that I could look at his handsome face. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he murmured before he kissed me. My skin broke out into goosebumps as his lips lingered against mine. Dylan always made me feel this way. So girlish and wonderful.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. "A little over a month, and it'll be our turn."

"Very true," I replied happily, and Dylan moved so that he was nuzzling my neck.

Our wedding was already planned out. We were going to be married in Seattle. It was going to be big and gaudy and I couldn't wait. Being a wolf had robbed me of my femininity. I was stealing it back. The entire wedding was going to be doused in pink, right down to my pink, frilly wedding dress. I was a woman, and I was going to damn well make sure everyone knew it, too.

November wasn't the best time to get married, but we didn't want to wait. Whitney and I were planning on opening our very first spa in the early part of the following year. Dylan and I wanted to be married before the craziness of starting a business hit us.

"I guess you need to get on the road," Dylan said with a regretful sigh as he pulled away from me.

"Yeah," I said, equally reluctant. "I'm going to miss the hell out of you."

A smile tugged on his lips. "I'm going to miss you, too. I'll call you as soon as I get to London. It should be sometime tonight."

"Okay," I said as I forced myself to leave his comforting embrace. Dylan grabbed my suitcase as I carried the bag that held my dress for the wedding. We made our way to my car and once I had everything stowed away, I turned into his arms one more time. Dylan kissed my eyelids, my nose, and then our mouths touched again. Things started to get heated as Dylan's tongue came out to play with mine. Groaning, I finally pulled away.

"Don't go picking up any hookers while you're away," I playfully warned as I got in my car.

"I wouldn't dare," he said, grinning devilishly. "You'd kick my ass. It's not worth it."

"Damn straight it's not," I replied, before coyly winking at him. "Love you."

"Love you," he said as he waved me off.

I made the five hour drive, singing songs at the top of my lungs as I blasted the radio, and daydreamed about my wedding. I wished I could have flown to Port Angeles and gotten a ride from there, but Dylan and I were saving every penny for our honeymoon. We were spending a week in New York City. I couldn't wait as I'd never been there before.

I finally made it to La Push and headed for the old house, breathing in the salty sea air as I drove. My mom and Charlie were living at his house in Forks, while Seth took over the family home. He was currently managing the _Clearwater Supply Store_. It turned out that my little brother was a wiz at numbers and had amazing business sense. Though my mom held a majority of the shares in the store with Seth and I each getting twenty-five percent, he was putting a nice chunk of change in our pockets every month. Since he had taken over the business, he'd found ways to cut costs while doubling our monthly profit. It was because of Seth's careful managing skills that I was able to afford my lavish wedding.

Parking my car outside, I grabbed my bags and headed for the front door. It opened before I got there, and Seth greeted me with his goofy grin.

"You're here!" he said, grabbing my suitcase with one hand and giving me a hug.

"Hey, bro," I replied with a grin. One of the only things I hated about living so far away from La Push was not getting to see my family as much as I used to.

"How was the drive?" he asked as we went inside and he carried my bag to my room.

"Long," I said. "How much time do I have before the wedding?"

"A couple of hours?"

"Is Mom meeting us here?"

"No, she and Charlie are at the Cullens. Charlie wanted to be there early since it's his grandkid getting married."

I snorted. "That must have been hard for him to accept."

"You have no idea." Seth snickered. "All week he kept muttering, 'but she was only a baby a few years ago.'"

"No statement could be truer." I laughed. "How's Ness doing? I haven't talked to her in a couple of weeks."

"She's good. I think she'll be happier to have the wedding over with. Alice has been—err—really enthusiastic over the details."

"She must be in her element," I said, thankful that I hadn't given in and used her services. No freaking way was a leech touching my wedding.

"Yeah, she's having a blast," Seth replied with a grin.

We got caught up for a few more minutes before I went into the bathroom and took a shower. My hair was now a little past my shoulders and I was able to twist it up into an elegant bun. Since I was all about the color pink at the moment, I had brought a short pink party dress to wear that hugged my body. When I was satisfied with my appearance, I went out and met my brother.

"You bringing anyone with you?" I asked.

"Nope," Seth replied as we made our way outside.

"Why not? You're an eligible guy. You should date again."

"I will someday. It's just…"

"You don't want to risk imprinting on someone while in a relationship with someone else," I stated matter-of-factually.

"No, I don't," Seth admitted as he got behind the wheel. "I mean, aren't you afraid of imprinting on someone, even though you're with Dylan?"

"I'll always be afraid of that," I said truthfully. "But as Dylan once told me, you have to take some risks in your life."

My brother smiled at me before he started the car. "I'm glad your happy, Leah. It shows."

Satisfied that I at least gave my brother something to think about, I began naming women who lived on the rez that he could date. As it turned out, the ones I knew of were either married and/or had kids. When we finally made it to the Cullen property where the wedding was going to take place, Seth eagerly left my persistent presence.

I decided to go find Jacob. He wasn't that hard to find. He was in the woods, pacing back and forth nervously. Quil and Embry were with him, though Embry didn't really seem to be there mentally. He kept staring off in the direction of the house, his face blank. Quil, on the other hand, was driving Jake nuts.

"All I'm saying," he stated, "was that it _might_ have been Ness I saw running for the forest as if her dress was on fire. It could have been a look-alike making a run for it."

"Look, dipshit," Jake growled. "If it were Nessie, don't you think I'd feel it? I can sense her presence even if she's miles away, remember?"

Still, he looked worried. Rolling my eyes, I said, "Stop it, Quil, before you give the man a complex."

"Leah, thank God," Jake muttered as he came over and gave me a hug. "How was the trip?"

"Can't complain."

"Where's Dylan?" Quil asked as he looked behind me.

"He got called out of town on business," I explained.

"Well, I'm really glad you made it," Jake stated. "Could you do me a favor? Will you check on Ness?"

I laughed. "Sure, though I'm pretty sure she's fine. She's only wanted to marry you for the past two years. Don't let Quil's evil ways convince you otherwise."

"Thanks Leah," Jake said in relief. I turned around and made my way into the house. Wrinkling my nose at the stench of vampire, which still bothered my senses, I made my way up the stairs, following the excited chatter. I arrived at a bedroom door and knocked.

"Come in," Alice said.

I opened the door and found all the Cullen women in the room along with Rachel Black-Wakeh and Rebecca Black-Cleary. Both were wearing matching bridesmaid dresses. Ness stood in the middle of it all looking serene. She had on a one shouldered wedding dress that flowed to the floor, quietly hiding her protruding pregnant belly. The shoulder strap was made up of large white lace flowers. Her long bronze hair was pinned up, a lacy Grecian headband entwined in her curls. She looked absolutely stunning.

"Oh Ness…" I said sentimentally. I was so proud of her in that moment. I was proud of the woman she had become.

"Don't you dare cry, Leah Clearwater," she warned as she came over and hugged me close. "Or I'll start too."

"And then you'll both be in trouble," Alice warned causing us to laugh.

"Well, you look beautiful," I told her. "You look a lot calmer than Jacob."

"Is he nervous?" Ness asked with a smile.

"When I arrived, Quil was telling him you ran away."

"Poor Jake," she said with a giggle.

I snickered. "I think the pity should go to Quil. Jacob looked close to decking him when I left."

"Then we should get this show on the road," Alice instructed. Ness reached for my hand and held me back as Rosalie, Alice, Esme, Bella, and the Black twins left.

"I should have asked you to be my maid of honor," she said apologetically. "More than anything, Jake and I wanted to elope, but you know how Aunt Alice is. So we decided to keep it as small as possible. I couldn't leave Jake's sisters out of it—"

"Oh Ness," I said, giving her another hug. "Don't worry about it. Besides, when it's my turn, you can bet your sweet ass that I'm dressing you up in the scariest bridesmaid dress ever invented. You'll be wearing pink…I'm talkin' Pepto Bismol pink."

Renesmee laughed and said, "Can't wait."

There was a knock on the door and Edward poked his head in. His face turned emotional as he looked at his daughter in her wedding finery.

"I'll leave you two alone," I said. Nodding at Edward, but giving him space so I didn't have to rub shoulders with the bloodsucker, I made my way outside and quickly found my mom, Seth, and Charlie. My mom kissed my cheek.

"Did you see Nessie and Jacob yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just saw them," I replied. Jake, Quil, and Embry made their way to the altar area, and music began to play. Rachel and Rebecca drifted down the aisle, and then Ness came out. As soon as Jacob saw her, his face transformed into one of sheer reverence.

Ness looked radiant as she came up the aisle. As the ceremony started, I found myself playing with my engagement ring. I missed Dylan like crazy and wanted him there. As I listened to the words of the ceremony, I began to imagine the day I'd be exchanging my vows with the man I loved. I was almost giddy for my wedding day. I was also petrified, but I refused to let my fear get the better of me.

Jake and Renesmee were soon announced husband and wife. After an overzealous kiss was exchanged between them, they walked back down the aisle, followed by Rebecca and Embry, and Rachel and Quil. My forehead furrowed in concern as I watched Embry. He looked ill. I hoped he wasn't getting sick.

We made our way to the area set up for the reception. After dinner was served, music began to play. Ness and Jacob danced in each other's arms, completely lost in their own world. To my amusement, as soon as they returned to their seats, little Nate Uley went over to them. He glued himself to Nessie's side, occasionally speaking to her pregnant belly.

Looking around, I saw Will Samson approach me, looking nervous and sweet. He had grown up since I last saw him, his face matured. He was handsome in an unconventional sort of way. He also had a seriousness in his eyes that I knew he always had, but I'd somehow missed before. My mind thought back to what I knew of Will. His mother had abandoned him when he was a kid and his father was an abusive alcoholic who'd driven himself into an early grave a few years ago. From what Emily had told me, Will was now living on his own and had a job doing carpet installation.

"Would you like to dance?" Will asked, holding himself rigid as though he expected me to say no. I couldn't blame him. The last time we'd seen each other, I had been awful to him.

Feeling guilty, I slowly nodded. "Sure. Why not."

A smile broke out onto his face and he held out a hand. We made our way to the dance floor as a slow song came on. He spun me and even dipped me once, which caused me to laugh. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he brought me in close. Neither of us spoke as we swayed to the music. It was weird being this close to a wolf now. Aside from when I phased in front of Dylan, I hadn't been a wolf in years. I was physically different now, my body just above the normal human temperature. Being so close to Will, it felt like I was dancing with a furnace.

"Are you happy in Seattle?" he asked as we moved.

"Yeah, I am," I replied. "My former roommate and I are getting close to opening up our own spa."

"That's great," he said enthusiastically. "I'm really glad for you."

"What about you?" I asked.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Are you happy?"

"I guess so," Will said with a frown.

"Emily said you have a job installing carpets. Do you enjoy it?"

Will shrugged. "It's all right."

"But is it really what you want to do?"

He pulled back a little so that he could look at me. Giving me a half smile, he said, "Not really."

"What do you want to do then?"

He looked away and moved so that his mouth was near my temple. "Oh, I don't know."

"Sure you do," I said confidently. "What do you want out of life, Will?"

"I…um…"

"You're a smart guy. You can be anything and do anything you want," I said, so blissfully happy in my life with Dylan that I wanted others to experience what I had.

"Leah…"

"I mean, you could go to school. Or you're young. You could go out and explore the world…"

"Leah, I know what I want."

"Oh yeah? What?" I asked expectantly.

He hesitated before whispering in my ear, "You."

I felt like I'd been doused in water. I immediately stepped away from Will to stare into his face. He was looking back at me, looking vulnerable and…in love. Dammit!

"Will…" I started to say, but he interrupted.

"I know you said I was too young before, but I've grown up now, Leah. And…I love you. I never stopped loving you. I've been in love with you for years. I've waited for you to come back."

"Will, I—"

"I know that you've been involved with someone for awhile, but he's not your imprint. You were worried about me imprinting on someone and leaving you. But if you'll take a chance with that guy, can't you give me a chance too?"

"Will…I love Dylan," I said, feeling my heart ache for the hurt I was about to cause him. "I'm going to marry him. It's a done deal."

"What?" he asked, his arms dropping from my waist.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I don't want to hurt you. But Will, I'm not the one for you. You deserve so much better than me—"

"Yeah," he scoffed. "Sure."

He started to turn away but I grabbed his arm. "Will, wait."

When he didn't look my way, I cupped his cheek and made him look at me. "Someday, you're going to find someone who thinks the world of you. And you'll feel the exact same way about that person. Do you understand?"

He stiffened, but slowly nodded. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Be happy, Will."

He closed his eyes and took a step away. Not looking at me, he said, "Goodbye Leah."

With a heavy heart, I watched him walk towards the side of the house and disappear around the corner. Cursing myself silently, I went back to my table where Seth was now sitting. I sat down, feeling angry with myself.

"What's up?" he questioned.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"Did you…imprint?" he asked hesitantly.

"No, I just unintentionally fucked with Will again," I finally said.

"Oh…" he replied. "Well, I don't know if this helps, but there are two other wolves in the room that have it worse than you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He nodded to Sam and Emily's table. Sam was angry about something. Nate was now sitting in his lap, and Sam was whispering something in his ear. Emily was nervously glancing from Sam to Ryan Spencer, one of the wolves who had phased around the time Will had, right before the Volturi visit years go. Ryan and his family moved away from La Push a while ago, but Ryan had just turned eighteen and decided to move back to the area. As I inspected him closer, I noticed that he was staring at my god-daughter, looking absolutely enraptured.

"No way!" I exclaimed.

"Yep," Seth said. "Ryan imprinted on Gracie. I hope Sam's urge to kill him for imprinting on his three-year-old won't last long. It's going to be uncomfortable for Sam's pack to patrol with those two in the meantime."

"Once Sam remembers what it's like to imprint, I'm sure he'll be fine," I replied dryly. "Are Sam and Ryan the two wolves you were talking about?"

Seth instantly sobered. "No. Embry imprinted too."

I felt my eyes go wide. "So who's the lucky girl?"

"Rebecca Black. Apparently, he imprinted last night at the rehearsal."

"Wait," I said. "Rebecca, as in Jacob's married sister, Rebecca?"

"That's the one."

My eyes instantly flew to Embry who was sitting a few tables away. He still looked ill. As though against his will, he kept looking across the reception area at Rebecca. She was currently sitting on her husband's lap, kissing him. My stomach instantly twisted for my pack brother's pain.

"What's he going to do?" I whispered.

"What can he do?" Seth answered.

I suddenly felt like invisible walls were closing in on me. If I didn't get out of there soon, I was going to hyperventilate. I stood up hurriedly. Seth looked at me with inquiring eyes.

"I think I'm going to head for the house," I told him.

"Okay," he said. "You have your keys, right?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "See you later."

I went over to Ness and Jacob and gave them a brief hug goodbye, before I practically ran for my car. Once I got inside, I gripped the steering wheel tight and took a few deep breaths. As I loosened my fingers, my engagement ring flashed from the lights that were strung to the trees outside.

_Please,_ I silently prayed. _Please don't let that happen to me._

I slowly made my way back to my family home. As I walked inside, I kicked off my shoes and curled up on the couch. My cell phone began to ring and I quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"It's me," Dylan said. My eyes prickled with tears. He was exactly who I needed to hear right now.

"Hey! You got there okay, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied tiredly. "How was the wedding?"

"Beautiful, of course," I replied before saying hesitantly, "two wolves imprinted."

Dylan didn't say anything at first, before I finally heard a quiet, "Oh?"

"Not me," I quickly assured him.

"Jesus, Leah, you know how to give a man a heart attack."

"Sorry," I said. "One of them imprinted on a married woman though and—"

"Leah, don't freak out," Dylan interrupted calmly. "Take a deep breath."

I did as I was told. He continued speaking. "They imprinted. Not you. I want you to say the following: Just because others imprint doesn't mean I will."

"Just because others imprint doesn't mean I will," I repeated with a smile.

"And my boyfriend is so hot that no other guys can compare," Dylan stated jokingly.

"And my boyfriend is way too damned hot for me to even pay attention to any other guys," I said laughingly. "Plus, he's sexy and his body is to die for."

"I like your version better," he said with a chuckle. "Though I knew you were only into me for my body."

"Of course," I replied lightly. "I'm not interested in you for your brains. Duh."

"I feel so used," he replied.

"Not yet, but I promise you will once you get home," I told him, my voice going seductive.

Dylan groaned in response. "I can't wait. I love you, Leah."

"I love you…so much."

"Night sweetheart."

"Good night," I told him and we hung up.

Sighing, I got up from the couch and got ready for bed, feeling calmer now that I got to speak to Dylan. I fell into a restless sleep on my twin-sized childhood bed. The next morning, I woke up feeling slightly ill. My head ached and my back hurt. Taking a long shower, I went downstairs and found my mom, Charlie, and Seth in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Hey," my mom said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Are you headed back or are you going to spend the weekend with us?"

"I've got to head back today," I said as I bit into a piece of toast. "Whitney has some property she wants us to look at this evening."

My mom did a sentimental sniff. "My babies are business owners."

"Speaking of," I said to Seth. "How's the store?"

"Profits are up," Seth replied with a grin. "I'll be sending you a quarterly statement in January."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I can see how the shareholders would be concerned…all three of us."

We talked for a little bit more, before I announced I had to leave.

"Already?" my mom said in disappointment.

"Yeah, I need to stop by Emily and Sam's before I head out. I won't be back for Nate's birthday, and I have a present for him."

I got up and hugged everyone goodbye—I was pretty proud when Charlie and I awkwardly embraced and I didn't flinch—and then I was on my way. My pain in my lower region was getting worse as I drove. I knew I was going to need to ask Emily for some painkillers before I headed back to Seattle. I parked my car outside their house and headed inside. Emily was in the kitchen, humming to herself as she whipped up some batter.

"Hi," I said as I walked in carrying the present.

"Leah, hey," Emily said as she came over and hugged me. "I'm making muffins. Will you be able to stick around long enough for them to bake?"

"No, I've got to get going," I said as I hugged her back. "I just wanted to give Nate his birthday present and then I'm on my way."

"He's in the living room with Sam," Emily said as she poured the mix into a muffin pan. I nodded and walked into the other room.

Sam was sitting in his favorite chair. His hands were clutching the armrests and his jaw was clenched. Outside, I heard Gracie squealing. Every time she did, Sam's fingers tightened on the chair.

"I think the chair is dead, Sam," I said dryly. He jumped at my voice, so completely lost in thought that he didn't even hear me.

"Oh…hi Leah," he greeted me uncomfortably.

"Hi," I replied.

I looked over at the couch and saw Nate playing with a video game, his small face scrunched in concentration. I couldn't believe that he was going to be six soon…or that it had been that long since I retired from the wolf pack. I heard another giggling scream outside and moved so that I could peek out the window. Ryan was currently chasing Gracie around the yard, moving slow enough that he always just missed catching her. I had to admit though; the kid was quick. She wouldn't be four for a few months still, but she was a fast little fucker.

"Will came to see me this morning," Sam said from his chair.

"Oh?" I tried to sound casual.

"He said he was retiring from the pack effective immediately. As we speak, he's on a bus headed for Los Angeles."

"I'm sorry, Sam," I said guiltily as I turned to face him.

"I'm not," he replied. "I appreciate you being so direct with him. I think he's going to be fine."

"Nate," Emily said, walking into the room. "Leah came here to see you."

Nate pulled his head up from his game, looking surprised to even see me there. "Hi Aunt Leah."

"Hey kid," I said, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Listen, I can't be here for your birthday, but while I was in town I thought I'd give you your present."

His eyes widened in excitement as I handed him his gift. He tore into it and made a whooping noise when he saw it was a new video game for his player. He leaned over and gave me a big hug. My heart ached a little as it always did when I was around little kids. I'd never have the experience of being a mother myself. It hurt…especially as I found someone as wonderful as Dylan.

"Your Uncle Dylan picked it out," I told Nate as I kissed his head.

"Thank you," he murmured. "It's exactly what I wanted. Tell Uncle Dylan thanks, too."

"I will," I promised.

Nate opened his game and immediately began playing it. Emily sat on the arm of Sam's chair and he wrapped his arm around her. I found it amazing that gestures like that—which used to drive me insane—had absolutely no effect on me. Emily began chatting happily about rez activity, but Sam still looked tense.

"Jesus, Sam," I said in a low voice. "Get over it already. So Gracie has an imprint. Big deal. It's not like he's the first, remember?"

Sam's jaw tightened. "I'm not upset that Ryan imprinted on her. How could I be when I know the benefits…?"

He trailed off and looked at me worriedly, as if he'd offended me, but I merely lifted an eyebrow at him. He continued, "It's just that Gracie is my little girl and…"

Emily picked up his hand and patted it. "He's struggling with the fact that his baby has already found her soul mate, and that she'll someday grow up, get married, and have S-E-X."

She spelled the last word out so Nate wouldn't pick up on it, but he was so lost in his game, I seriously doubted he'd hear a bomb going off in the same room.

"Well, she's got a few years still before she'll even begin to start thinking about dating," I reminded him.

Sam ran a hand through his hair. "Is it so wrong for me to want her to grow up and live in a convent?"

"Yes," Emily and I said in unison and we all laughed. It felt good, being able to be so casual with these two people.

We talked for a little while more. Gracie and Ryan eventually came inside. As soon as she saw me, Gracie made a beeline in my direction. I held her in my lap as I continued to chat with Sam, Emily, and Ryan, rubbing my chin against her soft hair. She eventually started squirming, subconsciously needing to reconnect with her imprinter. I let her go and she settled on Ryan's lap, drifting off to sleep. A buzzer in the other room told us that Emily's muffins were done. I hadn't realized that time had flown so quickly.

"I need to get going," I said as I followed Emily into the kitchen. "I've been fighting with a headache since I got up though. Do you have something I can take?"

"Sure," Emily said. She disappeared into the downstairs bathroom and came back out with a couple of pills. Swallowing them down gratefully, I made my way into the bathroom, deciding I better use it before I got on the road.

As I sat on the toilet, the pain in my lower half made me wince. I really hoped the pills would kick in soon. I grabbed some toilet paper, wiped, and then froze. I turned and looked inside the toilet bowl in amazement.

"No fucking way," I whispered. The pain in my lower half argued otherwise.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had gotten my period. I hadn't had one in years…not once since becoming a wolf. I fumbled in shock as I began searching Emily's cupboards, grateful when I found a feminine product. Once I got myself situated, I washed my hands and went back in the kitchen.

"Hey Em," I said lowly as she wrapped up some muffins for me to take. "I hope you don't mind, but I grabbed one of your tampons."

"Sure," she replied absently and then went still. Her gaze flew to mine, her eyes going wide. "Leah Clearwater…are you telling me that you got your period?"

"Announce it to the world, why don't ya?" I grumbled.

She shrieked and ran over to me, giving me a huge hug. We both started laughing and bouncing in circles. Sam and Ryan came into the kitchen with bemused expressions on their faces.

"I didn't think women liked having their periods," Ryan muttered to Sam, having overheard Emily's statement.

A half smile tugged on Sam's face as he took in my excitement. "This one does."

Clasping Ryan on the back, which startled the younger man, he added, "Come on, let's go watch SportsCenter or something masculine."

Emily and I laughed as they left. She cupped my cheeks and whispered, "Do you know what this means?"

"Yeah." I giggled. "It means I'm going to have to clear off a shelf at home for all the tampons and pads I'm going to have to buy."

"Oh Leah…it means a lot more than that," Emily said as moisture filled her eyes. "I think the chances of you having kids just improved big time."

I felt tears form in my own eyes as I fought back the emotion that was trying to surface. Never in my life did I ever think I'd be grateful to get something as annoying as a period.

Until now.

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LOL, sorry if this chapter was TMI, but I couldn't not write the return of Leah's period. It would have been too important a moment in her life to ignore. Anyhow, pictures of Renesmee's dress, hair, and Leah's dress are in my photobucket account under the album, "Story Extras." The link is on my profile page. As soon as I have a sneak peek for the next chapter ready, I'll post it on my twitter account. The link is also on my profile.

**Please take a moment to review! I'd love to know if people are still reading this story after such a long break.**


	18. Gordon

**Author's Note** – I'm so sorry again for the long delay in updating this story. I tried writing this chapter a couple of times, but I had a terrible case of writer's block.

On a different note, I wanted to let you know that I've contributed a story for the _Fandom Fights Tsunami_ event, which will raise money for the people devastated by Japan's March earthquake. A couple of chapters ago, it was mentioned in this story that Renesmee ran away from home after she found out Jacob tried to kill her when she was a baby. I wrote a one shot about that time in their relationship. It's over 12,000 words, which is about three chapters worth of background information. I also added a couple of twists. If you'd like to read it, there are details on my profile page about the event. I also know there's another fundraiser called the _Fandom For Storms_ currently taking place. They're trying to raise money for the people affected by the tornadoes that recently hit the southern states. I'm unable to contribute a story for this, but if you're a writer or reader, please consider donating your time or money to this cause. Thanks everyone!

**Story Recap** – Leah and Dylan got engaged, but decided to wait a year before they got married. In the meantime, Jacob and Renesmee got married and are expecting twins. While at the Black wedding, Leah ran into Will Samson, the guy she once slept with. He confessed that he still loved her, but she let him know that her heart belonged to Dylan. Will decided to leave Sam's pack and head for Los Angeles. While visiting Emily and Sam, Leah got her period for the first time in years. She took it as a hopeful sign that she'd be able to have children.

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**Chapter Prologue**

When a girl is little, she dreams of meeting a prince. When she becomes a teenager, she dreams of a big lavish wedding, planning it in vivid detail. And when she's an adult—if she's lucky—all her dreams come true.

I've had amazing moments in my life. The day I met Dylan and my life changed for the better in the space of a heartbeat. The day I told him my period had returned and his response was to kiss me gently, silently acknowledging that children were now a possibility for us. The day my children were born. The day I found out about my other brother…well, that took some getting used to, but upon reflection I still count it as a good moment.

But what really stands out in my mind is my wedding day. It was the day I officially began my new family. I stopped being Leah Clearwater—former has-been. And instead I became Leah Clearwater-Gordon, wife of the most incredible man ever created. We became a unit that day, one that could never and _was_ never separated again.

Remarkably, there was very little drama that day. I mean, it was a wolf wedding. Both packs showed up, but luckily no imprinting occurred.

But there was definitely nervousness in the air. I couldn't fight back my usual worries. I was afraid that I'd walk down the aisle and meet the eyes of some witness and I'd imprint right in front of Dylan and everyone.

But as I entered the room where the ceremony took place and met _his_ eyes…he was all that I saw…my Dylan…

**Chapter 18 - Gordon**

"I think I'm going to be sick," I stated as Jared's wife, Kim, applied my makeup in the hotel room that I was getting ready in.

"Take a deep breath," Rachel Black-Wakeh instructed as Emily worked on my hair. I did as I was told and took several breaths, trying to calm my nervous stomach.

"Just think about Dylan and how wowed he'll be when he sees you," Ness added. Kim's almost six-year-old daughter, Hayley, was next to her on the couch they were sitting on, her tiny little hand pressed to Renesmee's burgeoning pregnant belly.

"You're not about to go into labor, are you?" I asked.

Ness laughed. "No. Grandfather figures I still have about a month to go."

I smiled as I looked at the women in the room. Almost all the original imprintees were there to support me. We were missing Quil's young imprint, Claire, who was at her parent's house in Makeh. And there were other imprints. Some of the wolves who'd phased around the time of the Volturi visit had imprinted over the years. But the women in this room had been my friends since I'd been a wolf. We had bonded over bonfires, pack picnics, and vampire death threats.

"Hair's done," Emily announced in satisfaction.

"Now the dress," Rachel said, grabbing my wedding gown where it hung on the back of the door. The dress was the frilliest gown I could find. It was strapless and hugged my breasts at the top. It had a jeweled belt and from the waist down it was nothing but mesh. Best part…the gown was all pink.

The bridesmaids were wearing pink strapless dresses that went down to their knees. Organizing the wedding party had been a hassle. I had wanted Whitney as a bridesmaid. The problem was figuring who to partner my best friend with. After all, she had slept with half the groomsmen—Seth, and Dylan's best friend Miguel. I was worried about having all three in the wedding party. The last time they'd seen one another, Miguel had dumped Whitney then walked in on her having sex with Seth when he'd come back for a second chance. But Dylan had assured me that Miguel would be on his best behavior.

Emily was going to be my maid-of-honor. She was partnered up with Dylan's best man, his brother Kyle. Dylan's sister Tracy was going to walking with Seth. Renesmee with Miguel. And Whitney with Jacob. I glanced over at my god-daughter Gracie who was hanging onto Emily's hand, looking bored. She was serving as my flower girl.

Just as Rachel was about to hand me my gown, Whitney poked her head in the room. "You about ready?"

"Almost," I said as I took off my robe and stepped into the dress.

We had decided to get married at the Courtyard Marriot in Seattle. It was the site of Dylan's and my first date when we had listened to music playing in the nearby park from the rooftop. Getting married at the hotel had been Dylan's idea. He said it was practical. Our guests would have an easy place to crash after the reception. But I also overheard him telling his brother that the hotel had special meaning for us.

Rachel zipped my dress up and I grabbed my bouquet from a nearby table. It was a delicate mix of pink lilies, pink roses, and white hydrangeas. Dylan had requested the lilies since he said they reminded him of me.

"Where's my mom?" I asked. My mother was going to walk me up the aisle.

"She should be here any second," Whitney said, coming over to me with tears in her eyes. "Oh Leah, you look gorgeous."

"Don't cry. If you cry, I'll cry, and then I will quite possibly kill you," I jokingly threatened. "No way am I going to have red eyes for my wedding pictures."

"Sorry," Whitney said with a sniff. "It's just…I've known Dylan for so long. And if there is anyone who deserves to be happy it's that guy. Thank you for giving him that."

I blinked back tears and gave my best friend a hug. Pulling away from her, I said, "Okay, enough of this sentimental sh-mush." I stopped myself from swearing just in time, remembering little Gracie's presence.

Going over to the door, I peeked my head out to see if I could locate my mom. The room I was getting dressed in opened up onto the lobby. Sam, Jared, and Paul were standing nearby talking while their children sat at their feet. Nate was entertaining himself with one of his handheld video games…I hoped Sam remembered to take that away from him when the wedding started. Jared's twin daughter, Hanna, was playing pattycake with Paul's three-year-old son Devlin. Devlin seemed more fascinated with Hanna than the game. He kept giving her big toothy grins. He looked so much like Paul it was uncanny. Thank goodness he seemed to have inherited Rachel's disposition instead of Paul's. Sam straightened when he saw me and excused himself from the other two before walking over to me.

I turned around and said, "I'll be right back" to the girls inside the room, stepping out and closing the door behind me. I lifted an eyebrow as Sam stopped a few feet away from me.

"You look great, Leah," he said.

"Thanks," I replied indifferently. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to wish you congratulations," he said, his forehead furrowing. "I know things were shitty between us for a long time. Leah, I never meant to hurt you—"

"Sam, we don't need to get into this. Especially not right now."

"I know," he agreed with a slight nod. "I just…all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy." He gave me a half smile which would have affected me before, but now only left me cold. He continued, "As soon as I met Dylan, I knew he was the right guy for you. And I wanted to tell you that I'm glad you found the guy you were always meant to be with."

Over the years, I was sometimes reminded why I used to love Sam so much. This was one of those moments. He was a good man who imprinted on the right person. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew he loved me. He just loved and needed Emily more. We'd always care for each other though, even if we could never be friends like we once were. But it felt good that we were finally at this level of understanding.

"Thank you, Sam," I said and then I hugged him.

He kissed my temple in a platonic gesture and whispered, "Be happy," before he let me go to return to his son. I turned and went back in the room I'd been getting ready in, a smile on my face.

"You didn't even look at yourself in the mirror," Emily said as soon as she saw me.

"Oh right," I replied, going over to the large mirror in the room.

I stopped and stared at my reflection. Kim had put a shimmering powder over my face that made my skin glow. My eyes were emphasized with white eyeshadow, bringing out the brown in them. My hair was pinned into a loose up-do and held in place with a crystal floral headband. I looked exactly like I wanted…glamorous and ultra feminine.

"Thank you," I whispered to the girls just as there was a knock on the door.

My mom entered the room with Dylan's sister, Tracy. My mother stopped as soon as she saw me. Her face turned emotional as she said, "Oh baby."

"Please not you too," I said with a laugh.

She walked over to me and gave me a hug. Her whispered, "your father would be so proud of you" almost made me bawl, but I stopped myself in time. She stepped back and squeezed my arm. "It's almost time."

Rachel and Kim gave me a hug before leaving, Kim dragging her daughter with her. Nessie grabbed something small out of a bag near her feet. She stood up from the bed and straightened the dress over her baby bump. "We still have to do the traditional, something new, something old, something borrowed, something blue," she said.

Tracy handed me a package. "This is something new. It's from Dylan."

I placed my bouquet, which I was still holding, on the nearby table and opened up my gift. It was a Tiffany & Co box. I opened the lid and gasped at what I saw. Dylan had given me a pair of teardrop-shape earrings set in platinum. Inside each teardrop was a pink diamond that matched my engagement ring.

"They're beautiful," I whispered. Taking the earrings out of the box, I put them on my ears.

"My turn," my mom said. She handed me a lace handkerchief with the word _kwoli _stitched intricately into the fabric. The word meant "wolf" in Quileute. The legend of the wolf warriors had always been so important to my people. Even though it was a part of my past and something I wanted to forget, I felt myself turning emotional just the same. The handkerchief was given to my mom on her wedding day from my Grandma Clearwater. It had been passed down for several generations now.

"Great-great-grandma's handkerchief," I murmured.

"Which takes care of something old," my mom replied. I sniffed and put the cloth gently next to my wedding bouquet.

"Here's something borrowed," Renesmee said, shifting something in her hand. "It's Grandmother Esme's. When I told her the color of your dress, she insisted I let you borrow this. I had it professionally cleaned so it'd sparkle for the occasion."

She said this while glancing at Whitney and Tracy. I knew she was subtly trying to say that she had it cleaned so it wouldn't stink like leech. She handed me a diamond necklace that looked like it had come straight out of the early 1900s. The diamonds formed multiple jeweled flowers, each one connected by a diamond latch. Inside each flower was a pink stone. I had a feeling they were diamonds as well. I knew everything about the necklace was real.

"Holy sh-crap, Ness," I said. "I can't wear this. The Queen doesn't own jewelry this nice."

"You have to. I'm pregnant and emotional. You wouldn't want to reject my offer in my current delicate state, would you? Didn't think so," she said as she took the necklace out of my hands and put it around my neck. I felt nervous just wearing it.

"Which brings us to something blue," Whitney said, wiggling her eyebrows. She moved over to the couch and placed her leg on it. Her dress skirt hiked up slightly, revealing a blue garter. She took it off her leg and handed it to me. The garter was made of blue silk. Attached to the side of it was a heart shaped jewel. I handed the garter to Emily and she helped me step into it. Once it was in place, I hugged each one of them.

"Thank you so much for everything," I said.

There was a knock on the door and I heard Seth say, "It's time."

Everyone filed out of the room until it was just my brother, mother, and me. My stomach was filled with sudden nerves.

"Everything okay?" Seth asked.

"Yes," I replied shakily. "Let's get this show on the road."

Seth came over and hugged me. "Love you, Lee."

"Love you too, brat," I told him. He gave me a slight squeeze on the arm and left to join Dylan and the other groomsmen.

My mom walked over to me and cupped both of my cheeks in her palms. "Leah, if I haven't ever said this to you before, I want you to know how proud I am of the woman you've become. You're the strongest person I know and everyday I'm thankful that you're my daughter. I love you very much."

I swallowed over the lump forming in my throat and said, "I love you, too, Mom."

We hugged each other and she whispered, "Now it's time for you to go begin the rest of your life."

I nodded and went over to the table to grab my handkerchief and bouquet. Taking a deep breath, I said, "I'm ready."

I laced my free arm through my mom's and we left the room and headed down the hall. I could hear a cello playing in the distance. My lips quirked into a smile. One of the members in Sam's pack, Azra Langley, was an excellent cellist. He received a lot of crap from the guys when he first became a wolf, but he was so talented—not to mention a tough son of a bitch who would and had kicked several of his fellow wolves' asses—that eventually the rest of the pack left him alone.

The bridal party was waiting for me outside the room we were getting married in. Emily saw me approaching and poked her head inside the door, waving her arm around. Azra stopped playing for a second before the soft sound of Con Te Partiro—Time To Say Goodbye—began to fill the air. I had chosen that piece for two reasons. One, it had been one of my dad's favorites and I wanted to play it in honor of him. And two, I thought it was fitting. I was ready to say goodbye to my past and begin my future.

Gracie and Dylan's little cousin who was serving as our pageboy entered the room first. Whitney entered next, then Renesmee. Emily turned and hugged me before she also went through the doorway. I knew this day was in some way a relief to her. She had always said she could never be truly happy until she knew I was.

Finally, it was my turn. My mom patted my hand and we walked inside the room. My heart ached momentarily as I thought of my dad. He should have been there to walk me down the aisle. But I was thankful for my mom's presence.

As I moved, I kept my gaze on the pink runner in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw members of both Jacob and Sam's pack, but I didn't look up. I was too terrified.

_Please don't let me imprint, please don't let me imprint,_ I began to chant.

My hands began to tremble with nerves and I took a deep breath to steady myself. As I did so, I looked up and my eyes connected with Dylan's. Everything around me faded away. He was so handsome, I almost lost my step. But the way Dylan was staring at me had my heart racing. He was looking at with me with a mix of love, awe, and tenderness. My confidence shot through the roof and in that moment, I instantly calmed.

When I finally reached him, he grabbed my hand. He whispered, "You're beautiful."

"So are you," I replied softly. I handed my bouquet and handkerchief to Emily before turning back to my fiancé. We grinned at each other and faced the officiate.

The ceremony was sweet and simple. We decided to take the traditional route and use the same vows that had been spoken for generations. When Dylan slid my wedding band on my finger, he lifted my hand up to his mouth and kissed the ring. We were soon pronounced husband and wife, and Dylan was told he could kiss his bride. His hand cupped my neck as he brought me to him. I closed my eyes as his lips met mine.

To my surprise, there was something almost urgent to the pressure he applied to my mouth. When he pulled back, my eyes flew open. He was staring at me with an expression I didn't understand before he turned to face the witnesses. I followed his example and plastered a bright smile on my face as I turned toward the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mrs. and Mr. Dylan Gordon," the officiate said. The crowd erupted in cheers. I went to take my bouquet from Emily and barely had time to grab it before Dylan's hand clasped my elbow and hurried me down the aisle.

As we burst through the door and into the lobby, I said, "Where's the fire?"

He was breathing heavily as though he'd just run a marathon. I turned to him in alarm. "What's wrong?"

He looked at me blankly and then wrapped his arms around me, burying his face into my neck.

"Don't leave me," he murmured against my skin. "Don't ever leave me, Leah."

I felt tears form in my eyes. I realized that while I was thinking of my dad's absence earlier, Dylan was still being haunted by his dead fiancée, Anna.

"I can't promise you that," I told him, my heart breaking. "I wish I could, Dylan. But if I imprint—"

"Just pretend…_please_," he whispered and I slowly nodded.

"I'll never leave you," I said and silently prayed that I could keep that promise.

I felt his lips brush the sensitive area of my neck and my pulse shot through the roof. Unfortunately, the wedding party and our guests began to form around us and we reluctantly broke apart as we accepted congratulations from our friends and family.

We made our way over to the room our reception was being held in. I kept a careful eye on Dylan throughout the festivities. He was smiling and laughing, but I could still sense the nervous fear coming from him. Finally fed up, I placed my hand on his thigh and gently squeezed until he looked at me.

"You know what the wonderful thing about falling in love with someone like me is?" I asked.

His lips formed into a ghost of a smile. "What's that?"

"I'm a badass," I told him with a grin. "I don't break easily. Whatever happens to us in the future, an accident won't separate me from you."

I leaned over and kissed him lightly before pulling back. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip and said, "Do you remember what you said to me the day you proposed?"

"Hmm?" he said, his eyes on my lips.

"You said, 'I'd rather have a few minutes of happiness with you than a lifetime without anything at all.' Let's just live in today and not worry about anything else."

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. "When did you get so smart, huh?"

"I'm a fucking genius, Dylan," I told him. "You're just now realizing my brilliance."

He chuckled before his eyebrows drew together. He kissed me again and said, "Love you…" His lips brushed mine once more. "…so much."

"I love you," I whispered back.

"Hey now," my brother said, interrupting us. "Save it for the honeymoon."

"You just wait until it's your turn," I grumbled, reluctantly moving away from my husband.

"No way! I'm not falling into that trap," Seth said with a wink. "Speaking of, it's time for the first dance."

Dylan and I got up from the table and went onto the dance floor, waiting for our song to start. We had chosen _The Beatles_, "Here Comes the Sun." It wasn't exactly romantic, but it fit the theme of our wedding. The darkness of the past was behind us. We had nothing but warmth, light, and bright skies ahead.

Dylan spun me around the dance floor until I was in tears from laughing. The rest of the wedding guests soon joined us. I noticed that Miguel kept giving my brother threatening looks, but Seth had chosen to ignore him. He was too busy flirting with some girl he'd just met.

Over the next few hours, we danced until it was time for Dylan and I to leave. We were going to New York for our honeymoon. Dylan had promised to show me all his favorite places since I had never been there before. I left his side briefly to change into my travel clothes. When I was all set, I met Dylan and we ran outside and got into our taxi.

And over the next week, Dylan made my honeymoon more magical than I could have ever dreamed. We'd occasionally travel out of our hotel room. He took me to see a Broadway play, and he indulged me in an all day shopping trip to some of New York's most famous stores. Since retiring from the pack, I had slowly taken more of an interest in my appearance. By the time we left New York, I had to buy an extra suitcase for all my new clothes. We also did the typical tourist thing and walked through Central Park and visited the Statue of Liberty.

But mostly we stayed in our hotel room, making love, laughing, and falling in love all over again.

xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx

I started a blog a couple of months ago that has all of my fan fic information on it. Pictures of Leah's wedding details can be found under the "Fic Weddings" tab. I also had a twist about Dylan I was going to put in this chapter, but I ended up taking it out. I'll post that on the blog sometime in the next couple of days if you want to check it out. The link to the blog is on my profile. Please review!


	19. Whitlee

Story Recap – Leah and Dylan got married before they went off on a honeymoon to New York. Renesmee and Jake were also expecting twins.

* * *

**Chapter Prologue**

The time after my honeymoon was probably one of the busiest, most hectic periods of my life. Whitney and I had been working towards opening up our own spa for years. And a few months after my wedding, we went ahead with our plans.

I'm proud to say we did it almost completely on our own, too. Whitney came from money. Her father was rich as well as her husband. And Seth had also invested his money well over the years. So we could have easily gotten a loan from our pick of relatives.

But instead, Whitney and I each invested our own money. It was a risk, but it wasn't like we were going to be exactly hurting if the business failed (which thank goodness, it didn't). We were equal shareowners, taking forty percent of the business a piece. Whitney's father invested another ten percent as did Seth.

I managed the accounts with my brother's help, and our business flourished. Whitney's connections played a large part in that. We catered to the elite, charged astronomical prices, and we reaped the profits.

Opening the spa was an amazing achievement in my life. But it wasn't the only event I faced during that time. Three months after the honeymoon, I woke up one morning with a serious case of heartburn. Little did I know what it would lead to…

**Chapter 19 – Whitlee**

I rolled over in bed and hugged Dylan's pillow to me, breathing in his intoxicating scent. He had left early that morning for another business trip. He was headed for Sweden this time and would be gone for a couple of weeks. I was meeting with Whitney in a little bit, and then I was headed to La Push for the weekend. I hadn't had a chance yet to see Jacob and Ness's twins, so I was going to visit him and get caught up with my mom and Seth while I was there.

As I sat up, my stomach suddenly rolled and I groaned in protest. I really should _not_ have had those cheesy enchiladas the night before. I slowly got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, grabbing some Tums out of the medicine cabinet and chewing them gratefully.

When my stomach started to settle, I hopped in the shower. Whitney and I were going to decide on a name for our spa today, come hell or high water. We'd been going back and forth on it for awhile now, but seeing as we planned to open in six months, we needed to get things figured out.

After getting ready for the day, I got in my car and pointed it towards Seattle's finest neighborhood. I never thought it would be possible for Whitney to meet someone richer than her, but Brandon Kramer and his family had more money than most of the people in Seattle combined.

You'd think he'd be the world's biggest prick. Aside from the cash, he was absolutely gorgeous. He was of biracial descendent with bluish-green eyes that popped against his darker skin. He dressed in designer clothes and drove a Bentley. But he was also one of the sweetest guys I'd ever met.

I reached Whitney's house and pulled into their gated driveway. After showing my face to the security camera, the black iron gates opened and I drove up to their home. Brandon was coming out as I pulled up.

"Hey Lee," he said as I got out of my car. "You and Whit finally going to pick a name today?"

"That's the plan," I answered.

Brandon let out a snort. "Well, good luck."

He got into his car and gave me a wave as he took off. I walked over to the house and knocked on the door. Their housekeeper, Mrs. Ward, opened it a few seconds later.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Gordon," she said and I smiled brightly. Being called that was something I was still getting used to—and it never failed to make me grin like an idiot. "Mrs. Kramer is in the theater room."

"Thanks, Mrs. W," I replied. I headed down a long marble hallway and entered the room. Everything in here was as deluxe as the rest of the house. One wall was occupied by a large projector screen. The high-end surround-sound had a tendency to shake the lights and could make you deaf within an hour, but the plush theater seats made up for the hearing loss.

"Hey Whit—" I started to say as I approached her, but was met with a "Shh!"

I looked at the screen and rolled my eyes. Whitney was obsessed with the show _Glee_. She owned all the show's DVDs, which she watched repeatedly. Though I loathed to admit it, she had gotten me hooked on it for awhile when we were living together.

I sat down next to her and grabbed some popcorn off the table in front of us. I glanced up at the screen and shook my head. The scene she was watching was familiar…because she'd watched it so many freaking times we both had it memorized.

The character Blaine was currently speaking. _Kurt, there comes a moment when you say to yourself…oh, there you are, I've been looking for you forever…_

I found myself mouthing the words along with the dialogue until I snapped myself out of it. Looking at the table, I noticed a pad of paper with a list of names for our spa on it. Grabbing it, I examined what Whitney had come up with so far.

_Whitney & Leah's…Chez Spa…The Pleasure Spot…_

"The Pleasure Spot? Seriously?" I said.

"That was Brandon's and shh!"

When music began to play and one of the other characters started singing, Whitney sat back with a contented sigh.

"Oh my Klainer heart…I love that scene."

I smirked. "Yes, I know."

"So…names…" she said, muting the TV, but keeping her eye on the action. She suddenly sat up. "That's it!"

"What's it?"

"All great couples have ship names, right? Kurt and Blaine are known as Klaine. Rachel and Finn are known as Finchel—"

"I thought you said Finchel was the devil incarnate—"

"The point is…people remember ship names," Whitney said. "Remember Brangelina and Bennifer?"

Her face was thoughtful, before she suddenly shouted, "Whitlee! We'll call the spa Whitlee after both of us."

She took the paper out of my hand and grabbed a pencil off the table and wrote out _Whitlee's Boutique & Spa_.

"What do you think?" Whitney asked eagerly.

"I think…" I said, excitement building. "I think it's freaking brilliant."

"Oh my God, we have so much to do," she said, flipping over the pad of paper and writing out a list. "We've got to get our sign designed and ordered, and invites for the grand opening sent out and—"

"You remember I'm heading back to La Push today," I reminded her.

"Oh right," she said distractedly. "Well, I'll meet with Kally and see if we can come up with a design." Kally was a mutual friend of ours who did interior design as well as graphic art. We had hired her to help design the look of the spa. Whitney looked down at the list with a frown. "You'll have access to the Internet, right?"

"Yep, you can email me whatever you come up with," I answered.

We spent the next couple of hours working until I finally made a motion to leave. "I have to head out. My plane leaves in a couple of hours."

"Okay," Whitney said before hugging me with a little squeal. "I'm so excited."

"Me too." I laughed.

I left for home, changed into some comfortable travel clothes, and grabbed my suitcase. After making my way to the airport and catching my flight to Port Angeles, I rented a car and headed for Forks, calling Jacob on my way.

"Hey Jake, it's Leah," I said when I got his voicemail. "I'm in town and wanted to stop by to see the little monsters so give me a call when you get this."

I frowned as I continued my drive. He knew I was coming in this weekend. I hoped he hadn't forgotten. My mom and I were going to spend the following day with each other, and I knew Seth would be busy at the supply store. At a loss as to where to go, I decided to stop by Emily's house and see her. Plus, the girl always stocked up on supplies for injured wolves and my stomach was killing me again.

I parked outside her house and knocked on the front door. Sam opened it up, looking at me in surprise.

"Leah, hey. What are you doing here?"

"I'm in town to see Jake's kids so I thought I'd stop by for a quick visit," I explained, feeling uncomfortable. Though Sam and I had made our peace, being around each other was just awkward.

"Emily had to do some errands, but she should be back any second. Do you want to come in and wait for her? I'm sure you're probably exhausted after your trip. Did you drive or fly?"

"I flew," I said. I was about to decline his offer when my stomach acted up again, sending a burning sensation up my esophagus. I rubbed that area with a wince.

"You okay?" he asked in concern.

"Just heartburn."

"Well, you're welcome to come in. I've got some antacids if you want some."

I slowly nodded and walked inside. It was strange being alone with Sam like this. I don't think we'd ever been truly alone since our breakup. Even that time he chewed me out in the woods over Will Samson, Jake had been nearby.

"The kids aren't here?" I asked, straining to hear them.

"Ryan took Gracie and Nate to see some kid movie," he replied, looking amused. "I wish him the best with that. Nate will stay still and watch the whole thing. Gracie's a holy terror in theaters."

Sam went into the kitchen and reached inside one of the cupboards. He pulled out some Tums and handed me the bottle. I took a couple and chewed them slowly, but my stomach didn't want to settle down.

I hoped I hadn't caught anything. Maybe my stomach was just out of whack from the stress of getting the spa ready. I sat down at the kitchen table, feeling queasy.

Sam looked at me with a frown. "You want something else? Toast? I know that usually helps the kids when they're sick."

"I think just a piece of bread would work. Maybe it'll soak up some of that extra acid rolling around in my stomach."

"Sure," Sam said as he reached for the bread on the nearby counter and handed me a slice. "You want anything with it?"

"No," I replied and bit into the bread gratefully.

"I take it Dylan's out of town again?" he remarked as he sat at the table.

"Yeah, he's on his way to Sweden."

"You should have told us you were coming," Sam stated. "I know Emily would have been here waiting for you if she'd known."

I shrugged. "I didn't realize I was going to have time to visit or I would have."

I saw him frown as he looked at me closely. "You look really pale. Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really," I replied.

"How long have you been feeling this way?" he asked as he leaned closer to me. I stiffened in response.

"I don't know, the last couple of weeks, I guess. But my stomach only really started killing me today. I think it was something I ate last night combined with stress. Whitney and I are getting ready to open our spa. Maybe I'm getting an ulcer or something."

"Emily told me about your business. Congratulations."

"Thanks," I said, before finishing off my bread.

He reached for my arm suddenly and ran his fingers over the surface of my skin. I jerked in surprise.

"Hey Leah…" he said, his fingers clasping mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked cautiously as he brought my hand to his mouth. To my surprise, he flipped my palm up and sniffed my wrist before a little smile appeared on his face.

"I think I know what's wrong with you."

"What?" I asked, slightly weirded out.

"Any chance you're pregnant?"

I froze. My periods were so irregular I never knew when they were going to hit. I could go a few of months before getting one.

"What makes you ask that?" I questioned cautiously.

"Your natural scent is a little off. Emily was the same way when she was pregnant. You normally have a lily-like scent to your skin. But there's another smell there now…something floral."

My vision blurred and I had to blink back tears. "I…I might be pregnant?"

He brought my arm back to his face and gave it another sniff. "I'd bet money on it."

"Am I interrupting something?" a voice said.

We both looked over and saw Emily standing in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. Sam immediately dropped my hand and jumped out of his chair like it had suddenly caught fire.

"Hey Em," he said. "Look who stopped by."

"So I see," Emily replied, eyeing her husband's face with amusement. "And did I see it right, or were you sniffing Leah's skin?"

"He thinks I might be pregnant," I told her and Emily's face erupted into a huge grin.

"Really?" she shrieked.

"Apparently. I didn't even consider that I might be until Sam said something."

"Let's go to the supply store and get you a pregnancy test right now!" Emily ordered, coming over to me and grabbing my hand. She practically dragged me out of my chair. Stopping by Sam so she could give him a quick kiss, which let him know she wasn't mad at him, Emily led me outside and we got into her car.

"What you saw in the kitchen…you know that was nothing, right?" I said as we drove.

Emily snorted. "Of course it was nothing. I trust Sam. And I know you love your Dylan. I wasn't worried. But Sam's face was priceless. Those poor wolves…always panicking or overanalyzing our reactions."

She smiled at me and we began talking about the spa. We soon arrived at the supply store and walked in to find Seth reading a book behind the counter. He quickly came over to me as soon as he saw me and gave me a hug.

"Leah, I thought you were going to Jake's before you came to La Push."

"He wasn't home when I called," I explained.

"He probably took Ness and the kids out hunting," Seth replied. "So what brings you into the store? You here to help me out?"

"She needs a pregnancy test," Emily announced and Seth's eyes went wide.

"Hand please," he demanded.

I lifted it to him and like Sam, he sniffed my wrist. "Holy shit, Leah! I'm gonna be an uncle."

I pulled my hand away and went over to the drug aisle. I grabbed a pregnancy test off the shelf and made my way to the employee bathroom.

"I'll be back in a little bit," I told them.

I went into the bathroom and followed the directions to a tee. As I waited for the results, I tried not to let myself get too hopeful. I wanted it to come back positive. I wanted that more than anything. To go from thinking I'd never be able to have children to facing the actual possibility that I might be pregnant was too surreal. A part of me was afraid fate was fucking with me again like it had so many times before.

After the allotted time, I took a deep breath and looked at the test. My stomach twisted as I stared at the results. I checked the back of the box and then the test again to confirm what I was seeing. In a daze, I stumbled out of the bathroom and went back into the store. Seth was leaning against the counter talking to Emily when I reappeared.

He straightened when he saw me. "Well?"

"I…" I couldn't speak for a second so I cleared my throat and said in a shaky voice, "I'm pregnant. Seth, I'm pregnant."

He flew over to me and picked me up, whirling me in a circle as Emily started jumping up and down.

"Put me down, you fool, before you make me throw up," I said with a laugh.

He immediately set me on the ground before he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the drug aisle.

"What are you going to need…diapers?"

Emily snickered. "I don't think she's going to need those for another eight months or so."

I felt like my head was in the clouds as I turned to her. "What do I do now?"

She came over and hugged me. "Go to your doctor. He or she can confirm it and put you on a proper vitamin regiment. But if two wolves think you smell differently and the home pregnancy test is positive…this is really happening for you, Leah."

"I can't believe it," I murmured. My hands went down to my flat stomach in amazement. There was a life in there. A smile slowly started to form on my lips. "I can not freaking wait to tell Dylan."

"How are you going to do it?" Seth asked. "Over the phone? You should do it now. I want to hear his reaction."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not telling him over the phone. I'm going to plan it out. He'll be back in a couple of weeks so this will give me plenty of time to think about it."

Just then my phone rang. I half expected it to be Dylan since we were talking about him, but I saw Jacob's name flash across the caller ID and I answered the call.

"Hey," Jacob said. "Sorry, I missed your call earlier. We were out in the woods. Where are you?"

"I'm in La Push at the supply store with Seth and Emily," I told him.

"Well, we're here if you want to stop by."

"Sure," I said. "I'll be there in a few."

We ended our conversation and I told the others I needed to get going. After giving Seth a goodbye hug, Emily and I headed back to her house. We made plans to meet up again before I went home to Seattle, and then I was on my way to the Cullen home. It didn't take me long before I was pulling up to the big white house in the forest. As soon as I stepped out of my car, my extra sense of smell kicked in. The stench of leech was all over the place, and my stomach rolled in protest.

I touched my stomach and whispered, "I understand, baby. I can't stand their stink either."

I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Esme Cullen answered. "Leah, how good to see you again."

She reached out to touch my arm and that was it. The bread I ate earlier came hurdling up my throat and I ran off the porch to puke in a nearby bush. As I wretched, I felt sturdy arms go around my waist to keep me from face planting into the soiled ground. I could smell Ness's familiar juniper scent around me which eased my stomach. Once I was done being ill, I turned and buried my face in her neck, breathing in her fragrant skin.

"I don't think I can be here," I muttered.

"Are you sick?" she asked, her hand running comfortingly over my hair.

"According to two wolves and a home test, I'm pregnant."

Ness's hand stilled. "Seriously?"

"Mmhmm…and you know I love you and everything, but your relatives reek. They're making me queasy."

"Can you walk about thirty feet?" she asked.

"I think so. I just need to get away from here."

"Come on," she said.

She wrapped her arm around my waist and we went around the side of the house, heading for the backyard. When we were near the stream that was on the property, I told her the smell wasn't as bad. She left me long enough to grab a wrought iron chair from the back porch and bring it over for me to sit on. Once I got situated, Ness leaned over and hugged me.

"Oh Leah, I'm so excited for you."

"Thanks…I still have to get it confirmed though."

She shook her head. "Wolves are better than any pregnancy test."

Just as she spoke, Jacob came out of the house with two babies in his arms. He was also holding a can of Pepsi. Ness went over and took their little boy. Though the children were only a few of months old, they looked closer to six months. Their son was a miniature of Jacob only his skin tone was more like his mother's. But he had Jake's dark eyes and dimpled chin. The girl was just as gorgeous with dark hair that glinted with red highlights and astonishing emerald green eyes.

"Wow, where'd she inherit those from?" I murmured and both twins focused on me with uncanny fascination.

"My dad had green eyes before he was turned," Ness explained as she rested her chin against her son's head. "You'd think she would of inherited brown eyes, but our kids are uniquely their own."

"That's true," I said. "It's not everyday you come across wolf/vampire hybrids."

Jacob handed me the Pepsi. "Esme said you were sick so I figured this might settle your stomach." I took a sip of it gratefully and washed away the awful taste in my mouth.

He looked at his kids and said, "Gabe, Meena, this is your Aunt Leah. Leah, meet my kids."

He was so proud as he made his introductions, caressing Meena's hair lovingly. She started to squirm and reach for me. Jake lifted an eyebrow and I nodded my head, setting the soda on the ground beside me. He came over and placed Meena in my arms before excusing himself to get a couple more chairs. I breathed in her baby fresh scent and found that she also smelled a little like wildflowers. She took the rancid smell of vampires out of my nose and my stomach settled completely.

Jake came back and placed a chair next to Ness. As soon as she sat down with Gabe on her lap, he kissed her head before sitting down in the other chair. He looked at me with a frown and asked, "So what upset your stomach? You have gas or something?"

"No, half-wit," I replied as Ness glared at her husband. "I think I'm pregnant."

Jake's eyebrows shot up as he came over and sniffed the area around me. A smile lit his face before he sat back down. "Yep…you're pregnant. Damn, imagine that. And to think about how you used to go into your long, torturous inner dialogues when you were in the pack about how you'd never have kids…"

"I'm sure that was a hard time for you," Ness said to me sympathetically.

"What are you talking about?" Jake questioned. "The pack was the one that suffered. I never want to be in a woman's head again."

Renesmee's eyes narrowed as she reached over and touched Jacob's face. Whatever message she silently sent him made him look instantly remorseful.

"I'm sorry, babe," he stated, kissing her palm. "You know I love your gift, especially when we're—"

"Yeah, please don't finish that sentence," I said as I snuggled Meena close. She looked at me and smiled brightly before her little hand reached out and touched my neck.

Something strange came over me. I felt like I had suddenly been dunked underwater without getting wet. Sound was muffled and everything around me got slightly blurry. I saw something crawling on the ground towards me and realized it was Gabe. He used my leg to prop himself up on his wobbly little legs and then he touched Meena. They both started giggling and the weird effect stopped. Ness and Jacob came over to me with concern written all over their faces.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," Ness said. "We should have warned you. Meena's a shield. She can make people invisible. Gabe's the only one who can find her when she does that."

Jacob looked at me with an amused expression. "You want me to take her from you now?"

"Sure, okay," I responded shakily, and he came over and cuddled his daughter close. Gabe was still clinging to my knees and looking at me expectantly. I couldn't resist and I picked him up. "And what's your trick, little man?"

"We're still discovering, but we think he has a gift sort of like Nessie's," Jake explained. "You know how she can put her thoughts into our heads through touch? We think Gabe has a gift like that, but he doesn't need to do it through physical contact. Sometimes strange pictures pop into our heads whenever he's looking at us. Like around feeding time, a picture of his bottle will persistently enter our minds and won't let up until he eats."

Gabe was looking at me with an awestruck expression. He patted my cheek with his little cherub hand and said, "Pwetty."

I knew I shouldn't have been shocked that the twins were already able to form words—Ness had been able to speak sentences at their age—but I was surprised nonetheless.

Still, I said, "Thank you."

He giggled and placed his face against my shoulder. He buried his little nose against me and breathed deeply before making a contented sigh. I held him tight and rocked him back and forth as Jake, Ness, and I got caught up. Gabe's little eyes slowly closed and he was soon fast asleep.

I felt my heart melt. By the end of the year, I was going to have one of these of my own. I still couldn't believe it. When the cool air started to seep into my skin, I decided it was time to go. I made sure to kiss and hug each twin in turn, and then said my goodbyes to Ness and Jake.

Jacob walked me to my car. "If you need anything—anything at all—you make sure to call Ness or me. We'll be there for you as soon as we can."

I stopped and looked at him. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, Jake."

He smiled sheepishly. "You're my beta and you'll always _be_ my beta. It's my job to worry about you."

I leaned in and gave him a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied before pulling away. "Hey, make sure you call and let us know what Dylan says. I'll bet he'll freak out."

I smiled confidently. "Not my Dylan. Dylan's a fucking rock."

I waved goodbye and got in my car. As soon as I was off the property, I rolled down the windows and let the fresh air take away the remaining scent of bloodsucker. Though I was going to spend the night at my old house where Seth was currently living, I decided to stop by Charlie Swan's house first and see my mom. She was surprised to see me when she answered the door.

"Leah, hi," she said as she hugged me. "I thought we were going to get together tomorrow."

"I just wanted to know what you thought about becoming a grandma."

"Well, I sort of think of Ness as—" She froze as she looked at me. A hopeful expression appeared on her face. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant," I announced. "I just need to confirm it with the doctor."

My mom's eyes turned misty before she hugged me again. "Oh baby. I wish your father was here to share this day."

I sniffed and then we were both crying. Charlie came hurrying to the front door, looking panicked. "What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing," my mom said as she gave him a reassuring kiss on the cheek. "We're just being female."

"I'm pregnant," I told him.

"Oh hey...that's a….that's great," he said, awkward as always.

My mom shook her head and we went over to her couch and got caught up. I received an angry call from Whitney while I was there, asking if I'd checked my email about the logo design for our business. When I told her my news, she squealed and said it could wait.

I spent the rest of the weekend with my family, had a relaxing, wonderful time, and then I was headed back to Seattle. I made an appointment with my doctor as soon as I got home. He confirmed my condition a week later. He estimated that I was approximately five weeks along. Though I'd talked to Dylan a few times on the phone since he'd gone on his business trip, I hadn't brought up the pregnancy. I wanted to see his face when I told him the news.

On the day Dylan was supposed to come home, I decided to plan an elaborate dinner for him. I was going to make chicken using the same batter recipe my dad had used when he use to make his homemade fish fry. I got a bottle of Dylan's favorite wine for him and spent hours preparing the side dishes and making sure the table was set just right.

I had it all planned in my head. I was going to serve him his dinner, ask him to pour the wine, and when he offered me a glass—which he always did—I'd politely refuse and tell him I was drinking for two now. I couldn't wait!

I received a call from Dylan while I was preparing the chicken. He had just landed in New York and wouldn't be home for a few more hours. Once I had the meal cooking, I went and took a shower. I made sure to put my hair up and did my makeup to perfection. The final piece to my ensemble was a long sleeved black dress that hugged my body and I paired it with black stiletto heels. I went back in the kitchen and set the food on the stove where it would keep warm until Dylan got home. When I heard the front door open, I sauntered out into the hallway and assumed a sexy pose.

Dylan's familiar face came through the doorframe and before he could even say he was home, I was running towards him. He dropped the suitcase he was holding and pulled me to him, kissing my mouth until I was breathless. Shutting the door behind him, he lifted me off my feet and held me against him.

He gave me a half smile that made my heart skip as he said, "I take it you missed me."

"You have no idea," I murmured.

His eyebrows rose as he noticed what I was wearing. He put me back on my feet and looked at me from head to toe, blinking several times.

"Wow, you look fantastic. What's the occas—?"

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out and then cursed myself.

Dylan's mouth dropped open. "Come again?"

"Dammit!" I cursed before turning away from him. "This wasn't how I had it planned. I meant to give you dinner first. I've been planning this all week and now I just fucked it up—"

Dylan grabbed my arm and spun me so I was facing him again. "You're pregnant?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"A baby," he murmured, his hand going to my stomach. For a second, I thought I saw tears brighten his eyes, but he kept his head down. "Lee, I don't care how you told me. This is the best homecoming I could have ever asked for."

He moved his hands so they clasped my cheeks and he leaned his forehead against mine. "Thank you for this."

"Thank you for knocking me up," I replied and he chuckled.

"Yeah…you know it's been two weeks. I kind of forgot how we did that."

"Is that a fact?" I said. "Well then, maybe I should remind you…" And grabbing him by his shirt, I led him into our bedroom.

We ended up ordering pizza that night. By the time we remembered the dinner I had prepared, the food had gone to waste.

* * *

**End Note:** My goal is to wrap this story up this summer. Not much more to go, but I'm giving my full attention to my other story right now. Thanks everyone who is still reading this. Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	20. Lilly

**Chapter Prologue**

I love my children. Each one of them is a blessing.

Henry, my middle child, inherited his father's brain and his Uncle Seth's business sense. Following in his dad's footsteps, he went into the computer business and made some wise investments. By the time he reached thirty, he was already a millionaire.

Then there's my sweet, sensitive, youngest child, Julian. When he was eighteen, he spent a summer in La Push helping his Grandma Sue with the _Clearwater Supply Store_. While he was on the rez, he met Taurin Elwah, the son of my former fellow wolf, Rafe. The two fell in love and they now run the supply store together, happily married with two children they created with the help of a surrogate.

I adore my boys. No mother could be prouder. But I have always been incredibly close to my daughter Lilly.

She's a lot like me. Strong. Willful. Stubborn.

She also inherited the best of Dylan. She has his determination. His intelligence.

But Lilly is a pale version of me except for her eyes. Those are a shade darker than Dylan's beautiful blue. But like me, she's always taken the role of being the oldest child seriously. She's three years older than Henry, nine years older than Julian. She's very much the mother hen and has always looked after her brothers like I used to with Seth. When Julian first came out in high school and was bullied for it, Lilly went after the kid who caused him the most problems.

I think she's overly protective because I was the entire time I was pregnant with her. I worried about every little bump and move she made while inside me. Life wasn't known for treating me kindly and I was so afraid something would happen to her. I mean, I had Dylan. Whitney and I had opened up our spa during my pregnancy with great success. Things were going too good for me. That's usually when shit hit the fan. And despite Dylan's assurances that everything would be fine, I was still a nervous wreck.

Dylan, of course, was a fucking rock the entire time I was pregnant. He went with me to every doctor's appointment, attended the baby shower Whitney and Emily threw me, and even helped decorate the baby's room. When we found out we were going to have a girl, he had tears in his eyes, and we spent the rest of the day discussing names.

It wasn't until I held Lilly in my arms for the first time that I relaxed. I also started to wonder if my unlucky streak was finally over. And then I got hit with some news…

**Chapter 20 - Lilly**

I was doing the spa's accounts when Whitney came into my office and plopped down in the chair in front of my desk. I rubbed my side with a wince. I wasn't due for another week, but damn my body ached.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine. What's up?"

"I have some news," she said.

"I already told you we don't have space for a tanning area."

"No, it's not that—though if we bought the property next to us we could do it."

I rolled my eyes. "Whitney, we've only been in business for two months. Maybe we should see if we can keep these profits going for a little bit longer before we consider expanding."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered before she said, "So do you want to hear my news or not?"

"Sorry, what did you want to say?"

"I'm pregnant."

I dropped the pencil I was holding in surprise. "You? I thought you said children were smelly abominations whose sole purpose was to drive adults insane?"

"Yeah…well. You and Dylan have been so freaking cute about the baby, I thought maybe I'd try to get pregnant and bam…it happened."

I raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that with a baby you can't have the maid take it for walks like you do the dog, right?"

"Yes, Ms. Cynical, I do realize what I'm getting into."

I smiled. "Then I'm happy for you. How'd Brandon take the news?"

"He's over the moon about it."

"He'll make a good dad."

Whitney beamed. "Yes, he will. So did you and Dylan decide on a name yet?"

"We're still debating," With a straight face, I added, "I'm sticking with Moonflower Doodlebear. Dylan wants something more traditional like Ursula Beulah."

"Jesus…I can already predict lots of therapist bills in your child's future with names like that."

Another pain shot down the side of my body causing me to wince.

"What?" Whitney asked, carefully observing me.

"Nothing. Just uncomfortable."

"Yeah? And how frequent has this discomfort been happening?"

"I don't know. Every fifteen minutes or so the last few hours."

Whitney shot up to her feet with a look of panic. "Leah, you're in labor."

"No," I said. "I'm not due for another week."

"Um, explain that to the kid after she gets here."

"But…" I stopped speaking as I thought about the pain I'd been in. Taking a deep breath, I said, "I think you might be right."

Whitney's eyes widened. "What do I do? Should I get you to the hospital? Call an ambulance?"

"Calm the fuck down," I said sternly. Picking up my phone, I called home. Dylan had told his employer he was going to have to work local for the next few weeks so he could be around when I had the baby. When I heard his voice, I told him, "Hi. Can you meet me at the hospital? I'm in labor."

"Are you there now?" Dylan asked. I heard commotion, a loud bang, and then Dylan swore loudly in my ear.

"You okay there, babe?" I questioned in an amused tone.

"Sorry…yeah. I just tripped over my chair."

I shook my head. I was surrounded by neurotics. Eyeing my best friend, I said, "I'm at work, but Whitney's going to drive me to the hospital."

Whitney instantly paled. She whispered, "I'm not good with this kind of thing."

I looked at her incredulously. "Umm…you do realize you'll be going through the exact same thing in nine months, right?"

"Shit," she muttered before she left my office.

"I'll meet you there," I told Dylan and hung up. More pain sliced through me.

Whitney walked back in with her purse and keys. "Let's go before I have to deliver the kid."

"Good idea. I don't want you anywhere near my vagina," I grumbled as I got to my feet. She wrapped her arm around me and tried to drag me across the office.

"I can freaking walk, you know."

"Sorry," she replied, dropping her arm. "I'm just trying to help."

"Just get me there."

As we walked out into the marble hallway, Whitney shouted to the girl behind the front desk, "Maxinne, you're in charge until I get back."

"Yes, Mrs. Kramer," she said, her eyes going wide when she realized what was going on. "Good luck, Mrs. Gordon."

"Thanks," I muttered.

We walked outside and got into Whitney's Porsche. I barely squeezed into the front seat.

"What are you going to do with the car after you have the baby?" I asked as we drove. "It's hardly family appropriate."

Whitney looked aghast. "I'm not giving up Francine." She patted the dashboard before saying, "I'll get a second car. Something really cool. No station wagons for me."

"Ow," I muttered in pain.

The contractions were now steadily coming ten minutes apart. Whitney stepped on the gas and almost ran a red light.

"Whitney," I threatened. "If you get us into an accident, I'll kill you."

"Sorry."

My cell phone rang and I saw that it was Dylan. I quickly answered it.

"Hi, where are you?" he asked.

"About three blocks away."

"I called the doctor. She wanted to know how far apart your contractions were."

"About every ten minutes at this point."

"I'll let her know. I also called your mom. She, Seth, and Emily are going to catch the first flight to Seattle that they can get."

"Okay, thanks. You almost there?"

"Yeah, I just pulled into the parking lot. Tell Whitney to drop you off in the front. I'll meet you there."

"All right. See you in a few."

I hung up and relayed Dylan's instructions. I focused on the breathing I'd been taught in my Lamaze classes. I had decided to go the natural route. I figured I'd be able to tolerate the pain given that I was a wolf. But as I was hit with another contraction, I seriously started debating whether I wanted drugs or not.

We finally arrived at the hospital. Dylan was waiting for me with a staff member and a wheelchair. I smiled when I saw my husband. He had remembered the suitcase I had prepared a couple of weeks ago.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Gordon," the orderly said. "I'm going to be transporting you to the labor and delivery ward."

"Okay," I said, getting into the wheelchair. I looked at Whitney and asked, "You sticking around?"

She looked from the hospital door to my wheelchair and went pale again. "No…uh, no thanks. Just call me after baby Moonflower arrives, m'kay?"

"Ursula," Dylan muttered as we waved Whitney off. He picked up the back of my hand and kissed it. "How you doing, sweetheart?"

"Fine," I replied. "Ready for her to get here."

After I was checked in, I was taken to my room. A woman wearing a nurse's uniform came up to me with a big smile on her face. I looked at her cautiously. She looked like she was twelve.

"Hello, I'm Missy and I'm going to be your nurse throughout your delivery. Here's a gown we're going to need you to change into." She handed it to me. The fucking thing had yellow duckies on it.

"Are you serious with this?" I asked.

She beamed brightly at me. "Don't you want your baby to see something happy when he comes out?"

"She," Dylan corrected.

"Oh…do you have any names picked out?" Missy asked. Dylan and I looked at each other and grinned.

"We're still deciding," he said.

"Well, you have some time," Missy replied so cheerfully I fought the urge to punch her. "I'll leave you to get changed."

She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. I immediately shook my head.

"No way. Mary Poppins is not going to help bring my child into the world."

"Aww…but think of the positive energy she brings," Dylan said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Pain hit me again and I bent over with a hiss.

"Fuck positive," I gritted, breathing through the contraction. When it was over, I stripped and got into my gown. Dylan tied me up just as there was a knock on the door.

"How are we doing?" Missy asked as she came in with a bag of fluid.

"She had another contraction," Dylan stated as Missy inserted an IV into my arm.

"How far apart are they now?" she asked as she finished up and attached a monitor to my stomach.

"Every eight minutes or so," I answered.

"Good," she said as she walked over to a computer and made a note. "The monitor is going to let us know the frequency of your contractions. It'll also keep an eye on the baby's heartbeat. You've chosen natural childbirth?"

"Yes," I said, still questioning my sanity.

"Brave girl," the nurse muttered before she stated, "All right. Here's the remote." She handed me a controller attached to my bed. "That controls your TV and will allow you move your bed to whatever position feels comfortable for you. There's also a red button on it as well. If you need anything, press that button and I'll come in as soon as I can."

"Thanks," I replied and she left.

"What should we watch?" I asked.

"Your labor, your party," Dylan said as he sat in a chair next to me.

I flipped through the channels until I came across _Greatest Police Chases_. We watched that for the next half hour. My contracts remained consistently at eight minutes apart. Missy and my doctor came in a little awhile later.

"How's it going, Leah?" Dr. Aers asked.

"Fine. Not much has changed though."

"Hmm," she said as she checked the results on the monitor. "The contractions are steady which is good. They aren't slowing down. I want to take a look at you, all right?"

"Sure," I replied.

She had me put my legs up on the bed as she did the exam. Leaning away from me, she said, "You're currently at three centimeters so we have a little ways to go. You feel like walking around?"

"I guess," I answered.

"It's not a bad idea to move around right now. Missy will remove the monitor so you can take a walk."

She patted my leg and left. The nurse took the monitor off me and put my IV on a pole. Dylan and I took a stroll down the hallway. We passed the nursery which was in the middle of the floor and looked at the different babies through the window.

"Our baby's going to be in there soon, Leah," Dylan said emotionally. He smiled at me before leaning down and giving me a kiss. I wanted to enjoy it, but another contraction hit me so hard I gasped.

Their frequency began to increase to every five minutes. My body was beginning to ache so we decided to watch some more TV. As I got comfortable on my bed, Missy hooked the monitor back onto my stomach. For the next couple of hours nothing changed.

I was just shifting on my side, when the door to my room opened and my family walked in. Seth was holding several pink balloons and Emily had a big teddy bear in her arms.

"Hi baby," my mom said, giving me a watery smile. "How are you feeling?"

"It hurts like a motherfu—"

"Uh-uh," my mother interrupted. "You don't want the baby hearing that."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't finish my sentence. I held out my hand to Emily who instantly took it.

"Thank you so much for coming, Emily."

"Are you kidding? You were there for me when Nate was born. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Speaking of, where are the kids?"

Emily's scarred face turned to amusement as she said, "I left them with their father. It'll be good for Sam. I just hope Gracie doesn't give him a heart attack before I get home."

My family discussed their flight to Seattle and filled me in on the rez gossip. I couldn't get comfortable and my back was aching. Dylan seemed to know instinctively what was wrong because his hand began massaging my sore areas.

When I was six hours into my labor, the contractions increased as did the strength of their pain.

"Toughen up, Sis," Seth said as he chewed on some ice chips Missy brought in for me. "You're a wolf."

"How about this?" I snapped, "Why don't I rip your balls off and smack you in the face with them for awhile. Then we'll see how tough wolves are."

Before he could reply, the doctor and my nurse came in.

"If you'll excuse us," Dr. Aers said. "I want to do a quick exam."

"We'll be right outside, Leah," my mom said and I nodded. The doctor checked the monitor, a smile of satisfaction appearing on her face.

After checking my cervix, she said, "It's almost time. You're at ten centimeters now. Do you want anyone else in the room with you?"

I looked at Dylan and said, "Is it all right if my mom joins us?"

"It's fine," he said, kissing my forehead. Missy left and came back moments later with my mother. She and Dylan were given sterile cover ups which they put on before returning to my side. I was told to scoot to the end of my bed and put my feet up.

"All right, Leah," Dr. Aers said. "When I tell you to, I want you to push."

"Okay," I said, filled with nerves and fear.

Dylan picked up my hand and squeezed it. "You'll be fine."

I nodded and he grabbed one of my legs as my mom grabbed the other. The pain shifted and I felt an intense pressure in my lower half.

"Okay, push."

I did as instructed. It was like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of a hole the size of a ping-pong ball. I gripped the sheets next to me and heard them rip. The doctor told me to stop pushing and I did as I was told. Then it was back to pushing again. Stop…push. Stop…push. It never seemed to want to end and after awhile, I was completely exhausted.

"She's never coming out," I finally muttered. "Just shove her back in."

The doctor chuckled at that. "I can't do that. You're crowning now."

Dylan peeked down and turned green. "Oh God."

"Don't you fucking faint on me," I snapped just as another wave of pain hit me and I collapsed back against my bed.

"You're doing so good," my mom encouraged.

"The baby's head is out," Dr. Aers announced.

I suddenly felt a new burst of energy. It was almost done. My baby was almost here. Sitting back up, I began pushing again.

"Good job, Leah," the doctor said. "Keep pushing."

Taking a deep breath, I pushed until I was dizzy. And then I felt a strange release from my body. Missy moved with a suction device and seconds later the air was filled with the sound of a newborn cry.

"Say hello to your daughter," Dr. Aers said, placing my baby on my stomach. My hands instantly sought her. I wanted to look into her eyes, but the doctor was placing a clip on the umbilical cord.

"You want to do the honors, Papa?" she asked, handing Dylan a pair of scissors.

With shaking hands, he snipped the cord. Missy took the baby away and moved her over to a station where they did a quick evaluation of her. My eyes remained glued on my daughter the whole time as she was checked over. She was wrapped in a blanket and the nurse came back over to me with a smile on her face.

"Here's your beautiful baby. She's very healthy. Ten fingers and toes. Good coloring." As my daughter started crying again, the nurse laughed. "And a healthy set of lungs."

As she was placed in my arms, the baby quickly quieted. Her little forehead scrunched up as she stared at me and my heart melted.

"She's so beautiful," I murmured. She had a tiny amount of black hair on her head and from what I could see of her eyes, they were blue like Dylan's. "She's…she's both of us."

I laughed and smiled up at Dylan. I was surprised to see that he wasn't staring at our baby, but at me. Tears were silently streaming down his cheeks.

"_You're_ beautiful," he stated.

My free hand went self-consciously to my hair. "You're a liar. I'm a mess."

"I mean it," he insisted quietly. "You're beautiful, Leah. Never more so than right now."

I smiled tiredly at him before I asked, "What do you think of her?"

He ran his finger softly down the baby's cheek and I watched him fall in love with her like I did.

"She's a miracle," he finally said. "And amazing."

"What are you going to name her?" my mom asked.

"Lily," Dylan responded. When I looked at him in confusion, he smiled sheepishly. "You always remind me of lilies. I've come to really love and appreciate that flower."

Grinning at what a romantic sop my husband was turning into, I said, "Lilly with two L's though. She's already a natural standout. She needs something unique."

Dylan nodded and I looked at my mom. "Lilly Suzanne."

My mom sniffed sentimentally. "Thank you, baby."

"Thank you for being here, Mom," I said. "Say hello to your granddaughter."

She ran her hand lightly over my daughter's head and murmured a blessing in our language.

"Sorry," Missy said as she came over to us. "I need to do one final evaluation."

"I'll go tell Seth and Emily the news," my mother said, leaving the room as Missy took the baby. I shifted, feeling uncomfortable again.

"Leah, we still need to deliver the placenta," Dr Aers ordered. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like I did when I first went into labor."

"Mild contractions aren't uncommon. Go ahead and push."

After the afterbirth was out, Missy administered a painkiller in my IV. I was so completely worn out all I wanted to do was sleep, but Emily and Seth came back in with my mom. Lilly had been placed in a specialized bassinet next to my bed to keep her warm and my family oohed and ahhed over her.

After a half hour of visiting, Emily said, "I bet you want us to get out of here so you can sleep."

I laughed tiredly. "A little bit, yeah."

"We still need to check into the hotel," Seth said, leaning over and hugging me. "We'll come back tonight."

"Thanks guys," I said.

Missy came in as they were leaving. "How would you like to take a shower?"

I debated between that and my tiredness. Since I felt kind of disgusting my need to get clean won out. Missy guided me into the bathroom and Dylan handed me my favorite shampoo and soap. There was a bench in the shower and I sat on it gratefully as I washed up. I was still bleeding from the birth so Missy left some pads in the bathroom with me. After I was done, I came back out to a freshly made bed.

"I know you're tired, Leah, but Lilly needs to eat," the nurse told me. "Are you planning on breast-feeding?"

I nodded and sat back on my bed. Missy showed me what needed to be done. At first, Lilly didn't want to take my breast. When she refused to feed after several attempts, I felt like the world's worst mother and a complete failure on top of that. But finally she latched on and ate hungrily. When she was finished and burped, Dylan took her. He sat in the chair next to me, cradling his daughter close. He was staring at her, completely entranced. It was that image I fell asleep to.

When I woke up several hours later, food was waiting for me and I ate hungrily. My wolf genes kicked in and my body's aching started to ease. Lilly also woke up hungry and I was able to feed her more easily this time around.

Over the next day, we had a steady stream of visitors from Dylan's family to my friends. When Lilly and I were released from the hospital, Dylan took us to the condo we had moved into when I was four months pregnant. It was bigger than our older one though it was located in the same area. Emily, Seth, and my mom stayed in Seattle for a couple of days, helping me around the house.

But finally, it was just Dylan, Lilly, and me, enjoying our time together as a family. Dylan had been right. Every little thing Lilly did was a miracle. From her sleeping to her crying to her gummy little smiles…though we agreed we could have done with less pooping.

When she was two months old, Jacob called and said he and his family were going to be in the area, and he wanted to know if they could stop by, which of course I said yes to. When I heard a knock on my front door, I left Dylan and Lilly where they were playing on the floor to answer it.

I smiled widely when I saw the Blacks. Ness was holding Meena in her arms while carrying a small gift bag. Jacob held Gabe. The twins were just over a year old, but they looked closer to three now.

"Hi, come on in," I said as I stepped back.

Renesmee gave me a hug. "You look fantastic, Leah."

"Thanks," I replied. "I still haven't lost all the weight I gained when I was pregnant, but it's a work in progress."

"So where is the little whippersnapper?" Jake asked and I laughed.

"She's in the living room with Dylan," I said, waving them in that direction.

With a quick hello at Dylan, Ness sat on the floor next to Lilly, pulling Meena onto her lap. Jake set Gabe down on the ground and he laid down next to his mom, lying on his stomach with his side pressed against her leg.

Ness smiled tenderly as she stared at my little girl. "Oh Leah, Dylan, she's gorgeous."

"Does she talk?" Meena questioned in a distinct voice way too advanced for her age. Dylan looked at the little kid sitting across from him and then back at me in surprise. I just shrugged.

"Not yet, honey," Renesmee replied.

"Why not? We talk." Meena asked in confusion.

"I blame your Uncle Emmett for that," Jake muttered as he went over to the couch and sat down.

Ness shook her head at Jacob and explained to her daughter, "She'll talk someday, but she needs to get a little bigger first. Why don't you show Leah and Dylan what we brought for Lilly."

Meena's face turned eager as she reached into the gift bag next to them. She pulled out a little stuffed animal in the shape of a gray wolf. It was made of a soft material that was perfect for Lilly's age.

"Thank you," Dylan said. "She'll love it."

"Daddy said we had to get it so your baby would be Team Wolf someday," Meena stated.

"Did he now?" I said, giving Jacob a dirty look.

He stared back at me innocently. "What? It's better than being Team Vampire."

"Why?" Meena asked inquisitively.

"Your daddy's just joking," Renesmee said, giving her husband a dirty look. Meena looked from her parents to her twin who merely shrugged before he put his chin in his little hands.

"Well, anyway, Momma said it looked like you, Aunt Leah," Meena explained importantly. "So we had to get that particular toy."

She was so insistent in her explanation—as if she were trying to convince me to like it. I smiled at her and said, "Thank you, Meena. We all love it."

Gabe suddenly reached out to touch Lilly and I stiffened, worried that he'd use too much of his inhuman strength and hurt her. But his finger was gentle as he ran it over her cheek. Lilly, who had been drifting off to sleep, opened her eyes and gave him an indignant look as if to say, _why are you bothering me right now?_

Gabe giggled and said, "She smells nice."

"All babies do until they crap their diaper," Jacob replied.

Lilly followed the sound of his voice and glared at Jake as if she understood exactly what he was saying. Jacob laughed in response.

"I recognize that look. Damn Leah, she really is your kid," he joked. He leaned over and held out his finger to Lilly. She immediately latched onto it and cooed. Jacob smiled before his face turned serious and he looked back at me. "So we have some news."

"Okay," I said, my eyes focused on my daughter.

"We're moving."

That got my attention. "Moving? Where?"

"Carlisle got a job in Vermont so the family is going."

"What about the pack?"

"Well, there's really only Seth, Embry, and Quil now that you've retired. I've talked to them and they're going to be rejoining Sam's pack."

"But…how often will you be back?"

Both Jacob and Nessie's faces turned sad. Ness said, "We don't know."

I looked at the twins and then Lilly. Granted, I didn't see Jake and Ness as often as I should, but knowing that I could see them whenever I wanted was always a huge comfort to me. Over the years, they had become my second family and now I might never get to see them again.

"Hey," Ness said. "Nothing's really going to change. We'll still talk on Skype and through email."

"I guess," I said. "I just…I thought with the kids, we'd see each other more often."

"It's not like we're moving to Mars, Leah." Jake reminded me. "We're just moving across the country. And it probably won't be forever. We figure the twins should probably be teenagers by the time their ten. I'd like for them to be educated on the rez when they're old enough."

I nodded but still felt depressed by the idea. "So when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Jake stated.

"Tomorrow?" I squeaked.

"We're flying out first thing in the morning."

"Oh…" I said despondently. Jake came over and wrapped his arm around me.

"Hey, you're still my beta. I told you when you joined my pack that it was for life. I'll always have your back." He looked at Dylan and then Lilly. "Same goes for your family. If you ever need either me or Nessie, we're only a phone call away."

"I know." I nodded sadly.

"We're family," Jake stated before glancing at my daughter again. "All of us."

And so, for the next few hours I enjoyed whatever time I had left with my family. When it was time for them to leave, I hugged them goodbye as if our lives depended on it.

But as it turned out, Jacob was right. Some goodbyes weren't meant to be forever. And when the Blacks returned years later, they returned with a bang.

* * *

**End Note**

If you're reading Stormy, you know what happens when the Blacks return. ;)

LOL, and thanks to the people who were answering my questions about giving birth on Twitter. I've never had kids myself so hopefully I didn't botch this too bad. On another note, Stormy readers now know who the gay couple is in my saga. Julian and Taurin.

Leave me your thoughts!


	21. Embry

Part of this chapter is from my story, Forbidden Imprint. If you don't want Forbidden spoilers, you'll want to skip this. For those of you reading Stormy, this chapter happens a few days before the latest Stormy chapter takes place (should have probably posted this chapter first, sorry).

* * *

**Chapter Prologue**

Finding out that my father had an affair when I was a toddler was heartbreaking.

Finding out that Embry Call was the result of said affair was devastating.

The pack had always figured either Joshua Uley, Quil Ateara III, or Billy Black had to be Embry's dad because they were direct descendants of the last wolf pack. Wrong, wrong, wrong. No one ever pointed a finger at my dad despite the fact that he was the only one who had two kids who'd phased. (Obviously, I come from strong wolf stock.)

From what I'd gathered from Embry over the years, the affair had happened shortly after my mom and dad opened the _Clearwater Supply Store_. It didn't do well when it first started and tension grew in the marriage. It got to the point where my mom left my dad, taking me and moving back in with her parents.

That was right around the time Kathy Call moved down from the Makah rez. She was eighteen and looking for a job. My dad hired her and…well you get the idea. She got involved with my father, but when she demanded he leave my mother permanently, he refused and she took off. Shortly after she left, my mom returned and my parents made up.

I mean they _really_ made up. Seth was born about a year later. But eight months after Kathy had left, she returned, completely knocked up. She wanted my dad's help because her parents had kicked her out and she had no place else to turn. With my own mom pregnant with Seth at that point, my dad wasn't about to abandon her (and he wouldn't have even if she hadn't been pregnant…he loved her too much).

So Kathy and my father struck up a deal. He would provide her with enough money to raise Embry in La Push. In exchange, Kathy would keep her silence over who Embry's dad was. She also agreed to raise Embry on the rez so my father could watch him grow up…provided he have nothing to do with Embry. Apparently her reasoning was that he wouldn't be able to publicly acknowledge him without losing my mom, Seth, and me. And she didn't want a father in Embry's life who wasn't committed.

As far as I'm concerned, both their reasons for keeping quiet were complete and utter bullshit. For one thing, I think all the lies and deceit weighed heavily on my dad, which didn't help his heart problems. But Seth, Embry, and I missed out on so much of each others' lives—I mean, sure, we were in the pack together, but things could have been so different for us if we'd been raised as siblings. It took awhile for Seth and I to embrace Embry as our brother.

I was just thankful that I never saw him as anything more than a friend when we were in the pack together. Jesus…I shudder to think of how messed up we'd be if we had ever dated.

Now, up until the point I found out about Embry, things were going good in my life. My business was doing well. I had Dylan and Lilly and a few years later we had Henry. Whitney and I had decided to expand our business so Dylan, the kids, and I moved to Portland, Oregon and I headed up a second spa. A year later, Julian was born.

So yeah, I was happy. When Julian was around three, Embry and his wife Rebecca Black-Call had a baby girl, Maggie (the same Maggie that Will Samson imprinted on…I _really_ wish I hadn't slept with him). They were going to have a baptism for her and the pack decided to have a mini reunion that weekend. I figured it'd be a good time to visit since Dylan was going out of town on business so I took the kids and headed to the rez.

It was during that weekend my mom decided to spill our family's dirty little secret. What really sucked was I was already stressing about some problems I was having with Lilly. And then Seth told me he was engaged to Jared and Kim's daughter, Hayley. He figured Clearwaters didn't imprint. My mother had had to tell us the truth because Embry, a Clearwater, had imprinted on his wife.

And that's when shit _really_ hit the fan…

**Chapter 21 – Embry**

I was annoyed.

This morning was not going well. First off, Lilly had woken up crankier than normal…and that scared the shit out of me. She was twelve. I got that her attitude had a lot to do with her age. But that wasn't what concerned me.

A few months ago, a band of vampires had killed someone in Port Angeles. Emily and Sam's son Nate was now the pack Alpha, and he and the other wolves had chased the three bloodsuckers all the way down to Oregon. They managed to kill two of them. The third one escaped. But ever since then, Lilly had hit a freak growth spurt. Her body was becoming leaner, and though she was normally a very laidback person, her temper lately had been enough to try the patience of a saint. I was very worried that she was going to end up phasing.

That caused my heart to burn. I didn't want my daughter to go through the same turmoil I had gone through. I'd discussed it with Nate as well as Jake. Jacob and his family had moved back to Forks the year before. They'd been gone eleven years, but the twins, Gabe and Meena, had grown into young adults, and Jake had wanted them educated on the rez. The first time Nate met Meena, he imprinted on her and the two married shortly after they graduated high school.

Poor Nate. He was really dealing with a lot at the moment. He and Meena were in college, but I knew Meena was desperate to get pregnant before her body became immortal. Once that happened, she wouldn't be able to conceive. The pack was also dealing with a lot of drama. An imprint had died this summer and while the wolves were mourning the loss, a rash of new imprinting had broken out. Now, I was adding to Nate's burden.

He wanted to meet Lilly so he could see for himself whether she was going to phase or not. He also wanted to get to know her better in case she ended up joining his pack someday. I respected the hell out of the guy. He had Sam's build, but Emily's smarts. And damn if he wasn't powerful.

Nate was the most powerful Alpha I'd ever met, and that was saying something considering I had been in both Sam and Jacob's packs. But his imprint, Meena, was a venomous hybrid and he was essentially created to be with someone like her. Because of that, the imprint gods had blessed Nate with extra power, making him one of the strongest wolfs in our tribal history. I just hoped that when Nate met Lilly, he would tell me it was my imagination and there was no way my daughter was about to phase.

But aside from Lilly's moodiness, I was also annoyed with Seth. Our mother had called a family meeting at Embry Call's house this morning—I was still confused why we were meeting here—and while we were waiting outside the home for my mom to arrive, my stupid dipshit brother told me he was engaged to Hayley Becknell.

I didn't get what he saw in her. She was too young for one thing. She had just gotten out of high school five months ago. Jared and Kim also hated the fact that Seth had gotten involved with their daughter, which caused tension between the friends. And another problem I had with the whole engagement was that Hayley stuck to Seth like glue. He could hardly go anywhere without her clinging to him.

I think Seth was afraid. Though his body had been frozen for the past twenty years or so at the age of twenty-five, I think he was scared he'd be alone forever. Everyone from our old pack had someone. Jake had Ness. Quil had Claire. Embry had Rebecca. Even I had Dylan despite the fact that he wasn't my imprint. All of us had our lives and families.

But ever since our dad died and Sam dumped me for Emily, Seth had been searching. He'd lost two father figures right in a row. He wanted a family…something to fill the void that had been in his life for so long. Which is why I think he was rushing into this engagement with Hayley.

And of course the idiot had to tell me about the engagement right before this stupid family meeting my mom had insisted on. My mother finally arrived and we were welcomed into the house by Embry's oldest child, Luke. As I sat on Embry and Rebecca's loveseat, I wondered again why we were even there. Seth's engagement was none of Embry's damned business.

After we exchanged pleasantries and Luke was sent upstairs, my mother said to my brother, "Seth, why don't you share with Embry and Rebecca your news."

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal about this," Seth muttered from where he was standing. He rubbed at his neck as he said to Embry, "I asked Hayley to marry me."

"Jared's daughter?" Embry questioned. "Isn't she a little young?"

I smirked at that. Even Embry got it.

"No, she turned eighteen months ago. We've been dating for over a year now," Seth admitted before looking at our mother in annoyance. "I love her, Mom. Why can't you just be happy for us?"

"Because you could imprint," she insisted.

"We've been over this," Seth said, rolling his eyes. "Clearwaters don't imprint. I mean, I've been a wolf for years and I've never imprinted. Leah's never imprinted either—" I squirmed where I sat. I hated being reminded of that fact. "—it just doesn't happen for our family. And I don't know why we have to have this conversation in front of Rebecca and Embry anyway."

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about," our mom said weakly. I was put instantly on edge for some reason.

Embry was tense as well. He said, "Sue, you don't have to do this."

"I appreciate that, Embry," Mom returned. "But it's time. Way past, in fact."

"Would someone please explain what the hell is going on?" I snapped. I was beginning to get a horrible feeling in my stomach. I eyed Embry closely as the puzzle pieces started slowly coming together. _Oh God…no._

"You're wrong, Seth," our mother said in a choked voice. "Clearwaters _can_ imprint."

"What are you talking about?" Seth questioned.

"Shortly after Leah was born, your father and I had some problems. We had just started the store and things weren't going very well. In fact, we were fighting all the time. I had finally had enough and I left your father."

Fuck! I shook my head in denial. "Please tell me this isn't going where I think it is."

"Your father had an affair with Embry's mother," Mom said as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "Embry's your brother."

"No," I stated as I got up from the loveseat and began pacing. "Dad wouldn't do that."

"Did he love her?" Seth whispered.

Our mom slowly shook her head. "No, he loved me. The affair was pretty much over before it even began."

"Why didn't you tell us?" I demanded.

"I didn't find out until after your father died," she replied. "And then…I just didn't know _how_ to tell you."

"Oh my God," I said as a thought hit me. "I used to give the pack so much shit about who Embry's father could be and the whole friggin' time it was my own dad." I looked at Embry in anger and asked, "Did you know?"

"Quil Sr. told me right before he died," he responded, not meeting my eyes. I was starting to tremble in rage. Quil Sr. had died last year.

"You've known for over a year and you didn't think to tell us," I said scathingly.

"He was trying to protect your feelings," Rebecca spoke up.

"Protect us?" I remarked bitterly. "What a bunch of bullshit. We had a right to know."

I saw Embry stiffen at my tone. He apparently didn't like how I was speaking to his imprint. La-di-fucking-da.

"Don't blame this on Embry or Rebecca, Leah," Mom said. "Rebecca's been trying to get me to tell you since she and Embry were married. They both respected me enough to let the decision be mine though."

"This doesn't change anything," Seth suddenly spoke up. We all looked at him in confusion. He looked pale but determined. "I'm still going to marry Hayley."

"But what if you imprint?" our mom whispered.

"It's not going to happen," he said firmly. "And I'm not going to waste my life on a what if. I—"

There was a knock on the door and we all froze. Seth being closest to the door went over and answered it.

"Hi, is Embry here?" a female voice questioned.

"I'm here," Embry said, getting up from the couch and walking towards the door.

"Hey!" A petite girl with long dark hair and hazel eyes ran into the room, hurtling herself into Embry's arms. Embry wrapped her in his embrace and gave her a huge hug, lifting her off her feet. I looked at Rebecca to see what her reaction was to this display of affection, but she was grinning at the pair. As soon as Embry put her back on the ground, the girl went over and hugged Rebecca.

"What are you doing here?" Embry asked. My temper was beginning to flare again. I just had a shitbomb dropped in my lap and Embry was playing social hour.

The girl looked around the room and frowned, finally picking up on the tension. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything," she said. "I was hoping I could get in an hour with my niece and nephew before we went to the church. You know, seeing as Maggie's going to be my goddaughter and everything."

Niece and nephew? I looked at the girl closely and saw that she had a slight resemblance to Embry.

"Oh," Embry said, before looking around the room awkwardly. He moved protectively next to the girl. "This is my sister, Kayla Marie. These are the Clearwaters, Leah and Seth, and their mother Sue Swan."

"Nice to meet you," Kayla said politely. I just stared at her. I knew that Embry's mom had left the rez as soon as Embry turned eighteen. She had moved to Seattle where she remarried and a kid, but Embry wasn't close to them.

My mom smiled stiffly, but Seth didn't say a thing. That got my attention because no matter what the circumstances, my brother was a fucking boy scout when it came to manners. I glanced over at him and started swearing in Quileute. My mom also seemed to realize what had happened because she started crying.

My freaking brother just imprinted on Kayla Marie. He stood there staring at her like he'd recently had a lobotomy. Rebecca stepped into the role of host and jumped up from the couch.

"Maggie and Luke are upstairs," she said as she walked over to Kayla. "Why don't I show you up to their rooms? Did you find the house okay, by the way? I know you haven't been to La Push before."

"Um yeah, it was easy," Kayla Marie responded.

"Oh good," Rebecca said, her voice unnaturally high. "Well, let's go say hello to the kids."

She grabbed Kayla's hand and all but dragged her up the stairs. Seth seemed to be in a trance. His body automatically turned toward the direction his imprint had disappeared, and I thought he was going to follow her.

Before he could go through with it, I hissed, "You imprinted on your brother's sister? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Leah," Mom said in an admonishing tone. "They aren't related and watch the language."

"It's creepy," I replied.

"They have two separate sets of parents," Embry said weakly. "There's no blood between them."

That made me angry again. "No blood relation except for you."

"I…I…" Seth was trying to speak, but he couldn't formulate a sentence. In a daze, he placed his foot on the stairs. I went over and smacked him upside the head.

"Haven't you forgotten a little something?" I reminded him angrily. "You know, like the fact that you're engaged?"

"Oh…" Seth said stupidly. In that moment, my heart ached for him. I also felt bad for Hayley because she was about to go through the same hell that I had with Sam. Seth started shaking badly. Looking at Embry, he muttered, "I need to leave."

Before another word could be said, he opened the front door and ran for the woods. Seconds later, the cry of a wolf rang through the air. I was half tempted to phase and go after him. I was upset enough, but I thought of Dylan and forced myself to calm down.

I needed to get out of this house. I needed to get away from Embry. As much as I hated myself for it, he had morphed into a symbol of my father's unfaithfulness.

I looked at him briefly and said, "I'm sorry. Today has been a little overwhelming. I'm not going to be able to attend the baptism."

And with that, I stumbled out of his house and found myself heading down to First Beach. I knew I should return to Sam and Emily's because Emily was watching my kids right now, but I needed a moment. I stood on the rocky shoreline and wrapped my arms around my stomach, the cool air making me shiver.

I felt horrible…depressed and angry. I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream or cry. I stood out there, not moving for the next couple of hours. Then it dawned on me that there was only one person I wanted to talk to right now. I pulled my cell phone out of my jacket pocket.

As soon as I heard Dylan's voice, tension left my shoulders. "Hi."

"Hey sweetheart," he replied. "I was going to call you later."

"I know. I just…" I got choked up for a second before I continued in a raspy tone, "I just needed to hear your voice."

"Leah, what's wrong?" Dylan asked instantly.

"Nothing," I murmured.

"Leah…"

I ran my free hand over my eyes as I tried to hold back a sob. "I just found out my dad had an affair."

"What? When?"

"When I was little. He got the woman pregnant. Embry Call's my half brother."

"Wow," Dylan responded, as stunned as I had been.

"And that's not all," I stated. "Seth proposed to Hayley."

"Lee, I know you don't like her, but—"

"That's not why I'm upset," I interrupted. "Seth said that Clearwaters don't imprint. I mean, I haven't—_yet_—so he figured he was safe."

"Leah, we've been married thirteen years, you still haven't imprinted on anyone—"

"My mom told us the truth about Embry because she wanted to prove to Seth that Clearwaters _could_ imprint. Embry did. And then Seth did too."

Dylan was silent for a moment before he said, "I don't understand. I thought Hayley wasn't his imprint."

"She's not. Embry's half sister Kayla Marie showed up while we were in the middle of finding out Dad had been an unfaithful bastard. Seth imprinted on _her_."

Dylan went quiet again. And then he said in a voice that was strained, "I know where you're going with this, Leah. This doesn't mean that it'll happen to you."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. In a hoarse voice, I said, "I know."

"I love you, Leah," Dylan stated softly. "I love you so much. I don't want you to worry about this. We have our family. We have each other. Just keep thinking about that, okay?"

"Okay," I finally said, wiping at the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"All right, then," Dylan replied. "Did you talk to Nate? Does he think Lilly's going to phase?"

I felt a smile tug on my lips as Dylan changed the conversation to a calmer subject.

"I don't know yet. I haven't seen him, but when we arrived at Sam and Emily's last night, Sam told me he thought she seemed close to phasing."

Emily and Sam had been kind enough to let my family stay at their place. I was sleeping in their guest room, the boys were crashing in Nate's old room, and Lilly had been given the couch to sleep on. Given everything that Sam and Emily were dealing with right now with their daughter, Gracie, they probably wanted the distraction of my family's visit.

Dylan swore lowly. "What are we going to do?"

"Keep an eye on her. If she phases, we'll need to call Nate immediately."

"Sounds like a plan."

I sniffed but put on a brave front as I said, "I should probably let you go. Emily's watching the kids right now, and I missed the baptism so they're probably wondering where I am."

"Okay. Give the kids a hug for me," Dylan said wistfully.

"I will. I love you," I stated, closing my eyes at the declaration.

"I love you," Dylan replied softly before hanging up.

I walked over to the tribe's community center where our wolf reunion was taking place. I went inside and looked around. Lilly was standing off by herself on one side of the room, keeping her eye on Julian who was playing with a little boy I recognized as Rafe Elwah's son, Taurin. Henry was currently running around with Luke Call. Well, at least the cousins were getting along.

God did that sting. I knew it wasn't Embry's fault, but it killed me to think that my dad was not only unfaithful, but he didn't even have the balls to acknowledge his son. It left a sour taste in my mouth.

Emily came over to me as soon as she saw me. "Hey."

"Hi. I'm sorry I stuck you with my kids."

"It's okay," Emily said. "Aunt Sue said you were upset about something so she and Charlie have been helping me keep an eye on them. Not that they needed to. Lian has been playing with Taurin ever since we got here, Henry's making friends with everyone, and Lilly's been watching her brothers."

"Did you know that my dad had an affair?" I asked bluntly, eyeing her closely. My father had loved Emily like a second daughter.

"What?" Her jaw dropped open in surprise. "Of course not. I didn't know anything about it. Wh-when did this happen?"

"When I was about two," I said quietly before adding, "Embry Call is my brother."

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"I wish I were joking, but I'm completely serious."

"I can't believe Uncle Harry would do that to Aunt Sue," Emily muttered before she said, "I take it you just found out?"

I nodded.

"Did Aunt Sue just find out as well?"

"No," I replied, feeling the burning anger return to my chest. "She found out after my dad died."

"Oh Lee," Emily said softly, giving me a hug.

"I'm fine," I responded stiffly. I looked around the room and noticed my brother was still absent. "You haven't seen Seth, have you?"

"No," Emily answered. "But Nate told me he imprinted. He checked on him awhile ago. I guess Seth was running through the woods working off some energy, but I think he's phased back now."

Nate came over to us, probably having heard everything we'd been discussing. He towered over me, his face strong and serious.

"He's fine," Nate told me. "He's speaking with Hayley at the moment."

My eyes jerked over to where Jared and Kim were sitting. Jared looked pissed while he and Kim spoke quietly to each other. If the wolves knew about Seth's imprint, chances were high that Jared's wolf hearing had picked up on all the whispered conversations, because the pack didn't know how to keep their mouths shut. No wonder he was ticked.

I sighed tiredly before I turned back to Nate. "So what's your opinion on Lilly?"

Nate looked at me regretfully and my shoulders dropped in defeat.

"I'll take care of her if she phases," he said. "I promise.

"Thank you, Nate."

He nodded and returned to his wife, Meena, who was sitting with her parents, Jake and Ness.

"She doesn't look like she's twelve," Emily said out of nowhere. I glanced over to see who she was speaking about and saw her staring at Lilly with a frown.

"She's twelve?" Jason Pachena, one of Nate's youngest pack members, questioned as he walked past us. "I thought she was twenty-two."

His eyes ran over my daughter's developed frame in a way that made me want to punch him in the gonads. He must have seen something on my face because he quickly took off and joined his other pack brothers.

"Seth wasn't the only one who imprinted today," Emily spoke quietly.

I looked at her questioningly, half in fear that my daughter was the latest victim of being imprinted on. A quick glance around the room showed that there were no wolves staring at her in a transfixed way.

Emily nodded across the room and I saw Will Samson. I hadn't seen him in years. He was holding a little boy on his lap and he was staring at his table wearing a pained expression. I was surprised to see him. He hadn't been back since I told him at Ness and Jake's wedding that we couldn't be together.

"Will showed up today with his son, Kyran," Emily explained. "He had decided he'd had enough of Hollywood. He wants to open up a talent agency in Port Angeles. He made it in time for Maggie's baptism and imprinted on her."

I let out a humorless laugh. "I really am an imprint radar, aren't I? If a guy shows interest in me, I better warn all my female relatives."

Emily gave me a sympathetic, yet uncomfortable look. Squeezing her hand to let her know I didn't mean that as an attack on her, we headed over to Jake and Nessie's table so I could get caught up with my former Alpha. I was pretty sure Embry must have told Jacob everything because Jake kept looking at me with concerned eyes. I kept quiet throughout the rest of the evening and people thankfully stayed clear of me. My mood was obvious even to my kids. Julian kept coming over to me, making goofy faces to get me to laugh, before he hurried back over to Taurin. My ever serious Henry kept looking at me worriedly. And even Lilly forgot to be a sullen tween long enough to sit by me at our table, her shoulder affectionately leaning against mine.

After we returned to Sam and Emily's and I had gotten the kids to sleep, I went up to the guest room and laid exhaustedly on the bed, my mind overloaded with everything that had happened today. I couldn't think about Embry—not yet anyway—so I pushed him mentally aside.

I felt so hurt and disappointed in my dad. I loved him so much and now he had fallen off the pedestal I had placed him on after his death. I was also scared. I didn't want to imprint for anything. I couldn't bear the idea of losing Dylan.

What if I _did_ end up imprinting though? I'd have to leave my husband for another man and I'd be no better than my faithless father. That thought more than anything broke me, and I pressed the heel of my hand again my mouth as I sobbed silently. I eventually drifted off to sleep, but was woken hours later as I felt arms wrap around me from behind. I was pulled against a solid body and I froze in shock.

"Hey," Dylan murmured against my ear.

I let out a gasp before turning in his arms. I asked in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

His face was inches from mine. He reached up and pushed some hair off my cheek, tucking the loose strands behind my ear.

"I needed to hold you," he admitted.

"What about your job?" I questioned, my muddled mind still trying to wake up.

"I told my boss I had a family emergency and needed to leave the assignment. Since I never do that, he was pretty understanding."

I shuddered before pulling him on top of me. "I'm glad you're here," I whispered.

"Me too," he said, kissing my forehead before lightly kissing my lips. He rolled us so that we were on our sides again and he linked his arm around my waist. "I've been doing some thinking."

I stiffened and Dylan pulled back slightly to look at me. His face was encased in the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window. He was beautiful and my hand went to his side, needing to feel him.

"What's that look on your face for?" he questioned.

"I'm bracing myself in case whatever you were thinking resulted in bad thoughts."

His lips quirked into a smile. "Such a pessimist. No, I was thinking about this whole imprinting thing."

"Oh?" I said as calmly as I could.

"Do you remember when we had our first date?" he asked. "Well, it wasn't really a date. We had lunch after class."

I nodded, waiting for the ax to fall.

"I told you I was part Chinook. Legend has it that the tribe started when the offspring of the great Thunderbird fell from the sky." I raised an eyebrow at him and his thumb came out to caress it. "Some birds imprint. Hawks…owls…"

"Ducks," I added sardonically.

"I'm trying to make a point here," he said dryly.

"Dylan, c'mon," I said, shaking my head and rejecting the idea. "I know where you're going with this, but—"

"What? You think your tribe's the only one who can have legends come true? All I know is from the moment I saw you in that smoky basement of my fraternity house, I wanted you in my life. You didn't even notice me and I took one look at you and lost my heart without realizing it. I didn't want to fall in love with anyone. I wanted to be miserable and alone after Anna's death. But I saw you and knew I needed you. You brought me back to life, Leah. So explain to me how I could feel that way about you so soon after meeting you if it wasn't destined to be?"

I blinked back tears as I whispered, "I don't know."

"Maybe you didn't imprint on me the moment we met, but I felt something for you." He moved my hand so that it was covering his heart. "I felt you here. And you may doubt that bond or even us on occasion. But I never have and I never will."

I closed my eyes as I sagged against him. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"Hey, it's what I do," Dylan said in an amused tone.

We held each other close for the rest of the night, and that more than anything comforted me. When I woke up the next day, I knew I was going to need more time before I talked to Embry.

However, I _was_ going to talk to him soon. He was my brother. And I wanted my kids to know their uncle.

We might not have had a perfect beginning after finding out we were related.

But we could at least have a new start.

* * *

**End Note**

Two more chapters left of this story! Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	22. Gabriel

**Chapter Prologue**

What can I tell you about the man Lilly eventually married?

Gabriel Black is the son of my Alpha. Alpha in his own right. All around good guy.

Major skeletons in his closet.

For example, he almost killed my goddaughter Gracie once. That earned him banishment from La Push for almost a year. After he was kicked off the rez, he moved to Alaska where he shacked up with a thousand year old vampire named Tanya. He and said vampire were having sex in the forest one afternoon when a new wolf stumbled upon them…the new wolf being my daughter.

Lilly hadn't stood a chance at not phasing. She was a Clearwater after all. Both my siblings phased. I phased. It was inescapable. It also brought things full circle for me. Like mother, like daughter.

The timing of her first phase couldn't have been any shittier. A few days after I found out Embry was my brother, a bloodsucker the pack had chased earlier that summer returned to the area. Lilly phased about a few hours later, and she took off running before anyone could help her. She ended up in Alaska, interrupting Gabe and Tanya.

Now when my daughter and Gabe first met, I wouldn't necessarily say they hit it off. In fact, they tried to kill each other. Lilly had only known what her instincts were telling her…that Tanya was the enemy. She tried to attack the other woman and Gabe stopped her. He was able to get Lilly to calm down so that she could transform back into human form. When that happened, they took one look at each other and bam…imprint.

It wasn't one sided either. Nope. They imprinted on one another. It was actually pretty fitting. Gabe needed to find someone who was immortal like him, and he found that person in my daughter.

However, if you've learned one thing from my memoir, it's that imprinting doesn't automatically mean love and rainbows. Needless to say, Lilly wasn't impressed with Gabe. He reeked like vampire and she _had_ just stumbled upon him fucking the bloodsucker. To be honest, she was pissed to be tied to him. She did her best to ignore him as well as the pull she felt toward him.

But as you know, it's very hard to resist the one you're destined to be with, and Gabe did everything to win her despite his broken heart over Tanya (and yes, I did pick up on the irony that I had something in common with the leech—being that we were both dumped for imprints. I almost felt bad for the thing…almost).

Anyway, I ended up taking pity on Gabe and hiring him to work at my spa. The kid had a brain in him (I credit Renesmee for that). He worked as a manager while he attended the local college, earning his bachelor's in finance.

And as he established his life in Oregon, he watched over Lilly as she grew from an impish teen to a mature, thoughtful beauty queen. She tried and tested Gabe over the years, but they eventually found their way to each other.

It wasn't easy. As much as she wanted to resist him, he eventually wore her down and they became best friends. He was good to her and _so_ patient as she grew up. He was smart about how he worked his way into her heart. He started off making casual appearances in her life, though I knew he'd spent most of his nights sleeping underneath her bedroom window. Because she had imprinted on him as well, she yearned to be with him. Every time he showed up at our house, her heart let him in a little more.

Gabe didn't complain when she joined Nate Uley's pack—it was actually a relief for both of them to not be in the same mindset. They would have been too distracted by each other if they shared the same brain, and that would have been dangerous. And with her imprinting, Gabe was no longer ostracized. He had struggled to fit in on the rez when the Blacks first moved back to the area. Alphas don't like to be around each other, and the La Push pack had given their loyalty to Nate Uley. Gabe was considered an outsider. I think he spent a lot of his earlier years searching for a place to fit in. With Lilly being in Nate's pack, he finally got the acceptance he was looking for because the pack has always been extremely protective of their imprints.

Gabe was also there for the regular events in Lilly's life. He took her to her prom much to the envy of her friends—Gabe is, after all, a good looking guy. He cheered the loudest when she graduated high school. He followed her when she decided to go to college. And after Lilly earned her bachelor's degree, he proposed. They eventually got married and provided me with two beautiful grandsons, Caleb and Elijah.

But like I said, it wasn't easy for Gabe to get to that point. In fact, on the day Lilly phased for the first time, I didn't think she'd want to have anything to do with _any_ of us ever again…

**Chapter 22 – Gabriel**

I headed out of the spa, tension in my shoulders. We had a client who tried to throw a hissy fit over something minor so she wouldn't have to pay for a five hundred dollar treatment, and my favorite massage therapist gave her notice…all within the first couple hours of opening. My mood did not improve as I walked to my car.

I turned my head east and took a couple of deep breaths. Instantly, my nose started to burn. Swearing, I jumped in my car, put my Bluetooth in my ear, and sped out of the spa's parking lot.

I called my ever efficient manager, Ebony, and let her know I'd be out for the rest of the day. Next I called Nate Uley and let him know that the vampire they'd hunted earlier this summer had returned. And then I gunned it to Lilly and Henry's private school.

_Please don't let her phase in class, please don't let her phase in class._

I pulled up to the school and jumped out of the car, racing into the main office.

"My name is Leah Gordon," I announced to the startled secretary. "I need to withdrawal my children, Henry and Lilly, for the day. We have a family emergency at home."

"Of course," the secretary said. She used the PA system to call each classroom. Henry and Lilly came into the office a few minutes later, both looking equally confused.

"I'm taking you both home," I told them. "Let's go get your school bags."

"Why?" Lilly questioned as we started down the hallway. I examined her face closely. Her eyes looked a little glassy and her cheeks were flushed—all the signs that her body temperature was increasing.

"How you feeling, Lil?" I asked.

"Fine," she said with a shrug.

I turned to Henry. "Go grab your backpack and meet us at your sister's locker."

"Okay," he replied before hurrying off. I stayed with Lilly. No way was I leaving her side.

The kids got their school bags, and we piled into my car and headed for home. I could still smell the leech in the air and I glanced at Lilly several times during our drive. She kept wincing as if the smell was burning her nose.

"So why did you get us out of school?" she asked.

I didn't want to tell her the truth in case it upset her and she phased. Feeling guilty, I said, "I just thought we could have some family time today."

"Cool," Henry said from the backseat. We pulled up to the house. A fine sheen of sweat had broken out on Lilly's skin.

"Lil, you don't look so good. Why don't you go lay on your bed?"

"I'm fine," she snapped, her hands trembling slightly.

"Okay," I said in a pacifying tone. I knew I had to keep her calm.

We headed inside and to my slight amusement, Lilly did as I told her, heading straight for her room and slamming the door behind her. Julian came running down the hall to greet me with Dylan following behind. When Dylan wasn't out of town on business, he worked from the home a lot so he could watch Julian. Otherwise, our youngest went to daycare.

"What are you doing home?" Dylan asked.

I shook my head. "Remember that problem from this summer? It's back."

Dylan looked confused for a minute before his eyebrows snapped together and he turned to look down the hallway leading to Lilly's room. He glanced back at me questioningly and I nodded, silently confirming to him that our daughter was about to phase.

"What problem?" Henry asked, his ever keen eyes watchful.

"Momma, I went potty in the chair," Julian announced proudly at the same time. We were currently working on potty training though it wasn't going smoothly.

I lifted him above my head much to his glee. "Did you really, Lian? You're getting so big."

I twirled him around and he squealed with laughter as Dylan and Henry sat on the couch, discussing a science project Henry was working on. I was grateful to Dylan for distracting our middle child. He eventually got up to make us lunch, and I suggested Henry entertain himself by playing a video game.

The next few hours were tense. I felt like I was waiting for a bomb to go off. I was aware of everything. I could hear Lilly tossing and turning on her bed. I could feel Dylan's concerned eyes on me.

When Henry went to his room to finish his homework and Lilly still hadn't made a reappearance, I turned to Dylan, "I don't know if she's going to phase or not, but if she does, I want you to take the boys and lock yourself in our master bathroom."

"What about you?"

"I can take care of myself," I said. When he looked like he was going to object, I reminded him, "I've been through this before, remember? I need to know that you and the boys are safe."

He nodded and I sat by him on our couch. My eyes fell to Julian who was sleeping where he'd been playing on the floor.

"I don't want her to phase," I murmured. "I don't want her to go through this."

"Nate said he'd take care of her and she _is_ his cousin," Dylan reminded me. "She's going to be in good hands, Lee. She won't go through the trauma that you did."

I had told Dylan before how rejected I'd felt when I first phased and had to join Sam's pack.

"I don't want her to feel like a monster," I stated. "She'll be the only female wolf."

"That doesn't mean she'll be lonely. Nate won't let that happen and Seth's in the pack too. And it's not like she's the only female wolf in your history." He nudged me with his elbow. "Lilly's a strong girl, Leah. She'll survive whatever happens, and we'll make sure she doesn't feel like a monster."

I smiled at him. "You're right. She is strong. She takes after you."

"Funny," Dylan said with a gentle smile. "I thought she inherited _your_ strength."

The phone rang before we could continue. I carefully handed Julian over to his father before I went into my kitchen to answer it.

"Hey, it's me," Seth said. "The pack's currently hunting that vampire. I just wanted to give you a quick call to see how Lil was doing."

"I'm worried, Seth," I said lowly. "All the signs are there. I think it's going to happen today. It looks like her body temperature is shooting through the roof and she's really short tempered."

"D-Don't talk about me!"

I swung around and saw Lilly standing in the kitchen, shaking so hard she was starting to blur.

"Dylan!" I yelled out as the phone dropped from my hand. I heard him run down the hall and into Henry's room. Lilly turned to see what the commotion was, and I blocked the entrance of the kitchen so she couldn't return to the main part of the house. She snarled at me in response.

"Get outside, Lilly," I ordered. She looked like she was going to argue, but her shaking increased. With panic in her eyes, she ran out the kitchen door that led to our backyard. Luckily, we lived on a secluded edge of Forest Park.

"W-What's h-h-happening?" she asked.

"You're phasing," I whispered sadly just as she burst out of her skin. A large gray wolf with a white face appeared. She shook her head as if dizzy and I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Lil."

She turned to face me and howled so loud I winced. For a second, I thought she was going to attack me, but she turned and disappeared into the woods. On shaking limbs, I went back into my house. The phone was lying on the floor where I had dropped it.

"Leah! Leah! Are you there?" I heard Seth's frantic voice. I tried to pick up the phone but it slipped from my numb fingers. Cursing, I picked it up again.

"Seth, Lilly just phased. She's headed in your direction."

"We'll keep an eye out for her," he promised. "I need to let Nate know what's happening."

"Okay," I said. "Call me if you run into her."

"I will," my brother replied before he hung up.

I put my phone on the counter and then covered my hands with my face. I wanted to sob, but I was suddenly aware of Julian crying. Though I was still trembling after what had happened, I followed the noise and went to my room, knocking on the door.

"Dylan, it's me," I said.

The door opened and he came out, holding Julian who was sobbing hysterically, while his other arm was wrapped protectively around Henry's shoulders.

"Momma," Julian cried, his hands held out to me. I quickly took him from Dylan and soothed him as best as I could.

"The wolf howl startled him," Dylan said grimly. "Where is she?"

"On her way up north," I murmured.

"Mom, what's going on?" Henry asked. "Where's Lilly?"

"Lilly went out for a run," I told him.

"Now?" he questioned. "But there's a wolf on the prowl."

"She'll be okay," I replied. "I wouldn't let her go out if I thought she was in danger."

Henry's eyes narrowed. Sometimes that kid saw way more than I wanted to acknowledge.

Dylan moved his hand up to the back of Henry's neck, massaging the skin there. "Why don't I show you a new program I'm working on?"

"Okay," Henry replied eagerly. My boys were total tech geeks. They could talk about computers for hours.

As they disappeared into Dylan's office, I began to pace around my living room, trying to get Julian to calm down. He finally fell into an exhausted sleep and I carried him to his room, laying him gently on his racecar bed.

I went into the kitchen and stared out the window, hoping Lilly would reappear. Dylan walked into the room and put his hands on my shoulders.

"You doing okay?"

"I just wish I knew where she was."

"She's probably with the pack," Dylan said. When I didn't say anything, he turned me so that I was looking at him. His face was thoughtful as he stated, "This isn't your fault, Leah."

"Of course it's my fault. I'm the one with the tainted genes."

"Lee—"

"Mom, I'm hungry," Henry said, walking into the kitchen.

"I'll get dinner started," I replied blankly. I forced a smile on my lips and said, "Why don't you two go watch a movie. I'll call you when it's time to eat."

Dylan looked like he wanted to protest and continue our conversation, but he must have seen the stress on my face, because he slowly nodded. Without another word, he left the room. Henry lingered for a moment, watching me as I grabbed a pot from the cupboard and filled it with water before placing it on the stove. Next I pulled out a jar of spaghetti sauce and pasta.

"Mom?" Henry asked.

"Hmm," I said as I waited for the water to boil.

"Is Lilly a wolf?"

I froze before I slowly turned to him. "Why do you think that?"

He shrugged. "I heard you telling her about the Quileute legends once. And I overheard some people talking at Maggie Call's baptism about a wolf pack. Lilly also disappeared right around the time that wolf howled, and I know you wouldn't let her go outside if there was a wolf around cause you're too protective of us."

Why did my son have to be so observant? Releasing a bent up breath I'd been holding, I said, "Yes. Your sister turned into the wolf you heard."

"Because of our heritage?" he asked and I nodded. Henry's eyes widen. "Will she change back?"

"Once she calms down, she will. But Henry, you've got to promise me that you'll never tell anyone. Not your friends or Julian. You have to keep this a secret because there are people out there that would hurt your sister if they knew the truth."

He nodded before lowering his eyes to the ground. "Will I change into a wolf someday?"

I walked over to him and lifted his chin so that I could stare into his eyes. "I don't know. Your Uncle Seth is a wolf. And your U-Uncle Embry and I _used_ to be wolves. It runs in the family. If it happens to you though, I don't want you to worry, okay? I promise that you'll be loved and protected. Nothing will ever change that."

"You were a wolf?" he asked in surprise.

"A long time ago, yes."

His lips quirked into a half smile. "Cool." And then in a very Dylan-like manner, he changed the subject to a different topic. "When's dinner gonna be ready?"

I laughed and hugged him close. "Soon."

"Okay." He hugged me back before he left the room. A few minutes later, I heard the TV start up.

It wasn't until Julian got up, we ate dinner, and Dylan was doing the dishes that my phone rang. Practically running to it, I answered the call breathlessly.

"It's me again," Seth said.

"Did you find Lilly?"

"Uh yeah, we found her."

"What?" I asked in a panicked tone. "What's wrong with her?"

"She's fine. Nate's with her right now in Canada."

"Canada!"

"Yeah, she made it all the way to Alaska before she stopped running."

I heard something in Seth's voice. It was a cross between exasperation and humor. Frowning, I said, "Did you get the bloodsucker?"

"Yep, he won't be coming around again."

"Good."

An awkward silence fell between us. I finally snapped, "Seriously. What aren't you telling me?"

"Well…it's just that…Lilly sorta ran into another wolf."

"Did she get hurt?" I asked, my grip tightening on my phone.

Seth snorted. "No, nothing like that. She imprinted."

"What?"

"Yeah and he imprinted on her, too, so you should probably mentally prepare yourself and Dylan. I'm sure he'll be around soon."

"Who?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Gabe Black."

Fuck me sideways. "Are you serious?"

This time there was no hiding Seth's amusement. "Ironic, huh? Who'd of thought when you joined Jacob's pack all those years ago that you were protecting your daughter's future family?"

I glared off into space. "I want to hurt you so bad right now."

"But Leah, think about it. You can now call the Cullens _family_."

"Hey Seth…"

"What?" he said with a laugh.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and hit the end button. Slamming it down on the kitchen counter, I folded my arms across my chest and tried to calm down.

Fuck!

"Fuck!" I repeated, this time aloud.

"What happened?" Dylan asked as he finished loading the dishwasher. "Is Lilly all right?"

"She's fine. She imprinted."

"What? Already?" Dylan asked in confusion.

"Ye_p_," I said with an emphasis on the P.

"Damn," Dylan said with a frown. "I gotta be honest, I'm not comfortable with her dating."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Oh, there's no fucking way she's going to date. Not for another few years anyway. But…he's going to need to be around her."

"Do you know the guy?"

"Yes and so do you. Gabriel Black."

"Jake's kid? But wasn't he living with some vampire?"

"Yeah," I said before covering my face. "What a mess."

I felt Dylan's arms wrap around me and I rested my forehead on his chest.

"Lee…" he said slowly. "You're not jealous, are you?"

My head shot up. "Why would I be jealous?"

He looked at me sadly. "I know a part of you wakes up every day afraid that you'll imprint. Lilly won't have to worry about that."

I pushed back slightly, but Dylan didn't let me go. "How can you say that to me? How could you think I'd be jealous of my own daughter?"

"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I guess I'm kind of confused though. Won't having an imprint be a good thing?"

I lost some of my rigidity. "If she wants him, I'll support it. But…he's just so much older than her. He's too mature. And we can't keep them apart. It would hurt Lilly too much."

"Leah," Dylan cupped my chin and made me look at him. "Let's take it one day at a time, okay?"

I nodded before I confessed in a small voice, "Fine. A tiny part of me is jealous. Her future is secure."

Dylan lightly kissed my lips and said, "So is yours."

We went into our living room and watched movies with Henry and Julian. When it got late, I had the boys go to bed. As I was coming out of Julian's room, there was a knock on the door. As Dylan was back in his office working, I answered it and wasn't surprised to see who was on the other side.

"Gabe." I acknowledged.

"Is she here?" he asked. He had grown into a handsome man, but right now he looked stressed as fuck and incredibly exhausted.

"She's not back yet, but she's with Nate right now," I told him before stepping back. "Do you want to come in?"

He nodded and walked by me. My nose wrinkled in disgust. While a part of him smelled like fresh linen, I could also smell sex on him along with the stench of vampire. Of course, I overreacted.

"Who've you been sleeping with today?" I asked, ready to kill him if it turned out to be my daughter.

His face blushed as he whispered, "I was with Tanya when Lilly found us."

"Wait. You were with Tanya…as in doing the dirty?"

He nodded and for the first time all day, I laughed. "Damn kid, you are in some serious shit, aren't you? You couldn't shower first?"

"I just wanted to get here."

He looked so miserable I had to take pity on him. "Go take a shower. You can't see Lilly smelling like that. I'll get some fresh clothes of Dylan's you can wear."

He went into the bathroom and I grabbed one of Dylan's extra large t-shirts and some sweats. Gabe was a lot bigger than Dylan, but hopefully the clothes would fit.

I knocked on the bathroom door and Gabe answered it. I went to hand him the clothes, but when he tried to take them, I couldn't let go. He looked at me questioningly.

"Gabe," I said cautiously. "She's only twelve."

He nodded in understanding. "I'm technically thirteen."

I scoffed at that. "You and I both know you haven't been thirteen in a long time. You're light years ahead of her."

"Leah, I won't hurt her," he stated, his face serious. "Not for anything in the world."

I nodded slowly and gave him the clothes. As he shut the door to take a shower, I walked into the living room in time to see Dylan letting Jacob and Renesmee into the house.

"Well, well, well," I snapped. "If this isn't just a friggin' family reunion."

Nessie looked pale. Jacob had a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Isn't it great?" he said. "As you and Whitney are big fans of combining names, I thought we could call them…" Jake paused before he waved his hands across the air for dramatic effect "…Blackwater."

My expression turned glacial. "How about if I kick you in the balls so hard you'll be peeing black water for the rest of your life?"

"I'm sorry, Leah," Ness spoke up softly, distracting me from my very serious threat. "I know how you've always felt about my family. And now your daughter's going to be with them for an eternity."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dylan stated, going into overprotective mode. "Provided she _wants _to be with him. She's too damned young to date anyone right now. Maybe when she's a hundred, your son can date her."

Something dawned on me in that moment. I went over to Ness, ignoring our husbands and looked her in the eye. "You're right. She'll be with you for an eternity, long after we're gone." I reached out and hugged my friend, whispering in her ear, "You'll watch out for her, right?"

"Always," Renesmee said, hugging me back and I felt calmer at that reassurance.

The front door opened and we looked over to see Nate and Lilly standing in the doorframe. Lilly's hair looked like she had soaked it in mud before she rolled in twigs and leaves. She was wearing a long shirt that had to belong to Nate considering he wasn't wearing one.

"Lilly…" I started to say but stopped when her eyes snapped to mine. There was so much anger and distrust in her gaze. Her eyes shifted behind me and she started to tremble.

"What's he doing here?"

I turned and saw Gabe standing in the archway of the living room. The expression on his face broke my heart.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Lilly asked with a bitterness I didn't know she was capable of.

"We broke up," Gabe muttered.

"Oh sweetie," Ness said softly.

"Why are you here?" Lilly questioned, suddenly sounding like she was going to cry.

"I came to see you," Gabe replied simply.

"I don't want you here," she stated before she shifted frantic eyes towards me. "Please make him go away."

She ran down the hall, brushing by her imprint without another word. Seconds later, Lilly's bedroom door slammed.

"That went well," Gabe said tiredly.

Jacob went over to his son and hugged him. "She'll come around. How'd Tanya take it?"

"I didn't want to hurt her, Dad," Gabe mumbled into his shoulder. I had a feeling he was talking about both of the women in his life.

"I know," Jacob said, patting Gabe on the back.

As much as I felt sorry for Gabe and the whole situation, my first concern was Lilly. I glanced at Dylan, who was currently glaring at his daughter's imprint like he wanted to punch him. It made me smile a little. If Gabe thought I was going to be a pain in the ass when it came to dating Lilly, Dylan was going to be worse. Despite his casual attitude, Lilly was his little girl. I reached over and squeezed his hand.

"I'm going to talk to Lil," I said and he nodded. I went by Gabe and offered him an awkward pat on the shoulder before I headed down the hall to Lilly's room.

I knocked on her door. When she didn't respond, I opened it. She was sitting in the middle of her bed, staring out at the night sky through the bedroom window. Her hair still a mess and her knees were brought up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Though she was now as tall as me, she looked so small and vulnerable.

I shut the door and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her. She didn't even acknowledge me.

"You're going to have to talk to me someday."

"I have nothing to say," she muttered.

"That's good, because I have plenty. First off…" I eyed her hair again. "Do you want me to fix your hair?"

She shrugged and I grabbed her brush off the dresser and sat back down behind her. I slowly made my way through her ratted strands, hoping I didn't hurt her. I knew from my own experience that the skin could be sensitive right after you first phased.

We sat in silence for a few minutes as I freed her hair from its snarls. I finally said, "I used to wear my hair short, so when I phased I didn't have to deal with the mess."

Lilly froze before she turned on the bed to look at me. "You used to…"

"Be a wolf?" I finished her sentence. "Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered.

"I _did_ tell you. I told you about our legends," I reminded her. "But we aren't supposed to tell anyone, and I couldn't tell you the full story unless you phased. And you can't tell anyone either. Henry figured it out, but you can't tell Julian or any of your friends. The pack has enemies—the cold ones—and there is a particularly dangerous group that lives in Italy who'd love nothing more than to hurt us."

Lilly's chin wobbled. "Did you hate it?"

"A part of me did," I told her honestly. "But—and I can't believe I'm saying this—there were some benefits as well."

"Like what?"

"Speed. Strength. And I got brothers out of it. True friends that I wouldn't change for anything."

"Mom, I don't want to be a freak."

"I know," I said as I pushed some hair away from her cheek. "But you will always have the pack to watch your back. And just remember you aren't the only one out there. Your cousin Nate is the Alpha. He already promised that he'd help you."

Lilly was quiet as I continued to fix her hair. When I was done, I got up and put the hairbrush on her dresser before I sat back in front of her and grabbed her hand.

"Do you want to talk about Gabe?" I asked.

She seemed to flinch. "He…he's the enemy, isn't he? He's what we fight."

"No," I said instantly. "He's the son of two of my closest friends. His grandfather was a leec—err—vampire, it's true. But Gabe is a hybrid. He's part vampire, part wolf, part human. To be honest, he's mostly wolf. From my understanding, he only feeds on blood occasionally."

That probably wasn't the best thing to say because Lilly paled.

"Does he kill humans?" she asked weakly.

"No, he and his family only hunt animals," I said quickly. Squeezing her hand, I added, "He'd never hurt you, Lil. He'd die before letting anything happen to you."

She didn't say anything. She just looked miserable. Sighing, I said, "When you looked at Gabe for the first time, did it feel like your world was suddenly spinning around him?"

Lilly tensed before she slowly nodded. I reached up and cupped her cheek briefly. "That's called imprinting. Lilly, you're going to want to have Gabe in your life. It'll be painful if you don't see him."

"I don't want to see him ever again," she stated dramatically and I had to remember that she was still a young girl.

"That's not how imprinting works. You'll feel incomplete if you don't see him. And someday…you might even want to date him."

"I don't want to date him," Lilly snapped. "I want to marry Kevin Shelton."

Kevin was a boy that Lilly had had a crush on since the fourth grade. In the living room, I heard a bang—as if someone had hit something—and I knew Gabe had heard her rejection.

"You don't have to date Gabe," I said. "Actually, you can't date until you're sixteen anyway so that's not even up for discussion. But could you at least try to be friends with him? His parents have been my friends for years, and I want you two to get along."

She shrugged and I smiled. She really was stubborn…just like me.

"I'll take that as a maybe," I said before standing up. "You've had a tough day and I know you're probably tired. I'll let you get some sleep."

I was walking to the door when Lilly said, "Mom?"

"What?" I replied, turning back to face her.

"Can we get my hair cut tomorrow? Nate said I can be in his pack, but I don't want to mess with my hair every time I change."

My heart swelled with pride. My Lilly was not a defeatist…just like Dylan. "Yeah, we can do that."

"Do I have to be in the pack forever?" she asked.

I fought back sudden tears because I knew that once Lilly fell in love with Gabe—and it was bound to happen—she _would_ be a wolf forever.

Instead of telling her that, I said, "Once you learn to control yourself, you won't need to phase if you choose not to."

"Good," she said before she laid on her bed.

"Night, honey."

I went back into the living room and found Gabe by himself. Nate, Jacob, Ness, and Dylan were outside talking on the porch.

"She hates me," Gabe whispered.

"No, she doesn't," I replied. "She's confused, young, and more than a little scared. Give her time."

He nodded and started walking towards the front door.

"Gabe," I called out. He paused but didn't look back, his shoulders hunched. "Why don't you come over for dinner on Sunday?"

He turned and looked at me, a smile finally reaching his eyes. "I'd like that."

He then walked out of the house, hope in every step he took.

* * *

**End Note**

If you don't have me on author alert, I recently posted the first chapter of Strange Imprint: Seth's Story. It's going to be my last fan fic. I hope to see you there! And let me know if you have any lingering questions about Lilly and Gabe. I'm going to put the different questions I get, as well as the answers, on my blog.


	23. Leah

This is more of an epilogue/drabble, but here is the final chapter of Absent.

* * *

**Chapter 23 - Leah**

So that's it. That's my story. As you see, I've had quite a few ups and downs in my life, but you know what? I don't regret a single one. They made me the woman I am today. I've lived a full life. And that was in large part because of my husband.

Sadly, Dylan passed away at the age of ninety-two before I finished my memoir. But we had an amazing life together. And I know that I won't be long in following him.

My daughter with her immortal face once asked me if I was ever afraid to die. She would never experience aging herself. She had instead chosen to live for eternity with her hybrid imprint and his family. (Yes, my daughter lives with the Cullens now. Can you believe that shit?)

My answer to her question was no.

When death finally comes for me, I'll welcome it with open arms because I know what's waiting for me on the other side. My mom and dad are there. Charlie's there. My brother Embry is there. And my Dylan is there.

But don't get me wrong. I'm not sitting around waiting for death to come for me. I might be an old lady now, but I still live every moment of my life to the fullest. Dylan taught me that.

Embry's widow, Rebecca, and I ended up at the same retirement home in Forks. I moved back to the area after Dylan died. We play bridge with the other old farts every Wednesday. Her son Luke and his imprint Alexis Paden-Call takes us out to dinner every weekend. Julian and Taurin come to visit me whenever they can. Same with Henry. And my daughter and Gabe come in from Astoria, Oregon every couple of weeks to see me. Of course, Lilly has to pose as my grandchild so she doesn't raise too many questions. I also get to see a lot of my actual grandkids.

But when I look at my children, I'm filled with happiness. I'm so damned proud of each one of them. They are the very best of Dylan and me. And through them, a piece of my husband will always live on. I'm at peace with that.

The truth is, I've felt content for years. After I hit menopause and realized that my chances of imprinting to make more wolf babies was slim to none, I relaxed a lot. It was tough for me to let go of my fear at first. But I ended up with Dylan for a reason.

I wasn't supposed to imprint. Fate had something else in mind for me when I fell in love. I was supposed to have Lilly, Henry, and Julian. Because of Lilly, she and her husband have created children that have both Clearwater and Black genes—two of the most powerful wolf lines in our tribe. Sam once thought we imprinted to make stronger wolves. My grandchildren are proof of that. Lilly's son Caleb serves as his cousin's Beta, and he's a good one at that.

And though I may have lived my life with an absent imprint, I found my soul mate on my own terms.

I've had a good life. I might have stumbled a few times, but I always found my way…thanks mostly to Dylan. I didn't need a man to give my life meaning…but Dylan certainly completed it.

I can't give him all the credit for how I turned out though. I have to give myself some, too. I'm proud of the woman I've become. Some people might see me as a bitch. Others might think I'm strong.

But I am who I am. Take it or leave it.

I'm Leah fucking Clearwater-Gordon.

And you know what?

I'm the luckiest woman in the world.

**THE END**

* * *

I started this story in December 2009 and I can finally hit the complete button! Thank you to my beta Jessica for her help. And thank you to all my readers who stayed with Absent throughout all the slow updates. I realized about five chapters into this story that I couldn't complete it until I got to the end of my other, much longer story Stormy (which I started months later), because Absent would've given away too many spoilers. So if you're wondering why it took so long to update, it was because I had to get the two stories caught up to the same timeline (well, that and I had writer's block for awhile). I really appreciated your patience.

I also want to thank all of you who left reviews and recommended this story to people. When I set out to write Absent, I had wanted to write a story about Leah that stayed true to canon. I hope I succeeded (though I think if SM ever writes Leah's story, she'd probably have her imprint). Absent also let me try a different writing style than what I normally do. The continual chapter prologues were something new for me, and this is the first story I've ever written that stays in one person's POV. :)

Thanks again for your support! LOL, and thanks to everyone who told me they were Team Dylan! (I loved writing him.)


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